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The short of it: I have neglected a fuller life in favour of living like a shut-in that can pay the bills. I have qualifications in computing and economics but, because of my tendency to procrastinate and hide, I have used neither. List with colons Age: 36. I look about 8 or 10 years younger but that means nothing on paper. Qualifications: Computing Diploma, Economics Degree Current job: £17,000 ($26,000) after tax PA from a secure but miserable job in customer services. Savings: £8,000 ($12,000) and pension plan Others: A hobbyist's experience in programming. Spanish (average). No track record in anything related to my qualifications - maybe a bunch of bash or functional programming scripts here and there. My big E/N Life story I was mainly raised by my Mother, an extreme narcissist with untreated Schizoaffective Bipolar Disorder who did not teach me how to socialise well or notice my resulting isolation and victimisation throughout my school years. Everyone in the family was dominated by the pressure that my mother's illness and personality (they're practically intertwined) brought to bear on the family, including my Mother's boyfriend who was bullied by her and bullied me in turn. Whenever I got in front of a computer, I would spend hours and hours with it, just playing games for days on end to get a faint sense of reward and to shut myself off from an environment in which I had no power, hope or friends. This was up until the age of 14, when I moved in with my father who, while unable to connect with me or help me deal with what had happened to me, finally gave me a stable non-insane environment where I was not bullied. I still had to attend Secondary School (11-16) though, and instead of escaping into consuming computer games I escaped into consuming music. Despite doing well (but not brilliantly) in both Humanities and Sciences, I was pushed without explanation by my mother into focusing on Sciences in Sixth Form (16-19) in the hope I would become an engineer of some kind. However, I still only wanted to get away from a life that I had come to associate with imprisonment and isolation. During this time while I was no longer bullied and even made friends, my computer game and media addictions segued into internet use. This coping mechanism was only suitable for sustaining a life of depressed isolation, and did nothing to help me 'break out' further. I flunked out of Sixth Form, and through coffee-shop jobs and the goth club scene (of course), tried to socialise and develop further but had none of the basic skills, confidence or self-respect required. I became depressed and self-harmed, but got no attention from anyone I could have trusted to open up to. I found an unqualified, isolating job behind a desk and spent even more time on the internet, before before returning to University to obtain a computing diploma. This should have been better than Sixth Form except I spent even more time with games and the Internet than before. I just about scraped this, was not confident in being able to parlay this into a job in the IT sector, and went back to low-qualified janitorial and customer-services jobs (coincidentally in the educational field). I realised about 6 or 7 years ago that I should get A Degree, so I went to night school to scrape an undergraduate degree in Economics, simply because it seemed like the most interesting and mysterious thing at the time. On the more positive side, I also found time to learn a second language and see a behavioural therapist. I don't think I'm anywhere near finished bringing myself up but I can almost accept my introversion at this point. Thanks to therapy I've learned not to fear others and to stand up for myself but this has led me to butting heads with my superiors. After reading up on the real-world discussions in The Economics Megathread and the facts of a tech-based career in The Newbie Programming Job Megathread I feel ready to dig a hole and go lie in it forever, or become a talentless artist. /life story =================================================== The question is, what the gently caress kind of decent work can I do or get with this lovely CV? What the gently caress kind of life is viable at this point? Should my priorities lie elsewhere or, while hiding from the world, have I basically run out of time? I want to believe I'm being a drama queen but I'm lost and need help to look at the truth of my situation and have nobody to turn to. stillnest fucked around with this message at 04:34 on Jul 2, 2015 |
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Jul 2, 2015 04:31
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stillnest posted:The question is, what the gently caress kind of decent work can I do or get with this lovely CV? What the gently caress kind of life is viable at this point? Should my priorities lie elsewhere or, while hiding from the world, have I basically run out of time? A lot of E/N content but the best thing is that you're accepting being introverted. That's not an issue as understanding yourself helps a lot. The goth scene does have a lot of people who are in the same boat, but tends to have a lot of drama as well so it's not always that helpful. Provided you have consistent work or study that shows you have been doing something the whole time that's a positive thing. You could have applied for IT work. There are plenty of jobs that even a 1 year course would be a chance to get some work in the field. Don't expect to know a lot heading into a job like that anyway, that's not an issue provided you learn the job as you do it. You have nothing to lose when it comes to applying for better paying jobs, if you get the job then your situation is improved. A lot of employers are looking for people who can do the job and age is not a factor for most. Your economics degree also shows that you are capable of learning and will have basic research/report writing skills. I don't recommend hiding out and not doing anything, or becoming an artist. All the talented artists I know seem to have perfected the art of suffering, especially if they aren't working. Working and using your spare time for art is more viable.
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Jul 2, 2015 05:34
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Entry level is entry level. I feel like this post is a big whiny excuse not to do anything. Your lovely CV is better than probably 80% of the population and you aren't as far behind as you think you are An entry level computing job is still entry level if your 36. Just apply and interview, if it's truly entry level then you aren't really expected to know anything. Yeah, it's not going to be the best job in the world but you, and they, know it's just a stepping stone. You can't come in at the top into a full fledged career just because you're old. You have to come in at the bottom because, by your own admission, you don't know anything. So? Come in at the bottom then. It's still miles better than working retail and service positions. I transitioned from near minimum wage service industry and sales clerk positions to high end engineering design work in my mid 30's. It's not impossible but it does take effort and a willingness to take poo poo to get your foot in the door. Even then the rear end end of a real career is miles and miles better than stocking shelves and running a register. You have to do the work and you have to learn though, it's not going to be handed to you. Building a career is what happens after you've strung several jobs together over a number of years. No one starts off with a career. One of the big topics of the last few decades is that there are not enough people with STEM degrees around to do all the work that needs doing. There is plenty of work for you to do, go do it. Murgos fucked around with this message at 13:52 on Jul 2, 2015 |
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Jul 2, 2015 13:42
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how is your math? with economics and some programming background you could look into learning R and SQL. you are right in that getting a good programming job is probably beyond you right now you could very easily get a well paid analyst position if you can figure out how to write basic database queries with SQL and generate pretty graphs with R ignore the newbie programming thread in CoC, everyone there acts like google is the only employer worth talking about but there's 10000 jobs in software for every job at google
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Jul 4, 2015 00:13
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Go on GitHub and Stack Overflow and start coding, if you're any good that will help a lot. I would agree skills wise on being an analyst, but that will be harder to break into to be honest.
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Jul 4, 2015 16:30
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Murgos posted:An entry level computing job is still entry level if your 36. Just apply and interview, if it's truly entry level then you aren't really expected to know anything. Yeah, it's not going to be the best job in the world but you, and they, know it's just a stepping stone. This. I've been there. It sucks being in an entry level tech position surrounded by coworkers ten years younger who were luckier in life than you, but you get over it. Work your rear end off and study up on the side to continually increase your knowledge about whatever job you end up in and you'll distinguish yourself. A big component about tech is always learning, always staying abreast of new advancements and possibilities. A lot of people get comfortable with their knowledge level and quickly stagnate in this industry. The fact that you put yourself through school and learned a second language shows you know how to learn as an adult. By the time most people are in their mid 30s they've forgotten how to do that, so keep that spirit fresh and it will do wonders for you. Embrace the fact that you'll be entry level in a new field for a while. Forward movement is forward movement no matter the speed. A few years from now you can look back and think yeah, it sucked but I'm glad I pushed through it because now I'm in a better place in life. Or you can hide away and in a few years kick yourself for never starting the entry level job.
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Jul 7, 2015 04:44
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Hey bro, gently caress these nerds who say its ok to accept being introverted. You need to get out of your shell immediately. You need to recognize that people are actually not scary at all. Yeah rejection can still feel like pain but choose to be courageous and you will achieve beyond your wildest dreams. You are in a great position to pick up a skill and to become seriousyl committed to success. Of course, only you can follow through on this. Right now, I think finding a job as a cars salesman whether used or new is going to do you best. You'll make 25k+ in your first year so long as you show up to work. If you do something crazy like buy Grant Cardone's books for $25 each, and get the audio book versions btw, you will put yourself in a position to laugh at people who only make $50k a year (although you won't want to laugh at them. you will be making so much more than them that you may be tempted). Truer words never been spoken. Get out of this bitch shell you're in. Goto the loving gym, the feeling of using your muscles and your body will literally change your entire cognitive atmosphere and alter your mindstate. Ignore these pussy bitches who surf forums and want you to stay a little bitch introvert get real big kids.
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Jul 13, 2015 09:02
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You can see that your other options are to be an entry level something or other that caps out after 20 years (right before you get laid off for being old) with experience at a salary of below $80k. Its better to earn your money by being a real loving G hustler get to work and submerge yourself in the Grant Cardon koolaid. No joke. Get to it. I'd say PM me for more but no one bought me the upgrade yet.
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Jul 13, 2015 09:05
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