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Q. What do you call an intelligent American? A. An atheist!
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# ? May 28, 2015 21:58 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2024 14:35 |
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What do u call an insufferable neckbeard who, after 40 miserable years on this earth, will burn in hellfire for an eternity? An atheist lol
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# ? May 28, 2015 22:03 |
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Whats the difference between an Atheist and a bucket of poo poo? The Bucket.
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# ? May 28, 2015 22:06 |
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we dont have an atheist statue!
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# ? May 28, 2015 22:12 |
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haha, your grandma is dead forever while mine's kicking it with her favorite gospel singers. later nerd.
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# ? May 28, 2015 22:16 |
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why did the atheist cross the road? to be run over by a bus and end up as nothing more than another measly statistic in this lovely journey called life. less than a mere smudge in the annals of history, remembered by a just a handful of equally unimportant people for a short time. at least the unknown soldier has a token candle lit for him and his brethren, that will also inevitably be snuffed out by a harsh, unforgiving planet. what did the atheist who crossed the road get? absolutely loving nothing. good night and don't forget to take your citalopram tomorrow morning to resist the urge to reach for that razor.
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# ? May 28, 2015 22:25 |
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Dick Dorkins, etc
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# ? May 28, 2015 22:26 |
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I read "Nihilist Arby's" and laugh with my friends but inside I'm secretly terrified of my own impending doom which Nihilist Arby's has reminded me of. Later, I eat Arby's.
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# ? May 28, 2015 22:29 |
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If you take the "nod" out of "ungodly" you get a description of the average athiest
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# ? May 28, 2015 22:34 |
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What do atheists cook with?
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# ? May 28, 2015 22:36 |
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Maniac Pahis posted:What do u call an insufferable neckbeard who, after 40 miserable years on this earth, will burn in hellfire for an eternity? Can you please market your god of fear,pain and revenge somewhere else? Odin out of a cartoon would fit better then that. edit I forget the joke: As the storm raged,the captain realised his ship was sinking fast.He called out,"Anyone here know hoe to pray?" [One man stepped forward] "Aye,captain,I know how to pray." "Good,"said the captain,"You pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets-we're one short." FunkyFlashman fucked around with this message at 23:15 on May 28, 2015 |
# ? May 28, 2015 22:38 |
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# ? May 28, 2015 22:39 |
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Atheists suffer from depression lol
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# ? May 28, 2015 22:40 |
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Q: How many atheists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. Smug in the knowledge that a new bulb will eventually evolve into the socket, euphoria ensues. In the dark.
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# ? May 28, 2015 23:29 |
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knock knock. whos there? god. nice try, god doesnt exist. darn, you got me.
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# ? May 28, 2015 23:35 |
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A Jew, a Catholic, and an Atheist are stranded on a desert island. The Jew says, "God is testing me." And to prove himself worthy, he spends all day building a shelter for the three of them. The Catholic says, "God is punishing me." And to repent for his sins, he spends all day gathering food to share with the other two. The Atheist says, "I'm gay." And then he cries all day and shits himself.
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# ? May 28, 2015 23:40 |
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How many gods does it take to not exist? ZERO! LOL
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# ? May 29, 2015 02:22 |
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how man richard dawkins does
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# ? May 29, 2015 02:25 |
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Blurry Gray Thing posted:A Jew, a Catholic, and an Atheist are stranded on a desert island. Title said jokes not real stories.
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# ? May 29, 2015 03:22 |
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So a moth goes into a priest's office. "Come in," says the priest, "What's the problem?" The moth drops down into the nearest chair and says "What's the problem? I don't even know where to start. First of all, my boss is a vicious tyrant who gets off on the petty torments he puts me through day in and day out, and I'm too spineless to stand up to him, so I just take it and I've gradually come to hate myself for it. Also, every morning I wake up to the same prune-face old crone to whom I pledged my vows so many years ago. I used to love her, but that love has become like some sun-festering beached whale trying to die. We lost our daughter last year to one of the bitterest, coldest winters we've ever had to face in this region. Isn't it funny, doc, how all the prayer circles and charity drives in the world amount to pretty much nothing in the face of that cold, impartial face of winter, that bleak, pounding, harsh fist of a callous environment, carrying on with its machinations without regard to our lives, loves, hopes and dreams? Isn't that hysterical, Father? Oh and then there's my son. Father, I don't love him anymore. I don't know what it is but I look in his eyes and I see that same harried look of gutless cowardice that I see when I stare at my own face in the mirror. If I wasn't such a coward, Father, I know I'd be able to scrape together enough pride to grab that cocked and loaded shotgun I keep by the bedside table, and just run amok and put an end to this grim facade once and for all. I start with the wife, then the boy of course before putting the barrell in my own mouth. Believe you me, Fathee, I'd be doing the world a favor. I have nothing to look forward to but a continuation of this spiraling black hole that is my life, this existential cesspool that is the perpetuation of my lingering skid-mark on society. I despise people yet I crave their approval. I'm judgemental yet I care about nothing. I'm bitter, hateful and afraid. I'm alive yet I feel like the walking dead. This is it, Father: I am a living, breathing, disease." The priesr stares at him for a while then finally says "Jeez, Moth, you definitely have some problems. But I'm a priest. You need a psychiatrist. Why'd you come in here?" The moth says,"Your light was on."
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# ? May 29, 2015 03:25 |
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god lol
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# ? May 29, 2015 03:48 |
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Knock knock. Who's there? Atheism. Atheism who? That's not funny.
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# ? May 29, 2015 03:53 |
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Q: How do piss off a person who takes a principled philosophical stand against the existence of deity? A: Call him/her an atheist. Q: Did you hear the joke about the atheist wh.. A: FUCKYOUDAD!
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# ? May 29, 2015 06:17 |
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q; I remember when we came to these conclusions without the internet, and there was no one to tell and you would only make a paraiah out of yourself by bringing it up your friends and family a] faggots 3wsza% hAIL SAGAN
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# ? May 29, 2015 06:20 |
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How can you tell if someone's an atheist? Euphoric.
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# ? May 29, 2015 06:47 |
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Maniac Pahis posted:What do u call an insufferable neckbeard who, after 40 miserable years on this earth, will burn in hellfire for an eternity? I love it when lurkers come out
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# ? May 29, 2015 07:20 |
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an atheist walks into a bar and murders everyone. he has no morals or ethics because he does not know Christ
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# ? May 29, 2015 07:27 |
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So a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar They're so stupid
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# ? May 29, 2015 07:28 |
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An Atheist walks into a bar... The bartender says "Why the long face?"
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# ? May 29, 2015 07:29 |
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amityville anus posted:The moth says,"Your light was on." Pivotal Lever fucked around with this message at 07:37 on May 29, 2015 |
# ? May 29, 2015 07:29 |
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Come armageddon. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jjXu-YTWtE
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# ? May 29, 2015 07:30 |
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Nothing sadder than a dead atheist All dressed up and nowhere to go
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# ? May 29, 2015 07:49 |
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q: how do you justify the existence of a benevolent all powerful creator in a world that is 99% sorrow? a: free will q: why aren't there a bunch of atheist jokes? a: theists are too stupid to make up jokes an atheist and a theist live their lives. the atheist does all he can to improve the world, the theist lives his life as a miserable sack of poo poo consuming and producing nothing because he knows his reward will be in the afterlife. they both die, there is no afterlife
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# ? May 29, 2015 11:58 |
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gnarlyhotep posted:I love it when lurkers come out Does ModView show post stats, or do you inspect the profile of all unfamiliar GBS posters?
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# ? May 29, 2015 12:15 |
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I used that depressing post about the unknown soldier and stuff as my latest facebook post. I hope I wake up to make comments on it. It will cheer me up more than the citalopram.
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# ? May 29, 2015 12:18 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuyY0gzrtqU
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# ? May 29, 2015 12:20 |
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an atheist walks into a bar rveryone else leave because their boring
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# ? May 29, 2015 12:20 |
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an atheist and a muslmi walk into a bar and it blows up and the Muslim goes to heaven
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# ? May 29, 2015 12:21 |
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The atheist walks into a bar, orders a drink, finishes it and leaves without speaking besides to order the drink. Why bother talking to anyone, we just rot anyway.
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# ? May 29, 2015 12:24 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2024 14:35 |
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knock knoch whos there? an atheist lmao gently caress off m8
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# ? May 29, 2015 12:24 |