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great big cardboard tube
Sep 3, 2003


y'all ever do this? knowing how depraved an act it was just made me get off quicker, would recommend A+

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Not_Rainbow_Horse
Nov 11, 2013
naw

NakedWithCandy
Sep 22, 2014
did you think of a better life while jerking off?

Nefarious
Sep 26, 2000

by XyloJW
jerking off is my line of work

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
i work at the jerkoff store

great big cardboard tube
Sep 3, 2003



why not?

GODS NOT REAL
Sep 25, 2012

YOU STUPID BUNNIES

Enfield posted:

i work at the jerkoff store

And theyre all out of you

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot
Cool.

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot
jerked off and didn't talk about it today.

GAYS FOR DAYS
Dec 22, 2005

by exmarx
no because your mom just blows me under my desk

a bone to pick
Sep 14, 2011

by FactsAreUseless
A good boss will encourage their employees to cum as often as possible.

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004
the janitor, anil ramdass, was watching the whole time


know the shame op

Verily I Shat
May 24, 2015

by Smythe
I put my dilz in a woman often

Space Jam
Jul 22, 2008

i hope you don't work at a school

Verily I Shat
May 24, 2015

by Smythe
Feels good

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
I remember when Cornholio said he did there was an epic 100 page thread of people guffawing at such barbarity (he even got a custom title), but just lol if op isn't the only one in thread who does it now. What an age to be alive in

Abdul Alhazred
Mar 15, 2007
hell yeah, good way to pass the time on a night shift

Verily I Shat
May 24, 2015

by Smythe

Kuato posted:

I remember when Cornholio said he did there was an epic 100 page thread of people guffawing at such barbarity (he even got a custom title), but just lol if op isn't the only one in thread who does it now. What an age to be alive in

youre so cool

Prettz
Sep 3, 2002

i make it a point to masturbate every place i go

Whiskey Sours
Jan 25, 2014

Weather proof.
Why don't you just jerk off in your office like a normal person?

The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.
i once masturbated in a submarine bilge on cleanup duty


i got the idea 'cus there was sharpie graffiti tucked away that read "if you're reading this you're laying in my cum" and i was like drat i could totally get away with a jack right here and now couldn't i

Drad_Bert
Jun 26, 2013

by Smythe

Enfield posted:

i work at the jerkoff store

They're running out of you :haw:

Horniest Manticore
Nov 23, 2013

Hello, you!
Lipstick Apathy

Space Jam posted:

i hope you don't work at a school

at a morgue

Airstream Driver
May 6, 2009

A guy at work used to do this regularly. Stall doors were knee high and you could clearly see his shadow jerking it. Nobody liked that guy.

WAMPA_STOMPA
Oct 21, 2010

Airstream Driver posted:

A guy at work used to do this regularly. Stall doors were knee high and you could clearly see his shadow jerking it. Nobody liked that guy.

Did you jerk it to his shadow jerkin it?

Whiskey Sours
Jan 25, 2014

Weather proof.

Airstream Driver posted:

A guy at work used to do this regularly. Stall doors were knee high and you could clearly see his shadow jerking it. Nobody liked that guy.

Of course nobody liked him. He was such a jerk!

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
yea

BadTitude
Feb 15, 2003

Not so curious after the war.

the twist is he is an elementary school teacher

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
If you were taking a poo poo and someone kicked in the door they'd be fired but if they did it while you were jerking off you'd be fired. Makes you think.

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008

by Lowtax
Sounds like youre conducting some risky business.

Rabite
Apr 13, 2002

Dynamiet Rab
i remember when someone posted about this, like 20 years ago

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
I jerked off in the bathroom while on a date once

edit: twice if I count getting really drunk and jerking off in the bathroom at a frat party

Shimrra Jamaane fucked around with this message at 08:38 on May 24, 2015

El Duderino
Mar 28, 2003

If you're not into that whole brevity thing..

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

I jerked off in the bathroom while on a date once

That's just smart sex-prepping. I do this when I wanna up my game from 2 minutes to a whopping 5.

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot

El Duderino posted:

That's just smart sex-prepping. I do this when I wanna up my game from 2 minutes to a whopping 5.

She would've preferred if it was 2 minutes.

Monday_
Feb 18, 2006

Worked-up silent dork without sex ability seeks oblivion and demise.
The Great Twist
Did it once, years ago. They kept a few Playboys in the men's room, what's a guy supposed to do with them?

The funny thing was one day we had a Take Your Kid To Work day and they forgot to take them out. One lady's six year old son got an eyeful, she was pissed.

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
did this one

desperate times bro

Ramsus
Sep 14, 2002

by Hand Knit

The Protagonist posted:

i once masturbated in a submarine bilge on cleanup duty


i got the idea 'cus there was sharpie graffiti tucked away that read "if you're reading this you're laying in my cum" and i was like drat i could totally get away with a jack right here and now couldn't i

same but destroyer

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry

Verily I Shat posted:

youre so cool

He's right though, passe acts are now the norm.

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004

A peckish little mouse!

Ramsus posted:

same but destroyer

Destroyer? I hardly knew her.

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Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
there are few places i have not jerked off in

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