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Cool NIN Shirt
Nov 26, 2007

by vyelkin
I am literally LOL'ing if your bowel movements aren't a firm consistency and are easy to clean up. ROFL if they are excessively foul-smelling and irregular. LMAO at your terrible diet and/or retarded GI tract.

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penus penus penus
Nov 9, 2014

by piss__donald
i poo once every 3 days

penus penus penus
Nov 9, 2014

by piss__donald
i think its loving weird if you poop more than once a day. like if you were a girl id str8 up break up with you over that

FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams

Cool NIN Shirt posted:

I am literally LOL'ing if your bowel movements aren't a firm consistency and are easy to clean up. ROFL if they are excessively foul-smelling and irregular. LMAO at your terrible diet and/or retarded GI tract.

No you're not.

penus penus penus
Nov 9, 2014

by piss__donald
I mean, like really lol

Cool NIN Shirt
Nov 26, 2007

by vyelkin

THE DOG HOUSE posted:

i poo once every 3 days

:wtf: eat some vegetables bro. If you "dont eat" veggies, metamucil makes an orange-flavored fiber supplement

Chonchon
Dec 16, 2013

roflmao if you aren't making GBS threads enough to fill the bowl up to the brim

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3
Nov 15, 2003
so Englishmen running around the world always had stomach problems, but their native porters never did. they also noticed that these porters took massive shits several times a day.

eat fiber and you wont have stomach problems.

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
I pooped today and it's not even noon. Probably will poop again before bed.

milkingmycow
Mar 28, 2008

by Cyrano4747
Constantly making GBS threads, nonstop 24/7/365. This requires eating with the same intensity. Truckload after truckload of fast food, snacks and a team of methed out "cookers" provide the constant stream of Aramark quality slop sliding into my gullet. My blood is a gelatinous substance 45% sodium rub it between your fingers to feel the grit blood pressure is 370/360. A length of PVC running from the kiddie pool my computer chair is in drains the opaque yellow with streaks of tinged oily poo poo to the pump and out the door into the repurposed swimming pool. Time for hose down.

penus penus penus
Nov 9, 2014

by piss__donald

Cool NIN Shirt posted:

:wtf: eat some vegetables bro. If you "dont eat" veggies, metamucil makes an orange-flavored fiber supplement

saw a doctor over ten years ago, its firmly normal . i actually think im superior to you because of it

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

sometimes if I drank a lot of beer the night before my poo smells like a robust IPA

Cool NIN Shirt
Nov 26, 2007

by vyelkin

THE DOG HOUSE posted:

saw a doctor over ten years ago, its firmly normal . i actually think im superior to you because of it

Lol yah it's "normal" for a fat American that eats mostly processed foods. There's no way you can eat a diet rich in whole grains, legumes and fruits/vegetables and poop every 3 days. FACT!

Enjoy your colorectal cancer, once you have a colostomy bag you wont ever need to poo poo again

penus penus penus
Nov 9, 2014

by piss__donald

Cool NIN Shirt posted:

Lol yah it's "normal" for a fat American that eats mostly processed foods. There's no way you can eat a diet rich in whole grains, legumes and fruits/vegetables and poop every 3 days. FACT!

Enjoy your colorectal cancer, once you have a colostomy bag you wont ever need to poo poo again

No man, it actually is normal. And I was extremely fit when I saw the doctor. You're body is just inefficient, sorry. I was 6'2" and 160 lbs, rowing for crew.

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot

milkingmycow posted:

Constantly making GBS threads, nonstop 24/7/365. This requires eating with the same intensity. Truckload after truckload of fast food, snacks and a team of methed out "cookers" provide the constant stream of Aramark quality slop sliding into my gullet. My blood is a gelatinous substance 45% sodium rub it between your fingers to feel the grit blood pressure is 370/360. A length of PVC running from the kiddie pool my computer chair is in drains the opaque yellow with streaks of tinged oily poo poo to the pump and out the door into the repurposed swimming pool. Time for hose down.

:frogon:

Cnut the Great
Mar 30, 2014
i poop once in the morning and once in the evening and i think it's grand. just grand.

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.
OMG I love to poop!

roikun777
May 19, 2007

hedgehog's dilemma
You guys have me worried. I eat p much only vegetables and cheese and I poo every two or three days. I used to poo constantly, just one solid stream of soft serve horror, but I also used to drink non stop.

Where is the poo going if I'm not pooping it out 1-2 times a day?

penus penus penus
Nov 9, 2014

by piss__donald

roikun777 posted:

You guys have me worried. I eat p much only vegetables and cheese and I poo every two or three days. I used to poo constantly, just one solid stream of soft serve horror, but I also used to drink non stop.

Where is the poo going if I'm not pooping it out 1-2 times a day?

its being converted into energy. fear not, you are one of the Superiors

Beef Turret
Jul 9, 2009

by Lowtax
making GBS threads that often just fucks up your bowels. Enjoy the ulcers op

ChairmanMeow
Mar 1, 2008

Fire up the grill everyone eats tonight!
Lipstick Apathy

THE DOG HOUSE posted:

No man, it actually is normal. And I was extremely fit when I saw the doctor. You're body is just inefficient, sorry. I was 6'2" and 160 lbs, rowing for crew.

I poop once every week or two. I only pooped once in March. Seriously, I have had 2 doctors tell me it's fine.

Renegret
May 26, 2007

THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*


Cat Army Sworn Enemy
I just took a really smelly dump, op.

Renegret
May 26, 2007

THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*


Cat Army Sworn Enemy
My only regret is that I did it at home and not at work

CISMALES DID 9-11
Jun 5, 2002

chaotic good STEM major; INTJ
im very regular but my poop and farts smell p bad OP it's just always been that way though

Bowlcutbarricade
Dec 27, 2014

lol if you don't have a crippling addiction to opiates that make making GBS threads a monthly thing

penus penus penus
Nov 9, 2014

by piss__donald

ChairmanMeow posted:

I poop once every week or two. I only pooped once in March. Seriously, I have had 2 doctors tell me it's fine.

ur gonna die

Renegret
May 26, 2007

THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*


Cat Army Sworn Enemy
I've been eating tons of beans lately and they do things to my farts.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
eat at least one salad a day IMHO. a good salad is delicious and theres so many types!!!

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


Chinatown posted:

eat at least one salad a day IMHO. a good salad is delicious and theres so many types!!!

It's loving rabbit food.

ChairmanMeow
Mar 1, 2008

Fire up the grill everyone eats tonight!
Lipstick Apathy

THE DOG HOUSE posted:

ur gonna die

I imagine

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

It's loving rabbit food.

:agreed:

I still eat it but I refuse to enjoy salad

especially as the usual means to make a salad enjoyable (dressing, cheese) are loaded with calories and fat and defeat the purpose

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.
every day once a day right before i shower. don't even buy tp anymore

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry
someone post that cool goondiet

e: nevermind found it

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry
As I said before, sweetness also makes me vomit, just like the bitterness of vegetables does, so no, I do not eat candy.

Well, OK, exception: I can eat dark chocolate. Sometimes I'll eat a small piece of dark chocolate after a meal. But milk chocolate is disgusting because it's too sweet. And I definitely cannot drink coffee- it's far too bitter.

And I can't drink any kind of cola at all because it's far too sweet.

I DO like Sprite. Also lemonade, because it seems more sour than sweet. Those two things are the only things I can drink besides water. Mostly I just drink tons of water. And I can't stand tap water, it has to be filtered, or bottled water that has been filtered.

This is a list of pretty much any meal I eat ever:

- Steak and a baked potato with cheese and sour cream
- cheeseburger with ONLY ketchup and mayo and potato chips
- broiled fish (either whitefish or tilapia, no other kind) and clam chowder
- fried chicken and jojos with ranch dressing
- kung pao chicken and steamed white rice
- beef and cheese burrito and tortilla chips and salsa
- spicy chicken sandwich with cheese and mayo on it and potato chips
- hamburger helper (classic) and potato chips
- tuna helper (classic) and potato chips
- buffalo wings and mozzarella sticks with marinara sauce

And yeah that is pretty much all I eat ever at any time. It's not even like it's fun or anything. I've been eating the same stuff for so many years that I'm really, really sick of it, but I literally cannot stomach eating anything else, and believe me I have tried.

Al Nipper
May 7, 2008

by XyloJW
I had a terrible drinking binge over the summer and one night took a poo poo with the consistency and appearance of black tar. it was so thick it clogged the toilet.

was too drunk to really process what was happening at the time and it never happened again but in retrospect was kinda disturbing

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Chinatown posted:

eat at least one salad a day IMHO. a good salad is delicious and theres so many types!!!

I can't eat most vegetables OR fruits and I've never had anyone say anything to me about it, other than my parents when I was little, and they gave up after they realized that vegetables and fruits LITERALLY make me vomit. I can't even imagine having friends who were that dumb and controlling that they actually made fun of me for the way I ate.

Though if anyone did decide to harass me about not eating vegetables when we were out to dinner, I guess I could go ahead and put a vegetable in my mouth and start chewing and inevitably gag and vomit it up right on the table. Probably they'd stop bothering me after a while. Really though I'd just drop any friend who presumed to tell me what I can and can't eat.

I'm 33. I have normal blood pressure, cholesterol, and weight. I'm pretty sure there's no scientific proof saying that you need vegetables in order to be healthy. There are no vitamins or nutrients in vegetables that you can't get in other foods and/or pills.

Like I said, I'm a supertaster, which is an actual thing. One big thing with supertasters is that we can detect bitterness where normal people can't. Like, some people will say vodka tastes like nothing at all. Others will say it tastes only mildly bitter. To a supertaster, vodka is unbearably, extremely bitter. I'll throw up instantly if there is vodka in my mouth. This is the problem with most vegetables- they're VERY bitter to me. You can say that peas and carrots taste totally different, and they do, but they both have a VERY strong bitter taste to me that will make me instantly vomit. I'm not against trying different things- I've tried tons of different vegetables and they're pretty much all disgusting, with the exception of potatoes, onions, and tomatoes (well I guess tomatoes are technically a fruit but whatever.)

Like I said, I also can't eat most fruits because almost all fruits are sweet, and the taste- or even smell- of sweetness also makes me vomit. People can sit there and talk about how easy it is to develop an acquired taste, but they don't understand what's it's like when the large majority of food makes you literally, physically gag and throw up, sometimes just from the smell of it, let alone the taste. If I was trapped on a desert island and was starving, I'm pretty sure I still wouldn't be able to eat a vegetable, I would just gag and throw it up as soon as it was in my mouth.

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry
that thread should be a goldmine lmao

TacticalUrbanHomo
Aug 17, 2011

by Lowtax

Cool NIN Shirt posted:

Lol yah it's "normal" for a fat American that eats mostly processed foods.

what qualifies food as being "processed"

serious norman
Dec 13, 2007

im pickle rick!!!!
Lmfao. THat's disgusting non ironically. I poop 2 times a week.

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Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

TacticalUrbanHomo posted:

what qualifies food as being "processed"

removing lot of nutrition and making it monochromatic, and stuffing it full of preservatives and poo poo so they can ship it across the country

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