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TidyHole
Apr 23, 2015
Jason Vorhees more like Jason Vorplease do something loving interesting. All the motherfucker does is grab people from behind and stab them in the neck that is just about every kill.

I've watched Friday the 13th parts 1-4 and am amazed by how goddamn boring it is to watch Jason kill these vapid interchangeable teens. I'm still planning to watch through a few more to see if ridiculous poo poo ever actually happens in these movies but it's astounding how I'm either so desensitized to violence or just how plodding the pacing of these movies are to modern day eyes that I don't really care too much when Jason shoves a knife through someone's throat while they're lying on a bed for the umpteenth time. When do I get to the good stuff of Jason smashing people to death in sleeping bags because that's what I paid money for.

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Cyberball 2072
Feb 17, 2014

by Lowtax
The pacing of films really changed in the 90s. I think the original Texas Chainsaw is a very effective horror film. Most people I talk to that didn't grow up with films from the 70's and 80's found it too boring to watch to finish.

I also think society got collective a.d.d. about 15-20 years ago, I saw mad max 2 weeks ago and there's like 30-45 seconds of silence after a big action sequence and you could feel the theater full of adult babies hoping some keys got jingled real fast cause God forbid there's two minutes in a film where poo poo isn't 3d flying at your face all extreme and poo poo.

Cyberball 2072 fucked around with this message at 07:50 on May 27, 2015

TidyHole
Apr 23, 2015
I haven't seen the original TCM, but a movie similar to it and I would think the first Friday, Halloween, still seems incredible. There's this sense of tensity and fear that still works in the original Halloween whereas the original Fridays to me just come off as plodding and boring.

Dead Precedents
May 5, 2005

Precedents come and go, but death goes on forever.

Cyberball 2072
Feb 17, 2014

by Lowtax
After a few minutes of thought despite everything I typed up, you aren't wrong OP, most of the Friday 13 movies are boring slasher fad cash-ins. I don't think anyone holds up those first few for merits other than "launched an iconic series"

Cyberball 2072 fucked around with this message at 08:56 on May 27, 2015

Gene Hackman Fan
Dec 27, 2002

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
but jason didn't even kill anybody in first one. :confuoot:

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

What I love most about Friday the 13th is that it's such a grab-bag of iconography without a truly great movie to its name.

I had a dude who unironically tried to convince me that The Final Friday was somehow some unsung piece of great cinema. Dude had bad taste.

Dead Precedents
May 5, 2005

Precedents come and go, but death goes on forever.

mind the walrus posted:

What I love most about Friday the 13th is that it's such a grab-bag of iconography without a truly great movie to its name.

I had a dude who unironically tried to convince me that The Final Friday was somehow some unsung piece of great cinema. Dude had bad taste.

Part 4 was probably the best of the series. It's pure slasher schlock and I love the gently caress out of it. It's not a great cinema, though. That guy was a retard.

doctor 7
Oct 10, 2003

In the grim darkness of the future there is only Oakley.


Jason X is unironically my favourite Friday the 13th movie and I genuinely consider it a good film because it is a piss-taking satire of it's own series.

fist4jesus
Nov 24, 2002

doctor 7 posted:

Jason X is unironically my favourite Friday the 13th movie and I genuinely consider it a good film because it is a piss-taking satire of it's own series.

Many good tits were seen in the dark of space.

Dead Precedents
May 5, 2005

Precedents come and go, but death goes on forever.

doctor 7 posted:

Jason X is unironically my favourite Friday the 13th movie and I genuinely consider it a good film because it is a piss-taking satire of it's own series.

Cyberball 2072
Feb 17, 2014

by Lowtax
Im more of a Jason Goes to Hell guy but I willingly admit I havent seen that film since I was a teen and my opinion of it may not hold up.

TidyHole
Apr 23, 2015
I like how Jason's design in Jason X looks like Lord Zedd made love to Krang's robo-body.

Dead Precedents
May 5, 2005

Precedents come and go, but death goes on forever.

Cyberball 2072 posted:

Im more of a Jason Goes to Hell guy but I willingly admit I havent seen that film since I was a teen and my opinion of it may not hold up.

It doesn't.



And we all know how well that went.

ROFLburger
Jan 12, 2006
one night when i was like 7, my friend and I watched jason and the puppet master. jason was chump poo poo but the puppet master ruined my life that poo poo was scary as hell. watching the trailer for it now gives me literal PTSD flashbacks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soyYhEDDzv4

TidyHole
Apr 23, 2015
The first Puppet Master legit rules. One of my favorite horror films and one of the few films worth a poo poo that Full Moon ever made.

Tolkien minority
Feb 14, 2012


its a shame that a legitimate classic like the original tcm is lumped in with the slasher craze of the 80s/90s. its closer to psycho than ft13th

burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp
Should have said, "Jason Voorhees? More like... Jason BORES ME!"

burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp
You blew it, OP.

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

Dead Precedents posted:

It doesn't.



And we all know how well that went.

I actually liked Freddy vs Jason because while it's really terrible it did deliver where it counted most, and wisely shunted Jason off to the background as more of a nuisance and let the Freddy stuff take center stage because face it there really isn't a whole lot to loving draw on in the Jason department.

Dead Precedents posted:

Part 4 was probably the best of the series. It's pure slasher schlock and I love the gently caress out of it. It's not a great cinema, though. That guy was a retard.

I thought the conceit of having the cops trap and shoot Jason at the beginning was wise and something the series should had done at like part 3, and expedite the supernatural aspects of the character, but the whole body-swapping thing was lame as fuuuuuuuuck.

Dead Precedents
May 5, 2005

Precedents come and go, but death goes on forever.

mind the walrus posted:

I thought the conceit of having the cops trap and shoot Jason at the beginning was wise and something the series should had done at like part 3, and expedite the supernatural aspects of the character, but the whole body-swapping thing was lame as fuuuuuuuuck.

Yep. Let's bring Jason back for the last 10 minutes and before that it's people eating hearts. The gently caress.

Rex Deckard
Jul 15, 2004

Dead Precedents posted:

Part 4 was probably the best of the series. It's pure slasher schlock and I love the gently caress out of it. It's not a great cinema, though. That guy was a retard.

Is that the one with wheelchair guy getting owned and Crispin Glover dancing? If so that is a good one.

MantisToboggan
Feb 1, 2013
To answer the OP's question: skip part 5, because the ridiculous stuff starts with part 6. Zombie Jason = best Jason.

Twitch
Apr 15, 2003

by Fluffdaddy
I have some nostalgia for Friday the 13th, but there are a ton of horror movies I'd rather watch first now that I'm not 12 and seeing boobs isn't a reason to watch a movie. 4 is awesome because it's pure camp.

Cyberball 2072 posted:

The pacing of films really changed in the 90s. I think the original Texas Chainsaw is a very effective horror film. Most people I talk to that didn't grow up with films from the 70's and 80's found it too boring to watch to finish.

I also think society got collective a.d.d. about 15-20 years ago, I saw mad max 2 weeks ago and there's like 30-45 seconds of silence after a big action sequence and you could feel the theater full of adult babies hoping some keys got jingled real fast cause God forbid there's two minutes in a film where poo poo isn't 3d flying at your face all extreme and poo poo.

I'm going to sort of disagree just on the grounds that a bad/mediocre horror film is a special kind of excruciating boredom. That said, anyone who says that about Texas Chainsaw Massacre is an idiot.

On your second point, I think you're projecting.

burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp
Three, four, and six are good. Nine is alright, just kind of a product of its time. X is bonkers.

Seven was kind of lousy if I remember right. Five and eight are basically the worst. One and two are like the classic ones so even though they're not that great they get a pass.

I dunno if they ever released three in its original 3D (red and blue glasses, not modern 3D) format but if they ever did as like a DVD feature or something, you should check it out. It's real hokey, though, like on the level where you'd swear it's a parody if you didn't know better.

Thunder Mug
Jul 11, 2008

They may kick our ass, but they will never kick Our Freedom!
Jason has the worst tunnel vision. in part VIII: Jason takes Manhattan he walks past ton of people who could kill, but doesn't because he's so focused on those 2 people who made it off the boat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUsLgArC48o

I love these stupid movies though. :)

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
i know ive seen several friday the 13ths but the only image in my mind of them that I retain is Jason facing off with a boxer and punching his head clean off

burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp
Six was probably the best of the series.

Zzulu posted:

i know ive seen several friday the 13ths but the only image in my mind of them that I retain is Jason facing off with a boxer and punching his head clean off

That's in eight and while eight was lousy (Jason Takes Manhattan more like Jason Spends Hours On A Boring rear end Boat and Ten Minutes in Manhattan), that scene, the scene where he slamdunks the old dude in the toxic waste barrel, and the ending in the sewer were definitely highlights.

burritolingus fucked around with this message at 11:16 on May 27, 2015

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012

op is right

op is tight

burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp

B.H. Facials
May 9, 2011

"Getting teased is part of growing up. It's no big deal. Just tell yourself, 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a .44 Magnum will tear that bully a new asshole!'"
Jason Lives is the best one.

pretty soft girl
Oct 1, 2004

my dead grandfather fights better than you
Five is hilarious and great and anyone who doesn't like it takes their murder movie canon too seriously

burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp

pretty soft girl posted:

Five is hilarious and great and anyone who doesn't like it takes their murder movie canon too seriously

Really? It had a couple good kills, but I was always really bored while watching it.

pretty soft girl
Oct 1, 2004

my dead grandfather fights better than you
It has an amazing supporting cast that is far more memorable than the slobs most slasher give us. between fat goon chocoholic who gets axe murdered, weaselly mustached emt driver cokehead, goth girl dancing the robot, two backwoods rednecks hurling verbal abuse at each other, trailerpark leather jericurl guy singing on the toilet, and Tommy Jarvis kung fu master I barely even care that the killer is a boring sadsack

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
This thread made me want to see The Frighteners again.

iostream.h
Mar 14, 2006
I want your happy place to slap you as it flies by.

The best thing about the Friday the 13th series was either figuring out how to keep your parents from figuring out what you and your friends were planning on watching that weekend or actually managing to sneak a copy from someone without them knowing.

Dead Precedents
May 5, 2005

Precedents come and go, but death goes on forever.

Rex Deckard posted:

Is that the one with wheelchair guy getting owned and Crispin Glover dancing? If so that is a good one.

Ya god drat right he's dancing in it.




burritolingus posted:

I dunno if they ever released three in its original 3D (red and blue glasses, not modern 3D) format but if they ever did as like a DVD feature or something, you should check it out. It's real hokey, though, like on the level where you'd swear it's a parody if you didn't know better.



And it's awesome

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004

A peckish little mouse!

Came looking for this. Was not let down.

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004

A peckish little mouse!
Jason x also had
"Gonna take more than a poke in the ribs to take an old dog like me down."

-stab

"Yup, that'll do it."

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praxis
Aug 1, 2003

You stopped right before the best one, dipshit. Part V has retards, rednecks and a topless redhead.

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