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Old Greg Stolze Thread It's exactly 3:33 am, and I can't think of a rumor. There's a certain brand of blue food dye that, when added to pure Himalyan salt, will cause certain people tasting it to use 100% of their brains. Or maybe it just turns you into an addict. There's a reason there's no Starbucks' in Australia, and it's the same reason that every barista in Sydney has identical fingerprints. Count Chocula fucked around with this message at 18:44 on Jun 13, 2015 |
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Jun 13, 2015 18:34
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Barack Hussein Obama was not born in Hawaii. He was not born at all. He's the product of a major Personamancy spell worked during the 2004 Democratic National Convention. The birther movement is America's magical immune system, awakened by Mak Attax, responding to a treacherous attempt to claim the crown of the True King left abandoned by JFK. Why do you think Michelle Obama is so set on making Americans quit eating McDonalds?
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Jun 13, 2015 18:41
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There is a man who has watched every single episode of The Simpsons, including the original Tracey Ullman shorts. He's not a Videomancer. He's just a normal, everyday joe. But he never leaves the house without wearing heavy gloves, and every year he needs more makeup to hide his yellowing skin.
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Jun 13, 2015 18:51
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Abraham Lincoln is total fiction. Carve his face off a penny, drop it into the crappiest cup of coffee you can find, then drink the whole thing. You'll learn who really ran the Union. The Comte taught Percy Spencer how to hum the secret song of the Sun and he put it into microwaves. Every time you use one, the Sun's lifespan is cut by a day or two. The CIA figured out how to bug language itself back in the nineties. Speaking a word invented since the turn of the millennium lets them listen in on your conversation. The moon's a clever optical illusion produced by giant crystal lenses in orbit. NASA sent the astronauts up there to study them and see if we could make more of them. Mormons didn't exist until 1929, when they started broadcasting.
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Jun 13, 2015 19:44
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Vodoun is real, and that's why zombies have become so popular in the last twenty years. But it's not what you think--the rise of zombies is a conspiracy by Christian conservatives involved with the media. By altering the popular perception of what zombies are away from the vodoun reality, it limits the power of vodouists. Another ten years and the Christians think they'll have a chance at wiping out some major vodoun cells across the Caribbean.
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Jun 13, 2015 21:29
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One out of every 51 quarters has George Washington's face pointing in the wrong direction, a diamond stud clearly visible on his right nostril.
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Jun 14, 2015 04:46
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John Doe is actually a gestalt consciousness built upon a substrate of the synaptic spasms occurring in every dying/recently dead human being. Fueled by death, this omnipresent psychic entity uses its subtle powers of influence to march humanity towards an eventual death spiral to further its inscrutable ambitions.
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Jun 14, 2015 06:45
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Chemtrails are a conspiracy, but not the way you think. You know how the Nazca Lines only look like something when seen from above? Think about it.
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Jun 14, 2015 06:56
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The 2nd album by Brooklyn indie rock band The Hold Steady tells the life-story of the Naked Goddess, if you can decode all the Biblical and classic rock references. Why do you think they're Hurley from Lost's favorite band? And what's really going on in those camps in the banks by the river? Every year on June 16th, Dublin's Urbanomancers, Bibliomancers, and Cliomancers wage all-out war over the charges generated by Bloomsday as hordes of literary fans reenact a pilgrimage around the city. But there's a new group of players, a Pornomancy offshoot charging up on Molly Bloom's final liberatory monologue.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ii_aZ6djNkM Why does Stephen Joyce fight so hard to prevent public readings of his grandfather's most famous work? Most people think he's just a dick, but some say that those readings are one element in a ritual that could, if done properly and rightly, trap Dublin into a neverending June 16, 1904. Everyone knows Donald Trump is rich. The sort of people who like to tell you that you're wrong say that he's actually bankrupt. A few people know that he's more powerful than any real billionare because of that paradox. There is nothing I can add to this to make it more Unknown Armies than it already is: Charles Manson Signed a Copy of the Beatles’ ‘White Album,’ and It’s On Sale For $49,000 Count Chocula fucked around with this message at 07:41 on Jun 14, 2015 |
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Jun 14, 2015 07:36
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The Somerton Man was once the most powerful Personamancer in the world. Following an incredibly complex and tasking ritual lasting over a decade, he finally pulled off what ordinary Thespians can only fantasize about - he erased his own physical identity, leaving behind only an unidentifed body on an Australian beach. Even the people who knew him in life couldn't identify him, because as of December 1, 1948, he had never existed. That doesn't mean he's gone - he still walks among us to this day, though he isn't exactly what you'd call human anymore.
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Jun 14, 2015 17:00
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Those Cash4Gold schemes you keep on getting adverts for are actually a front for the world's last surviving dragon.
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Jun 15, 2015 07:54
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Ron Jeremy hasn't been seen in over 10 years. That guy they've been trotting in front of cameras since The Surreal Life was on is just a dinner-theater actor with a facelift and a fake stache. The real Hedgehog's been in hiding since they found out one of his co-stars in the 90's was the Naked Goddess, and he's been doing whatever he can to get her Cult off of his jock.
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Jun 15, 2015 08:34
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In a crumbling student den in Berkeley, some science undergrads have managed to synthesize Crystal Math, and will give you some if you prank the dean.
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Jun 15, 2015 08:55
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Tarot cards don't predict the future, but Uno can.
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Jun 15, 2015 09:10
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The Law and Order franchise is the reason for the drop in crime rates over the last twenty-five years. Some sort of sympathetic magic - going through the ritual motions of the police procedural prevents crimes in the real world.
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Jun 15, 2015 11:48
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Obama's birth certificate is indeed fake. He was never born. He just is.
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Jun 15, 2015 12:44
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There is a man in who turns every can of coke he touches into pepsi.
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Jun 15, 2015 12:46
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There are aliens on the moon, and they killed JFK. They'd hoped his death would end the ridiculous notion of humankind walking on the moon.
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Jun 16, 2015 02:39
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Overheard at a cocktail bar near Columbia University - "You want to talk difficult cases? At least sex trafficking and a drug ring put money in your client's pocket. I've begging my client to plea insanity, but he won't have any of it. I'm like, "How the Hell do you explain sewing animal heads onto human bodies?!?" Can't wait to see the judge's face when this psycho tells him he's "building his own pantheon", whatever the Hell that means..."
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Jun 16, 2015 03:56
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Disneyworld really is the most magical place on earth. Anything that would give you a charge, there it gives you two. There's only two drawbacks - one is that the extra charges dissapate as soon as you leave the park. The other is that you really don't want to use magic if a Disney cast member can see you. I mean, you can, it's not impossible or anything, you just... don't want to. Trust me.
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Jun 16, 2015 08:49
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Homestuck really is the Ulysses of the internet. The videogame industry is actually a CIA mind-control project gone way out of control. The country of Vietnam does not actually exist. There is a fourth Musketeer novel written by Dumas before his death. Only ten copies exist, and one of them is one of the Bristish Royal Family's most prized possessions.
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Jun 16, 2015 11:11
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The Illuminati pyramid eye symbol is actually a shamanistic symbol used to ward off evil: conspiracy theorists that decry it are actually in the pockets of a much larger, more shadowy organisation.
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Jun 16, 2015 11:42
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Most Western children sell their souls to the demon Aybeesee by the time they're six.
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Jun 16, 2015 11:43
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Nude Bog Lurker posted:Most Western children sell their souls to the demon Aybeesee by the time they're six.
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Jun 16, 2015 11:47
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The third edition of Unknown Armies is already in playtesting.
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Jun 16, 2015 12:39
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People who get mad about government surveillance are that way because they're the few people who aren't already being watched. If only they knew this. Videomancers have not been taking the shift to digital very well. My advice is not to disturb them. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osxEFrkFbCM There's a cellphone carrier out there connects you directly to the real phone system. There is only one mall. and we have all visited it. If you get lost in it thoroughly enough, you can exit through any of its entrances across America.
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Jun 16, 2015 16:17
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Every videomancer that has attempted to use the series Dark Mirror as his obsession has mysteriously disappeared.
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Jun 16, 2015 16:32
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The demotion of Pluto was part of a larger plot to discredit astronomy and revive geocentrism. Have you heard of Jakob Mierscheid? He's a fictitious German politician who's supposedly been a member of the Bundestag since 1979. Makes you wonder how many other fictitious politicians there are...
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Jun 16, 2015 16:45
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A percentage of sovereign citizens are actually low-level entropomancers: they want to see how far they can push policemen before something bad happens.
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Jun 16, 2015 16:54
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Some of the other sovereign citizens are on the way to forming their own adept school, with the central paradox of using the law to demonstrate why they don't have to obey it. The problem is, every time someone's on the verge of making the breakthrough from Mageekian to full on wizard, they turn into a boat.
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Jun 16, 2015 17:57
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The homeless aren't asking you for change, they're asking you to change. Listen.
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Jun 16, 2015 18:43
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Can we use this thread to brainstorm ideas for Adept Schools and Avatars too? If anyone is game, here's the basics for The Ludomancer Strange Matter fucked around with this message at 21:20 on Jun 16, 2015 |
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Jun 16, 2015 19:18
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You wait. You wait until a kid drowns. Happens every year, no foul play, just a matter of waiting. And that midnight, you slip into the abandoned Speedy Burger, and you line up at the counter in the dark. Speak clear into the pitch black, and there'll be a server waiting. Order yourself a Murder To Go. Best get there early though, sometimes the queue is around the block. Lotta grudges in this town.
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Jun 16, 2015 20:01
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The McRib is made of meat, but nobody ever seems to know where it comes from. Ask a McDonald's supplier, and they'll claim it's angus. The blank stares and slack jaw before they reply says otherwise, though.
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Jun 16, 2015 20:13
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Strange Matter posted:Can we use this thread to brainstorm ideas for Adept Schools and Avatars too? You may want to avoid games of chance altogether, as playing with probability hones in on Entropomancer turf. I'm thinking specifically of "Loaded Dice" here. Similarly, wagering memories is really something set aside for Mechanomancers. Instead, play up more of the angle intimated by Nash's Equilibrium. Also, I suggest adding "must play the game that is the target of their obsession when challenged" to prevent hoarding. Some minor spell ideas: Yomi: You can, for 1 charge, hold a conversation through a game, with no outside communication taking place. A simple game like Rock Paper Scissors could allow you to quietly and instantly communicate a short plan like "wait for me to jump over the bar, then shoot the bartender while he's distracted." While a chess match would be a complicated, hours-long conversation with an eventual conclusion. Draco Defense: (1 - 3 sig) The building you are located in is completely impervious to either physical or magickal for as many days as significant charges you use. Divine Move: You may flip-flop a single, specific action determined at the time you cast this spell, within one minute to one hour of the time it is cast.
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Jun 16, 2015 21:50
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Impermanent posted:You may want to avoid games of chance altogether, as playing with probability hones in on Entropomancer turf. I'm thinking specifically of "Loaded Dice" here. Similarly, wagering memories is really something set aside for Mechanomancers. Instead, play up more of the angle intimated by Nash's Equilibrium. I'll avoid giving them powers based on probability, but they can still charge up using games of chance. My thought process there is that it's probably the worst possible option for them because, unlike Entropomancers who charge up simply by exposing themselves to risk, Ludomancers actually have to win in order to earn their Charges, which adds an extra level of difficulty.
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Jun 16, 2015 22:53
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If you set fire to the right moth then it will unfurl the smoke into a map. No-one knows where to.
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Jun 17, 2015 00:48
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I know this weird guy who does art commissions - you can find him starting from 4:32 pm until closing, on every night where you'd find a half moon, at the local coffee place. I know he once did a piece where he remade a tarot deck using people the client knows. For "authenticity", he says, the client burned the photos afterwards. He's never done that kind of work since. Odd fact - the Piano playing at Suzy's diner is always in time with how the rain falls on that section of the river. It's also odd how it only seems to play when it rains. If you map the location of all the electronic fly traps in a given town and find the central point, you can find the ideal place to summon the great fly lord.
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Jun 17, 2015 02:02
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MTV cancelled Jackass after only three seasons due to pressure from underground entities over the sheer amount of Entropomantic and Epideromantic energy being generated across the American midwest. They were afraid that an entire generation of America's youth was on the verge of completely decohering from reality. They killed Ryan Dunn as a warning to the rest of them, especially Knoxville. He was starting to get ideas. Strange Matter fucked around with this message at 02:47 on Jun 17, 2015 |
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Jun 17, 2015 02:45
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If that's true, than what are they going to do to prevent all the Entropomantic chaos that spawned from Fury Road? Because everyone feels charged up after watching it. And that's because, in a variant of a Max Attax ritual, half the people who watched it picked up a Minor charge. Most people just waste it, but Entropomancer know what they need to do to make it a Sig charge... By the way, I heard that if you watch the movie and focus on everything BUT Furiousa's arm, you can see it moving by itself in certain scenes. And I'm not saying that's sign language, but a motivated Mechanomancer could learn a few things... He'd have to give up more than his memories though. Pick Up Artists have a life built around an Obsession with getting laid, a philosophy full of obvious Paradoxes, and a set of mechanistic actions ('talk to 30 people a night') that slot easily into charging rituals. So why aren't they Adepts yet? Is the Flying Woman preventing it? Does the Choir Invisible prevent it? Or does every stupidly-named leader of the scene who comes close get a meeting with something who offers them real power? Count Chocula fucked around with this message at 03:23 on Jun 17, 2015 |
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Jun 17, 2015 02:59
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