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Jesus Christ
Jun 1, 2000

mods if you can make this my avatar I will gladly pay 10bux to the coffers
Seriously tell me 'cause I need to tell the internet why this game is cooler than a game that already exists for money

Jesus Christ fucked around with this message at 15:31 on May 27, 2015

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Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Poop

Mr. Creakle
Apr 27, 2007

Protecting your virginity



Wicker is resilient and light, and great for tropical room decor.

poo poo's expensive though

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
My favorite part of Witcher is the combat system. It's very innovative.
This is how I want to spend my life.

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3
Nov 15, 2003

quote:

Wickerwork is an important industry in Poland, employing hundreds of skilled workers to create goods for export to western Europe.[15]

the pole or the dole
May 21, 2009




gross monsters

Freaking Crumbum
Apr 17, 2003

Too fuck to drunk


wicker is more overt about the sexual overtones, so you don't have to go to the nexus forums and download your big titty honker mods

Otto von Ruthless
Oct 1, 2014
oh i get it, you typed the names of the games wrong

Prawned
Oct 25, 2010

Otto von Ruthless posted:

oh i get it, you typed the names of the games wrong

It shows that he is too cool and hip for video games.

unbuttonedclone
Dec 30, 2008
Big G has finishing moves like Mortal Kombat which Skyrim does not have.

TacticalUrbanHomo
Aug 17, 2011

by Lowtax
idk op maybe wicker 3 is a good game

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
In Witcher 3, you play as Alucard Van Hellsign, a vampire who hunts his own kind. Guide Alucard through nefarious traps, creepy castles, deadly dungeons and primeval jungles as you search for the fabled Goblet of Blood, an artifact of great power.
Along the way, you will face many deadly foes including an upside-down baby and a girl who looks hot at first but her face opens sideways and it's full of sharp teeth.
Are you up to the challenge?

penus penus penus
Nov 9, 2014

by piss__donald

Mad Pills posted:





gross monsters

fyi for those not in the know this is an aborted baby come to life that kills others pregnant mothers

AEMINAL
May 22, 2015

barf barf i am a dog, barf on your carpet, barf
witcher 3 has clunky rear end controls, so you'll light candles and poo poo instead of looting some sack, your horse is retarded, the micromanaging of items, oils, dick lotions is tedious, the magic system sucks, but hey it has lots of sex and boobies in it so i still play it

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
In Witcher Three, you can snap to cover and also "blindfire" which is an innovative gameplay mechanic.
If you come across an enemy with a scripted cutscene death, you can hold down a button to activate "bullet time."

spank my snatch
Jun 4, 2009

Applewhite posted:

In Witcher Three, you can snap to cover and also "blindfire" which is an innovative gameplay mechanic.
If you come across an enemy with a scripted cutscene death, you can hold down a button to activate "bullet time."

It's like a revolution in gaming

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

Spoilers: Witcher 3 will have two distinctly similar choices and a morally ambiguous third option at the end of the game.

Nanomashoes
Aug 18, 2012

It's pretty bullshit that iorveth and sasskia are not in the game at all after I spent all that time helping them in TW2.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Fun fact: the Sea Serpent boss at the end of the tower level is actually just a recolor of the sea serpent boss from Soul Revaer II: Legend of Sins with boobs added.

Nanomashoes
Aug 18, 2012

Nanomashoes posted:

It's pretty bullshit that iorveth and sasskia are not in the game at all after I spent all that time helping them in TW2.

Maybe this is better than sile having 2 lines then dying though.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Witchster III: Blood Reckoning DLC pack coming soon.
In Blood Reckoning, Alucard has to travel to feudal Japan, where he will encounter Kappas, Yurei and also those ghosts which are just flying torsos whose intestines act like tentacles.
Wander around an intricately detailed Japanese village. Certain paper doors can be punched through (indicated by an obvious color difference+shadow moving on other side). All vases are destroyable but none of them contain treasure.

ghlbtsk
Apr 19, 2005

these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS
it's all about the sunsets

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
The secret to defeating the swarming bats which attack nonstop during the level where you have to climb along a narrow ledge is to stop and kill each bat individually. If applied correctly, this technique allows players to complete the deadly ledge climb segment within three hours!

Han Solomon
Mar 7, 2015

BOUND
AND
GAGGED
go medium armor and sign spec and max igni out that shits op im killing monsters and doing contracts 10+ levels higher than me cause it burns for % health

just my 2c!

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Most of the time, low hedges act as an impassable barrier keeping Alucard on the trail, but in Sunderburg Village there is an upturned wheelbarrow that allows you to climb over the otherwise impenetrable fence of shrubs and reach a *SECRET AREA*. Reaching the secret area will earn you a "Secret Area Found" achievement.

SHISHKABOB
Nov 30, 2012

Fun Shoe
this poo poo is GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM™ #ad📢

The guy in Witcher has sex with beautiful big-titted ladies all the time and I play games to ESCAPE from reality, not continue my own life tyvm.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

oldpainless posted:

The guy in Witcher has sex with beautiful big-titted ladies all the time and I play games to ESCAPE from reality, not continue my own life tyvm.

Same reason I can't get into Sonic the Hedgehog.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

One of my couches permanently smells like pee because a girl squirted on it.
Anyway, that story is more fun than Skyrim or The Witcher.

naem
May 29, 2011

oldpainless posted:

The guy in Witcher has sex with beautiful big-titted ladies all the time and I play games to ESCAPE from reality, not continue my own life tyvm.

Same and also punching

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

you can make a weird looking fucker in skyrim and i dont think you can do that in wicker

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
I bought wicker haven't played it yet. Disappointed to hear I can't make some weird potato man like on Oblivion

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Kuato posted:

I bought wicker haven't played it yet. Disappointed to hear I can't make some weird potato man like on Oblivion

You stupid loving idiot!@!!!!

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord

JebanyPedal posted:

You stupid loving idiot!@!!!!

Wow, that's just mean, man. Mean. Mods??? :smith:

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Kuato posted:

Wow, that's just mean, man. Mean. Mods??? :smith:

Hahahahahahahahahahahahah

calusari
Apr 18, 2013

It's mechanical. Seems to come at regular intervals.
cd projekt can actually write an interesting narrative

EngineerSean
Feb 9, 2004

by zen death robot

Applewhite posted:

In Witcher 3, you play as Alucard Van Hellsign, a vampire who hunts his own kind. Guide Alucard through nefarious traps, creepy castles, deadly dungeons and primeval jungles as you search for the fabled Goblet of Blood, an artifact of great power.
Along the way, you will face many deadly foes including an upside-down baby and a girl who looks hot at first but her face opens sideways and it's full of sharp teeth.
Are you up to the challenge?

sounds like my jams yo

Son of Rodney
Feb 22, 2006

ohmygodohmygodohmygod

witcher 3 is great, you can buy your own appartment which you can decorate how you like

then you can look for a job for alucard (the main character) which will earn you money to buy stuff!

you also need to watch out for a couple of needs that alucard has, like peeing, food and sex with monsters, so its like really living in a medival world full of monsters, which is better than my disgusting life


its really cool and good

cram me sideways
Apr 26, 2015

calusari posted:

cd projekt can actually write an interesting narrative

mmmmm yeah baby give me 500 names of places, people and events that happened outside my pervue

tell me about how many millenia this war has been going on

what's that? legends say? and a prophecy? god drat girl you making me get out my moleskin just so i can keep up with all this

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super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

Geraldo Rivera is my favorite JRPG protagonist.

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