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  • Locked thread
poorlifedecision
Feb 13, 2012
Lipstick Apathy

Dead Gay Romans posted:

"Why hello, im permabanned poster niggerstomper58..."

Might be the winner

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Nickelback Concert
Apr 28, 2015
I moderate on an internet website. What time did you say Doc McStuffins comes on?

Frijolero
Jan 24, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo
Is that a pimple on your forehead or are you just happy to see me?

poorlifedecision
Feb 13, 2012
Lipstick Apathy
Baby you're so beautiful you make me want to toss out my stiffened cum-sock.

I'm Crap
Aug 15, 2001
Should I unload my cock now??? Like a filthy pig?

Benny Harvey
Nov 24, 2012

Dead Gay Romans posted:

"Why hello, im permabanned poster niggerstomper58..."

Why not 88?

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum
it all depends on perspective, for example subway Jared detests the middle school car pickup lines

Fastball LIVE in concert
Jul 10, 2010
"Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?"

Kirk Vikernes
Apr 26, 2004

Count Goatnackh

Nice shoes. Let's gently caress.

SpiderHyphenMan
Apr 1, 2010

by Fluffdaddy
"Feminism. Women's rights. Pay equity. Abortion. Feminism. Women's rights. Pay equity. Abortion. Feminism. Women's rights. Pay equity. Abortion."
repeat infinitely.

frogge
Apr 7, 2006


ey bb u wan sum fuk?

Devian666
Aug 20, 2008

Take some advice Chris.

Fun Shoe
Hi my name is Derek Smart.

Abdul Alhazred
Mar 15, 2007
Bae you must have just fallen from heaven, because I have an erection

flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

70% of women masturbate while thinking about me in the shower while 30% sing a song instead. Do you know what song they sing? No? Then you must masturbate while thinking about me. I'm dog buttz, nice to meet you.

Propaganda Hour
Aug 25, 2008



after editing wikipedia as a joke for 16 years, i ve convinced myself that homer simpson's japanese name translates to the "The beer goblin"

Shinjobi posted:

had a friend of mine get a message on tinder that read "you are easily the first girl I would sleep with tonight" followed by "you're pretty" about ten minutes later




Don't think that's really a pickup line, or even a compliment really, but goddamn it had me laughing.

A friend of mine snagged a guy that seemed like a pretty reasonable flirt until he dropped the "show me where you pee from" line on her.

Egbert Souse
Nov 6, 2008

What's your favorite Gaspar Noe movie?

Paste
Aug 26, 2007

Hey baby, do you like coke?

Well then I sure hope Pepsi is okay

or be all like

drat girl

are you a bird dog

cuz you got a nice soft mouth

or you could be all like

drat girl

are you baby bear's porridge?

cuz you are just right

my personal favorite, though, is to be all like

drat girl

are you the scenic route?

Cuz i'm in a hurry but i still wanna take you home

I'm Crap
Aug 15, 2001

Propaganda Hour posted:

A friend of mine snagged a guy that seemed like a pretty reasonable flirt until he dropped the "show me where you pee from" line on her.
power move

Masturbasturd
Sep 1, 2014

fakeaccount posted:

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Don't sniff his chloroform mine's the dank poo poo, bitch.

flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

Propaganda Hour posted:

A friend of mine snagged a guy that seemed like a pretty reasonable flirt until he dropped the "show me where you pee from" line on her.

I'd eat a mile of your poo poo just to see where it came from

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
I hope you like seafood; 'cause I got crabs.

Full Battle Rattle
Aug 29, 2009

As long as the times refuse to change, we're going to make a hell of a racket.
please have sex with me. please.

Benny Harvey
Nov 24, 2012

How did I know you liked seafood? You smell like fish.


Propaganda Hour posted:

A friend of mine snagged a guy that seemed like a pretty reasonable flirt until he dropped the "show me where you pee from" line on her.

There's nothing sexual about a urethra. Prudes itt.

Keep Autism Wired
Feb 22, 2009

Kristen Schaal Lub Club
hey i have the worlds smallest dick

Benny Harvey
Nov 24, 2012

How much for full service?

Abdul Alhazred
Mar 15, 2007
Hey baby, you ever seen a micropenis with a macroforeskin?

spidjod
May 15, 2003

Justice!
show feet




















bb show feet

swampland
Oct 16, 2007

Dear Mr Cave, if you do not release the bats we will be forced to take legal action
"Now just who in the gently caress are you?"

klen dool
May 7, 2007

Okay well me being wrong in some limited situations doesn't change my overall point.
I got a condom that expires tomorrow, and I am not the wasteful type....

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot
Is this man doing what I think he's doing to his anus??

Dr. Fraiser Chain
May 18, 2004

Redlining my shit posting machine


Sex with me is like my childhood birthday parties; nobody comes

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot

Goodpancakes posted:

Sex with me is like my childhood birthday parties; ruined by a creepy clown

Devian666
Aug 20, 2008

Take some advice Chris.

Fun Shoe
Zip zop zibidy do I'm Bill Cosby.

Full Battle Rattle
Aug 29, 2009

As long as the times refuse to change, we're going to make a hell of a racket.
Remember when I legally had to inform your family I was a sex offender? Well...

Thotol
Jul 10, 2015
What about we go out and find your rear end one little friend ?

Time_pants
Jun 25, 2012

Now sauntering to the ring, please welcome the lackadaisical style of the man who is always doing something...

Wall Balls posted:

"YOU'RE VERY BEAUTIFUL AND I WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER" signaled from a huge distance in semaphore

I didn't know what this was so I looked it up and the first thing out of my mouth was, "that's very logical, actually."

So apparently literally anything I say could be fair game for this topic.

Commie Lasorda
May 15, 2009

IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!
"I have a penis. Therefore you must desire me. Let us go partake in coitus in my parent's basement. Mind the anime posters"

Devian666 posted:

Zip zop zibidy do I'm Bill Cosby.

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Cactus Ghost
Dec 20, 2003

you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack
will you fart on my balls when we gently caress

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