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Flavor Truck
Nov 5, 2007

My Love for You is like a Truck
I mean I can't really think of a better way to ignore my wife while she's driving than by rapidly hacking and linking portals every time we pass a loving graveyard. By the way, I'm the king of the biggest tombstone in the field just west of the highway. Suck ittt

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Glasgow Kiss
Dec 12, 2007

Oh, put that thing away, Samurai. We all know what's going to happen. You'll swing your sword, I'll fly away, and probably say something like, "I'll be back, Samurai!" And then I'll flutter over the horizon and we probably won't see each for... about a week. And then we'll do the same thing again.
have fun calibrating the illuminatis death satellite array

Sorryformybadjokes
Apr 21, 2004

I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.
Fallen Rib
I lost my life partner to this horrible disease

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler
This guy I work with does it and will launch off into this incomprehensible Ingres-speak at the drop of a hat. We'll be walking to the cafeteria for lunch and talking about the roast beef and then he starts off on portals and gems and poo poo. It's really confusing and I don't advise non-autistic people to do it.

Sorryformybadjokes
Apr 21, 2004

I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.
Fallen Rib
Ingress has TWO 'S's'
hth

Zeno-25
Dec 5, 2009

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Wait i thought augmented reality was supposed to be useful, not some spergy game

No wonder that app (came with my phone) seemed so weird and lovely

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Haha WHOA

Vulture Culture
Jul 14, 2003

I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.
it's super-dated but at least postgres is pretty good

Flavor Truck
Nov 5, 2007

My Love for You is like a Truck
I went to the mall yesterday and started dropping cyber bombs on an enemy portal, represented by a wooden pig statue outside of the Cracker Barrel named "Porky" - While I was doing this I noticed a taller asian man following about one step behind me. I could tell he was staring at what I was doing on my phone. I slowed down a little bit and he slowed with me, so I turned and put my back to the wall and as he walked past I saw that he was running the app as well.

My wife got super pissed and told me that if I'm going to have to worry about weirdos slapping my phone out of my hand to protect their fake portals then she doesn't want me playing it anymore. :smith:

I'm still playin' tho :smug:

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
you mentioned a wife? whats his name?

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
idgi what is ingress?

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
all my friends were super into that for a bit a year or so ago

they always told me to do it and I kind of would be all like 'yeah sure totally!' then I wouldn't

now they are all over it. Good.

CrashCat
Jan 10, 2003

another shit post


Jeff Sichoe posted:

Ingress has TWO 'S's'
hth
there's an Ingres with one S and it's even worse

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ingres_%28database%29

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

you let your wife drive? ok...

Beef Turret
Jul 9, 2009

by Lowtax

Nooner posted:

idgi what is ingress?

Lucky Guy
Jan 24, 2013

TY for no bm

i forget which color i am but i hate that other color so loving much

Otto von Ruthless
Oct 1, 2014

Lucky Guy posted:

i forget which color i am but i hate that other color so loving much

the human condition

Han Solomon
Mar 7, 2015

BOUND
AND
GAGGED

Nooner posted:

idgi what is ingress?

think capture the flag combined with google maps

Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





Anyone who plays Ingress is p much an unpaid Google employee.

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:

ButteCysts posted:

think capture the flag combined with google maps

that sounds kinda fun how do you play?

Han Solomon
Mar 7, 2015

BOUND
AND
GAGGED

Nooner posted:

that sounds kinda fun how do you play?

p sure its invite only or something. you walk around with your phone and capture nodes using a map and stuff

CrashCat
Jan 10, 2003

another shit post


Nooner posted:

that sounds kinda fun how do you play?

it's right on google play just type it in

it requires actually running around to places for your gps though so not much good unless you want to waste gas, hike a lot or you are traveling for a living

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3
Nov 15, 2003
i imagine gangstas driving around, generating value by running drugs and doing drive-bys and poo poo, supporting a multi-billion dollar industry

hearing about yuppies driving around for no-money fake bullshit and being just... y'know... :wtf:

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Nooner posted:

that sounds kinda fun how do you play?

imagine spending gas and $$$ to get somewhere then hiking around a bit to capture a portal and then waking up the next day and some sperglord has already captured it back

forever

CrashCat
Jan 10, 2003

another shit post


there were a bunch of these 'play by gps' games that sprung up back some years ago and then died just as fast, i have no idea why stupid Ingress caught on. at least one of them just gave up and let you warp around the map so they became just grindy rpgs with a really weird map instead of anything to do with gps

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
stupid game

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013

by Lowtax
geocache my balls.

Flavor Truck
Nov 5, 2007

My Love for You is like a Truck
Except this one has silly little items you get to use to blow up other people's poo poo and stuff. Yeah. Also, my wife's name is Bruce and I let her drive.

Papercut
Aug 24, 2005

The quickest substitution in the history of the NBA
My unemployed friend who has a 5-month-old baby apparently goes out every night, after his wife gets home from work, to play Ingress. He's been on unemployment for 9 months and has no interest in finding a job because he's too busy playing Ingress and destroying his family and his wife & daughter's lives.

Seems like a cool game, maybe I'll give it a shot.

freelop
Apr 28, 2013

Where we're going, we won't need fries to see



Ingress is neat for drawing your attention to little details around town you might have missed otherwise and makes bus rides more interesting.
People who walk around with their phones out constantly are divis whether they are playing a game or texting constantly.

Flavor Truck
Nov 5, 2007

My Love for You is like a Truck

Did you mean dicks? :confused:

WhyteRyce
Dec 30, 2001

Some green jerks tried attacking a bunch of blue portals at my work as part of a mission. My and my co-workers turned them away. Nothing more excited than leaning against a wall in a hallway for 30 minutes pressing buttons over and over again

cram me sideways
Apr 26, 2015
tried it; it stinks!

but apparently there really are people out there who will scream at you for playing this and chase you and assault you but then again it's a bunch of goon anecdotes so who knows if it's real (i want it to be)

zooted heh
Oct 16, 2005

str8 mercin burgers my nigga
I played for like a month then got tired of people taking territory and not actually being there.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Analgress.

Vernii
Dec 7, 2006

There's a guy in my area who plays this game like 12 hours a day and is basically an unstoppable autistic terminator, and its gotten so demoralizing that my team is increasingly not giving a poo poo and just letting fields stay up because why bother?

Sperglord is even starting to range further and players in other towns are like "what the gently caress who is this guy".

cram me sideways
Apr 26, 2015
apparently when i bought my last phone it came with some super duper ingress item that only came with that phone and it pissed a bunch of these nerds off that they couldn't use it; apparently conferred some really unfair advantage

i used the item on the first point i tried to capture and it didn't work because some level 99999999999 autist had captured it before me and i was out of energy or whatever so don't worry "Ingressers" motorola didn't sell me a win button for your dumb game

Vernii posted:

There's a guy in my area who plays this game like 12 hours a day and is basically an unstoppable autistic terminator, and its gotten so demoralizing that my team is increasingly not giving a poo poo and just letting fields stay up because why bother?

Sperglord is even starting to range further and players in other towns are like "what the gently caress who is this guy".

gotta admit something like this would be a really inexpensive babysitter if you've got a 40 year old ocd sperglord downskid

Soup du Journey
Mar 20, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Papercut posted:

My unemployed friend who has a 5-month-old baby apparently goes out every night, after his wife gets home from work, to play Ingress. He's been on unemployment for 9 months and has no interest in finding a job because he's too busy playing Ingress and destroying his family and his wife & daughter's lives.

Seems like a cool game, maybe I'll give it a shot.
gently caress your friends family they're just holding him back

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:

Moridin920 posted:

imagine spending gas and $$$ to get somewhere then hiking around a bit to capture a portal and then waking up the next day and some sperglord has already captured it back

forever

oh, that sounds ... like more than I am willing to get on board with haha

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zooted heh
Oct 16, 2005

str8 mercin burgers my nigga
Just download one of the apps that let you project your phone to any address on your GPS and get nerds real mad that their statue is being captured at 3am in the morning in a no trespassing zone.

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