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dogcrash truther
Nov 2, 2013
I ask because this guy



lit a mortar off of his head and killed himself. I figure goons must have some good stories though.

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Inevitable
Jul 27, 2007

by Ralp
I lit a mortar off my head and killed myself.


so should you.

Nefarious
Sep 26, 2000

by XyloJW
i love too shot bottle rockets out my peehole :banjo:

BigBoss
Jan 26, 2012

by Lowtax
"hold my beer"

thathonkey
Jul 17, 2012
we would have roman candle battles as kids. it's what it sounds like. it's a miracle nobody was ever hurt.

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry
nothing because i was taught healthy respect for fireworks and not be a dumbass redneck lighting them off in my pocket or in a pile of dry brush

Cool NIN Shirt
Nov 26, 2007

by vyelkin
I bought a real big, sketchy looking mortar type firework for like $90. The dude who sold it to me told me to light it and "run like hell"

Well I got so drunk that I ended up lighting it while holding it from chest level, aiming it at the sky. Had it misfired or exploded I would have been in trouble.

Everyone told me it was really cool looking but I don't even remember

Nickelback Concert
Apr 28, 2015
Roman candles melt steel.

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
when i was a teen my friends and i would buy roman candels and shoot them at each other in the park, well drunk/high. we called them "minor wands of magic missile"

DicktheCat
Feb 15, 2011

thathonkey posted:

we would have roman candle battles as kids. it's what it sounds like. it's a miracle nobody was ever hurt.

You haven't lived unless you have had pyrotechnic battles with your friends.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Making my own because we're not allowed to have them here. Still have all of my fingers.

pathetic little tramp
Dec 12, 2005

by Hillary Clinton's assassins
Fallen Rib

dogcrash truther posted:

I ask because this guy



lit a mortar off of his head and killed himself. I figure goons must have some good stories though.

according to reports, he said something like 'ascendio patronum!' before it went off

Cool NIN Shirt
Nov 26, 2007

by vyelkin

pathetic little tramp posted:

according to reports, he said something like 'ascendio patronum!' before it went off

The headline is favorably written, to say the least:

quote:

Maine man dies after accidentally launching firework off his head

Doesn't seem like anything was accidental, short of him dying of course

huskarl_marx
Oct 13, 2013

by zen death robot
yea it should have read maine man dies after predictably misunderstanding the force required to fire an object hundreds of feet into the air

huskarl_marx
Oct 13, 2013

by zen death robot
to be fair, being a male between the ages of 18 and 25 is essentially a 7 year long suicide attempt that typically results in many offspring

ashgromnies
Jun 19, 2004
once someone threw firecrackers in my room at 2 am when i was sleeping so i shot a roman candle in theirs and caught their bed on fire, woops

Lonely Virgil
Oct 9, 2012

Lost fingat.

a creepy colon
Oct 28, 2004

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

huskarl_marx
Oct 13, 2013

by zen death robot
haha well a fireworks charge is better than a destructive device charge

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

didnt buy any one year

Deadbeat Poetry
Mar 6, 2004

Sorry if my costume scared you

dogcrash truther posted:

lit a mortar off of his head and killed himself. I figure goons must have some good stories though.

A guy in my area did this last year, except it was on his chest

He dead as hell

computer parts
Nov 18, 2010

PLEASE CLAP
A football player just blew off his hand days before signing his multi-million dollar contract.

penus penus penus
Nov 9, 2014

by piss__donald
i played with a looooooooot of fireworks but I never did anything stupid OP sorry. worst, yet probably most fun, thing was using pringles cans as "rocket launchers" and see how large a bottle rocket you could put it in (while holding itof course). sometimes id shoot these out my window too

Deadbeat Poetry
Mar 6, 2004

Sorry if my costume scared you

computer parts posted:

A football player just blew off his hand days before signing his multi-million dollar contract.

:stare:

Suicide here he comes

penus penus penus
Nov 9, 2014

by piss__donald

Savings Coupon posted:

:stare:

Suicide here he comes

options are pretty limited with no hands lol. hope he can jump real high to get over otherwise simple barriers near bridges and buildings

tao of lmao
Oct 9, 2005

A bottle rocket hit me in the stomach as a kid. I was kinda deaf the next day. It wasn't my fault though, some idiot threw one into a campfire and it fired out directly at me.

dogcrash truther
Nov 2, 2013

MinorLeagueAllstar posted:

A bottle rocket hit me in the stomach as a kid. I was kinda deaf the next day. It wasn't my fault though, some idiot threw one into a campfire and it fired out directly at me.

I hope someone whupped his rear end!

EXTREME INSERTION
Jun 4, 2011

by LadyAmbien

pathetic little tramp posted:

according to reports, he said something like 'ascendio patronum!' before it went off

Lol

dogcrash truther
Nov 2, 2013
A guy I know set his bed on fire with a mortar he got by letting his friend kick him in the nuts

dogcrash truther
Nov 2, 2013
Another guy I know started a forest fire with a bottle rocket that he was trying to shoot at a passing train when he was 13. He wasn't found out

Cool NIN Shirt
Nov 26, 2007

by vyelkin

huskarl_marx posted:

yea it should have read maine man dies after predictably misunderstanding the force required to fire an object hundreds of feet into the air

well since the object was self-propelled i don't think that would apply. It must have exploded or something.

For all we know, he put it in his butt lol

Bishop
Aug 15, 2000
Have bottle rocket duels where you take ten paces, turn, and shoot your friend

Most dangerous was Putting welding gas and oxygen in balloons, attach helium balloons and a toilet paper fuse, light and release. Dialing in the proper fuse length was tense and occasionally deafening

Bishop fucked around with this message at 01:50 on Jul 6, 2015

STABASS
Apr 18, 2009

Fun Shoe
I set of a firework in a state in which fireworks are illegal (but luckily said prohibition is not enforced)

ColoradoCleric
Dec 26, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
paid money for them, literally lighting your money on fire

Necros
Jul 23, 2003

i shot a bottle rocket at a deer out of the passenegers side of my friends truck. the deer freaked out and ran right at me. it broke the mirror and it came through the open window and headbutted me.

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum
you can fit a shitload of bottle rockets in your charcoal chimney and then stick some newspaper under it, light the paper and have a good time


and which football player blew up he hand?

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum
holy poo poo, jpp?!?!!


well that loving sucks for him

DStecks
Feb 6, 2012


would

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

DStecks posted:

would blow him

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skeletonotherkin
Sep 26, 2014

I never attended goon camp, but didn't some retarded wear a helmet covered in lit fire works?

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