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a gay lion named Tangiers
Jul 30, 2013
because let's be honest, atheists--at least on the internet--come across as a group of fedora-wearing, pimply and probably fat and extremely militant assholes who are dead set on taking offense at whatever someone just said. especially if someone just asked what their religion was; but also just because anime.

i just say "i'm non religious. i would say atheist but i think most atheists are assholes." and that is true from what i've seen

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towelieban
Feb 19, 2013
I do the same thing. I dont even say the second part, just only "I'm not religious".
If they ask me why, I'll ask them why they're religious. Usually its some bullshit about sense of piece and blah blah and I'll say "yea same reason"

ROFLburger
Jan 12, 2006
:agreed: tbh

Nic Cage dick cage
Jun 23, 2009

Lipstick Apathy
I just punch them in the face.

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
i just lie and say I converted to the nation of Islam. It casts a shadow of doubt on being my friend for jews and xtians.

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005
I watched Startalk too

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde
source?
          \

im pooping!
Nov 17, 2006


i ask them whats the one where you get to gently caress little boys then whatever they answer i just say "that one"

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



Gazpacho posted:

source?
          \


That's a pretty cool goatee. Rating this thread 4

This Jacket Is Me
Jan 29, 2009
When someone asks for my religion, I tell them to get their own.

Bowlcutbarricade
Dec 27, 2014

When someone asks me if I'm religious I reach into my chain wallet and pull out my deck of cards. I smirk very lightly and bow my head down. It has begun. I grab your hand and rush you to the nearest table Cards in hand. "Are you ready?" I ask you with a look of pure euphoria on my face, THEN LET IT BEGIN. Faster then a level 60 night elf on Skooma I place my cards face up onto the table. The brim of my vintage trilby covers my face but underneath is a devilish grin, the look of a man about to execute a prison of war. You try and speak but you can't. You try and move, but you are unable. I've trapped you in my web of logic. The screams and tears you emit cannot penetrate my aura of wisdom. Slowly I lower my first card down. The tears stream down as you try and struggle away. Then gently the card lands on the worn wooden table. Your eyes lower to see a picture of a colored wheel with a elderly black mans face inside it. But then you saw it. Above the man was the words "GOD" and below "DOES NOT EXIST". "WHAT IS THIS!" You scream but I'm to busy laughing to hear you. Passerbys cover their faces and start pacing away from the area. You look into my eyes but see nothing, no pupils no eyes nothing.You are nothing. Your body collapses to the ground as I adjust my trench coat and trousers as I get up and strut away. Another fundie crushed, I chuckle to myself as I mentally upvote my words. Just then the alarm on my Zune went off I looked down and read the text "6pm, facebook debates". Walking towards the sunset I sigh and shake my head whispering "my job never ends... does it?"

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quakster
Jul 21, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
my religion is posting. you heard me right, imma poster boy. what you gonna do about it

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
carry tons of pamphlets on mormonism just in case anyone ever asks you your religion

blainestereo
Jan 16, 2013

why would someone ask you about your religion op? nobody cares

but incidentally if someone ever does that's a nice answer you got prepared

Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 2 years!
i think im just gonna start answering islam

Ultramega
Jul 9, 2004

Islam whale holy grail

basement jihadist
Oct 3, 2002

Divine Styler
Apr 8, 2005

quantum mechanic
I don't think anyone has ever asked me my religion.

When the Mormons or JW's come to my house I just close my door. Like I would with any other D2D peddler.

Deadbeat Poetry
Mar 6, 2004

Sorry if my costume scared you
Cuckology

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend
I usually say Baptist because I'm a Baptist.

lorn Wayne
Jan 7, 2006

:staredog::meowth::pipe:
i instantly sprout a neckbeard on the spot

blainestereo
Jan 16, 2013

lol

batpisst

krampster2
Jun 26, 2014

just say "i'm whatever you are babe" that's how you get chicks op ;)

basement jihadist
Oct 3, 2002

krampster2 posted:

just say "i'm whatever you are babe" that's how you get chicks op ;)

"ah then we must read the holy qu'ran together!!!! what is your favorite teaching of the prophet Muhammad??"

basement jihadist
Oct 3, 2002

it is how u get chicks tho

salt shakeup
Jun 27, 2004

'orrible fucking nights
I/m not religious. I am "spiritual"

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
18% of people in my country believe in God

71% of americans believe in god




jesus christ guys

krampster2
Jun 26, 2014

Zzulu posted:

18% of people in my country believe in God

71% of americans believe in god




jesus christ guys

i think estonia is the lowest. do you go over there to buy cheap vodka because i heard that happens

Fredrik1
Jan 22, 2005

Gopherslayer
:rock:
Fallen Rib
I don't need a god to tell me how to post on a comedy internet forum.

I am Toni Lippi
Aug 16, 2004
"Whatever you are, that's my religion too. Since we both agree it's awesome we don't have to talk about it."

Amarcarts
Feb 21, 2007

This looks a lot like suffering.
I say that, "I never try to translate my spiritual experience into spoken or written language. So much would be lost in translation that none of the value would be communicated."

TacticalUrbanHomo
Aug 17, 2011

by Lowtax

Amarcarts posted:

I say that, "I never try to translate my spiritual experience into spoken or written language. So much would be lost in translation that none of the value would be communicated."

I hope you are trolling people when you say that, because it's asinine. The feelings referred to by words such as "love" or "drunk" are not communicated in those words, the words describe by definition. That is to say, they are ways of defining feelings that the listener is expected to be aware of, if not have a familiarity with, independent of hearing the words for them. To suggest that language cannot be used to describe your "spiritual experiences" is to suggest that they are truly unique to you, and therefore incomprehensible to anyone else, which you can't possibly have any real reason to believe.

Demonachizer
Aug 7, 2004
Non-participating.

treasure bear
Dec 10, 2012

im open to the idea of a god as long as it's me

City of Tampa
May 6, 2007

by zen death robot
no one has ever asked me what religion I am, what kind of weirdos do you hang out with where you have to explain your religions to each other? do you live in the middle east?

Who Is Paul Blart
Oct 22, 2010
im athiest

Beef Turret
Jul 9, 2009

by Lowtax
Whenever someone asks me my religion (which never happens but just pretend for this post that it does) then I immediately seize the opportunity to criticize my enemies, the atheists, people who are exactly the same as me in every way except instead of having some stupid ideology I have the same ideology but I apologize for it to strangers so I seem like a cool person

Hobohemian
Sep 30, 2005

by XyloJW
I tell Christians I'm Christian and I tell everyone else the truth that I'm atheist. It's easier to get things from christians if they think you're one of them and I know enough to comfortably bullshit them.

blainestereo
Jan 16, 2013

Whenever someone asks me my religion (which happens all the loving time, seriously people don't you have other poo poo to do), I pause as if considering the answer thoroughly, then exclaim ponderously, "Beef Turret!", then turn around and walk away.

Sometimes instead of walking away I get laid. Every other time, really.

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burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp
If you go "well I'm one of those guys but not like one of those guys that everyone hates" then guess what dipshit you are one of those guys and everyone hates you.

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