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trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

ive got a date coming up this weekend with a girl who isnt of legal drinking age yet but i noticed ive come to rely on things like going to cool underground bars, theyre normally perfect since they have a nice relaxed atmosphere but enough going on you have things to talk about. obviously since she wont be allowed in a place like that itd be great if anyone could give me some good ideas!

help me goons!

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communism bitch
Apr 24, 2009
Low effort joke about paedophilia

gently caress

communism bitch fucked around with this message at 10:15 on Jul 1, 2015

huskarl_marx
Oct 13, 2013

by zen death robot
college party

Ocean Book
Sep 27, 2010

:yum: - hi
get coffee, sit at the place for a while, go on a walk

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Oberleutnant posted:

Low effort joke about paedophilia

Happy Bear Suit
Jul 21, 2004

starbucks (or a similar coffee house for hipsters)

any good restaurant

if youre both the athletic type, the driving range

PotatoManJack
Nov 9, 2009
Here's a tip for you - The Olive Garden has unlimited breadsticks so you won't have to order appetizers!

Also, try their Balogna Carbonara - it's a treat!

TontoCorazon
Aug 18, 2007


Probably the easiest first date I usually like to go to is a comedy club. You don't have to drink but more importantly you don't have to say poo poo for a majority of the night. Let the comedians do most of the work for the you.

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler
well since you're trying to jack off maybe your date can help iwth that

Myron Baloney
Mar 19, 2002

Emitting dimensions are swallowing you
back in the late 70s we had fully furnished vans for that very purpose

Homo Simpson
Oct 21, 2014

by Smythe
Lipstick Apathy
Burger king.

Guildenstern Mother
Mar 31, 2010

Why walk when you can ride?
Take some mushrooms and play mini golf

Darf
Jun 6, 2011

You have quite a treasure there...
go to the gym for a sparring session. bonus points if you punch her in the cooch

Ocean Book
Sep 27, 2010

:yum: - hi
bonus points are points you get in addition to another pool of non-bonus points

Masturbasturd
Sep 1, 2014
gay bath house. No alcohol but GHB is in the chocolate fountain

Darf
Jun 6, 2011

You have quite a treasure there...
you get 1 point for every punch that you land, bonus for dick/cooter punches

gryfindor always gets 10

drjuggalo
Jul 26, 2014
just hang out with her behind her high school

old-timey newspaper gal
Feb 23, 2005
invite her over to your house and have her sit on the floor near your computer while you show her different threads on the somethingawful forums. make her watch you post and then look at her expectantly for a laugh.

Ein cooler Typ
Nov 26, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
Utah

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler

Hot Jam posted:

invite her over to your house and have her sit on the floor near your computer while you show her different threads on the somethingawful forums. make her watch you post and then look at her expectantly for a laugh.

you're not supposed to post what he's actually going to do, it's supposed to be what he wants to happen

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler

This is just obscene, gently caress you

Sour Diesel
Jan 30, 2010

go to a hobby/game store on friday night and enter a magic: the gathering tournament

be warned though, if someone kicks a lot of rear end at the tournament she may jump ship to him

my kinda ape
Sep 15, 2008

Everything's gonna be A-OK
Oven Wrangler

Sour Diesel posted:

go to a hobby/game store on friday night and enter a magic: the gathering tournament

be warned though, if someone kicks a lot of rear end at the tournament she may jump ship to him

teach her to paint warhammer figurines

Cactus Ghost
Dec 20, 2003

you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack
lol did you never go on a date before you were 21 or some poo poo

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Fun Shoe
Lebanese food is great and the hardcore places make it clear that alcohol is not tolerated

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

spike her sippy cup

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

Sour Diesel posted:

go to a hobby/game store on friday night and enter a magic: the gathering tournament

be warned though, if someone kicks a lot of rear end at the tournament she may jump ship to him

not likely, all rear end kicking will be done by me

GAYS FOR DAYS
Dec 22, 2005

by exmarx
Zoo is always a good one, I've gone on several first dates there, and if the conversation starts getting awkward/forced, you can always coo at cute animals.

Incomplete Fish
Apr 22, 2006

Grimey Drawer

Go to a park or something jeez. By implying you go to things like "cool underground bars" and appreciate atmosphere in your drinking establishments you're probably too old for a <21 Y.O.

Prep yourself on a few talking points for your date w/ an ephebe. Talk about community college, spending money that isn't yours, use cool acronyms like "nifoc" (naked in front of computer) and "ipn" (im posting naked).

Nyagato
Apr 6, 2009
Americas legal drinking age of over 20-whatever it is always weirds me out. Like, everyone starts drinking at 12 anyway so why not set it to 16-18 like a decent place.

univbee
Jun 3, 2004




OMGVBFLOL posted:

lol did you never go on a date before you were 21 or some poo poo

Yes.

Good thing 18 is the drinking age here.

Robbie Fowler
May 31, 2011
graveyard, it will be her first and last date with you :thurman:

oval office

School Nickname
Apr 23, 2010

*fffffff-fffaaaaaaarrrtt*
:ussr:
An AA meeting

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

OMGVBFLOL posted:

lol did you never go on a date before you were 21 or some poo poo

i started dating at 18 and anything i did then isnt a good reference

Ancient Mariner
Jan 14, 2015

by Lowtax

gnarlyhotep posted:

well since you're trying to jack off maybe your date can help iwth that

what the gently caress is this poo poo? since you didn't tack on a XD on the end you're attempt at a joke is sincere and that's just pathetic

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
a cornfield
edit: a goddamn loving dumbass cornfield bitch

Enfield fucked around with this message at 14:51 on Jul 1, 2015

JakeP
Apr 27, 2003

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Lipstick Apathy

Isaac posted:

Lebanese food is great and the hardcore places make it clear that alcohol is not tolerated

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

wow cool arbitrary probations for literally no loving reason, thats going to keep these forums alive and fun

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
A loving amusement park

FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams
loving Walmart man, what the hell is wrong with you?

For gently caress's sake, acting like this all hard and poo poo.

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Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
enfield and garfield running naked thru a cornfield

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