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Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:

opus111 posted:

until they get blatter this is boring.

What is blatter opus111 I know what a bladder is tho that's what holds my pee till I piss it out my monster dong (jk I'm pretty average I think and that's fine)

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ROFLburger
Jan 12, 2006
actually nevermind

Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 2 years!

ROFLburger posted:

can someone explain to a stupid rear end in a top hat (me) why FIFA would care what the DoJ does?

lol because their top officials are probably getting extradited to america to face charges

ROFLburger
Jan 12, 2006
yeah i just dont get how the DoJ has jurisdiction over international sports organization

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

ROFLburger posted:

yeah i just dont get how the DoJ has jurisdiction over international sports organization

they can extradite if any bribes or corruption or whatnot happened with american banks or organizations

Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 2 years!

ROFLburger posted:

yeah i just dont get how the DoJ has jurisdiction over international sports organization

it is pretty surprising that america has international power among allies yes

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

now we can extradite all the international tax dodgers

right

right??

ROFLburger
Jan 12, 2006
oh thanks taco bell, america has jurisdiction over them because america has friends. thanks it is crystal clear now

ROFLburger
Jan 12, 2006

TEAYCHES posted:

they can extradite if any bribes or corruption or whatnot happened with american banks or organizations

ty

opus111
Jul 6, 2014

Nooner posted:

What is blatter opus111 I know what a bladder is tho that's what holds my pee till I piss it out my monster dong (jk I'm pretty average I think and that's fine)

literally the most corrupt person on earth, if that doesn't do it for you he's also fat, white and cis. oh and a boomer.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

TEAYCHES posted:

now we can extradite all the international tax dodgers

right

right??

send a letter full of pretty pleases to Loretta Lynch and hope for the best

Ovo
Dec 20, 2008

Life Rules

ROFLburger posted:

yeah i just dont get how the DoJ has jurisdiction over international sports organization

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alien_Tort_Statute

if they used american bank or pretty much anything american at all they can use this.

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


TEAYCHES posted:

now we can extradite all the international tax dodgers

right

right??

obama would be impeached so fast

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Fetus Tree posted:

id say that would only add value

Indian ghosts would be annoying, they would always haggle for lower prices or complain about poor service in restraurants.

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:

etalian posted:

Indian ghosts would be annoying, they would always haggle for lower prices or complain about poor service in restraurants.

Oh, I thought the opposite, was down to trade them hella beads for some nice property in the after life

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



i'm rock hard for rich death

Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 2 years!

Nooner posted:

Oh, I thought the opposite, was down to trade them hella beads for some nice property in the after life

why do you never know dot or feather

Dr. Fraiser Chain
May 18, 2004

Redlining my shit posting machine


Yeah no one is going to bat for blatter and his cronies.

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

The John Oliver roast of FIFA owned

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Goodpancakes posted:

Yeah no one is going to bat for blatter and his cronies.

it'll be interesting to see who the republicans hate more: Loretta Lynch or Eurotrash soccer millionaires

Space Jam
Jul 22, 2008

lol gently caress you and your dumb sport, europe

Dr. Faustus
Feb 18, 2001

Grimey Drawer
Would ISIL use futbols or would they kick around the severed heads of infidels?

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Gorman Thomas posted:

how soon until obama dronestrikes blatter and the rest of the fifa congress
It's a foreign intervention that would win Obama a second Nobel Peace Prize.

DoctorStrangelove
Jun 7, 2012

IT WOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT MEIN FUHRER!

Feel the wrath of the USA.

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



it owns to not care about soccer in this country

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Dr. Faustus posted:

Would ISIL use futbols or would they kick around the severed heads of infidels?

soccer is also much more boring than a cage building contest

TacticalUrbanHomo
Aug 17, 2011

by Lowtax

Dr. Faustus posted:

Would ISIL use futbols or would they kick around the severed heads of infidels?

most people executed by ISIS are Muslims so I reckon they have a better supply of Muslim heads

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



its gonna own watching foreign rich people scream and moan for help but their governments will do dick because the US is a country built on blood and skulls and is the only thing keeping europe from not being annex by russia/isis

Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 2 years!
i assume USA is primarily trying to take down FIFA so that we can increase the popularity if MLS and other american sports organizations

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



the punishment for fifa is to drop them in qatar worker camps so they can become part of their death coliseum

MUSCULAR BEAVER
Dec 26, 2014

HENDO! HENDO!
america is the best country in the world

can't play soccer? launch an all out tactical assault on it instead

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
ahahahahaha they planned out various bribes and other financial crimes on US soil and used US banks for moving the money

https://www.bj.admin.ch/bj/en/home/aktuell/news/2015/2015-27-05.html posted:

By order of the Federal Office of Justice (FOJ), six soccer officials were arrested in Zurich today (Wednesday) and detained pending extradition. The US authorities suspect them of having received bribes totaling in the USD millions.

The six soccer functionaries were arrested today in Zurich by the Zurich Cantonal Police . The FOJ’s arrest warrants were issued further to a request by the US authorities. The US Attorney’s Office for the Eastern District of New York is investigating these individuals on suspicion of the acceptance of bribes and kick-backs between the early 1990s and the present day. The bribery suspects – representatives of sports media and sports promotion firms – are alleged to have been involved in schemes to make payments to the soccer functionaries – delegates of FIFA (Fédération Internationale de Football Association) and other functionaries of FIFA sub-organizations – totaling more than USD 100 million. In return, it is believed that they received media, marketing, and sponsorship rights in connection with soccer tournaments in Latin America. According to the US request, these crimes were agreed and prepared in the US, and payments were carried out via US banks.

Way to find the one way to get :911: to care about soccer you assholes

eSports Chaebol
Feb 22, 2005

Yeah, actually, gamers in the house forever,
this is p serious I mean the Swiss won't extradite you to America if you drugged and anally raped a 13 year old so whatever soccer mans did must be worse

Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 2 years!

eSports Chaebol posted:

this is p serious I mean the Swiss won't extradite you to America if you drugged and anally raped a 13 year old so whatever soccer mans did must be worse

it involved money, so yes

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Fetus Tree posted:

it involved money, so yes

they also broke the unspoken rule that only Americans are allowed to commit nine-figure+ fraud in America

School Nickname
Apr 23, 2010

*fffffff-fffaaaaaaarrrtt*
:ussr:

eSports Chaebol posted:

this is p serious I mean the Swiss won't extradite you to America if you drugged and anally raped a 13 year old so whatever soccer mans did must be worse

in this case they hosed a former potus and he didn't like it one bit

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

indict the international olympic committee next

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

TEAYCHES posted:

indict the international olympic committee next

Helical Nightmares
Apr 30, 2009

MUSCULAR BEAVER posted:

america is the best country in the world

can't play soccer? launch an all out tactical assault on it instead

This really is hilarious.

Remember all the whining about how "the world Europe hated America under George W Bush and Obama will fix that"?

Welp.

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eSports Chaebol
Feb 22, 2005

Yeah, actually, gamers in the house forever,

TEAYCHES posted:

indict the international olympic committee next

uh are you implying anything untoward happened under Mitt Romneys watch you pinko

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