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This is Dueratas Murate: Basically, he's Google's Sir Jony Ives. After killing Palm, Google found him at a Starbucks where he was really angry that is soy latte wasn't made to his liking, so they hired him to somehow make Android not look like a mock operating system designed for a 90's TV show. Pictured here looking like a jackass in a jacket that I think is translucent. This is Sundar Pinchey:  He's basically in charge of like fourteen different non-compatible and overlapping products at Google. When Larry Page gets tired of something, he makes Sundar in charge of it. Typically he's found sitting at his desk at four AM drinking gin out of a dirty coffee mug hoping to die. Pictured here looking like a jackass as he ponders blowing his brains out because again Larry decided to moonshot something that has no chance of working and will cost them millions and he'll eventually be in charge of managing. This is Larry Page:  He founded Google with Mark Zukerberg (not pictured). He's pictured here looking like a jackass wearing google glass. He usually found in the passenger seat of a driverless car. That's a joke because Google is a corporation with no clear plan or direction and also he's working on some project with driverless cars, so when you almost get clipped by a car there'll be no one in the driver seat to give you the finger. This is Sergey Brin:  Pictured here also looking like a jackass wearing Google Glass. Remember when it costs $1200 dollars and you were all tripping over yourself to buy it? He lost his voice sexually harassing a female Google executive (that eventually left to found Yahoo). Now he only speaks in his beautiful moon voice once a year at Google I/O to tell us Google is doing great things and not just trying to data mine us to sell us adds for car insurance and cat food. Speaking of I/O, today is their once a year developer conference where we learn what new developments will be causing wake locks and killing battery lives in Android M (Malcolm McDowell). I hope you like screen shots of battery graphs! Look forward to seeing these fine captains of industry and others telling us how great their company is again!  Possible highlights of this years I/O:
Set your Google Watches to 9:30am PST/12:30pm EST for the keynote. EDIT: I/O Event link: https://events.google.com/io2015/ EDIT2: Removed all the jokes Super-NintendoUser fucked around with this message at 15:34 on May 28, 2015 |
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May 28, 2015 14:47
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Bring back Google Wave! Also, nice OP. I enjoyed the read.
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May 28, 2015 15:09
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teagone posted:Bring back Google Wave! Google Wave was a fantastic idea that no one had any idea what to do with. It was basically web2.0-email. Email needs to die die die, I hoped Wave would maybe give us another idea, but sadly it confused everyone since most people are idiots.
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May 28, 2015 15:12
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Nice OP. I probably won't watch the live stream. Is there a live stream? I'll probably just read someone's blog and/or just wait for the threads impressions
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May 28, 2015 15:17
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I don't see the need for a troll OP, but whatever. Google will be livestreaming, but there is no live link yet: https://events.google.com/io2015/
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May 28, 2015 15:28
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myron cope posted:Is there a live stream? The official site should have links to all of this once it gets started. I'm heading off to I/O Extended in London (at Google's startup incubator thing, Campus) soon, should be fun.
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May 28, 2015 15:29
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Rastor posted:I don't see the need for a troll OP, but whatever. I apologize for comedy on a comedy site?
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May 28, 2015 15:33
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SIR FAT JONY IVES posted:Google Wave was a fantastic idea that no one had any idea what to do with. It was basically web2.0-email. Email needs to die die die, I hoped Wave would maybe give us another idea, but sadly it confused everyone since most people are idiots. This is 100% truth. To be fair, Google didn't know how to sell Wave either but you're completely correct. It's pretty much the perfect object lesson for the follow through being the difference between success and failure.
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May 28, 2015 15:49
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I wonder if we'll get a Android M preview today? Too many people are on Android L already, I like my phone OS to be the 1%. Guess I could just get a blackberry.
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May 28, 2015 15:50
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Pro post OP. Voted 5. that loving shirt
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May 28, 2015 15:51
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SIR FAT JONY IVES posted:I apologize for comedy on a comedy site? You better be sorry for being funny. rear end in a top hat.
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May 28, 2015 15:55
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Maker Of Shoes posted:Pro post OP. Voted 5. Yeah, this
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May 28, 2015 15:56
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SIR FAT JONY IVES posted:
Hope the rumors are wrong and Nexus 4 gets Android M! Any chance they'll announce something hardware related that isn't a TV product?
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May 28, 2015 15:59
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Maker Of Shoes posted:Pro post OP. Voted 5. I really tried hard to find a pic of him with Google Glass, but I couldn't. Super-NintendoUser fucked around with this message at 16:03 on May 28, 2015 |
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May 28, 2015 16:01
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Rastor posted:I don't see the need for a troll OP, but whatever. This is the worst post ever made in IYG. You should be ashamed.
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May 28, 2015 16:02
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Is there any info on Android Pay, or was that a joke? Google Wallet is so poo poo, and I'm jealous of (the idea of) Apple Pay.
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May 28, 2015 16:08
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SIR FAT JONY IVES posted:EDIT2: Removed all the jokes Much better, thank you. I'm sorry, I just think it's important that posts in this forum be highly accurate so that we don't risk people being misinformed. This appears to be the link for the livestream: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V-fIGMDsmE Here are some liveblog links, for those who can't load the stream: The Verge Ars Technica Edit: Android Police Android Central Droid Life Rastor fucked around with this message at 16:42 on May 28, 2015 |
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May 28, 2015 16:12
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Rastor posted:Here are some liveblog links, for those who can't load the stream: which of these is the most tolerable and full of win
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May 28, 2015 16:17
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Tatsuta Age posted:which of these is the most tolerable and full of win They are listed roughly in order of how I would rank them. On the other hand, some people would consider The Verge to be the least tolerable. So you may need to just open them all and then close the crappy ones, sorry.
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May 28, 2015 16:19
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SIR FAT JONY IVES posted:Google Wave was a fantastic idea that no one had any idea what to do with. It was basically web2.0-email. Email needs to die die die, I hoped Wave would maybe give us another idea, but sadly it confused everyone since most people are idiots. Also they didn't know how to insert ads into it.
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May 28, 2015 16:22
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Tatsuta Age posted:which of these is the most tolerable and full of win Ars Technica is probably the safest bet, but one of the Android-specific ones probably will have more spergy information. I REALLY hope Google is able to implement Android Pay like Apple has with Apple Pay...I don't like using Google's current proxy card method for payments for anything expensive (too hard to dispute) and for anything cheap, my credit cards give 2-5% cash back, so still no point. If they can convince banks and hardware manufacturers to implement the secure NFC elements, though, I'm in.
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May 28, 2015 16:24
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Mogomra posted:Is there any info on Android Pay, or was that a joke? Google Wallet is so poo poo, and I'm jealous of (the idea of) Apple Pay. The Verge says they had placards around saying "Ask me about Android Pay" and when they asked they took the placards away. Images up on their liveblog.
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May 28, 2015 16:25
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The excitement is reaching fever pitch! I'll laugh if it's Macaron
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May 28, 2015 16:30
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Tatsuta Age posted:which of these is the most tolerable and full of win The only android specific site I bother with is Android Police, they actually have decent reporting: http://www.androidpolice.com/2015/05/28/google-io-2015-live-blog/
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May 28, 2015 16:40
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Rastor posted:This appears to be the link for the livestream: Now active.
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May 28, 2015 16:52
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And they're playing PONG.
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May 28, 2015 16:53
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This clock is readable as gently caress, bet we're gonna see some bold new innovations to Material Design here!
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May 28, 2015 16:54
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I want that I/O screen as a wallpaper 
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May 28, 2015 17:02
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vyst posted:I want that I/O screen as a wallpaper It's criminal that I can't have that as a live wallpaper. 
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May 28, 2015 17:10
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quote:A little badass. Beautiful. Tech and human. Work and love. ATAP.
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May 28, 2015 17:10
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Gotta admit, I really dig the unnecessarily giant gently caress off video wall.
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May 28, 2015 17:15
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Dude sucks rear end at pong
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May 28, 2015 17:17
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GET IT TOGETHER DAM
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May 28, 2015 17:19
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IuniusBrutus posted:Ars Technica is probably the safest bet, but one of the Android-specific ones probably will have more spergy information. From what they've said publicly so far, seems Android Pay will mostly be a rebrand of the Host Card Emulation & "Tap & Pay" settings screen which shipped in Kitkat, whereas Google Wallet will be one implementation which lives inside Android Pay. There's very little stopping Google Wallet from switching over to an implementation functionally identical to Apple Pay, since the later is really just a wrapper over the EMV Tokenization spec released March 2014. Keep in mind that the standard supports QR Codes, it has nothing to do with secure elements/lack there of. Apple waited for an actual industry standard to emerge and did the necessary market research, whereas Google just rushed in head first.
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May 28, 2015 17:21
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This is the event where they announce the Nexus 17 using some chips they found dumpster diving in in the Transmeta parking lot a decade ago, right?
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May 28, 2015 17:22
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I hope the special gift this year is a refurb Nexus 9 and a Nexus Q 2 and that's it.
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May 28, 2015 17:26
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Three Olives posted:This is the event where they announce the Nexus 17 using some chips they found dumpster diving in in the Transmeta parking lot a decade ago, right? No, the Android Wearable thread with the Moto361 is this way >
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May 28, 2015 17:26
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:itshappening:
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May 28, 2015 17:27
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People handin out fuckin snacks
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May 28, 2015 17:29
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Music game strong.
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May 28, 2015 17:29
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