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ghlbtsk
Apr 19, 2005

these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS
I had five people tell me to "have a nice holiday" as I was leaving work today.

"So when did you start hating America?" I retorted. "It's not a 'holiday', it's Independence Day. You know: the reason you're standing here today and not praising Chairman Mao while toiling away in the rice mines of Southern New China. I suppose you're all going to turn your backs on the Founding Fathers by doing something completely unrelated like pool parties, barbecues and fireworks. Every true American knows the proper way to honor the origins of the greatest nation that has ever existed on Earth: First, contract gout, syphilis and dysentery and do whatever necessary to give yourself an excruciating toothache. Next, dress in several layers of the densest, tightest, itchiest wool clothing imaginable and travel several hours by horse-drawn carriage over rough, dusty roads to a building in the noisy, horrible-smelling city where a hundred other miserable and uncomfortable wretches you hate are gathered in a humid, stifling room with no air conditioning on a 95 degree day. Lastly, you must all remain in this room until you come to an agreement by a 2/3 majority on what to order for lunch (or dinner, depending on how long the process drags on). That is how you celebrate this holiday.'

They all pretended to be confused as I walked away but I knew their game. To subtly shift the national consciousness toward hot dogs and beer and suntan lotion and new SUVs and away from the "Independence" part of the greatest celebration of the year: Independence Day!

:patriot::patriot::patriot::patriot::patriot::patriot::patriot::patriot::patriot::patriot:

POST YOUR FLAGGIEST PICS

ghlbtsk fucked around with this message at 04:16 on Jul 4, 2015

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a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

gj op show those terrorists who'se boss

ghlbtsk
Apr 19, 2005

these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS
Come to think of it, I didn't say any of those things.
I think I just muttered "you too" and slinked away.

:911:

Tenacious J
Nov 20, 2002

Thunder Moose
Mar 7, 2015

S.J.C.
Stay safe Independence Day.

CISMALES DID 9-11
Jun 5, 2002

chaotic good STEM major; INTJ
come on op

Immortan
Jun 6, 2015

by Shine

Even without this guy Independence Day II is going to loving own.

Panamaniac
Jun 18, 2007

HEROES NEVER DIE

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



:ussr:

Tighclops
Jan 23, 2008

Unable to deal with it


Grimey Drawer

Immortan posted:

Even without this guy Independence Day II is going to loving own.

Brent Spiner is back even though his character died in the first one

Sweaty IT Nerd
Jul 13, 2007

Thunder Moose posted:

Stay safe Independence Day.

Panamaniac
Jun 18, 2007

HEROES NEVER DIE

ghlbtsk
Apr 19, 2005

these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS

Sizone
Sep 13, 2007

by LadyAmbien

Phobic Nest
Oct 2, 2013

You Are My Sunshine

The Fattest PI
Mar 4, 2008
I have american flag underwear but not because I'm patriotic, I just leave a lot of skid marks and that's what the flag deserves.

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry
"I REFUSE TO BE TAXED TO THE AMOUNT THAT EQUALS A FEW PENNIES IN THE MODERN AGE WITHOUT BEING PRESENT!"

(Starts a bloody revolution against ugly people)

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!
Lipstick Apathy
America is good and cool. Happy 4th y'all!

Seaniqua
Mar 12, 2004

"We'll see how the first year goes. But people better get us now, because we're going to keep getting better and better."
the war on independence day was the american revolution

Seaniqua
Mar 12, 2004

"We'll see how the first year goes. But people better get us now, because we're going to keep getting better and better."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-m0F188EGJM

Sono
Apr 9, 2008




<----

Mathlete
Nov 30, 2005

It's hip to be a squared square.

Ive got just the pole for that flag!!! :wiggle:

zimboe
Aug 3, 2012

FIRST EBOLA GOON AVOID ALL POSTS SPEWING EBLOA SHIT POSTS EVERWHERE
I'm literally retarded

Oh, what a cutie.

Father Wendigo
Sep 28, 2005
This is, sadly, more important to me than bettering myself.



Oh wait, fLaggiest? The gently caress does that even mean?

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Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
fireworks n bbq day

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