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Fusilli Jerry
Dec 13, 2013

ASSMAN
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/mich-woman-put-baby-desk-giving-birth-work-article-1.2198573

if anyone has read something more hosed up in the news lately lmk

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Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012



i saw a video of a chinese kid drowning while all his friends laughed

PsycArtist
Nov 12, 2011

SWAGGY
Last night I stumbled on a story of a Florida Pediatric Dentist doing unnecessary procedures to tiny children for medicare reimbursement. Combine dentists and children screaming, and its not a fun story.

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
Read about some guy getting killed by an atomic wedgie. It's all fun and games giving people wedgies until someone gets suffocated by their own underwear :(

Quirk
Oct 11, 2004

You might surprise yourself.
Amanda Beuno.

ghost host
Apr 17, 2010

ain't got no cash
ain't go no style
http://activate.metroactive.com/2015/05/the-normal-dudes-of-weird-twitter/

quote:

SomethingAwful was an early internet destination with content that smacks of the humor that Clickhole and The Onion now dominate. David Thorpe also contributed with a music column named “Your Band Sucks.”

“Back then, there wasn’t a ton of humor writing on the internet,” Thorpe says. “And, I’m not going to overstate it, but I think there’s no question (SomethingAwful.com) was somewhat influential. It’s also somewhat of its time.”

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002


holy lol pro click

Pox
Feb 16, 2015
Lol

Pox
Feb 16, 2015
And lol at the comments as well

Mooseykins
Aug 9, 2013

Triangle tits and an annoying sex voice?

Fuuuuck youuuuu sluuuut!
http://metro.co.uk/2015/05/21/gay-couple-heartbroken-to-find-out-theyre-half-brothers-on-the-jeremy-kyle-show-5208455/

:stare:

Stick Figure Mafia
Dec 11, 2004


loool

big black turnout
Jan 13, 2009



Fallen Rib

quote:

I’ve never stopped watching you, @fart. And I revel in this moment. Buzzfeed. “LOL”. “win”. “omg”. Is this what you wanted? Ensconcing yourself in irony for years, honing a style, leading a movement, only to emerge for.. Buzzfeed? You pal up with Fogelnest and cast off your ambition? Do you remember where you came from? @robdelaney, the visage and mascot of Weird Twitter, knows not the magic he plays with. Hamming it up for a rag like this is expected from him. He promotes himself reflexively. But you? Shame on me for expecting better.

While you parade around for reddit-tier Buzzfeed, I live life authentically on a dairy in Utah as an apprentice cheesemonger. I make the cheese. Do you know the discipline and precision required to make the cheese? Maybe. Once. When you understood what it meant to be discerning, what it meant to sweat. What it meant to be proud of what you do. To crave achievement. Now, though. “trashy”. “fail”. “wtf”. What happened?

Big ups to turd. and also Wolf Pupy for making the music video of Joey from Friends poking his head through the door, though I can't find it on YouTube at the moment. Would appreciate a link if someone can find it.

Verily I Shat
May 24, 2015

by Smythe
http://main.aol.com/2011/09/13/eel-swims-up-mans-penis_n_960865.html

jarjarbinksfan621
Mar 4, 2012

PsycArtist posted:

Last night I stumbled on a story of a Florida Pediatric Dentist doing unnecessary procedures to tiny children for medicare reimbursement. Combine dentists and children screaming, and its not a fun story.

i have often felt like this was happening at the dentist, get a real car salesman vibe from some of them.

PYROxSYCO
May 14, 2015
One of the most hosed up news articles I read was a man in Florida ran over a gaggle of baby ducks intentionally in front of a boy and mother with a lawnmower. He was arrested thankfully, but the boy was possibly scared by the incident. :saddowns:

The only part of the story that did not bother me was the fact it was in Florida.

ghost host
Apr 17, 2010

ain't got no cash
ain't go no style

PYROxSYCO posted:

One of the most hosed up news articles I read was a man in Florida ran over a gaggle of baby ducks intentionally in front of a boy and mother with a lawnmower. He was arrested thankfully, but the boy was possibly scared by the incident. :saddowns:

The only part of the story that did not bother me was the fact it was in Florida.

here, have some cosmic balance

http://www.ctvnews.ca/mobile/canada/father-daughter-killed-because-woman-stopped-car-to-help-ducks-prosecutor-alleges-1.1850997

quote:

A young woman who stopped her car on a Quebec highway to help some ducks cross the road is now on trial, accused of causing an accident that killed a father and his teenage daughter.

Haverchuck
May 6, 2005

the coolest
how about the lady that was found pushing her dead 3yo kid on a swing set at like 6:30 in the morning and she had been there all night

Absorbs Smaller Goons
Mar 16, 2006

That story is sad, and the woman is really stupid for having done that for some ducks, but the part about the guy on the motorcycle doing 80-85 on the highway is pure bullshit. Nobody does that, the average highway speed is 120 even though it's limited at 100 (it's tolerated by cops). Since he was on a motorcycle, he was probably doing even more than 120, and should probably have paid more attention to what was in front of him on the highway.

The woman who stopped is still a moron and should go to prison just for being that stupid though.

Nefarious
Sep 26, 2000

by XyloJW
apparently the president is black now?

Shasta Orange Soda
Apr 25, 2007

Haverchuck posted:

how about the lady that was found pushing her dead 3yo kid on a swing set at like 6:30 in the morning and she had been there all night

poo poo been haunting my brain since last week

jBrereton
May 30, 2013
Grimey Drawer
There's been a duck funeral in the West Country. Mental.

Verily I Shat
May 24, 2015

by Smythe

Nefarious posted:

apparently the president is black now?

But they still call it the White House?

thathonkey
Jul 17, 2012
one thing that comes to mind was this news story in the OSHA thread about some poor worker that got trapped inside of an industrial size tuna low-temp oven that slowly and agonizingly killed him. anything involving that much misery and suffering like a slow painful death like that will probably get to me.

Verily I Shat
May 24, 2015

by Smythe

thathonkey posted:

one thing that comes to mind was this news story in the OSHA thread about some poor worker that got trapped inside of an industrial size tuna low-temp oven that slowly and agonizingly killed him. anything involving that much misery and suffering like a slow painful death like that will probably get to me.

Animated reenactment begins at 0:19

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xu69H9HDCrQ

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005
College Slice

PYROxSYCO posted:

One of the most hosed up news articles I read was a man in Florida ran over a gaggle of baby ducks intentionally in front of a boy and mother with a lawnmower. He was arrested thankfully, but the boy was possibly scared by the incident. :saddowns:


lmao :thurman:

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

I'm gonna get a shovel because these forums are dead!

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
Some 15 year old just died from a brain aneurism she had while playing a softball game ):

Infinite Karma
Oct 23, 2004
Good as dead





jim jeffries facebook got hacked and the hacker posted a bunch of clickbait links with viruses.

ghost host
Apr 17, 2010

ain't got no cash
ain't go no style

Absorbs Smaller Goons posted:

That story is sad, and the woman is really stupid for having done that for some ducks, but the part about the guy on the motorcycle doing 80-85 on the highway is pure bullshit. Nobody does that, the average highway speed is 120 even though it's limited at 100 (it's tolerated by cops). Since he was on a motorcycle, he was probably doing even more than 120, and should probably have paid more attention to what was in front of him on the highway.

The woman who stopped is still a moron and should go to prison just for being that stupid though.

I think she's serving like 90 days on weekend conditions, but at her trial she didn't express any remorse. believed she did what she had to do to save those lil ducks and would do it again.

Alien Sex Manual
Dec 14, 2010

is not a sandwich

Haverchuck posted:

how about the lady that was found pushing her dead 3yo kid on a swing set at like 6:30 in the morning and she had been there all night

http://www.wusa9.com/story/news/local/maryland/2015/05/25/woman-pushes-dead-son-swing-maryland/27935891/

This happened like fifteen minutes from me. Obviously we don't know how the kid died but it sounds like mom had a psychotic break so I just feel bad about it all around. :(

PsycArtist posted:

Last night I stumbled on a story of a Florida Pediatric Dentist doing unnecessary procedures to tiny children for medicare reimbursement. Combine dentists and children screaming, and its not a fun story.

gently caress that guy, though. No pity or empathy for that fat, greedy motherfucker; apparently he made $4 million+ ripping healthy teeth out of kids and otherwise abusing them.

Kleen_TheRacistDog
Feb 17, 2014

Can't bust the Krust fuckman
www.skullmund.com
Cyberpunk 2077 won't come out until 2017 at the earliest, and I don't intend to live that long.

http://www.ign.com/articles/2015/05/27/cd-projekt-red-wont-talk-about-cyberpunk-2077-until-2017

Rivethead
Feb 22, 2008

mob burned 16 year old girl alive in Guatemala. :(

http://www.cnn.com/2015/05/27/americas/guatemala-girl-burned-mob/

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002


loving muslim savages

Sushi The Kid
Sep 10, 2005
<img src="https://forumimages.somethingawful.com/images/newbie.gif" border=0>


http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/05/28/man-calls-suicide-line-police-kill-him.html

"On Facebook, Jonas Carballosa, the second deputy involved in the Justin Way shooting, once posted the following quote: “Most people respect the badge. Everyone respects the gun.”

Same department in 2013

http://www.nytimes.com/projects/2013/two-gunshots/

rich white faglord
May 13, 2015

by Ralp
got what was coming to her

huskarl_marx
Oct 13, 2013

by zen death robot

quote:

SomethingAwful, which has broadened in scope as a meeting ground for anyone passionate about almost anything.

hell loving yeah i love something awful because i miss the old internet

if i had to do all my shitposting on goddamn twitter i would wanna die

huskarl_marx
Oct 13, 2013

by zen death robot
you know, more than already

Thunder Moose
Mar 7, 2015

S.J.C.
https://www.yahoo.com/food/surprise-winner-in-fast-food-hamburger-taste-test-120041277486.html

Bro Nerd Alpha
Aug 27, 2012

going on pussy patrol
A 4 year old kid died in a bus accident in my town yesterday. Kids dying seriously fucks with me. They are truly the innocent, they havent had time to grow up to be assholes yet.

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Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012

Frog Act posted:

i saw a video of a chinese kid drowning while all his friends laughed

chinese as gently caress

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