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Sweaty IT Nerd
Jul 13, 2007


The truth of the matter is that long hair’s almost universally attractive to men, when they’re actually speaking honestly (without trying to appease women in the room). Furthermore, it’s a symbol of youth, femininity, and health. Why can’t old women grow long hair? Because it’s an ephemeral trait of your fertile years. Women instinctively know this, which is why every American girl who cuts, and keeps, her hair short often does it for ulterior reasons. Short hair is a political statement. And, invariably, a girl who has gone through with a short cut—and is pleased with the changes in her reception—is damaged in some significant way. Short hair is a near-guarantee that a girl will be more abrasive, more masculine, and more deranged.

I’d developed that belief on years of platonic interactions alone. The bitchiest work colleagues, the most difficult cashier, the most confrontational, aggressive cunts in bars have all shared one trait—short-rear end hair. But it wasn’t until I decided to make exceptions to my no-dating-short-haired-girls rule that I proved this beyond any doubt. The first pixie-cut girl I went out with—who was otherwise attractive—harbored twisted rape fantasies that actually concerned me that I was being entrapped. She cavalierly talked about filthy sex, throwing around the word “pussy” and “cock” even when our clothes were on. When—during a rather vanilla conversation about men and women—I made some tame remarks about what men find attractive in women, she broke down into inconsolable bawling and, literally, ran out of the bar we were in. It made about as much sense as crying if I’d just told you tomorrow was Saturday.

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FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams

The Sphinxster posted:

The truth of the matter is that long hair’s almost universally attractive to men, when they’re actually speaking honestly (without trying to appease women in the room). Furthermore, it’s a symbol of youth, femininity, and health. Why can’t old women grow long hair? Because it’s an ephemeral trait of your fertile years. Women instinctively know this, which is why every American girl who cuts, and keeps, her hair short often does it for ulterior reasons. Short hair is a political statement. And, invariably, a girl who has gone through with a short cut—and is pleased with the changes in her reception—is damaged in some significant way. Short hair is a near-guarantee that a girl will be more abrasive, more masculine, and more deranged.

I’d developed that belief on years of platonic interactions alone. The bitchiest work colleagues, the most difficult cashier, the most confrontational, aggressive cunts in bars have all shared one trait—short-rear end hair. But it wasn’t until I decided to make exceptions to my no-dating-short-haired-girls rule that I proved this beyond any doubt. The first pixie-cut girl I went out with—who was otherwise attractive—harbored twisted rape fantasies that actually concerned me that I was being entrapped. She cavalierly talked about filthy sex, throwing around the word “pussy” and “cock” even when our clothes were on. When—during a rather vanilla conversation about men and women—I made some tame remarks about what men find attractive in women, she broke down into inconsolable bawling and, literally, ran out of the bar we were in. It made about as much sense as crying if I’d just told you tomorrow was Saturday.

And gently caress those cancer having bitches!!

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010
Is preference for women with long hair a cultural thing ? Seems like almost every human society had women with long hair

boom boom boom
Jun 28, 2012

by Shine

Mad Monk posted:

And gently caress those cancer having bitches!!

Be fair, people undergoing chemotherapy usually aren't at their most attractive even without the hair loss

Knight
Dec 23, 2000

SPACE-A-HOLIC
Taco Defender

The Sphinxster posted:

She cavalierly talked about filthy sex, throwing around the word “pussy” and “cock” even when our clothes were on.
LOL, I missed that the first time. Principal Skinner's having a hard time dating

penus penus penus
Nov 9, 2014

by piss__donald
short hair can look real good

Sweaty IT Nerd
Jul 13, 2007

Knight posted:

LOL, I missed that the first time. Principal Skinner's having a hard time dating

I think old women can grow long hair too. This thing stinks to high heaven.

ghlbtsk
Apr 19, 2005

these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS

DonJNavarro posted:

Conversely, men with long hair or long beards are damaged

I.C.
Jun 10, 2008

What if she wears a wig and it's long but underneath it's short hair -- what then???

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot

I.C. posted:

What if she wears a wig and it's long but underneath it's short hair -- what then???

but underneath that is a skeleton

hosed up when you think about it

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

posting a pic of ted nugent proves his point

Beige
Sep 13, 2004

I.C. posted:

What if she wears a wig and it's long but underneath it's short hair -- what then???

This is really messing with my head.

Loden Taylor
Aug 11, 2003

ANIME IS BLOOD posted:

but underneath that is a skeleton

hosed up when you think about it

looking back now, all my ex-girlfriends had skeletons

maybe that's why it all went wrong? idk

FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams
gently caress these short haired gay cancer line dancing girls.

Mayor Glowku
Jul 29, 2012

:pcgaming: :pcgaming: :pcgaming:
:pcgaming: :pcgaming: :pcgaming:
:pcgaming: :pcgaming: :pcgaming:

Mad Monk posted:

gently caress these short haired gay cancer line dancing girls.


I.C.
Jun 10, 2008

The ideal woman is one of those tumors that have hair and teeth.

Snatch Duster
Feb 20, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Beige posted:

The TV reporter from turtles?

Yes.

Beige
Sep 13, 2004
so the conversation waned and completely of its own accord drifted onto my own prejudices, about which I delivered the most spectacular put-down. devastated, the woman conceded to my preconceptions

penus penus penus
Nov 9, 2014

by piss__donald
im actually fairly certain that anybody who extremely over analyzes hair length on women is actually a wannabe rapist :shrug:

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌


2/10 would not smang

Sweaty IT Nerd
Jul 13, 2007

I.C. posted:

The ideal woman is one of those tumors that have hair and teeth.

I guess it's my beard that makes me wrongly think that is gross.

Beige posted:

so the conversation waned and completely of its own accord drifted onto my own prejudices, about which I delivered the most spectacular put-down. devastated, the woman conceded to my preconceptions

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
Long hair looks real pretty on women I think but pretty women are usually still really pretty even with short hair

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose


so damaged, so unattractive
:goonsay:

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry





tv is proof long hair is better. chicks that start out with short hair inevitably end up with long hair as the show progresses

The Anime Liker
Aug 8, 2009

by VideoGames
Homeboy writes fantasy stories where he's the cool smart voice of reason and even in his own fantasy he's a shrimpdick cuck bitch.

I.C.
Jun 10, 2008

The Sphinxster posted:

I guess it's my beard that makes me wrongly think that is gross.

Look at any "desirable" woman throughout history and what do they have in common?
Long teeth, patches of hair, skin encasing a gelatinous sac of organs. Sorry you have been brainwashed by the feminist agenda.

I.C.
Jun 10, 2008

Xaris posted:

tv is proof long hair is better. chicks that start out with short hair inevitably end up with long hair as the show progresses

Remember when everyone flipped out when Felicity cut her hair?

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Decebal posted:

Is preference for women with long hair a cultural thing ? Seems like almost every human society had women with long hair

Before King Chulalonkorn's time (~1900) Thai women wore their hair cropped short, the same as the men.

boom boom boom
Jun 28, 2012

by Shine

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:



so damaged, so unattractive
:goonsay:

She did look better with long hair tho

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

I.C. posted:

Remember when everyone flipped out when Felicity cut her hair?

lol really? i don't remember her having short hair at any point but i have poo poo memory. she's loving hot though no matter if she went bald

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Xaris posted:






tv is proof long hair is better. chicks that start out with short hair inevitably end up with long hair as the show progresses

and yet they almost all look better with short hair

I.C.
Jun 10, 2008

Xaris posted:

lol really? i don't remember her having short hair at any point but i have poo poo memory. she's loving hot though no matter if she went bald

Maybe we're talking about a different Felicity. I mean the girl who played Felicity on the show called…Felicity.



It was a scandal because she hadn't told the producers she was gonna do it, and then she did, and then they had it written into the show.

And have you seen her in anything lately????

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
boys with long hair look grosser

unless theyre really really buff in which case it kind of works

but skinny or fat nerds with long hair is just the worst thing

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



i like women with man buns

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



and sweaty dad bods

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry
oh, i was thinking of felicity smoak from arrow

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Zzulu posted:

boys with long hair look grosser

unless theyre really really buff in which case it kind of works

but skinny or fat nerds with long hair is just the worst thing

what about the dude from sleepy hollow

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)

Xaris posted:

what about the dude from sleepy hollow

he's really handsome and those people (the handsomes) abide by no normal rules as they can get away with any look

jarjarbinksfan621
Mar 4, 2012
the only girls who can pull it off well are skinny ones with super angular faces and even then, keira knightley is like 10x hotter with long hair.

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Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!
Grimey Drawer
ahhh it's a beautiful world in which even sexist weirdos with the mind of a 10-year old (that is also a lovely 10 year old) have a stump from which to yell their dumb poo poo lol

a beautiful world

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