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Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
lol http://www.mmafighting.com/2015/5/31/8662459/chris-weidman-on-meetup-with-floyd-mayweather-hes-money-for-sure

Chris Weidman posted:

I'm like ‘hey how are you doing man, I have a lot of respect for you.' He was like ‘aww, I made so far $125 million,' I was like, ‘wow I didn't even ask you about that, but that's awesome.' [Mayweather said] ‘I own a private line of planes, I own everything.' I'm like,' that's awesome, I didn't ask you, but that's great to hear. I wish I had all that stuff.'"

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Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

TheCool69 posted:

I got a press release that was hyping something about a

Las Vegas – UFC® executives will hold a media event on Wed., June 3 at 11 a.m. PT/2 p.m. ET to unveil the newly designed Athlete Health and Performance Program

oh is this about their rehab facility thing

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

Gregor Samsa posted:

will Ian McCall be present for the unveiling

it's the other kind of rehab where you sit in a drum circle with dave terrell and kick a japanese guy's rear end once every 6 years

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

Northjayhawk posted:

The UFC has partnered up with USADA to handle the new drug testing program. USADA will handle everything: the protocol, who, when, where, how often, etc. The UFC will have no say in it other than how many tests overall are done and paying for the tests.

There is literally no one in all of North America more qualified to handle drug testing than USADA.

edit: 2,750 tests per year. This averages out to 5.5 per year per athlete

i predict a lot of guys are going to start getting worse cardio

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
interesting that they're announcing they'll test for peptides, since that's an area where the drug tests are guaranteed to be a million years behind the cheaters

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

acejackson42 posted:

At least it's something, though. At least the USADA will have a better idea of what to look for, in theory.

The thing with peptides is that bodybuilders are willing to try them out basically as soon as they know it won't kill them within 3 days. Guys are using drugs years before they're even approved for human use (if that ever happens) so developing a test is waaaaaaay out of the picture. Which is fine in the olympics if you're gonna freeze stuff forever and have an incentive to stomp on a guy's career years after the fact, but it'll never happen here. It's a really weird and fascinating area of sports and nutrition science, the bodybuilders are really hosed up.

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

colonel_korn posted:

uh, what? 189 is pretty stacked from top to bottom.

phil davis is stacked top to bottom too and he almost always sucks poo poo to watch...

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
rockhold/weidman is an insanely badass fight, i'm glad they pulled the trigger even if it's bad for jacare

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
here's an article about blood doping that shows how easy it is, how effective it is, and passes the tests http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-32983932

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
does anyone have keven's funny Batroc the Leaper post where he's all All credit to Captain America

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
All I Want For Christmas Is You To Retire

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
how did a charismatic athlete get married. how.

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

Fozzy The Bear posted:

"I didn't want to be like "thank you Jesus..blah blah" no one listens to that"

legalise trt and let's get big ben in a cage with vitor to determine once and for all whether god exists

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

Keven. Just. Keven posted:

Where is God? Where is God? God is dead and the Reebok corporation has killed him.

what if they don't let him put jesus on his shorts...

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

The Duck of Death posted:

Magny vs Maia at UFC 190

good luck to the good man, Neil Magny

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
Cain is going to lose to Werdum because the alternative is that the ultimate goal of the heavyweight division is a shot-for-shot remake of the second bigfoot fight with the lead role being played by a different lovely fat guy every 6 months

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
when he emerges from his excuse cocoon he's gonna deliver an all time great

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

CommonShore posted:

As a Brandon native, I can confirm that the "stone age" ER of Brock's first diverticulitus attack was Brandon General. I know someone who is a supervising nurse in the ER. Their side of the story is that he and his wife came in, tried to bypass triage, barked a bunch of orders to the staff, and then stormed out when the nurses were like "we'll examine you when it's your turn, and then the doctor will examine you and we'll go by his diagnosis..."

He must have actually managed to bypass triage then because he saw a doctor who diagnosed him with diverticulitis but demanded an unnecessary CT scan, and when they said no his wife drove him across the border, where they diagnosed him with diverticulitis, saving his life somehow

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Bubba McDaniel is allowed to eat ice cream for dinner and stay up past midnight


High Chair, The Kitchen - It's bullshit that mom tries to feed Bubba McDaniel vegetables, mashed up rice, and other poo poo like that even though Bubba McDaniel is a TUF and UFC veteran. Bubba McDaniel can beat the poo poo out of the small plastic tray thing that the food goes on to at the front of this chair, and does so frequently in protest at all this garbage she pretends is a choo choo train, or even an airplane.

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
i know his voice sounds deeper because he was in the corner yelling, but wouldn't it be sweet if a diaz would just do the right thing and take a lot of steroids

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

Bluedeanie posted:

The real question is, do we enforce this TOXX or not

Absolutely. 100%.

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
I will not rest until you are chomping on your own hard pecker and Eddie Alvarez is graciously retweeting it in awe of the dedication of his loyal fans. It's time to suck on that classic boner-style hardon, bitch.

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

Detroit_Dogg posted:

I might have a pretty bad case of Hendo-back but I don't think most people can do that

heart and mind overcome all

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
oh yeah? try telling matt serra that

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
I am slumped on my stool in the corner, head sort of near my crotch, but for the purposes of sucking my own dick it is worlds away. My cornerman is aggressively slapping me, yelling and screaming to try and inspire me, to try and keep me in this thing. "Do you want this?" For the first time in my professional career, I'm not sure that I do. Across the cage my foe B.J Penn refuses to take the stool. He is stood, doubled over, sucking his own dick, staring at me for the entire round break. I can see in his eyes and his mouth that he knows he's beaten me already.

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

Keven. Just. Keven posted:

Kimbo V. Huston round break gif but they heads keep drooping

hahahahaha

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
AUTOTUNE VOICE: It's amazing, I'm the reason, my own dick is in my mouth this evening

FRANK MIR:

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
Bruce Buffer unveils the Buffer 180 to signify that it's time to suck your own penis

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

POTATO IN MY ANUS posted:

great, I'm the 'suck my own dick' guy now.

lllllllet's get ready to suck it

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
there shall be no peace on this web site until that guy is getting hosed by one eyed eddie a second time

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

POTATO IN MY ANUS posted:

23 year old man. just tried (unsuccessfully) to suck my own dick.

I think I need a break from the internet.

I believe in you, POTATO IN MY ANUS

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

david carmichael posted:

who is the head coach at kings because "Rafael Cordeiro: strategic genius" seems about as likely as "andre dida: master gameplanner" from a few years ago

chute boxe produced the greatest fighting minds of a generation and then got them all insanely damaged

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
ninja rua, astrophysicist and aeronautical engineer, now pumps gas and gets irrationally upset when people ask him for directions

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
On the horrible, unending reality tv show about celebrities' kids that my wife absolutely will not stop watching they referred to Akiyama's most recent fight as his retirement fight. If he doesn't turn up on the Seoul card then I'd say he's roidtired.

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

tesilential posted:

Werdum literally predicted that he would beat Cain due to him not being prepared for the altitude and said as much after the fight.

he said it before the fight too and basically said how it was going to go down

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NC1qHPYnHc8&t=30s

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
heavyweight's gonna be a real horror show if Werdum can defend the belt a few times and you have to get by either Cain or JDS to get a title shot

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
I hope when Siver depressingly retires Kawajiri he doesn't damage his eyes and that he has some kind of financial interest in a gym or something so he doesn't have to get beat up by increasingly lovely guys in DEEP or wherever until he's 60 years old

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

fatherdog posted:

Considering Kawajiri's response to Aoki destroying his foot was to join a professional wheelchair basketball league for like a year, if Siver blinded him he'd probably become Zatoichi or some poo poo

I just hope he doesn't end up like Gono, in a long distance relationship with Andrei Benkei so he can fight teenagers for pennies in regional Brazilian shows

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

fatherdog posted:

:siren: :siren: :siren:

[url=https://twitter.com/arielhelwani/status/611656917262405632]


:siren: :siren: :siren:

no, no, yes

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Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
Two Guys and a Pizza Place

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