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I've been in the process of watching the whole series, and I'm up to 7 now, so here goes: Hellraiser - A legitimately good movie! Wow, who would have thought? Hellraiser 2 - Goofy as poo poo with some of the worst puppets I've ever seen, but entertaining in kind of a Labyrinth-y way. The doctor cenobite's puns make everything worthwhile. Hellraiser 3 - Very dumb. Splitting the only recognizable character in the series into good and evil Pinheads was a markedly poor decision. Still some cool Cenobites, though (DJ cenobite is arguably the best character in the series) Hellraiser 4 - We've hit peak stupidity. There's so many pointless plotlines going on and none of them connects to anything else. There's a plotline about cenobites on a space station, there's one about an 18th century French toymaker, as well as a totally disconnected modern day plot line in there, and none of it is good. It feels like they had three equally terrible ideas for a sequel and instead of picking one just threw them all in together. Definitely worth watching just to marvel at what the gently caress they thought they were doing, though. Hellraiser 5 - Hidden gem! Seriously, this is another legitimately good movie. It's a lot more toned down than the last 3 and feels more like Hellraiser 1 than any of the others in the series. It's really atmospheric, and weirdly enough the plot turns out to basically be the same as Silent Hill 2, like almost to the letter, even thought this came out a year before. If you want a proper follow up to the first movie, pick this one. Hellraiser 6 - Back to being unwatchably bad. This one is almost a complete retread of 5 except it's handled incompetently from start to finish. Most of the movie consists of a character warily walking down hallways. Don't bother even if you like the dumb Hellraiser entries; it's ungodly boring. Wampa Stompa fucked around with this message at 17:24 on Jul 8, 2015 |
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Jul 8, 2015 17:20
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Wampa Stompa posted:I've been in the process of watching the whole series, and I'm up to 7 now, so here goes: Hellraiser 4 was supposed to go in chronological order, setting the mood and creeping us out until the big Pinhead reveal in the last act. Producers decided they needed pinhead in the beginning, so they chopped it all up and showed it out of order
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Jul 8, 2015 17:42
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The first two Hellraisers were great fun, the third one was awful and I gave up after that. Nightbreed is still a favorite, and Midnight Meat Train was entertaining as all getout. I love his books and his artwork because I can't seem to get enough sexy gore. There was a kickstarter last year for a new art book of his, and I learned that he had a brush with death about 2 years ago when he got Toxic Shock Syndrome from a trip to the dentist (wtf) and ended up in a coma and had a couple strokes thrown in for good measure. You can watch an interview he did here where he talks about it. That poor man has been put through the wringer, it makes me sad. I've just started the Scarlet Gospels and so far I'm enjoying it, now I'm definitely looking forward to the DBZ ending, it should be a hoot.
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Jul 8, 2015 18:09
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They need to do a new Hellraiser with all the hellish modern Internet fetishes. The original cenobites would be sitting at their own table at the hell cafeteria with all the rest of the leatherfreak sadomasochists trying not to make eye contact with the table of Furry mlp anime adult baby monsters just screaming and making GBS threads all over everything. Pinhead just cries into his hands softly, remembering simpler times.
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Jul 8, 2015 18:09
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Arkanomen posted:They need to do a new Hellraiser with all the hellish modern Internet fetishes. The original cenobites would be sitting at their own table at the hell cafeteria with all the rest of the leatherfreak sadomasochists trying not to make eye contact with the table of Furry mlp anime adult baby monsters just screaming and making GBS threads all over everything. Pinhead just cries into his hands softly, remembering simpler times. Hellraiser 7 or 8 was about people on the internet turning cenobite worship into a fetish.
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Jul 8, 2015 18:19
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82-minute Pinhead ASMR
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Jul 8, 2015 18:58
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Wampa Stompa posted:(DJ cenobite is arguably the best character in the series) Nah, that's the fat one from 1 and 2
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Jul 8, 2015 19:25
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Hellraiser 5 started life as a totally different horror movie and they crammed Pinhead into it. So no wonder its good.
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Jul 8, 2015 20:01
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happyhippy posted:Hellraiser 5 started life as a totally different horror movie and they crammed Pinhead into it. Isn't that true of like 3 of them?
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Jul 8, 2015 20:41
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Why cookie Rocket posted:Isn't that true of like 3 of them? Definitely true about the one with Lance Henriksen.
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Jul 8, 2015 20:46
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 apparently this guy with the shades is the leader in the novel and pinhead is his bitch quote:In the original novel that Hellraiser was based on, Butterball was the leader of the Cenobites and more talkative, with Pinhead as his subordinate. lul
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Jul 8, 2015 21:00
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Yeah and he wears those shades cuz he sewed his eyes shut. Oh, and something about Pinhead talking all high pitched too.
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Jul 8, 2015 21:07
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Mr.Pibbleton posted:Best Hellraiser. http://www.channel101.com/episode/430 Just spent the whole day watching channel 101 again.
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Jul 8, 2015 21:22
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Nightbreed! I used to walk past that VHS, pick it up, look at all the pictures, re-read the synopsis and then put it back because I was 8 and couldn't rent it. Every single time I went to the supermarket. I don't know why but it fascinated me and I completely forgot about it until just now. You should watch it. It's good. Not great! Just good.
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Jul 8, 2015 22:12
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I saw Lords of Illusion uncut at a european horror film festival. It was pretty cool. Also I was super baked at the time.
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Jul 8, 2015 22:17
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TheJoker138 posted:For real though, it's the newest one, Revelations. It was basically an ashcan movie made only so the studio would keep the rights, was made in less than a month, and was so bad even Doug Bradley, who had played Pinhead in every single one before it, refused to come back because he thought it would hurt the good name of the franchise. That movie owns based solely on the fact that Pinhead kills a dude in it with
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Jul 8, 2015 23:27
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1>2>5>6>4>7>3>8 Haven't watched the one without doug bradley. I remember the marketing said something like "From the mind of Clive Barker" and he tweeted "this isn't even from the rear end in a top hat of clive barker". 1 is amazing, 2 is interesting if kinda flawed, 5 is basically Jacob's Ladder with cenobites and some legit creepy poo poo, 6 is basically 5 with the girl from the first one, 4 was a really good idea but really badly executed and the rest are pretty much dogshit. 8 has the cenobites running an MMO in which players unlock the lament configuration box or something, I can't remember much except feeling really bad for Lance Henriksen.
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Jul 8, 2015 23:37
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djwetmouse posted:Just spent the whole day watching channel 101 again. holy cow that looks promising, where does a guy even start with this thing
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Jul 8, 2015 23:40
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Why cookie Rocket posted:holy cow that looks promising, where does a guy even start with this thing I just watch everything made by Dan Harmon, some legitimate funny joke and you can see each of his series falling apart.
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Jul 9, 2015 00:04
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KIRSTY! TIFFANY! KIRSTY! TIFFANY! KIRSTY! TIFFANY! KIRSTY! TIFFANY! KIRSTY! TIFFANY! KIRSTY! TIFFANY! KIRSTY! TIFFANY! KIRSTY! TIFFANY! KIRSTY! TIFFANY! KIRSTY! TIFFANY! KIRSTY! TIFFANY! KIRSTY! TIFFANY! KIRSTY! TIFFANY! KIRSTY! TIFFANY! KIRSTY! TIFFANY! KIRSTY! TIFFANY!
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Jul 9, 2015 00:05
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ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:KIRSTY! Same
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Jul 9, 2015 00:08
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ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:KIRSTY! *summons chains and rips ur skin off*
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Jul 9, 2015 01:50
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Quote-Unquote posted:1>2>5>6>4>7>3>8 I would agree 100% with this ranking, and I'm a big Hellraiser nerd. Part 9 is probably middle of the pack story wise, wedged right around 4 on that ranking list, but the production values are absolute bottom barrel. Like, the story actually feels like something out of the old Hellraiser comics with all the self-contained stories of people effing with boxes and getting torn up for it. Also they actually have a plot that brings back some of the non-cenobite story elements from the first two films. But on the other hand the guys who made it were pretty much beforehand only known for making fan films and well, it looks like all the Weinsteins did was give them a distribution deal for their next fan film, as that's totally where the production values land. Part 8 is SO SO SO much worse, and is probably the most hamfisted of the attempts to shoehorn in Hellraiser into a pre-completed script. Pinhead's barely in it, and the ending reveals that It was all drug induced hallucinations by the main characters who are obsessed with a Hellraiser MMO. Lance Henrikson, who blamed them for his son, their friend, dying an accidental death causes everything, then at the end opens up the box in a hotel room revealing the REAL Pinhead! DUH-DUH-DUNNN!!. It's really, really terrible. the newest one is just mediocre. As I said, I'm a big ol Hellraiser nerd, so I sought out the spin-off comics to the ones mentioned earlier where Barker made a team of superheroes to fight the Cenobites. It's hilarious because it's only six issues long, and the heroes are absolutely terrible at their jobs, quickly deciding to just quit after the body count gets too high. And it's played dead serious. It's called The Harrowers if you're interested in looking for them. It was part of the "Razorwire" line Marvel did with Barker after the Hellraiser books folded. They're of uneven quality but they have some fun ideas in them. Unfortunately they all end rather abruptly as the line never really took off. I think Ectokid and Saint Sinner (no relation to the Barker involved sci-fi tv movie years later) were the best ones, though Hokum & Hex had some fun ideas in it.
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Jul 9, 2015 05:12
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gently caress Your Website posted:All of them
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Jul 9, 2015 05:18
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The ones involving Charles Band.
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Jul 9, 2015 05:28
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A+ av bro very nice
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Jul 9, 2015 06:27
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I've talked about this in the CD horror thread, but the real tragedy behind Hellraiser is that they never stuck with what made the Cenobites interesting in the first place. In the novella and first film, they're not the villains - they're not good or evil, they're just members of a religious order that deals in the extremes of sensation ("Angels to some, demons to others"). In the book they even warn Frank repeatedly that he should reconsider accepting their "pleasures" but he does it anyway. They're just alien beings doing their job. Then as soon as the movie franchise starts up the Cenobites become more and more like stereotypical, cackling monsters, and it's gotten to the point where even the man who created them in the first place can't do anything interesting with the story. ProfessorMurder posted:drat, sounds like Clive might have lost his talent. A sword fight with Satan? Satan must have a power level OVER 9000! To become the new ruler of Hell for... reasons. Despite the book revolving around Pinhead he's completely one-dimensional.
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Jul 9, 2015 09:01
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How are his children books? Only heard of them.
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Jul 9, 2015 09:24
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I haven't read them but I only hear good things.
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Jul 9, 2015 09:29
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They replaced Pinhead with Lardhead.
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Jul 9, 2015 09:47
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Bloody Hedgehog posted:They replaced Pinhead with Lardhead. God damned those some big rear end anime eyes
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Jul 9, 2015 09:50
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Apparently getting fat as gently caress is the new pleasure.
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Jul 9, 2015 09:52
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We have such Cinnabons to show you!
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Jul 9, 2015 09:58
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MantisToboggan posted:I've talked about this in the CD horror thread, but the real tragedy behind Hellraiser is that they never stuck with what made the Cenobites interesting in the first place. In the novella and first film, they're not the villains - they're not good or evil, they're just members of a religious order that deals in the extremes of sensation ("Angels to some, demons to others"). In the book they even warn Frank repeatedly that he should reconsider accepting their "pleasures" but he does it anyway. They're just alien beings doing their job. Part 3 is funny in that regard. It's a great Nightmare on Elm Street sequel, disguised as an awful Hellraiser sequel.
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Jul 9, 2015 14:35
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I wouldn't think it to hard to make a decent movie about the origins of the box and the toymaker. Creepy atmosphere, with creepy occult like figures up to no good, the final act being the opening of the portal and the cynobites running amok.
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Jul 9, 2015 14:50
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Mad Monk posted:I wouldn't think it to hard to make a decent movie about the origins of the box and the toymaker. Creepy atmosphere, with creepy occult like figures up to no good, the final act being the opening of the portal and the cynobites running amok. "You know, for kids!"
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Jul 9, 2015 14:56
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Ben from Parks and Rec helped make the box in part 4
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Jul 9, 2015 14:59
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Also make an entire movie about the "What's your pleasure?" guy. A man of the town, walking around....eating crickets by the handful. If that's not entertainment then I don't know what is.
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Jul 9, 2015 15:01
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fathead
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Jul 9, 2015 15:07
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Mad Monk posted:I wouldn't think it to hard to make a decent movie about the origins of the box and the toymaker. Creepy atmosphere, with creepy occult like figures up to no good, the final act being the opening of the portal and the cynobites running amok. I think it is a mistake to go into the origins of the puzzle box (or as its known to super nerds the Lament Configuration.) The whole thing is a lot weirder when it is just this bizarre thing that does horrible stuff to people and not a specific backstory. Choco1980 posted:As I said, I'm a big ol Hellraiser nerd, so I sought out the spin-off comics to the ones mentioned earlier where Barker made a team of superheroes to fight the Cenobites. It's hilarious because it's only six issues long, and the heroes are absolutely terrible at their jobs, quickly deciding to just quit after the body count gets too high. And it's played dead serious. It's called The Harrowers if you're interested in looking for them. It was part of the "Razorwire" line Marvel did with Barker after the Hellraiser books folded. They're of uneven quality but they have some fun ideas in them. Unfortunately they all end rather abruptly as the line never really took off. I think Ectokid and Saint Sinner (no relation to the Barker involved sci-fi tv movie years later) were the best ones, though Hokum & Hex had some fun ideas in it. They all had weird powers too, like the guy who could switch places with his kitten. One of the comics was really good, although just tangentially related to Hellraiser. It was written by Neil Gaiman with creepy art by Dave McKean and was about a guy solving an evil crossword puzzle.
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Jul 9, 2015 15:20
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