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Apr 29, 2024 09:33
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- Cactus Ghost
- Dec 20, 2003
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you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc
the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack
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I don't come out as a Wheedon defender, but I think you do have to acknowledge 1)he has some talent 2)he has put enough hours into directing and writing shows that he has solid experience.
I didn't really enjoy buffy until the season where there was a government military organization that was screwing around with the supernatural. Before that, the series seemed childish in terms of writing/plot to me. After that point from the episodes I watched I think he can do a compelling job storytelling. I really enjoyed the Hush where the was no dialogue. Also the episode where the tree monster tapped into an internet cable to pose as a horny teen girl and eat the perverts who showed up. However I think a lot of the Buffy characters were mired in fan service. Making the wiccan a lesbian seemed more like pandering than plot driven. The Faith character was a slutty evil Buffy. Not much depth.
I did really like the first several seasons of Angel. The actors were good, they had an excellent chemistry, depthof character and Wheedon knows how to write a cliff hanger and blind side you with plot twists.
I've watched every episode of Firefly twice and honestly it is moderate at best. With the exception of that one horror episode about the reaver, the plots are meandering and the characters all seem to be written as having their head up their respective asses. The 'romance' between the doctor and the engineer is contrived. River is a deus ex machina. The only character who fits is the main browncoat. It is also clear from the changes from episode to episode that Wheedon was cribbing from the Lost school of episode writing where he DIDN'T have a plan or set world backstory in stone from week to week. The Shepard character is literally a cypher who's role of maybe good guy, maybe bad suspicious guy changes from week to week and is resolved in seconds in the moview because they didn't bother to actually make the character anything other than a plot device.
Another thing. Why do River's government stalkers wear blue gloves? No reason was developed. Wheedon admitted he just threw in the detail because it looked cool. If you are going to spend a great deal of time of the detail "two by two, hands of blue" over and loving over again, make it have a reason. Checkov would commit suicide with his gun.
A lot of Firefly reminded me of season 3 of Deadwood where the actors know they are getting canceled and they are going through the motions.
Having said that, Wheedon's world building for what happened to Earth was interesting and it was sufficient enough to make the Serenity movie worthwhile.
Never bothered to watch dollhouse.
Avengers was good though in the economy of scenes where you had two or three characters and 1)plot was moved forwards while 2) good character development was happening. Also, a hallmark of Wheedon was the snappy and funny dialogue and it worked.
I'm still musing over Age of Ultron. I don't think Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver were compelling enough...Renner as the heart of the movie was a good and unexpected choice. Also I was very impressed by Chekov's Hammer. I did not see that coming and that was worthy of O'Henry.
this post looks like someone ate a tvtropes index and barfed on the table
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May 25, 2015 17:34
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- Cactus Ghost
- Dec 20, 2003
-
you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc
the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack
|
Avengers 1 was a nice action flick where the impetus of the film was bringing together the characters from their respective movies to pool their energies against a bigger threat. The rock was big enough to roll down the hill on its own and so the characters could do *whatever* in the mean time while the audience acknowledges that -eventually- the movie will end with "good guys team up to beat bad guys". And that's fine. It distracted me from a lot of the Whedonisms that plague his films (although as I've gotten older, my cynical half has made them a lot less bearable) like Iron Man's retarded speech to Loki and literally crammed in one liners:
Some other dude: "Here comes the party"
Black Widow: "How is that a party?"
Oh but I guess Whedon is so meta he's ultra-aware so it's still funny or whatever.
That said, I was confused and disappointed by Avengers 2. It has no natural incline towards it ending. The fucker rolled every where between characters and some of them were very inconsistent in terms of motivations and power-levels. Why can Quicksilver punch apart robots with ease but only runs by and slaps Black Widow and Hawkeye? I would have guessed it was because they didn't want to kill anyone, but they still killed the Baron? How does he get speed powers from the MIND gem?
Why is Thor taking such a dangerous bath (I KNOW why but holy gently caress did that come out of nowhere)? Wasn't the destruction of the rainbow bridge supposed to be tragic because it meant Thor could never see Natalie Portman again? Oh but wait *MAGIC* in Avengers 1 and now in Avengers 2 it's suddenly fixed like 2 years later. Don't get me wrong, not being able to see your loved ones for a few years sucks but even Tom Hanks spent more time away from his fiancee and all he had to talk to was a volleyball and at least when Thor gets back Natalie Portman isn't loving his dentist.
Why does Black Widow suddenly know Kali and wear bright neon lining on her clothing despite being a recon character? She looks like a pair of loving LA Lights sneakers. Why do I care that she has no uterus? Could they not find a way to bring more to her character other than pointing out things that physically make her less of a woman?
And Ultron - oh my god Ultron. That is a Disney villain if I ever saw one. I know he's supposed to have Iron Man's personality since he was built into a framework conceived by him but they probably shouldn't have done that in the first place. I can't take him seriously. He's a robot with lips and a snarky personality. Those two things do not make him intimidating. There are a million better ways to do a robot antagonist. Hal 9000, Dorothy from Galerians, Cybermen- the list goes on and on and on. But Ultron's whole character is the little dangly ages 6-11 lure on the big, bloated, ugly angler fish of a mess this whole plot became. He isn't scary or cool or even remotely intimidating. He even kidnaps Black Widow at one and then does jack poo poo with her. She exists just to have her rear end saved by the Hulk.
Also Jeremy Renner was whatever. I don't care about him. He's not even cool and he doesn't even come with a tragic dimension to his character other than the fact that his kids can't play their Xboxes online because they're constantly in hiding.
Vision was cool.
Anyway Avengers 2 is lukewarm piss and probably a herald of things to come in terms of any Disney movie directed by Joss Whedon. I'm glad I got to see it for free.
how loving retarded do you have to be to write a wall this huge of words whining about a comic book movie about supernatural heroes fighting a genius robot
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May 26, 2015 01:22
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Apr 29, 2024 09:33
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May 25, 2015 14:27
