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INTRO *CAIRO, EGYPT* An anatomically incorrect pterodactyl perches atop a pyramid and lets out a wilhelm scream. *Minnesota or some poo poo* Our hero is playing ball with his boy when his hot Caucasian wife calls him to come watch the NEWS.
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 19:44 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2024 11:40 |
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The hero announces he is gay Roll credits
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 19:45 |
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Stop being such a loving nerd and watch the dinosaurs eat people.
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 19:45 |
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I want to see a dinosaur eat a house wife. Yellow dress and pearls. It will make my day if jimmy buffet will be the hero.
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 20:11 |
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*looks at wreckage of the statue of liberty* you blew it up! you drat dinosaurs! you blew it all to hell!
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 20:23 |
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Edgar posted:I want to see a dinosaur eat a house wife. Yellow dress and pearls. It will make my day if jimmy buffet will be the hero. I want to see Jimmy Buffet, eat a house wife, the size of a dinosaur.
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 20:25 |
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i want to see a dinosaur put on a hat and dance around
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 20:27 |
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Mozi posted:i want to see a dinosaur put on a hat and dance around there you go! There are dinosaurs all over the place. You just have to go outside
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 20:31 |
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HOLY poo poo
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 20:33 |
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Decebal posted:there you go! There are dinosaurs all over the place. You just have to go outside Even combed it's hair
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 20:44 |
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VendaGoat posted:I want to see Jimmy Buffet, eat a house wife, the size of a dinosaur. Yes! At the utah hogle zoo, they have robot dinossurs
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 20:47 |
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Las Vegas: an overweight and disheveled looking axl rose, accompanied by a substandard group of session musicians, half-heartedly goes through the motions of performing some classic gnr hits. the camera pans to axl's point of view where we see a packed house filled with velociraptors. the raptors look annoyed with the quality of the show.
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 20:50 |
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:Las Vegas: You're gonna die!
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 20:52 |
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VendaGoat posted:You're gonna die!
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 20:53 |
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Disney buys the rights characters and dinosaurs break into song every 20 minutes
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 21:15 |
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Cracked_Gear posted:Disney buys the rights Death scenes where you see is nothing but shadows
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 21:19 |
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15 minute slow motion zoom in on a Mercedes symbol
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 21:27 |
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Young couple is having nasty pre-martial sex. Guy: "Ohh baby you're so good" Girl: "SKREEE!!" The camera changes angle to reveal that a velociraptor has killed the girl and is now giving the guy a freaky dinosaur handjob. The camera fades as the raptor begins eating the guy.
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 21:32 |
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what if the park is the dinosaur??
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 21:33 |
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Roy posted:Young couple is having nasty pre-martial sex. PG13
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 21:38 |
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*THE MIDDLE EAST* Terrorists have created their own Dinosaurus Rex.
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 21:41 |
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The camera rushes through tall grass, bobbing to give the impression you're seeing a human's field of vision. A reptilian foot stamps down, long talons on each of the three legs. The camera slowly pans up to reveal a chicken cocking it's head. Cut to a shot of the chicken picking up a beetle and eating it. Alan Grant: Why do you have these things? They're like...they're like raptors except worse. Jeff Goldblum: Alan Grant, despite everything I believe in, I own them because it gives me the illusion of control over something similar to my most frightful memories. Sometimes to live with the truth, you have to let yourself believe the lie. [Alan Grant's iPhone 6 rings] Alan Grant: ugh, Ellie insisted I get one of these. How do you...there. Hello? [garbled voice] Alan Grant: You want me to go where...? I...why would she...yes. I'm on my way. [Alan Grant looks at Jeff Goldbum with a look of seeing the ghost] Alan Grant: Lex... Jeff Goldblum: I'm going with you. [cut to dinosaur island] Chris 'Raptor' Pratt: Welcome to the remnants of Jurassic World. Nice to meet you, Dr. Alan Grant. Mr. Jeff Goldblum. Alan Grant: where is Lex, the ltitle girl? Chris 'Raptor' Pratt: She's no little girl anymore, Alan Grant. She's a grown woman with big boobies. It's been twenty-four years after all since you last saw her Alan Grant: We've got to save her no matter the costs Jeff Goldblum: Alan, could she survive? She's been here before but with what kinds of dinosaurs they made...ankylosaurus, gallimimus, pterodons? Chris 'Raptor' Pratt: If anyone could survive, it's Lex. She's got a strength in her...a fire I haven't seen in years. The darkness and fear that she's held inside for years, bound by a legally binding NDA...it forged a fury and a strength with a hunger for adventure. With the team we have, and her moxy and tenacity, she'll be alright. Alan Grant: Speaking of teams, is it just us? Chris 'Raptor' Pratt: Actually, I have one more person you may be interested to see. [a woman walks up] Sattler Jr.: My name is Sattler Jr. I'm Ellie's daughter Jeff Goldbum: Hello there I'm jeff goldblum. How'd you like to hear about chaos theory and how anything can happen, even if you initially decide against it? this is all I got so far thanks
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 21:55 |
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Needs a sassy female role played by Girl's star and famous molestor Lena Dunham
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 21:59 |
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Replace t-wrecks scream with the child like delight scream of the unix park programmer newman.
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 22:07 |
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Instead of Dino DNA, Dino I-Am-Gay
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 22:28 |
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Frijolero posted:Instead of Dino DNA, Dino I-Am-Gay CockASoarAss Rex
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 22:29 |
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tyranna-saur-us rex no, wait
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 22:31 |
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Aeris dies.
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# ? Jul 7, 2015 02:49 |
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were there any black dinosaurs? aside from ankylosaurus because lol obviously black there
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# ? Jul 7, 2015 02:50 |
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crossover with planet of the apes jurassic world vs. the planet of the apes
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# ? Jul 7, 2015 02:52 |
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king kong fights the king of lizards from that journey to the center of the earth movie. Why don't they glue wings and horns on poor lizards anymore in movies?
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# ? Jul 7, 2015 03:02 |
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A rival company finally gets its hands on the can of embryos stolen by dennis nedry in the original film and uses it to clone dinosaurs for a rival mainland park. However what they didn't realise is that the dying nedry's blood had contaminated the embryos with his genetic material and all their dinos turn out to be horrible wayne knight dinosaur hybrids with voracious insatiable appetites. The nedrysaurs run rampant in a very Gremlins-esque horror comedy mix. At one point jerry Seinfeld is air dropped in as part of a plan to use him as bait but he is swallowed whole by a flying nedry-pteranodon and realises in his final moments that he is the airline food, saying "whats the deal with..." right as the dinos mouth snaps shut.
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# ? Jul 7, 2015 03:59 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2024 11:40 |
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A chronicle of the life of a wealthy iguanadon that serves as an allegory for Randolf Hearst. The plot is framed by a biographer who is attempting to dicipher the meaning of his mysterious last words, "rose bud."
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# ? Jul 7, 2015 04:11 |