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Virginia Slams
Nov 17, 2012
End it all with a bullet through your temple

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lorn Wayne
Jan 7, 2006

:staredog::meowth::pipe:
Meditate and figure out how to stop being such a lil pissbitch.

lil pissbitch
Mar 8, 2015

Shirley Crabtree posted:

its more that you could spend the day on playstation or something and instead you want to dance around the forest in your undies pissing on owls or whatever its loving fruity
emptyquote

Grody posted:

End it all with a bullet through your temple

nature dude! I'd rather tie a rock to my foot and take a swim if Im going that way with things

lorn Wayne posted:

Meditate and figure out how to stop being such a lil pissbitch.

its not bad to be a lil pissbitch sometimes but it is good to meditate

Darf
Jun 6, 2011

You have quite a treasure there...
put a hot dog over each of your fingers and cook them over the fire

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!
Grimey Drawer
drinking and reading alone by a campfire at night owns

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012

Darf posted:

put a hot dog over each of your fingers and cook them over the fire

cook your cock over the fire then put it in a bun and serve it up to your friends when they arrive but call it a 'cock dog'

toggle
Nov 7, 2005

I.N.R.I posted:

Bring a 14 year old boy back to it and gently caress him

thats a bit crass

Ocean Book
Sep 27, 2010

:yum: - hi
walk around and look at stuff

Stoic Commie
Aug 29, 2005

by XyloJW
jack off in the tent and find an internet cafe

Stoic Commie
Aug 29, 2005

by XyloJW
and then jack off in the internet cafe, say you're from the woods

king salmon
Oct 30, 2011

by Cowcaster
end poverty

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax
Fun Shoe

lil pissbitch posted:

You bet your rear end I will! Badass

Your first quest is to find and consume a fly amanita, scientific species amanita muscaria.

a bay
Oct 14, 2014

by Lowtax
You aren't going to stummon poo poo op camping yourself in front of a spa smh

lil pissbitch
Mar 8, 2015
It's looking like this is the rough itinerary.

3ish: get there, set up*
4ish: swim in creek, play in current like child, maybe even walk upstream and float back down to campsite*
6ish: hike to top of mountain, enjoy sunset*
8ish: build fire, read, listen to music, maybe play music, pass out embarrassingly early on the ground outside my tent*
*drink and smoke liberally throughout

That's a solid rear end day! But what about the next day? I have until mid afternoon to myself and those are the only things that I know for sure that I want to do

lil pissbitch
Mar 8, 2015

Claven666 posted:

Your first quest is to find and consume a fly amanita, scientific species amanita muscaria.

It'll be weird to fetch quest just one mushroom

a bay posted:

You aren't going to stummon poo poo op camping yourself in front of a spa smh

Dark Lord works in mysterious ways

goatse.cx haver
Oct 17, 2010

precious metals
get drunk and high then drown

lil pissbitch
Mar 8, 2015

goatse.cx haver posted:

get drunk and high then drown

Im writing all of these down

Quite A Tool
Jul 4, 2004

The answer is... 42
Make sure to bring signal flares in case you get lost trying to find the spa.

The_Book_Of_Harry
Apr 30, 2013

Try not to drink too much, too early in the day, or else you will be dehydrated and miserable.

Go hiking and and smoke pot. Wander around and see how many different sorts of plants, bugs and animals you can encounter. Biodiversity is staggering if you give it a chance.

Go swimming in the lake/river...it's so much better than a swimming pool, even if it smells funny and isn't temperature controlled.

See if you can build a fire without matches/lighter...it's harder than you think.

And finally, don't sleep in the tent. Waking up outdoors to cook a killer breakfast is one of life's simplest true joys.

lil pissbitch
Mar 8, 2015

Quite A Tool posted:

Make sure to bring signal flares in case you get lost trying to find the spa.

Should I just go to the spa?? I'm kind of feeling like I should schedule something for Friday morning. What else am I gonna do?

The_Book_Of_Harry posted:

Try not to drink too much, too early in the day, or else you will be dehydrated and miserable.

Go hiking and and smoke pot. Wander around and see how many different sorts of plants, bugs and animals you can encounter. Biodiversity is staggering if you give it a chance.

Go swimming in the lake/river...it's so much better than a swimming pool, even if it smells funny and isn't temperature controlled.

See if you can build a fire without matches/lighter...it's harder than you think.

And finally, don't sleep in the tent. Waking up outdoors to cook a killer breakfast is one of life's simplest true joys.

gently caress yeah dude. I'm following all this advice.

king salmon
Oct 30, 2011

by Cowcaster
remove all your clothes and jump in the river or whatever it is

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

lil pissbitch posted:

Should I just go to the spa?? I'm kind of feeling like I should schedule something for Friday morning. What else am I gonna do?


gently caress yeah dude. I'm following all this advice.

idk where you are but not sleeping in the tent overnight is a great way to get 1,000,000 bug bites in many areas

also, go to the spa. you've got a whole day to kill. go after you went hiking a lot.

a bay
Oct 14, 2014

by Lowtax
I'm gonna go camping, maybe get a massage or my pubes waxed

Acres of Quakers
May 6, 2006

lil pissbitch posted:

It's looking like this is the rough itinerary.

3ish: get there, set up*
4ish: swim in creek, play in current like child, maybe even walk upstream and float back down to campsite*
6ish: hike to top of mountain, enjoy sunset*
8ish: build fire, read, listen to music, maybe play music, pass out embarrassingly early on the ground outside my tent*
*drink and smoke liberally throughout

That's a solid rear end day! But what about the next day? I have until mid afternoon to myself and those are the only things that I know for sure that I want to do

Pretty solid day there. However, if there are other people camping I think you'll find them pretty friendly and welcoming. If you're not a weirdo you'll probably be invited to hang out. I'd bring a six pack of something interesting to share. Then, when your friends show up you'll be the guy who knows everyone and earn much cred.

The second day you'll be up at around 5 a.m. or whenever sunrise is 'cause it'll be bright and loud as gently caress when all the kids wake up and decide it's time to play as loudly as possible. I'd do some fishing, swimming, or hiking. That way you'll be tired enough to nap at around 10 when families leave the campground to do things and it quiets back down.

The_Book_Of_Harry
Apr 30, 2013

Moridin920 posted:

idk where you are but not sleeping in the tent overnight is a great way to get 1,000,000 bug bites in many areas

also, go to the spa. you've got a whole day to kill. go after you went hiking a lot.

You are one bitch-made motherfucker.

Waaaahhhhh, bugs will bite me inside my sleeping bag, (even though dude's outside all day long, and sleeping under covers next to a fire). AND you want him to spend his outdoor vacation time indoors at a loving spa.

What the gently caress, you goony twat?

It's a camping trip, not a makeover.

The only way you could make that post more pathetic is if you told him to bring his inhaler and comfort plushie.

Darf
Jun 6, 2011

You have quite a treasure there...
hang yourself from one of the trees for your friends to find on friday

Infinite Karma
Oct 23, 2004
Good as dead





do some stuff from into the wild (i was gonna watch it to give you tips, but not on netflix)

City of Tampa
May 6, 2007

by zen death robot
jizz off the edge of a cliff down into the valley below, holler like a wild animal

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

The_Book_Of_Harry posted:

You are one bitch-made motherfucker.

Waaaahhhhh, bugs will bite me inside my sleeping bag, (even though dude's outside all day long, and sleeping under covers next to a fire). AND you want him to spend his outdoor vacation time indoors at a loving spa.

What the gently caress, you goony twat?

It's a camping trip, not a makeover.

The only way you could make that post more pathetic is if you told him to bring his inhaler and comfort plushie.

clearly you've never been canoeing in Canada during the summer. if you aren't in your tent by sundown you are hosed hosed hosed

and if the spa is there why not get a massage after a hike? jesus it's like everything has to be all or nothing, either you are hiking and sleeping outside and nature all day or you are a pathetic goon with an inhaler and a plushie getting makeovers.

TontoCorazon
Aug 18, 2007


Definitely copious amounts of drugs and self abuse.

ZombieParts
Jul 18, 2009

ASK ME ABOUT VISITING PROSTITUTES IN CHINA AND FEELING NO SHAME. MY FRIEND IS SERIOUSLY THE (PATHETIC) YODA OF PAYING WOMEN TO TOUCH HIS (AND MY) DICK. THEY WOULDN'T DO IT OTHERWISE.
get high - eat cliff bars

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers
Top Cop
Go fishing in the river. Cook the fish over the camp fire. Eat the fish.

Also, if you are away from city lights, go for a midnight hike to an open area, turnoff flashlight, enjoy the milky way.

Dave Stieb
Apr 15, 2010
Bring your psp

Lucky Guy
Jan 24, 2013

TY for no bm

jerk it

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
jerk it outdoors

texting my ex
Nov 15, 2008

I am no one
I cannot squat
It's in my blood
masturbate

flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

kill yourself in the tent to gently caress with your friends and also make them the primary suspects in your murder investigation. For some real fun, steal a knife out of one of their homes and do it with that.

poopzilla
Nov 23, 2004

what the gently caress is an "assisted" camp site? for like cripples and retards an poo poo??


you retarded op?

Ramsus
Sep 14, 2002

by Hand Knit
The last time I did this I walked right up on a bear and her cubs. The cubs went up a tree and the mom paced back and forth grunting. I stood very still and slowly back out.

Bring a weapon.

e. oh it's a campground

kill yourself op

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spacemang_spliff
Nov 29, 2014

wide pickle

The_Book_Of_Harry posted:

Try not to drink too much, too early in the day, or else you will be dehydrated and miserable.

Go hiking and and smoke pot. Wander around and see how many different sorts of plants, bugs and animals you can encounter. Biodiversity is staggering if you give it a chance.

Go swimming in the lake/river...it's so much better than a swimming pool, even if it smells funny and isn't temperature controlled.

See if you can build a fire without matches/lighter...it's harder than you think.

And finally, don't sleep in the tent. Waking up outdoors to cook a killer breakfast is one of life's simplest true joys.

this is good advice.

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