please don't have anymore children

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > please don't have anymore children

ANIME IS BLOOD: Sep 4, 2008; by zen death robot

President-Emperor Trump XVII thanks you for your service

edit: goddam page snipe

ANIME IS BLOOD posted:

I'm glad all of you childhavers are happily cranking out geneslaves for the brutal post-apocalyptic technocracy of the future, we're going to need plenty of genetic material to harvest if we're going to maintain viable diversity after the Water Wars

# ? Jul 13, 2015 15:41

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 22:01

Neukoln19: Oct 27, 2005

I am very thankful that I do not have any kids. I want the world to share my joy.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 16:11

Neukoln19: Oct 27, 2005

Thank you all for contributing I believe this was a very successful thread

# ? Jul 13, 2015 17:10

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

whoops i just shat out a clutch of eggs

# ? Jul 13, 2015 17:15

Mandator: Aug 28, 2007

Applewhite posted:

This is why we need policies in place that also inhibit the child having of undesirables.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 17:19

Nuclearmonkee: Jun 10, 2009

i have two but i'm done

don't have kids unless you are mostly done having fun with non-kid things.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 17:20

Ralp: Aug 19, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Actually if anything we need to have more babies, in order to maximize the odds that one of them will be able to solve the overpopulation crisis.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 17:23

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

i'm gonna have a shitton of kids

# ? Jul 13, 2015 17:23

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

gonna birth them from my butt after my dogdick girlfriend gets me buttpregnant

# ? Jul 13, 2015 17:24

Cool NIN Shirt: Nov 26, 2007; by vyelkin

Matey posted:

MTV True Life: My Dad's a Goon

http://www.mtv.com/shows/truelife/true-life-presents-my-dad-is-a-bro/1716316/playlist/#id=1716316

# ? Jul 13, 2015 17:25

joat mon: Oct 15, 2009; I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.

Neukoln19 posted:

please don't have any more kids. please inform everyone you know of my request.

there is a wonderful reddit "sub-reddit" called "those who are child free". I shall sing its praises.

if you have children already thanks for nothing. your selfishness and stupidity have blighted the world and have made it an ugly place. furthermore, your children may make children and continue to rain Ugliness upon the earth.

please don't have any more children.

If I have another child I will consider him or her a replacement life for yours.
Who could argue with a net positive for the world?

# ? Jul 13, 2015 23:40

Clipperton: Dec 20, 2011; Grimey Drawer

had a kid just to spite you op

# ? Jul 13, 2015 23:49

Riot Bimbo: Dec 28, 2006

Neukoln19 posted:

please don't have any more kids. please inform everyone you know of my request.

there is a wonderful reddit "sub-reddit" called "those who are child free". I shall sing its praises.

if you have children already thanks for nothing. your selfishness and stupidity have blighted the world and have made it an ugly place. furthermore, your children may make children and continue to rain Ugliness upon the earth.

please don't have any more children.

your narcissism is gay and tiring.

# ? Jul 14, 2015 00:02

Meatwolfe: Oct 31, 2011

Already had a kid. Kill yourself op.

# ? Jul 14, 2015 01:30

Ork of Fiction: Jul 22, 2013

Ralp posted:

Actually if anything we need to have more babies, in order to maximize the odds that one of them will be able to solve the overpopulation crisis.

I've heard it helps if you play "Holding out for a Hero" during the delivery.

# ? Jul 14, 2015 02:18

EXTREME INSERTION: Jun 4, 2011; by LadyAmbien

Dirk Squarejaw posted:

I was doing lunch duty a few years ago with some fellow teachers who were near retirement when a couple sisters (room temperature IQs just like their parents) walked into the gym. One of the teachers piped up with, "You know, back in the early 70s, the state would have kept that from happening. In the spring Mrs. Soandso would take a van full of kids like their parents to the hospital get them fixed."

I thought he was joking. He wasn't.

Are you talking about cats or people

# ? Jul 14, 2015 02:42

Riot Bimbo: Dec 28, 2006

Dirk Squarejaw posted:

I was doing lunch duty a few years ago with some fellow teachers who were near retirement when a couple sisters (room temperature IQs just like their parents) walked into the gym. One of the teachers piped up with, "You know, back in the early 70s, the state would have kept that from happening. In the spring Mrs. Soandso would take a van full of kids like their parents to the hospital get them fixed."

I thought he was joking. He wasn't.

the one situation where im ok with eugenics

# ? Jul 14, 2015 02:45

EXTREME INSERTION: Jun 4, 2011; by LadyAmbien

hemophilia posted:

the one situation where im ok with eugenics

With cats?

# ? Jul 14, 2015 02:51

EXTREME INSERTION: Jun 4, 2011; by LadyAmbien

I will create the ultimate cat

# ? Jul 14, 2015 02:52

Neukoln19: Oct 27, 2005

hemophilia posted:

your narcissism is gay and tiring.

how can I be a narcissist when my request shows a true love for humanity and the Earth?

# ? Jul 14, 2015 03:22

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Neukoln19 posted:

please don't have any more kids. please inform everyone you know of my request.

there is a wonderful reddit "sub-reddit" called "those who are child free". I shall sing its praises.

if you have children already thanks for nothing. your selfishness and stupidity have blighted the world and have made it an ugly place. furthermore, your children may make children and continue to rain Ugliness upon the earth.

please don't have any more children.

sorry op im hungarian i have a duty to the human race to breed or we might slip back in to the dark ages due to lack of innovation

# ? Jul 14, 2015 03:31

boom boom boom: Jun 28, 2012; by Shine

EXTREME INSERTION posted:

I will create the ultimate cat

OK, Claudandus.

# ? Jul 14, 2015 03:33

The Dipshit: Dec 21, 2005; by FactsAreUseless

Lawman 0 posted:

I'm going to have kids op.
Thanks for not polluting the gene pool with your weak sadbrains though.

# ? Jul 14, 2015 03:36

TerminalSaint: Apr 21, 2007; Where must we go...

we who wander this Wasteland in search of our better selves?

Hey child havers, how does it feel to know your children will have to suffer through the collapse of human civilization thanks to climate change?

# ? Jul 14, 2015 03:38

Neukoln19: Oct 27, 2005

I think all restaurants should be, by penalty of heavy fine, free of children from 7am to 10am. 11am to 3pm and from 5pm until they close.

Children should not be allowed in movie theaters from 3pm to close.

No child shall ever be allowed on an airplane. Some hack research institute can probably drum up a study that sez it is bad for them.

Parents of children shall be strictly monitored and evaluated by the relevant authorities to make sure they are doing a proper job.

Sterilization procedures shall be implemented on such trivial grounds that it almost seems random.

Sterilization professionals shall make 150,000 use a year.

I shall be the head of the sterilization department. My employees are very happy people.

# ? Jul 14, 2015 03:45

joat mon: Oct 15, 2009; I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.

TerminalSaint posted:

Hey child havers, how does it feel to know your children will have to suffer through the collapse of human civilization thanks to climate change?

We raised them not to be nihilistic defeatist whiners, so they'll be ok.

# ? Jul 14, 2015 03:46

TerminalSaint: Apr 21, 2007; Where must we go...

we who wander this Wasteland in search of our better selves?

Will your child be one of the ones to die when police open fire on the rioting unemployed mob left jobless by automation?

# ? Jul 14, 2015 03:47

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

TerminalSaint posted:

Will your child be one of the ones to die when police open fire on the rioting unemployed mob left jobless by automation?

mine will be the ones shooting in to the crowd because lol if you're on the side of history that doesn't have the guns

# ? Jul 14, 2015 03:49

Neukoln19: Oct 27, 2005

Please don't have any more children

# ? Jul 14, 2015 03:50

joat mon: Oct 15, 2009; I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.

TerminalSaint posted:

Will your child be one of the ones to die when police open fire on the rioting unemployed mob left jobless by automation?

No, they'll be throwing their wooden shoes into the textile looms.

# ? Jul 14, 2015 03:53

Geoj: May 28, 2008; BITTER POOR PERSON

Neukoln19 posted:

I think all restaurants should be, by penalty of heavy fine, free of children from 7am to 10am. 11am to 3pm and from 5pm until they close.

Children should not be allowed in movie theaters from 3pm to close.

No child shall ever be allowed on an airplane. Some hack research institute can probably drum up a study that sez it is bad for them.

Parents of children shall be strictly monitored and evaluated by the relevant authorities to make sure they are doing a proper job.

Sterilization procedures shall be implemented on such trivial grounds that it almost seems random.

Sterilization professionals shall make 150,000 use a year.

I shall be the head of the sterilization department. My employees are very happy people.

While this sounds good, I much rather prefer the current system where parents take their unruly brood out in public at all hours, allow them to do whatever the gently caress they want as if they are at a playground and then get butthurt if anyone dares to call them out.

# ? Jul 14, 2015 04:13

Meatwolfe: Oct 31, 2011

Neukoln19 posted:

I think all restaurants should be, by penalty of heavy fine, free of children from 7am to 10am. 11am to 3pm and from 5pm until they close.

Children should not be allowed in movie theaters from 3pm to close.

No child shall ever be allowed on an airplane. Some hack research institute can probably drum up a study that sez it is bad for them.

Parents of children shall be strictly monitored and evaluated by the relevant authorities to make sure they are doing a proper job.

Sterilization procedures shall be implemented on such trivial grounds that it almost seems random.

Sterilization professionals shall make 150,000 use a year.

I shall be the head of the sterilization department. My employees are very happy people.

Even as a childhaver I agree with this.

# ? Jul 14, 2015 04:20

Riot Bimbo: Dec 28, 2006

Neukoln19 posted:

how can I be a narcissist when my request shows a true love for humanity and the Earth?

All that child free poo poo is just malignant narcissism hth

# ? Jul 14, 2015 04:22

EXTREME INSERTION: Jun 4, 2011; by LadyAmbien

Geoj posted:

While this sounds good, I much rather prefer the current system where parents take their unruly brood out in public at all hours, allow them to do whatever the gently caress they want as if they are at a playground and then get butthurt if anyone dares to call them out.

Are you child free op

# ? Jul 14, 2015 04:27

CrashCat: Jan 10, 2003; another shit post

Applewhite posted:

By myself, yeah. Put the word out for more smart people to have kids.

smart people know kids are ungrateful shits who will still leave you to die alone when you get old

you have to be a bit stupid to be more compassionate than that about someone who is gonna die in a minute anyway

# ? Jul 14, 2015 05:10

Jesustheastronaut!: Mar 9, 2014; Lipstick Apathy

by dont have any more children, do you mean dont help myself to anymore children?

# ? Jul 14, 2015 05:11

CrashCat: Jan 10, 2003; another shit post

Jesustheastronaut! posted:

by dont have any more children, do you mean dont help myself to anymore children?

not the kind of pedophile i expected from this thread

# ? Jul 14, 2015 05:12

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

I hurled a baby up into the sky and by the time it came down it was a man grown

# ? Jul 14, 2015 05:28

peanut: Sep 9, 2007

What about manchildren?

# ? Jul 14, 2015 05:35

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 22:01

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

OMGVBFLOL posted:

you'll be happy to know i have already chopped off my dick and balls

I heard that it was an accident that involved a glass pane falling on your genitals.

Don't try to be so smug when you didn't even do that poo poo on purpose.

# ? Jul 14, 2015 05:36

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