|
And one plate- this gives me no choice but to do the dish(es). I see no need to own a glass- every liquid product I buy already comes in a can, bottle, or carton. All this also conserves precious dish-water. Toilet paper? Native Americans used the brains of an animal to tan it's skin. They believed each animal had just enough brains to tan it's own hide. Analogously, I have discovered that McDonald's gives you just enough napkins to wipe your rear end after pooping out their product. Also, you can wear your under twice as long if you turn them inside-out. Goons, got any other pathetic bachelor life-hacks?
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 15:54
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 01:32 |
|
|
lol you do the dishes. buy paper plates and plastic silverware yo half-rear end slob.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 16:02
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 16:02
|
|
|
britney spears voice*im a peeing in a bottle baby
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 16:06
|
|
|
save money on laundry and don't leave your apartment. buy a drying rack (like $20 on amazon or $10 if you're near an Ikea), a bucket, and a plunger (dollar store usually has bucket and plunger). put clothes in bucket with water and detergent. agitate them with the plunger for like 2 minutes. dump soapy water out, and refill with fresh water. do it again for 2 minutes. squeeze most of the water out, and put on drying rack. actually works half decent. i do this because i hate walking 5 blocks to the laundry mat where the local yokels are yammering on about dumb poo poo.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 16:07
|
|
|
I think bachelor and weirdo reclusive shut in are different things.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 16:09
|
|
|
jarjarbinksfan621 posted:save money on laundry and don't leave your apartment. buy a drying rack (like $20 on amazon or $10 if you're near an Ikea), a bucket, and a plunger (dollar store usually has bucket and plunger). That's actually a great hack. I'll try it. I use 5 gal plastic buckets for wastebaskets(free at the local dairy). Do laundry and wash out the wastebasket in one stroke. Can you do laundry in a dishwasher? I never use it. zimboe fucked around with this message at 16:14 on Jul 1, 2015 |
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 16:09
|
|
|
Giraffe posted:I think bachelor and weirdo reclusive shut in are different things. The difference diminishes with time.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 16:11
|
|
|
zimboe posted:That's actually a great hack. I'll try it. i made a thread about it but i got mad at everyonr and closed it but the general consensus is no
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 16:12
|
|
|
Enfield posted:i made a thread about it but i got mad at everyonr and closed it but the general consensus is no Why not? Does it destroy your clothes or destroy the dishwasher? Maybe a special wire holder or rack is needed. Or like a big sock-bag (a fine hack in itself).
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 16:16
|
|
|
Where is the thread, I think it was titled, "The most bachelor thing you've ever done", or something like that. That thread was hilarious. Can't find it though.
|
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 16:18
|
|
|
ReagaNOMNOMicks posted:lol you do the dishes. Paper plates collapse when loaded with hot chili 'n' beans, and plastic forks won't take the G-forces because I eat like Homer Simpson. ... Alternately, you can fold the plate like a taco and just whork it down. I have had to do this from time to time in the event of an emergency paper-plate collapse scenario. zimboe fucked around with this message at 17:27 on Jul 1, 2015 |
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 16:23
|
|
|
You don't need a toaster. Just pin the bread to the wall with your single fork, and toast it with a butane torch. You get great control over browning.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 16:25
|
|
|
A boxcutter makes an excellent steak knife. Can't find the enfoodment tool? Plan B- needle-nose pliers from the toolbox. You don't need a spoon neither- stir your coffee with a spent ball-point pen. zimboe fucked around with this message at 16:31 on Jul 1, 2015 |
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 16:29
|
|
|
zimboe posted:Paper plates collapse when loaded with hot chili 'n' beans, and plastic forks won't take the G-forces because I eat like Homer Simpson. About the plates the obvious solution is to stack them. With forks there's no obvious solution but maybe learn to use chopsticks?? need to investigate firther
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 16:44
|
|
|
My house is made of floating wood tile, and when I have to pee (I'm male) I get face down on the floor and stick my penis in a hole on the wood floor and pee. My dogs sleep under the house so everytime I do this I hope they don't bite or lick my junk.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 17:02
|
|
|
hot bachelor tip
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 17:03
|
|
|
if you put protein powder (like ON chocolate) in your morning coffee, you can make a mocha for cheep. then you get caffeine+protein boost and only have to wash one cup
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 17:03
|
|
|
Mr. Pumroy posted:hot bachelor tip wait that's Senator Chuck Grassley from Iowa?
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 17:06
|
|
|
In Italy they have a little tub with a tap where you sit to wash the poo poo off your rear end. Big investment upfront but after that you never have to buy toilet paper again.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 17:10
|
|
|
I've got one: Piss in the shower, why get out and drip all over, it all goes to the same place. I bet no one else has ever thought of that.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 17:13
|
|
|
piss out the window
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 17:15
|
|
|
Mange Mite posted:piss out the window
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 17:17
|
|
|
Mange Mite posted:piss out the window loving idiot noob. thats a waste of a good piss, you're literally pissing away piss!!! save it in a jar nad use it to water your indoor plants. never waste water on plants again.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 17:20
|
|
|
XMNN posted:My house is made of floating wood tile, and when I have to pee (I'm male) I get face down on the floor and stick my penis in a hole on the wood floor and pee. My dogs sleep under the house so everytime I do this I hope they don't bite or lick my junk.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 17:21
|
|
|
XMNN posted:My house is made of floating wood tile, and when I have to pee (I'm male) I get face down on the floor and stick my penis in a hole on the wood floor and pee. My dogs sleep under the house so everytime I do this I hope they don't bite or lick my junk. Way to specific for a fakepost
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 17:25
|
|
|
ReagaNOMNOMicks posted:Way to specific for a fakepost not his, but its a true goon post/story
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 17:26
|
|
|
When I got my ba I was broke and single so my apt at first job consisted of a mattress, folding chair and a shitload of expensive electronics; so I'd suggest allocating all funds that'd go to furniture/utensils/artwork to cool electronics poo poo.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 17:28
|
|
|
XMNN posted:My house is made of floating wood tile, and when I have to pee (I'm male) I get face down on the floor and stick my penis in a hole on the wood floor and pee. My dogs sleep under the house so everytime I do this I hope they don't bite or lick my junk. Better be sure only your dogs are down there. Rats, badgers, skunks, lynxes, will think "Hey, look at that delicious piece of hot fresh meat just dangling there!" CLAMP * YEOWCH ... Just piss in the yard like civilized folk do.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 17:34
|
|
|
yeah its from one of the old pyf bachelor threads they were a goldmine for stories like that http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3495187 eg I've had a boil on my taint for a few days and its been bugging the gently caress out of me. It hurt to sit, it hurt to poo poo, it hurt to do a lot of things. I tried scrubbing the area with alcohol, and then poking a pin through it, but it wasn't working. First squatting over a mirror and then propping the mirror up on a hamper full of dirty laundry. I tried the boiling bottle technique, but I don't think I was patient enough. So, today I had a great idea. I got out the antiseptics, and disinfectants, and the alcohol, and the vacuum. Its a Hoover wind tunnel since someone will ask. The first shot I didn't quite get it centred where I wanted it but it was still over the mark. Even though it was on that spot for maybe half a second there was still evil juices flowing from my taint. When I got it centred properly, and left it for several seconds I could practically feel the magic as the juices were flowing from my body and into the vacuum hose, coating the inside of it. I'm going to have a hard time making my vacuum not look like a crime scene. But relief is upon me!!
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 17:34
|
|
|
XMNN posted:yeah its from one of the old pyf bachelor threads they were a goldmine for stories like that Yikes. Go to the doc next time. That's a dangerous place to have an infection.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 17:36
|
|
|
zimboe posted:Do laundry and wash out the wastebasket in one stroke. Premature ejaculation issues? Well, just breath deeply.. perhaps think about Nanna or old Aunt Beryl.. and don't don't put yourself under too much pressure. You should manage to build up to two strokes in no time. Easing up on the pressure is the key! So.. perhaps loosening your grip a little bit will also help.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 17:48
|
|
|
XMNN posted:My house is made of floating wood tile, and when I have to pee (I'm male) I get face down on the floor and stick my penis in a hole on the wood floor and pee. My dogs sleep under the house so everytime I do this I hope they don't bite or lick my junk. That's an awfully small hole
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 18:29
|
|
|
Sailor Viy posted:In Italy they have a little tub with a tap where you sit to wash the poo poo off your rear end. Big investment upfront but after that you never have to buy toilet paper again. Wait is THAT what those were for I thought they were little water fountains! !!
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 18:41
|
|
|
grandpas drunk posted:Wait is THAT what those were for I thought they were little water fountains! !! Are you a screenwriter? I could have sworn I saw that mixup in countless movies and tv shows.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 18:47
|
|
|
it's called a bidet you plebeians
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 18:49
|
|
|
It always struck me as odd that a bidet is seen as such a classy thing when you have to poo poo then duck waddle over to it and hover your lovely butt over the water stream which doesn't seem like it would be enough to fully clean your rear end in a top hat.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 19:03
|
|
|
Xaris posted:if you put protein powder (like ON chocolate) in your morning coffee, you can make a mocha for cheep. then you get caffeine+protein boost and only have to wash one cup That'll make a turd
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 19:03
|
|
|
These are less bachelor hacks than pathetic manbaby hacks for people who should honestly still be living with their mother under court order after a lost competency hearing.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 19:51
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 01:32 |
|
|
I want to hear abotu more taint boils and vacuumed pus
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2015 20:10
|
|
