Bowcott Strongbow

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Bowcott Strongbow

squirrelzipper: Nov 2, 2011

Hobohemian posted:

I'm sure there are a variety of wine coolers and hard lemonades to replace cider availability for men with cats and girls too young to order a vodka tonic convincingly.

Vodka tonic? Wtf. Seriously? Have you never heard of Gin? A drink with actual flavour? I mean if your worried about your girlish figure vodka soda is fine but if you're pulling tonic at least get a good gin. loving hell.

# ? Jul 2, 2015 06:48

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 22:09

Ocean Book: Sep 27, 2010; - hi

i dont understand the emotional investment people have in what other people drink

# ? Jul 2, 2015 06:50

squirrelzipper: Nov 2, 2011

Ocean Book posted:

i dont understand the emotional investment people have in what other people drink

It's the thin end of a wedge man. The thin edge.

# ? Jul 2, 2015 06:51

basement jihadist: Oct 3, 2002

confrontation-- it's good for starting conversation - goon

# ? Jul 2, 2015 06:51

Ocean Book: Sep 27, 2010; - hi

wedge man

# ? Jul 2, 2015 06:52

Thunder Moose: Mar 7, 2015; S.J.C.

Wedges can be good. Cheese wedges are good!

# ? Jul 2, 2015 06:54

Iprazochrome: Nov 3, 2008

Strongbad was always bad

# ? Jul 2, 2015 08:13

Kitchner: Nov 9, 2012; IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER; Clapping Larry

Thunder Moose posted:

http://www.bevindustry.com/articles/87301-heineken-phases-out-original-strongbow-hard-cider-recipe-with-new-flavors

The nothing special, nothing awful, go to cider has been pulled in favor of "hip new flavors" which I guess is code for "sugary urine."

I've been new-Coked.

Sorry dude but strongbow is one of the most disgusting drinks ever and if you don't agree you've clearly never tasted a real cider.

# ? Jul 2, 2015 08:25

Aesop Poprock: Oct 21, 2008; Grimey Drawer

I know it's goony to exaggerate when things are bad but heinekan (the regular kind) always smelled and tasted like healthy watery pee to me

# ? Jul 2, 2015 08:29

Kitchner: Nov 9, 2012; IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER; Clapping Larry

Like the only time I was able to stomach strongbow was when I was out drinking with my new boss and I didn't have much money so I drank strongbow and black all night to stop it from tasting so much like cat piss.

Let's just say 12 pints later I'm throwing up purple all night and I'm vowing not to touch strongbow again no matter how cheap it is.

# ? Jul 2, 2015 08:50

hemale in pain: Jun 5, 2010

it turns out goon are hipster faggots trying to sound cool about what they drink

# ? Jul 2, 2015 09:03

XMNN: Apr 26, 2008; I am incredibly stupid

strongbow is for drinking big bottles in the woods with your 15 year old mates when youre also 15

americans are a degenerate race

# ? Jul 2, 2015 09:25

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

lol if you knock cider and drink budlight/miller/keystone/PBR

# ? Jul 2, 2015 10:22

Hammerite: Mar 9, 2007; And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.; Jade Ear Joe

stowford press is ok

# ? Jul 2, 2015 11:03

Jubs: Jul 11, 2006; Boy, I think it's about time I tell you the difference between a man and a woman. A woman isn't a woman unless she's pretty. And a man isn't a man unless he's ugly.

Chief Jay Strongbow is dead, you insensitive son of a bitch!

# ? Jul 2, 2015 11:15

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

When I was 14 I got drunk for the first time and vomited out a strongbow that was so pure it could legally be re-bottled and sold, it actually tasted better on the way out because it was hot.

Anyway magners or bulmers are okay, somersby if you like it sweet. Matso's desert lime with wild ginger cider is the best but might only be easily available in australia.

# ? Jul 2, 2015 11:53

Unbelievably Fat Man: Jun 1, 2000; Innocent people. I could never hurt innocent people.

Sokrateez posted:

Lol who the gently caress cares about cider

Drink a loving ipa like a real man

While riding your tandem bicycle and waxing your mustache

# ? Jul 2, 2015 12:10

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

Sokrateez posted:

Drink a loving ipa like a real man

Hell yeah, gonna impress the lads by drinking a delicate and fruity sissy beer while I've got four knuckles in me because my baby palette can't handle booze or any food that's not spaghetti-os.

# ? Jul 2, 2015 12:16

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

Hell yeah, gonna impress the lads by drinking a delicate and fruity sissy beer while I've got four knuckles in me because my baby palette can't handle booze or any food that's not spaghetti-os.

This is legitimately the reason why I drink cider, but replace spaghetti-os with salads and small portions of vegetables. I have both a baby palate and a baby stomach

Moon Atari fucked around with this message at 12:46 on Jul 2, 2015

# ? Jul 2, 2015 12:24

wilfredmerriweathr: Jul 11, 2005

actual good ciders:

most of the stuff from two towns, seattle cider is good too. Sociable is good if you can get it. Cascadia Ciderworkers United makes some loving bomb dry cider. There are others but I am blanking now.

woodchuck, angry orchard, blackthorn, all that big name poo poo is gross as gently caress

basically

XMNN posted:

strongbow is for drinking big bottles in the woods with your 15 year old mates when youre also 15

americans are a degenerate race

wilfredmerriweathr fucked around with this message at 13:15 on Jul 2, 2015

# ? Jul 2, 2015 13:11

DEAD MAN'S SHOE: Nov 23, 2003; We will become evil and the stars will come alive

If it's not Scrumpy, it gets cooked up at christmas. Thats them cider house rules

# ? Jul 2, 2015 13:28

Crazyeyes: Nov 5, 2009; If I were human, I believe my response would be: 'go to hell'.

My girlfriend has an unpleasant habit of, wherever we go, asking if they have angry orchard or cider. Like making a point of the fact that it's all she is interested in drinking. Pissed off many of my friends by doing this in their houses.

I used to like Woodchuck/angry orchard until I tasted better ciders and now I think they are waaaaaay too sweet (granny Smith varieties are bearable but not remotely ideal). Magners is a good fall back as it is readily available and pretty decent quality.

Lol if you give any fucks whatsoever about what other people drink. More nasty rear end IPA hop-slurry for you, I guess.

# ? Jul 2, 2015 13:34

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Drink whiskey you fags

# ? Jul 2, 2015 13:38

School Nickname: Apr 23, 2010; *fffffff-fffaaaaaaarrrtt*

Hard cider is nice and cheap to get shitfaced on when you're budgeting. However I do love me some good dry ciders like Aspalls or Stonewells as they're just amazing with food. I happily fall back to stouts if I can't get a cider that isn't magners.

# ? Jul 2, 2015 13:51

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

It is hard to try out new ciders because many microbreweries seem to think they can just try their hand at making a cider, and it turns out so bad that its difficult to tell if they have just added a couple drops of apple juice to some lovely beer.

# ? Jul 2, 2015 13:55

Crazyeyes: Nov 5, 2009; If I were human, I believe my response would be: 'go to hell'.

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Drink whiskey you fags

If I wanted to consume something that tasted like, and smells worse than, pressure treated lumber I'd go home depot.

Drink rum.

# ? Jul 2, 2015 13:55

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Rum works too

# ? Jul 2, 2015 13:59

FlimFlam Imam: Mar 1, 2007; Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams

This reminds me of the death of the wine cooler, the screams of little girls echoed through the lands.

# ? Jul 2, 2015 14:01

XMNN: Apr 26, 2008; I am incredibly stupid

Crazyeyes posted:

If I wanted to consume something that tasted like, and smells worse than, pressure treated lumber I'd go home depot.

Drink rum.

why not both

drink whatever gets you drunk just dont brag about it if its like blue wkd or cider for children

# ? Jul 2, 2015 14:04

Crazyeyes: Nov 5, 2009; If I were human, I believe my response would be: 'go to hell'.

Mad Monk posted:

This reminds me of the death of the wine cooler, the screams of little girls echoed through the lands.

Do they not make wine coolers anymore? If so that is a dumb thing to do.

# ? Jul 2, 2015 14:08

rezatahs: Jun 9, 2001; by Smythe

i only drink sweet white wines

# ? Jul 2, 2015 14:08

FlimFlam Imam: Mar 1, 2007; Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams

Crazyeyes posted:

Do they not make wine coolers anymore? If so that is a dumb thing to do.

I don't think so, I hated the drat things because they were very popular and took up half the drat beer cooler in all the stores.

# ? Jul 2, 2015 14:09

Count Freebasie: Jan 12, 2006

XMNN posted:

why not both

This guy gets it. Rum, bourbon, and scotch; my three favorite poisons.

Cider is one of those things once in a great while. Certainly not something I could drink regularly, but not bad in and of itself.

# ? Jul 2, 2015 14:11

XMNN: Apr 26, 2008; I am incredibly stupid

rezatahs posted:

i only drink sweet white wines

for christmas one year me and my flatmate bought a bottle of the cheapest dessert wine we could find. it tasted like perfume.

wasnt too bad after finishing off most of the slightly fancier port by lunchtime though

fortified wine is a smart choice, dirt cheap and sweet-disgusting instead of industrial chemical-disgusting, mix it with lemonade and you cant even taste it

# ? Jul 2, 2015 14:14