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For some of you, it may be aids or jealous spouse following a "casual encounter", for some, respiratory illness after picking up an odd job, still others will be mugged after buying beanie babies in the bad part of town. For me, it will be an add for a used synth. Probably a second Marion MSR-2 because I think that's about the only synth I would want right now. It'll be a some opulent mansion, all manicured hedges and a gate with a monogram on it and a fountain and poo poo. I'll pull up, ring the door bell, like totally just down to grab my kit and bounce, not even gonna try haggling, I don't think the fucker needs the money that bad. As I enter I'm knocked out cold from behind. I awake tied to a table, the surroundings are like that orgy scene in society. I'm naked on the table and a gaggle of wealthy cougar types are just mesmerized by the huge majesty of my cock. I clear my head a little, look around enough to gather that besides kinky sex, I'm pretty sure they are intending to cook and possibly eat me. I am decidely not cool with that. I try the bonds, but they're pretty well tied considering they were tied by fragile hands that have never experienced manual labor. I'm about to resign myself to a fate of one last good ride on some cougar pussy before being roasted to death when some serious SWAT type dudes bust in and start shooting. An also naked servant girl who was carrying a tray full of mimosas unites me and together we escape naked to my car in the melee. Years later, I'm recounting this harrowing tale to some dude from craigslist who is buying my MSR-2 when I drop dead of gout. That will be my craiglist demise. What will be yours?
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 11:35 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 20:07 |
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Sizone posted:For some of you, it may be aids or jealous spouse following a "casual encounter", for some, respiratory illness after picking up an odd job, still others will be mugged after buying beanie babies in the bad part of town. Same
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 11:51 |
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i'll be sucking dick just outside the back of the greyhound--not sure where craigslist factors in tho?
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 12:01 |
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I'll be answering an advert of a couple who want a cuckold relationship which is very vague on details. We arrange to meet at their house and they seem nice, the conversation is pleasant and she's fairly attractive even in her advancing years. After a few sips of wine I start to feel drowsy and slowly slip into a deep sleep. I wake up drowsy, in pain, my hands tied together and I've been positioned on all fours. I turn my head and see that the woman is pegging me with a lot of enthusiasm and it feels like she hasn't used any lube. It's painful and very uncomfortable but I'm feeling far too drowsy and debilitated to do anything about it. I turn my head a little and see the man thumbing his small cock, when he see's my eyes on him he immediately ejaculates. The woman notices and then decides to stop pegging, she starts to untie me and then helps me to get dressed as I'm still finding it hard to function. It's a little hard to walk so she leads me downstairs, I'm still confused about everything that's going on and as I'm crossing the street I get hit by a car.
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 12:36 |
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Rocket Baby Dolls posted:I'll be answering an advert of a couple who want a cuckold relationship which is very vague on details. We arrange to meet at their house and they seem nice, the conversation is pleasant and she's fairly attractive even in her advancing years. After a few sips of wine I start to feel drowsy and slowly slip into a deep sleep. I wake up drowsy, in pain, my hands tied together and I've been positioned on all fours. I turn my head and see that the woman is pegging me with a lot of enthusiasm and it feels like she hasn't used any lube. It's painful and very uncomfortable but I'm feeling far too drowsy and debilitated to do anything about it. I turn my head a little and see the man thumbing his small cock, when he see's my eyes on him he immediately ejaculates. The woman notices and then decides to stop pegging, she starts to untie me and then helps me to get dressed as I'm still finding it hard to function. It's a little hard to walk so she leads me downstairs, I'm still confused about everything that's going on and as I'm crossing the street I get hit by a car. that's really cute! :-3
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 12:38 |
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drop dead of gay, prolapse-nose
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 12:55 |
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Fake job listing for the old bean factory.
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 13:13 |
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responding to a great deal on a patio set, go to seller's house and get shotgunned through the screen door by a 15 year old who wanted to know what it's like to murder someone
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 13:43 |
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pay a sexy craigslist mistress to kill me that's my fetish
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 14:58 |
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op i'm going to be 100% straight with you because you seem like a good guy i didnt read any of this
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 15:44 |
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This is a good thread, easilyworthy of four golden man babies
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 17:05 |
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I will not craigslist die. I refuse to. I will craigslive forever!
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 17:20 |
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CISMALES DID 9-11 posted:op i'm going to be 100% straight with you because you seem like a good guy same lol
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 17:21 |
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Trapped in OPs sex dungeon
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 17:21 |
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once i sold something on craigslist to a fairly attractive black woman. the guy in the next apartment got very upset that i didnt try to creep on her, which was very odd since i had never spoken to him before. so, he will probably hunt me down and murder me.
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 18:08 |
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im hoping to be sat on to death by several rubenesque ladies
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 18:10 |
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espresso machine boiler explosion
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 22:01 |
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killed by being electrocuted by a 1000 watt hps growlight falling into my hydroponics reservoir. don't feel sorry for me. i died doing what i love.
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 22:06 |
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accidently over charged my JO crystal and burnt down the house
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 22:07 |
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fall asleep while browsing personals for the comedy factor, drop cigarette and burn self to death imo
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 22:08 |
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Nooner posted:accidently over charged my JO crystal and burnt down the house oh no! get well soon
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 22:08 |
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Nooner posted:accidently over charged my JO crystal and burnt down the house didnt read this before my post
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 22:08 |
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electrocution by model train set during JO hookup
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 22:17 |
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les fleurs du mall posted:fall asleep while browsing personals for the comedy factor, drop cigarette and burn self to death imo same
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 22:18 |
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sociopath selling a car with brake lines he just put holes in
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 22:19 |
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murdered after trolling someone trying to fraud me on a macbook for the amusement of an online forum
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 22:20 |
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guidoanselmi posted:murdered after trolling someone trying to fraud me on a macbook for the amusement of an online forum
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 22:52 |
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Killed by a right wing death squad after buying Panama
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 22:52 |
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Nooner posted:accidently over charged my JO crystal and burnt down the house $ Erase Nooner's porn off his computer so friends and family don't find it.
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 23:02 |
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Anyone stupid enough to use craigslist why dont we just give em the freakin darwin award right now. Its the award for the stupid dyers.
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 23:33 |
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On craigslist there's this crazy thing that can happen if u message someone trying to sell a tumble dryer with "i will suck ur dick" then this crazy ghost will come out of your computer and give u 2 wishes, the first wish he grants but the second wish he bans u from the SomethingAwful forums.
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 23:35 |
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JebanyPedal posted:On craigslist there's this crazy thing that can happen if u message someone trying to sell a tumble dryer with "i will suck ur dick" then this crazy ghost will come out of your computer and give u 2 wishes, the first wish he grants but the second wish he bans u from the SomethingAwful forums. what if my first wish is to never be banned from the something is awful dot com internet forum message boards? hu?h huh?
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 23:47 |
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BIG BOY EXPO 2K posted:what if my first wish is to never be banned from the something is awful dot com internet forum message boards? hu?h huh? you get that comedy 99999 hour probation which the admins keep in reserve for special occasions
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 23:49 |
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ANIME IS BLOOD posted:you get that comedy 99999 hour probation which the admins keep in reserve for special occasions gently caress
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# ? Jun 5, 2015 23:54 |
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BIG BOY EXPO 2K posted:gently caress try and play the ghost and get played son, what it is
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# ? Jun 6, 2015 00:24 |
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craig will cross me off his list as then he has killed me i will see you in hell craig
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# ? Jun 6, 2015 00:26 |
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After I ironically post a pro-ISIS diatribe in the rants and raves section Obama drones me.
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# ? Jun 6, 2015 00:36 |
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Sizone posted:For some of you, it may be aids or jealous spouse following a "casual encounter", for some, respiratory illness after picking up an odd job, still others will be mugged after buying beanie babies in the bad part of town. opposite
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# ? Jun 6, 2015 00:46 |
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Craigslist rideshare passenger was triggered by my posts.
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# ? Jun 6, 2015 01:04 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 20:07 |
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Not with a bang but a whimper.
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# ? Jun 6, 2015 01:07 |