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Zeroisanumber
Oct 23, 2010

Nap Ghost
I always say that I was raised Catholic and leave it at that. Besides, being a Catholic is like being a Jew because you can stop going to church but you never get rid of all of the baggage.

Not diddled, by-the-by.

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Beef Turret
Jul 9, 2009

by Lowtax
I'm not like the other atheists whose worldview is indistinguishable from my own. I'm no rear end in a top hat. I prefer to spread the good kind of atheist wisdom, not the fedora type

blainestereo
Jan 16, 2013

Beef Turret posted:

I'm not like the other atheists whose worldview is indistinguishable from my own. I'm no rear end in a top hat. I prefer to spread the good kind of atheist wisdom, not the fedora type

almost like being an SJW amirite

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

Hobohemian posted:

I tell Christians I'm Christian and I tell everyone else the truth that I'm atheist. It's easier to get things from christians if they think you're one of them and I know enough to comfortably bullshit them.

1. I'm a Christian too. [LIE]

Amarcarts
Feb 21, 2007

This looks a lot like suffering.

TacticalUrbanHomo posted:

I hope you are trolling people when you say that, because it's asinine. The feelings referred to by words such as "love" or "drunk" are not communicated in those words, the words describe by definition. That is to say, they are ways of defining feelings that the listener is expected to be aware of, if not have a familiarity with, independent of hearing the words for them. To suggest that language cannot be used to describe your "spiritual experiences" is to suggest that they are truly unique to you, and therefore incomprehensible to anyone else, which you can't possibly have any real reason to believe.

What sort of sick gently caress trolls other people?

bonvivant
Oct 1, 2014

I may be racist, transphobic, an antisemite and a misogynist, but I project like an angel ;)
religion really is a blight and a big circus tent full of scary baptist regressives and young virginal reactionary perverts and needs to be eliminated

ghlbtsk
Apr 19, 2005

these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS
Since I am a kind and friendly person who doesn't use swear words, the question I usually get is "What denomination are you?" :what:

Because of this assumption, I tend to say either "Allah is God and Muhammed is his prophet" or instead of answering just start a very loud and public debate about abortion, in which I refuse to commit to an opinion because "there are valid arguments on both sides".

realtalk: Usually just "no" and change the subject, but if you really want to confound a believer just say you don't have an opinion about religion.

TacticalUrbanHomo
Aug 17, 2011

by Lowtax

City of Tampa posted:

no one has ever asked me what religion I am, what kind of weirdos do you hang out with where you have to explain your religions to each other? do you live in the middle east?

proselytising christians have asked. I can't think of anyone else who has brought it up when it hasn't organically come up in a conversation.

Beef Turret
Jul 9, 2009

by Lowtax
Religion is a virus that brainwashes children and makes them do things they'd never do otherwise. It must be destroyed at all costs. Not like atheism, the worldview that killed the most people in the history of the world, that one is good

withak
Jan 15, 2003


Fun Shoe
If you want to be kind of a dick then you can answer that you aren't superstitious. They will be offended because you have implied that their religions is a superstition (it is).

Relin
Oct 6, 2002

You have been a most worthy adversary, but in every game, there are winners and there are losers. And as you know, in this game, losers get robotizicized!
i find religion interesting but i dont feel the need to take an opinion on it as a whole (tho some religions are worse than others) so i also go by non religious

it's like asking me who am i rooting for in the super bowl which i also dont care about

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
It's a pretty well known fact that I'm Jewish. Amongst my friends anyway. I never say anything about it. It usually comes up whenever a new person says something like "he loving jewed me out of...." Or whatever. My friends got my back and tell them not to say poo poo like that because I'm Jewish. It's pretty much the closest I get to the experience of what it would be like if say I was black and someone dropped an N bomb without noticing I was there. It's always fun to watch someone back peddle out of their racist and anti Semitic poo poo. "Oh dude I'm sorry I didn't mean that". Actually you loving did. You piece of poo poo. I hope you feel embarrassed. You should.

I don't really believe in that poo poo but I'm cool with appreciating my cultural heritage.

City of Tampa
May 6, 2007

by zen death robot

Windows 98 posted:

It's a pretty well known fact that I'm Jewish. Amongst my friends anyway. I never say anything about it. It usually comes up whenever a new person says something like "he loving jewed me out of...." Or whatever. My friends got my back and tell them not to say poo poo like that because I'm Jewish. It's pretty much the closest I get to the experience of what it would be like if say I was black and someone dropped an N bomb without noticing I was there. It's always fun to watch someone back peddle out of their racist and anti Semitic poo poo. "Oh dude I'm sorry I didn't mean that". Actually you loving did. You piece of poo poo. I hope you feel embarrassed. You should.

I don't really believe in that poo poo but I'm cool with appreciating my cultural heritage.

What kind of anti-semitic poo poo do people say in America in the year 2015 though?

"oh man it would be great if Israel didn't murder so many women and children"

"GOOSE STEP YOUR WAY OUT OF HERE NAZI, I AM SECRETLY A JEW!"

Boinks
Nov 24, 2003



I say I'm an atheist. gently caress what people think.

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post

City of Tampa posted:

What kind of anti-semitic poo poo do people say in America in the year 2015 though?

"oh man it would be great if Israel didn't murder so many women and children"

"GOOSE STEP YOUR WAY OUT OF HERE NAZI, I AM SECRETLY A JEW!"

I feel like I shouldn't have to tell you people say anti Semitic poo poo all the time. That's like saying racism is over. No. People are awful and say horrible poo poo. The difference between me and other minorities is that they can't tell at first glance.

eSports Chaebol
Feb 22, 2005

Yeah, actually, gamers in the house forever,

City of Tampa posted:

What kind of anti-semitic poo poo do people say in America in the year 2015 though?

"oh man it would be great if Israel didn't murder so many women and children"

"GOOSE STEP YOUR WAY OUT OF HERE NAZI, I AM SECRETLY A JEW!"

I've heard "Sid" as in Hasidim used as a slur in upstate New York. "drat 'sids lining up outside Walmart with their welfare checks and 8 kids!"

I Am A Robot
Jul 1, 2006
I would say I'm an atheist just to see the look of horror on the face of the type of person that would actually ask that question.

City of Tampa
May 6, 2007

by zen death robot

Windows 98 posted:

I feel like I shouldn't have to tell you people say anti Semitic poo poo all the time. That's like saying racism is over. No. People are awful and say horrible poo poo. The difference between me and other minorities is that they can't tell at first glance.

Any examples though?

Because I feel that your average American has no idea what being anti-semitic even means, and in my experience the most racist Americans like and support Jews and Israel especially because they view them as the sworn enemy of Muslims.

For example I work with some seriously racist guys that will say the most repugnant poo poo about every race but they just love Jews and Israel.

City of Tampa
May 6, 2007

by zen death robot

eSports Chaebol posted:

I've heard "Sid" as in Hasidim used as a slur in upstate New York. "drat 'sids lining up outside Walmart with their welfare checks and 8 kids!"

yeah but unless you live near or in a Hasidic neighborhood nobody in America would have any idea what a 'sid is. And even then I would bet that lots of people that live in NYC wouldn't even be able to identify it as a slur.

TacticalUrbanHomo
Aug 17, 2011

by Lowtax

Windows 98 posted:

I feel like I shouldn't have to tell you people say anti Semitic poo poo all the time. That's like saying racism is over. No. People are awful and say horrible poo poo. The difference between me and other minorities is that they can't tell at first glance.

They can tell. Have you ever noticed that none of your other friends can smoke in the rain.

TacticalUrbanHomo
Aug 17, 2011

by Lowtax

City of Tampa posted:

Any examples though?

Because I feel that your average American has no idea what being anti-semitic even means, and in my experience the most racist Americans like and support Jews and Israel especially because they view them as the sworn enemy of Muslims.

For example I work with some seriously racist guys that will say the most repugnant poo poo about every race but they just love Jews and Israel.

Those types of people still hate Jews, they just hate them in a way that is different from the way they hate Muslims. I would argue that the weird fixation they have on Israel is in itself a form of anti-Semitism.

Sweaty IT Nerd
Jul 13, 2007


Were you guys saying Islam was pretty good? Maybe I'll try that.

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
The most common thing I hear is white kids throwing around the word Jew like they throw around the word "nigga".

"Don't be such a loving Jew"
"They jewed me out of loot on that boss"
"[Insert holocaust joke]"

It's not overtly anti Semitic because I don't think they realize what they are saying is anti Semitic. The same way they have never been called out for saying "nigga" because they live in Tulsa or some poo poo and have never even seen a black person.

Then there are some seriously hardcore Jew hating folk. These are people usually yelling about conspiracy theories. It seems harmless but some of them can be pretty harsh.
"Hitler should've finished the job and killed all those loving kikes. Then we wouldn't have all these Jews running the media and twisting the news to fit their agenda of revenge via FEMA camps blah blah blah". They can go loving hard.

Of course there is also the not crazy type of person that just out right hate Jews for no particular reason. They exist. And they are incredibly vocal about it.

E: before my friends grew up and realized they were being dicks they used to throw pennies at me in public places.

Windows 98 fucked around with this message at 16:06 on May 22, 2015

TacticalUrbanHomo
Aug 17, 2011

by Lowtax
Holocaust jokes are deeply insensitive to the German people who have had to suffer through the greatly exaggerated tales of the holocaust being real.

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)

krampster2 posted:

i think estonia is the lowest. do you go over there to buy cheap vodka because i heard that happens

I actually have, yea. The goal wasnt the alcohol though it was the cruise over. So you take a few hours on a cruiseship and chill, then land in Estonia, go look at some old city, buy some super cheap booze and then cruise back home

RaceBannon
Apr 3, 2010
No one has ever asked me my religion face to face. If someone were to, I'd say I don't have one. I think these rear end in a top hat atheists that people complain about only exist on the internet.

Boinks
Nov 24, 2003



RaceBannon posted:

No one has ever asked me my religion face to face. If someone were to, I'd say I don't have one. I think these rear end in a top hat atheists that people complain about only exist on the internet.

I think they only speak out on the internet. If you see one in public they're not even likely to make eye contact.

Mr. Pumroy
May 20, 2001

somebody once asked me if i was religious and i said no and he said did you ever go to a funeral for a family member and i said no, then he said oh that's why, you'd believe if you did

i went to my grandpa's funeral like five years before i just didn't tell him because it seemed weird to talk about and wasn't really his business

Khorne
May 1, 2002
I remember when I was 14 op. Atheism and non-religious/agnostic/none are pretty much the same thing it's just lil babies trying to put themselves in a unique basket or present a superlative self image to others who would negatively judge one descriptor but not the other. You either buy into the mysticism or you don't bother with it. It's "need" not "needs" ya big dummy.

Khorne fucked around with this message at 16:51 on May 22, 2015

basement jihadist
Oct 3, 2002

Khorne posted:

I remember when I was 14 op. Atheism and non-religious/agnostic/none are pretty much the same thing it's just lil babies trying to put themselves in a unique basket or present a superlative self image to others who would negatively judge one descriptor but not the other. You either buy into the mysticism or you don't bother with it.
It's "need" not "needs" ya big dummy.

i'll get that thru to whoever actually made the pic

but yes islam is the light and has put me at peace insh'allah. i no longer needed to be angry about god and was blessed with happiness, sex, and about 3 handjobs buy they were bad but i didn't even stop them because even a dry rub holds within as all things the glory and light of Allah.

Khorne
May 1, 2002

basement jihadist posted:

i'll get that thru to whoever actually made the pic
please do, but I think it's a troll pic

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
Atheists just so happened to murder SIXTY MILLION BABIES in America since 1973. Atheists have murdered more Christians than any other group, including Muslims. That is saying something.

Christians built all the hospitals, colleges, universities and charities in this nation you lying ignoramus! Only recently did secularists finally begin to do what Christians have done ALL OVER THE WORLD for 2000 years. Christians feed and clothe the poor, atheists and liberals exploit them, take advantage of them, and manipulate them through lies TO GET VOTES AND POWER.

Affe mk2
Mar 9, 2004

Chicks dig giant robots
i tell people i'm an atheist but only because i get weird looks when i tell people i think the sun is god

Scrotum Modem
Sep 12, 2014

I'm atheist but the last time someone asked what my religion is I said "whichever religion you prefer it to be" it def confused the hell out of the poor guy

seriously it was way off topic so why the hell did you ask and why the gently caress does it matter

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!
Grimey Drawer
Atheists ruined being an Atheist

good job you assholes

spank my snatch
Jun 4, 2009

apostate or sometimes cathar

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004

A peckish little mouse!

devin2 posted:

because let's be honest, atheists--at least on the internet--come across as a group of fedora-wearing, pimply and probably fat and extremely militant assholes who are dead set on taking offense at whatever someone just said. especially if someone just asked what their religion was; but also just because anime.

i just say "i'm non religious. i would say atheist but i think most atheists are assholes." and that is true from what i've seen

When someone asks any opinion I just scream and rip out my hair because it's essentially the same thing is taking about what stupid bullshit your broken brain believes.

Gay Hitler
Dec 11, 2006

I'm gay as heil!

just say "hail satan"

ghlbtsk
Apr 19, 2005

these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS
:smugbert::"I'm an apatheist"

:mad::"What does that mean?"

:smugbert::"It means I don't care about religion"

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RaceBannon
Apr 3, 2010
Seriously, where do you people live where people ask your religion?

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