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Cursed Lumberjack
Nov 14, 2006
A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

Digiwizzard posted:

actually these will all soon be crimes in the hot new legal frontier of rape by deception

am i gonna get sued for measuring my dick from balls to tip instead of base to tip?

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Indubitable Leg
Aug 9, 2013
I'm guessing the most likely reason why they don't just eat the 6 weeks at boot camp is "too fat even to serve" or something else that made them a 4F. That or the desire for chubby trim is higher than I'd think.

Slightly related storytime! When I worked at the casino we had a woman go up to security bitching and moaning cause some dude was in his dress blues while gambling and she was an MP. Security had the fun time of telling her in a nice way "He's gambling, and therefore giving us money so we don't give two shits so long as he's wearing any clothing, go find his superior and tell them."

Also a buddy of mine's an amputee (afganistan) and absolutely hates it when people come up to thank them. I get it every now and then (thanks bionic leg) but then I get the awkward moment of telling them I never served. I just like my hair short and wearing shorts. :(

MullardEL34
Sep 30, 2008

Basking in the cathode glow

Grem posted:

There's two really dickhead airmen in my political science class that basically gang up on anyone that suggests anything to the left of Ayn Rand. It's like some bizarro college experience.

I'm waiting for the day I get to whip my dick out and brag about the 72 hour traffic jam I was in on the road to motherfucking Baghdad while these baby bitches were Googling how to finger their girlfriend in middle school.

But mostly I just sit in the back and text MILFS because I'm too old for that poo poo.

From personal experience, College vets are great to work with in group projects because they generally know what a deadline means and get poo poo done on time.

That doesn't mean group projects in college aren't really loving stupid/ a conspiracy to help the deadweight pass the course.

limeincoke
Jul 3, 2005

Heroes of the Storm
Goon Tournament Champion

MullardEL34 posted:

From personal experience, College vets are great to work with in group projects because they generally know what a deadline means and get poo poo done on time.

That doesn't mean group projects in college aren't really loving stupid/ a conspiracy to help the deadweight pass the course.

From my experience as a college grad vet, vets in college were loving annoying as poo poo. I just kept that poo poo to myself unless I was friends with someone and they specifically asked. Every other vet I knew specifically went out of their way in every class to sneak in how they were a veteran no matter what the subject was. They also insisted on keeping high and tights and wearing shirts that were military related. You know, in case someone didn't hear them the 20 times they mentioned it, they'd be able to tell by looking.

And then they invariably dropped out because unlike in the military you actually have to motivate and do things for yourself.

MullardEL34
Sep 30, 2008

Basking in the cathode glow

limeincoke posted:

From my experience as a college grad vet, vets in college were loving annoying as poo poo. I just kept that poo poo to myself unless I was friends with someone and they specifically asked. Every other vet I knew specifically went out of their way in every class to sneak in how they were a veteran no matter what the subject was. They also insisted on keeping high and tights and wearing shirts that were military related. You know, in case someone didn't hear them the 20 times they mentioned it, they'd be able to tell by looking.

And then they invariably dropped out because unlike in the military you actually have to motivate and do things for yourself.

The dudes I dealt with were in their mid to late 30's and both had families and day jobs and were taking advantage of the GI bill to get a BA so I guess I just got lucky. :shrug:

MullardEL34 fucked around with this message at 07:34 on Jul 9, 2015

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

MullardEL34 posted:

The dudes I dealt with were in their mid to late 30's and both had families and day jobs and were taking advantage of the GI bill to get a BA so I guess I just got lucky. :shrug:

You did. The younger vets are annoying as poo poo and I haven't met one that couldn't keep his mouth loving shut about his meaningless loving service. I only have two on campus classes this summer and they both have multiple dudes that can't talk about anything but the military and wear shirts with skulls and stupid motos about killing people with a unit name underneath. "Bullets don't fly without supply" whoa cool shirt bro tell me all about standing behind a desk in a warehouse issuing kevlars that don't fit.

gently caress yourself vets.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

gently caress man these stupid kids are ruining my college experience I appreciate the chance to vent guys.

Here's a secret about military people. Signing up doesn't make you smart. Idiot loving kids are still idiot loving kids and putting a vet tag on them just means they're idiot loving kids with something to brag about. Even though that something is practically nothing these days. Holy poo poo kid another essay about the discipline you learned in the Marines? If you had to learn discipline in the Marines it means you were probably one of the poo poo head boots I had to yell at for falling asleep on post in the middle of the loving say because you staid up crying to your friends about how you missed your stupid loving cat or sister or something.

gently caress you stupid vet students. Get a loving personality beyond your job title.

My Q-Face
Jul 8, 2002

A dumb racist who need to kill themselves

Grem posted:

I'm waiting for the day I get to whip my dick out and brag about the 72 hour traffic jam I was in on the road to motherfucking Baghdad while these baby bitches were Googling how to finger their girlfriend in middle school.

The other day I completely blew this young Marine's mind when I told him I rode around for six months in an unarmored cargo humvee wearing a flak vest. He couldn't seem to wrap his head around what a flak vest was, he kept asking why they didn't give me any plates for it.

500excf type r
Mar 7, 2013

I'm as annoying as the high-pitched whine of my motorcycle, desperately compensating for the lack of substance in my life.
Everything went to hell when soldiers stopped having to shine their boots

500excf type r
Mar 7, 2013

I'm as annoying as the high-pitched whine of my motorcycle, desperately compensating for the lack of substance in my life.
I bet if the uniform required polished boots still, useless lazy fucks like staff sergeant shamu in the OP wouldn't exist.

Nelson Mandingo
Mar 27, 2005



Grem posted:

You did. The younger vets are annoying as poo poo and I haven't met one that couldn't keep his mouth loving shut about his meaningless loving service. I only have two on campus classes this summer and they both have multiple dudes that can't talk about anything but the military and wear shirts with skulls and stupid motos about killing people with a unit name underneath. "Bullets don't fly without supply" whoa cool shirt bro tell me all about standing behind a desk in a warehouse issuing kevlars that don't fit.

gently caress yourself vets.

Holy poo poo this was a loving treat to read post more venting like this please thanks in advance

DarkFleetOne
Nov 11, 2012
Wow op that's silly, but unless you have tiny penis I'm not sure why you'd care that someone was pretending they even had one???
Did you know girls are not deer and you can lie to them without camouflage??
They barely notice it actually.

communism bitch
Apr 24, 2009
making sure vets get their dicks sucked in public is really kinda clever because it keeps them happy without having to actually do anything expensive like provide real long term support or health care for all these mentally maladjusted and physically crippled dudes lol

Stick Figure Mafia
Dec 11, 2004

how many GiP have been exposed?
like I know there is that one who is white but pretends to be black but wasn't there one who pretended for years to be some high ranking army dude?

communism bitch
Apr 24, 2009

Stick Figure Mafia posted:

how many GiP have been exposed?
like I know there is that one who is white but pretends to be black but wasn't there one who pretended for years to be some high ranking army dude?

well grover thought he was basically a colonel lol

jarofpiss
May 16, 2009

after finding out that cris kyle probably didn't murder two black guys trying to hijack his pickup after he rotated back to the free world, i'm not sure i can trust any veterans at all. let me just say it here "NO thank u for ur service"

Stick Figure Mafia
Dec 11, 2004

Oberleutnant posted:

well grover thought he was basically a colonel lol

lol oh yeah. i miss grover he brought so much fun to these forums.

DarkFleetOne
Nov 11, 2012
Wait, wait, wait, would a military "person" even have a dick?
Why would they put signs on their uniform if they they could just rock a boner?

Toadvine
Mar 16, 2009
Please disregard my advice w/r/t history.

Number 1 Sexy Dad posted:

i was at an airport and i saw some dude in a cheap mismatched suit wearing AF achievement and comm mess dress medals and he was looking at womens' facebook pics on his phone and zooming in on their armpits

You better support him!

Hungriest Hippo
Jul 7, 2015
~i'm in the fields of vietnam --- the mountains of afghanistan~

Wall Balls
Jun 3, 2007

Spanish Castle Magic

if anyone itt runs a prank channel on youtube then i think baiting a true valor believer would be good filler

Son of Rodney
Feb 22, 2006

ohmygodohmygodohmygod

I think lying about being in the military is really, really hilarious since I live in a country where the military is seen as a laughing stock and nobody would ever pretend to be in it

Also generally being made into a killing machine by continuous dehumanization and supression of individuality is not something I find very glorious so double lol

Bouillon Rube
Aug 6, 2009


these guys must really lose their poo poo on Halloween

blainestereo
Jan 16, 2013

lol @ pathetic American scrub level valor stealing

Nodelphi
Jan 30, 2004

We are all quite capable of believing in anything as long as it's improbable.

Ham Wrangler

blainestereo posted:

lol @ pathetic American scrub level valor stealing



No that's Stan Lee, he earned all that poo poo.

I am Toni Lippi
Aug 16, 2004

Hey Beavis. Being an administrator rules.

dougdrums
Feb 25, 2005
CLIENT REQUESTED ELECTRONIC FUNDING RECEIPT (FUNDS NOW)

Subterfrugal posted:

These videos are the worst because catching some jerk pretending to be in the military is an instant ticket to youtube high-horse town and now every shitlord ex E-4 in the loving universe is super interested if I wear an old PT shirt to go to Home Depot or wherever. The first time it happened like a month ago I just assumed it was the friendly "Where'd you serve" rear end-sniff of former military bros but last weekend this dude had his phone out as he walked up to me. Pretty sure that the old lovely jeans are a dead giveaway that I'm not pretending to be in the Army anymore genius.

As someone else mentioned, it's gotta be more likely that these guys are just pissing off a bunch of people that were in the military before they find the one kid who just wants to eat and get laid.

I had the same thing happen to me while I was out shopping wearing this shirt that had my navy rate on it. At first I told the dude that I was busy because talking about where you were stationed or whatever is like the most boring poo poo to talk about ever. He now has a video recording of a stranger in lowes telling him to go gently caress himself as he's acting like a lunatic for the loving internet.

Jimbo Jaggins
Jul 19, 2013
I prefer the term "borrowed valor"

Prawned
Oct 25, 2010

We should be thankful to the absolute dregs of society that are such complete failures they choose to join the military and go shoot brown people overseas and therefore protect are right to watch Keeping up with Kardashians and eat Mcdonalds - you know, instead of doing something productive with their lives instead.

It is definitely an indicator of valor and bravery and perhaps even coolness that someone joins the army. Semper fi motherfuckers oorah!

WAR CRIME GIGOLO
Oct 3, 2012

The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

dougdrums
Feb 25, 2005
CLIENT REQUESTED ELECTRONIC FUNDING RECEIPT (FUNDS NOW)

9/10 chance the person wearing that is the laziest sack of poo poo

WAR CRIME GIGOLO
Oct 3, 2012

The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

dougdrums posted:

9/10 chance the person wearing that is the laziest sack of poo poo

lol i still work and get 100% disability

Who Is Paul Blart
Oct 22, 2010
gently caress veterans

WAR CRIME GIGOLO
Oct 3, 2012

The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

edgy posts thread

Germstore
Oct 17, 2012

A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time
GOON CRED
IS poo poo
POSTED IN
GBS

RALP'D
NOT GIVEN

Robokomodo
Nov 11, 2009
I know 0 about the military uniform and practices. But these videos crack me up. I just wish one of you assholes knew how to take a video on your loving phone. You hold it sideways!

Usual Barb
Aug 27, 2005

pop it and lock it

It's like a Tapout shirt but somehow even worse

Booblord Zagats
Oct 30, 2011


Pork Pro

Usual Barb posted:

It's like a Tapout shirt but somehow even worse

Tip of the Ice-berg, dude

http://www.7point62design.com/USMC-T-Shirts-Military-T-Shirts/b/7627720011?ie=UTF8&title=USMC+T+Shirts

Prawned
Oct 25, 2010

Sorry for getting angry about soldiers GBS, it's a sensitive issue.

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FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams
loving USMC faggots. Wear a real man's shirt.

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