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Germstore
Oct 17, 2012

A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time
update: accidental risotto was pretty good. overusing butter saves the day.

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Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
im eating a pile of farts

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

i hope you have learned a lesson from this, dad gay - that life is short so you should enjoy it by eating all the burgs and drinking all the beers you want and just doing whatever makes you happy

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

Enfield posted:

im eating a pile of farts

drat! is that even legal?

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014


Ramrod XTreme
going out for 5 guys

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

My brother cooks at a Five Guys and he's a total gently caress up FYI.

Germstore
Oct 17, 2012

A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time
why are the sacks of potatoes always conspicuous? ok, you make your own fries. I'd have taken your word for it

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k
Getting wasted for the holiday. Thought about you whilenfilpping the grilled pig belly for a sec. Making some salsa verde too. Its almost done. Jesus, Titos is good vodka. Hope you're bjaving a nice holiday too op.

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004
drinkin a carm mach itt

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
fully blotto, no tachs, five guys tomorrow

Ork of Fiction
Jul 22, 2013

dad gay. so what posted:

I think maybe all the rain and lack of sun caused it - like 20 days in a row, gently caress

Possible. Definitely that or the congenital thing. One of the two.

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004

dad gay. so what posted:

fully blotto, no tachs, five guys tomorrow

gonna mix it up wrt your burger routine or what dad gay?

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot
op makes me want 5 guys now

Doppelganger
Oct 11, 2002

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
Did you go to the ER yourself, or by ambulance?

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Doppelganger posted:

Did you go to the ER yourself, or by ambulance?

He went by himself or he probably would've gotten treated in the ambo.

Roki B
Jul 25, 2004


Medical Industrial Complex


Biscuit Hider
Shepgoots what do you do you know to much



Op and everybody else I'm impressed you made it past infancy with your broken, weak bodies.

Nefarious
Sep 26, 2000

by XyloJW
i could really go for some five guys

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Roki B posted:

Shepgoots what do you do you know to much



Op and everybody else I'm impressed you made it past infancy with your broken, weak bodies.

I'm a piece of poo poo

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot

Nefarious posted:

i could really go for some five guys

Professor of Cats
Mar 22, 2009

Sheep-Goats posted:

I'm a piece of poo poo

Legit question; isn't this one of those make or break deals? Isn't heart stopping a big deal?

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Professor of Cats posted:

Legit question; isn't this one of those make or break deals? Isn't heart stopping a big deal?

Depends.

Your heart has an almost continuously arranged set of failsafes where if the impulse to beat doesn't start where it usually does it will start somewhere else. It wouldn't be exactly wrong to say that any cell in the heart could potentially get things going again. Obviously the heart is meant to beat in a certain coordinated fashion and from the SA node down with conduction thresholds being met along the hearts biological circuitry in order is the way to achieve this but even a grabastic random squeezing is going to work better than nothing thanks to the multiple one way valves in place in your heart and vasculature.

Dad gay has a part of his heart near the top that is just going bezerk sometimes and causing beats to start when it shouldn't. To stop that you can either chemically or electrically shut down the heart for an instant and hopefully order restores itself. In the mid term the usual fix is to chill the whole system out with medications and hopefully this drops this naughty bit of cells below the point where it causes a beat before the SA node does. Sometimes it's not that exact region that's the issue but the fact that incorrectly a circuit has been made (through bad living) back to that spot so like a whiny white kid in front of a judge it's friends keep making it do it. Long term they fix this by abalsion, of locating the errant cells and nuking them, leaving a tiny dead spatch in the heart that turns into useless scar tissue but at least doesn't cause trouble. This works pretty well in the modern era.

Some people as they go through life lose the failsafes one at a time. The SA node gives out. The top cells get lazy. Almost all the other wiring fails. Note that when I say fails what is usually going on is cell malformation or death often due to other problems with the heart as the heart is obviously its own blood supply. So your heart might be okay and then you have a heart attack (which is where your arteries crack internally because they're stiff as hell from you not watching your cholesterol and general cardiovascular health, then your body does you the favor of sealing that crack up with a clot, but it goes too far and clots that bitch shut, effectively suffocating all heart tissues distal to that blood supply) and if you don't die now a part of your heart doesn't work in the pattern it should. If it's the top part of your heart oh well, no biggie, you have reduced function. If it's the bottom part that could be a big problem. One particular blood supply is key to feeding the biological tissues that run down the heart and function as the circuitry that I keep talking about this particular artery is known as the Widowmaker as if it's the one that get plugged up outcomes aren't good. Anyway, this kind of erosion gets you into territories where either the whole heart can stop at once or else it's poised to.

But hey maybe your heart stops because you've so profoundly hosed up the balance of chemicals used to run the whole shop that the heart either goes perfectly slack or seizes up like a rock. For example if you get a big fat injection of potassium because you've been sentenced to die from bad posting or maybe you're a shithead who wouldn't stop drinking and eating and got diabetes and high blood pressure and the abnormally high volume of heavy sugar molecules pounding the delicate filter tissues of your kidneys eroded your kidneys so now you can no longer expel potassium and then you decided to skip dialysis because gawd it's so inconvenient to me and gee whiz hope someone can fix this temporarily while you're on your way to emergency dialysis to continue living your "life" of being fat, tired, and going to dialysis three times a week and being a burden on everyone in society.

Maybe your heart stops because someone shot a bullet through it and it's torn to poo poo. It probably doesn't matter if someone shoots you through the heart when you're on the surgeon's table because you'll be braindead before they can get anything in place to get blood to your brain again, plus most of your heart tissues die from anoxia almost as quickly as brain tissue does so the bits that had vascular interruptions will certainly be dead and lol if you can loose that much of your heart and still have one that when sewn together will be able to put out enough blood to keep you alive.

Maybe however you have a few early failsafes offline and kind of a bad ticker that sometimes works okay and sometimes runs erratically and due to stress hormones and a meal heavy in the wrong chemical ion and maybe a little physical exertion your heart just starts going bezerk. Lots of times they call this "your heart stopped" on TV. In that case you can shock the poo poo out of it and hopefully that causes uniform discharge and the natural leaders in electrical discharge go first and things return to normal. Maybe you should have a pacemaker put in to do this automatically and not risk death before you can get to a hospital if that happens again if that's the case. If this happens several times your heart may even develop collateral vasculature and you can be the guy that lives through six or seven heart attacks thanks to repeatedly torturing your heart -- of course you'll lose some functionality each time but you can just use that as an excuse to get other people to do stuff for you if you're into that.

Maybe you're lucky and live to your 80s with most of your failsafes in place and then it all goes horribly wrong one night when you're asleep and you wake up just as you start to realize something has gone absoluely wrong but before you can move or groan or roll over you pass out again and your sweet wife of 48 years finds you dead, staring at the ceiling in the morning, and the ambulance comes and they recognize you've been dead for hours and they talk to your wife a little bit to explain that her husband is dead, that they're sorry, and that the police will come to keep her company until the medical examiner gets there, and once the medical examiner is there to officiate they will help her figure out what to do with your body. Is there anyone they can call for her? This is what they call dying of old age or natural causes and is widely and wisely seen as the best possible way to leave the Earth, apart from suicide proponents, who are also probably not wrong.

raton fucked around with this message at 10:12 on May 26, 2015

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
What I'm saying is that you should exercise, make your vegetable portions larger and your meat portions smaller, stop eating too many pastries and cookies and other things made with shortening, and when you end up sick keep a sense of humor because no one wants to help a morbid sack of poo poo with no people skills.

Also please don't get your burgs well done if you can help it. No one likes those people either.

Ork of Fiction
Jul 22, 2013

Professor of Cats posted:

Legit question; isn't this one of those make or break deals? Isn't heart stopping a big deal?

Nah. You can stop it yourself just by punching the baroreceptor in your carotid sinus hard enough with your knuckle. If you want to try, it's right where the interior carotid separates from the exterior, parallel to the hyoid. Tilt your head back, find the soft spot just below your jaw bone, and give it a good jab!

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Doppelganger posted:

Did you go to the ER yourself, or by ambulance?

some one took me its like 2 minutes away but i was blacking out

Nefarious
Sep 26, 2000

by XyloJW
how much do you weigh these days, op

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Sheep-Goats posted:

What I'm saying is that you should exercise, make your vegetable portions larger and your meat portions smaller, stop eating too many pastries and cookies and other things made with shortening, and when you end up sick keep a sense of humor because no one wants to help a morbid sack of poo poo with no people skills.

Also please don't get your burgs well done if you can help it. No one likes those people either.

maybe ill read up on all that stuff if i have some time today. i also agree that its important to enjoy life and not let your body tell you what to do. thank you for your encouragement. also, 5'guys only comes in juicy well doneness, so...

ShaqDiesel
Mar 21, 2013
Is 5 guys worth a 25 minute drive? Asking for a friend.

Nefarious
Sep 26, 2000

by XyloJW

ShaqDiesel posted:

Is 5 guys worth a 25 minute drive? Asking for a friend.

YES

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Nefarious posted:

how much do you weigh these days, op

i probably started the week at 185, who knows now. we had a big party sunday and im still eating and drinking leftovers

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

ShaqDiesel posted:

Is 5 guys worth a 25 minute drive? Asking for a friend.

i do that quite often.

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
the farthest i would go is probably 45 minutes

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
i probably slept for 20 hours total yesterday

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
in 16 hours its my birthday so im getting tanked at 8am

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
soon well be dead

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Enfield posted:

in 16 hours its my birthday so im getting tanked at 8am

gently caress yes. ride the snake

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004

dad gay. so what posted:

gently caress yes. ride the snake

jimmy tango?

u fink u hard Percy
Sep 14, 2007

This is it, goons are starting to die of natural causes. Last man out turn the lights off.

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
kill whitey

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
i figger i can pass out around noon and take a nap til 9 and go to the bar fresh as a daisy. in the mrantime im writing poetry and shrieking

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Nefarious
Sep 26, 2000

by XyloJW
i love handjobs

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