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I have a couple of job interviews coming up next week and I'm kind of nervous because I haven't actually had a real job interview since high school so I don't have much interviewing experience. I had my first job interview when I was 16 and the manager was upset at the fact that I wore jeans to the interview. (I didn't know any better). It was a pretty bad first-time experience. I had a summer job in college where I just walked in and they hired me on the spot without an interview (best job I ever had). Then I worked for my grandfather's plumbing business for a few years. Then I got a trucking job. You don't have to interview for an entry-level trucking position. You just have to have a CDL and not smoke meth on a regular basis. When I get nervous I get shaky and I feel like I can't breathe. Share some tips for relaxing and succeeding in a job interview. Don't be afraid to share your embarrassing interview moments because they will make me feel less like a loser if I make a fool of myself. Thanks.
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Jun 7, 2015 21:53
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 19:54 |
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don't be afraid to fart during the interview. it shows that you are relaxed and confident
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Jun 7, 2015 21:54
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to get over your anxiety, imagine the interviewer is naked. then if you like what you see just gently caress him like crazy.
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Jun 7, 2015 21:55
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Parallax Scroll posted:don't be afraid to fart during the interview. it shows that you are relaxed and confident Expanding on this, sit w your legs spread so as to highlight your bulge and further assert your alpha status
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Jun 7, 2015 21:58
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Use somebody else's piss when they ask you to pee in a cup and you'll be confident during the interview
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Jun 7, 2015 21:59
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stuff your bra and your crotch
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Jun 7, 2015 22:01
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Shart your pants before the interview.
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Jun 7, 2015 22:01
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prepare questions in advance
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Jun 7, 2015 22:02
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just dont bother you're completely unemployable and it would be a waste of yours and theyre time sit at home and have a wank instead
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Jun 7, 2015 22:04
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One of the jobs I'm interviewing for is fedex. The other is for a Habitat for Humanity ReStore delivery driver position. I've heard that fedex is a soulless mega-corp with horrible management, and, while the ReStore is for a good cause, some of the people that work there look like they just got out of San Quentin. FedEx looks better on the resume, but the ReStore is expanding fast and the manager seems eager to put me into a management position which equals more pay.
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Jun 7, 2015 22:07
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Saalkin posted:Shart your pants before the interview. actually don't i just did this and it's awful
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Jun 7, 2015 22:07
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SweetKarma posted:One of the jobs I'm interviewing for is fedex. The other is for a Habitat for Humanity ReStore delivery driver position. I've heard that fedex is a soulless mega-corp with horrible management, and, while the ReStore is for a good cause, some of the people that work there look like they just got out of San Quentin. FedEx looks better on the resume, but the ReStore is expanding fast and the manager seems eager to put me into a management position which equals more pay. with that attitude you wont get neither, like i said your unemployable dole scum get back in the gutter
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Jun 7, 2015 22:08
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god the smell just won't go away
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Jun 7, 2015 22:10
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Shirley Crabtree posted:with that attitude you wont get neither, like i said your unemployable dole scum get back in the gutter I could get a local trucking position, but I need at least one year of otr trucking experience and I'd rather slit my eyeballs with a hot knife than do that.
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Jun 7, 2015 22:11
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SweetKarma posted:I could get a local trucking position, but I need at least one year of otr trucking experience and I'd rather slit my eyeballs with a hot knife than do that. perhaps you could take a job cleaning poo from toilets, they don't really care what your attitude is and clearly you have a bad one when it comes to having to do actual work of any kind
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Jun 7, 2015 22:13
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SweetKarma posted:IShare some tips for relaxing and succeeding in a job interview. dont go to the interview. on your way home, pick up doritos, mt dew and world of warcraft
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Jun 7, 2015 22:17
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Black sneakers are not dress shoes
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Jun 7, 2015 22:18
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Skilleddk posted:dont go to the interview. on your way home, pick up doritos, mt dew and world of warcraft I can't buy those things you mentioned that I obviously love without a job!! Thanks alot Obama.
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Jun 7, 2015 22:19
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BigBoss posted:Black sneakers are not dress shoes Don't worry I got me some nice streetcars. I also got me a pair of dockers (a little baggy, but not "cholo" baggy), and a navy blue polo shirt.
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Jun 7, 2015 22:21
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I WORK VERY WELL ON MY OWN INITIATIVE AND ALSO AS PART OF A TEAM drop that little bombshell on them op, you can't lose. don't think of any specific examples beforehand, those would only bore them
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Jun 7, 2015 22:44
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Ask the interviewer if they have stairs in their house and when they pretend to be confused about the question begin screaming obscenities as loud as possible You will get job 100%
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Jun 7, 2015 22:46
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the worst stewie posted:I WORK VERY WELL ON MY OWN INITIATIVE AND ALSO AS PART OF A TEAM 
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Jun 7, 2015 22:50
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join the local labourer's union and work like a real man and get paid real man dollars
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Jun 7, 2015 22:52
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My strategy for programmer interviews is to act desperate. I say I'll work for minimum wage and no benefits.
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Jun 7, 2015 22:53
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Hot Karl Marx posted:join the local labourer's union and work like a real man and get paid real man dollars I missed out on the hvac/steamfitter/plumber testing deadline. It was back in april. I got drunk the day before and forgot about it.
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Jun 7, 2015 22:54
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when you meet the interviewer, to make a good impression, suck in your lips and face really hard and swallow your tongue. this allows him to understand that you are the dominant male in the room.
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Jun 7, 2015 22:56
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SweetKarma posted:I missed out on the hvac/steamfitter/plumber testing deadline. It was back in april. I got drunk the day before and forgot about it. make sure you tell your interviewer that then
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Jun 7, 2015 22:57
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bring a small handful of peanuts on one pocket, and pennies in the other. using the pennies and peanuts, spell out the interviewers name in pennies, and your own in peanuts. this is a vague way of telling them you would like to be paid in real money.
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Jun 7, 2015 22:57
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Ape Fist posted:bring a small handful of peanuts on one pocket, and pennies in the other. using the pennies and peanuts, spell out the interviewers name in pennies, and your own in peanuts. this is a vague way of telling them you would like to be paid in real money. Awesome, doing this for my interview with 3M.
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Jun 7, 2015 22:58
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use economic graphs to try to get a living wage
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Jun 7, 2015 22:58
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quote lines from the 1985 movie 'Ladyhawke' in your C.V. anything by the deranged monk character is useful for compsci jobs.
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Jun 7, 2015 22:59
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murder the ceo because then, according to right of conquest, you are the new ceo
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Jun 7, 2015 22:59
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never break eye contact or even blink. it will show dominance and willpower
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Jun 7, 2015 23:00
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print off all of the images you find on a pinterest search for 'bath towels' and give them to one of the girls in HR. similar to the hit TV show 'The Office' love will likely bloom for you later in the year. try to use company printers and full colour ink to save money.
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Jun 7, 2015 23:01
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My interviewers name is Darry. Is that a guy name?
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Jun 7, 2015 23:01
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darryl it probably just cut off the l
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Jun 7, 2015 23:02
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SweetKarma posted:My interviewers name is Darry. Is that a guy name? Dress skanky just in case. Sex sells!
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Jun 7, 2015 23:02
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I had an interview the other day and I hosed it up from the get-go. Interviewer: First of all, thank you for coming Me: That's OK, I'd rather be here than at work 
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Jun 7, 2015 23:04
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a job interview is basically just an hour conversation for someone to see if you can do a job, so the easiest way to convince them of this is to simply assume you already have the job and answer questions like that, so I guess confidently and non-retardedly. if you're nervous all the time on the job then I dono, grab a drink before the interview or whatever, just remember to be chill and not an idiot, but ymmv
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Jun 7, 2015 23:05
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 19:54 |
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rabble rabble posted:a job interview is basically just an hour conversation for someone to see if you can do a job, so the easiest way to convince them of this is to simply assume you already have the job and answer questions like that, so I guess confidently and non-retardedly. if you're nervous all the time on the job then I dono, grab a drink before the interview or whatever, just remember to be chill and not an idiot, but ymmv An hour? Kill me now.
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Jun 7, 2015 23:20
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