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Beef Turret
Jul 9, 2009

by Lowtax
Someone figure out the friggin pepperoni strat!!

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Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

notZaar posted:

This is from car talk, it can't be too hard or it would have overtaxed the feeble brains of their core demo.

yeah only NPR would have a logic puzzle on the air instead of like, a dude talking or the sound from a youtube video

Helical Nightmares
Apr 30, 2009

Schweinhund posted:

the one without tom brady's stank on it is the heavy one lmbo

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

GBS used to be smart enough for threads with puzzles like this but I dunno if we're at that level any more.

Here's my entry, you can work for me if you answer this. (.....NOT!!)

You are sharing a pepperoni pizza with your fellow goon. It has a lot of pepperonis on it, but cleverly, you notice that some of the slices have more pepperoni than others. Obviously you want to try to maximize your pepperoni count, that's some basic goon instinct there. The way you go about choosing slices is, you go first, and take any slice you want. Then, the other guy takes one of the two slices adjacent to the first one. This continues to alternate, so each of you has two choices for each slice. Is there a way you can guarantee that you get more delicious pepperonis than the other goon?

Wait for the other goon to finish eating their pizza and then unhinge your jaw and consume the goon whole like a snake. By doing this you will absorb all the pepperonis they have consumed and will have access to all the pepperonis of that pizza.

lorn Wayne
Jan 7, 2006

:staredog::meowth::pipe:
get an intern to weigh them with electronic scales

give the heavier ball to upper management, also it's made of solid gold

poison the remaining balls and throw them at middle class people

GaryLeeLoveBuckets
May 8, 2009

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

GBS used to be smart enough for threads with puzzles like this but I dunno if we're at that level any more.

Here's my entry, you can work for me if you answer this. (.....NOT!!)

You are sharing a pepperoni pizza with your fellow goon. It has a lot of pepperonis on it, but cleverly, you notice that some of the slices have more pepperoni than others. Obviously you want to try to maximize your pepperoni count, that's some basic goon instinct there. The way you go about choosing slices is, you go first, and take any slice you want. Then, the other guy takes one of the two slices adjacent to the first one. This continues to alternate, so each of you has two choices for each slice. Is there a way you can guarantee that you get more delicious pepperonis than the other goon?

Trick question, no goon would share a pizza.

twerking on the railroad
Jun 23, 2007

Get on my level

psyopmonkey2 posted:

Split the balls into two sets of 4.

Whichever is heaviest contains the large ball. Then split the four with the heaviest ball into two groups of two.

Find the group with the heaviest again.

Split that into two, and bam, you have the heaviest ball.

They asked us something similar when I was at a place.

Dumbass questions ITT

This solution always takes 3 weighings. You can alter this to take 2 weighings half the time and at most 3 weighings, which can be a big difference if you've got lots of balls rolling around.

Split the balls into two sets of 4. Edge the second set aside for a moment (or possibly forever, you big tease).

Split your first set of four into two pairs of balls and teabag either side of your scale.

If one of your pairs is heavier, then one of those two is the ball you've been dreaming of. Your second weighing determines which one. Hence, half the time you finish yourself off in two weighings.

If not, repeat the process with your second set of four balls. Before you get past 3 weighings you've emptied out your balls.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS
you can do it in two weighings guaranteed and the solution was already posted

John Denver Hoxha
May 31, 2014

What a persistent nightmare!
....but enough about my posts
put 4 of the balls on a cliff and then push the one nearest to the edge off

John Denver Hoxha
May 31, 2014

What a persistent nightmare!
....but enough about my posts
tie them together with a string then put them up ur butt

Tricky D
Apr 1, 2005

I love um!
Fire whoever hosed up by hiring the contractor who delivered the set of balls. Tell the manufacturer that the contract is cancelled unless they get someone in here yesterday to sort it out.

George H.W. Cunt
Oct 6, 2010





How do you protect yourself from an angry mob after you just destroyed the economy. Mind you the money you have is worthless now so you cannot buy anything and people know what you look like.

Tricky D
Apr 1, 2005

I love um!

SaltLick posted:

How do you protect yourself from an angry mob after you just destroyed the economy. Mind you the money you have is worthless now so you cannot buy anything and people know what you look like.

Trick question. I knew what I was doing the whole time and have already left the country.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

you can do it in two weighings guaranteed and the solution was already posted

They don't read. They're poor.

El Golden Goose
Jul 23, 2007

SaltLick posted:

How do you protect yourself from an angry mob after you just destroyed the economy. Mind you the money you have is worthless now so you cannot buy anything and people know what you look like.

I wear the mask in your av, the unwashed masses will be easily fooled into thinking that's my real face and not recognize me

Malinois
Jun 13, 2003


Tricky D posted:

Fire whoever hosed up by hiring the contractor who delivered the set of balls. Tell the manufacturer that the contract is cancelled unless they get someone in here yesterday to sort it out.

two steps, it proves out

Trochanter
Sep 14, 2007

It ain't no sin
to take off your skin, And dance around in your bones!
Lobby the interviewer to make the rules more relaxed

Sell fractions of the balls to investors, claiming they'll magically grow in value while making side bets that they won't

Sell the heavy ball to minorities and complain that they're dragging you down

Get the government to bail out your balls

Collect bonus

staberind
Feb 20, 2008

but i dont wanna be a spaceship
Fun Shoe

John Denver Hoxha posted:

tie them together with a string then put them up ur butt

I mentioned that, its the most logical conclusion, did they listen ?


Nope.

George H.W. Cunt
Oct 6, 2010





Tricky D posted:

Trick question. I knew what I was doing the whole time and have already left the country.

This is correct.

Masturbasturd
Sep 1, 2014
I had a phone interview with them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2TTgg7MMr8

they seemed nice enough

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
Pick one at random, get millions of dollars if you're right and a government bailout if you're wrong.

rakovsky maybe
Nov 4, 2008

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

GBS used to be smart enough for threads with puzzles like this but I dunno if we're at that level any more.

Here's my entry, you can work for me if you answer this. (.....NOT!!)

You are sharing a pepperoni pizza with your fellow goon. It has a lot of pepperonis on it, but cleverly, you notice that some of the slices have more pepperoni than others. Obviously you want to try to maximize your pepperoni count, that's some basic goon instinct there. The way you go about choosing slices is, you go first, and take any slice you want. Then, the other guy takes one of the two slices adjacent to the first one. This continues to alternate, so each of you has two choices for each slice. Is there a way you can guarantee that you get more delicious pepperonis than the other goon?

What happens if you take a slice with an empty neighbor? Can the next person only pick the one directly adjacent, or does it wrap around the empty space. If I take a slice with no neighbors can I then choose freely?

George H.W. Cunt
Oct 6, 2010





You have a potential client on the line that is worth a lot of money. At the same time the hot blonde down the office is offering you some real prime rear end coke to do in the bathroom. How do you manage to secure the client and also do blow? You have a 30 minute lunch window to meet with the client.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
Sieze the means of measurement from the bourgeois

Dmitri-9
Nov 30, 2004

There's something really sexy about Scrooge McDuck. I love Uncle Scrooge.

Champenema posted:

I had a phone interview with them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2TTgg7MMr8

they seemed nice enough

thats HSBC not Goldman

Beef Turret
Jul 9, 2009

by Lowtax

Moridin920 posted:

Sieze the means of measurement from the bourgeois

Why are you still posting here when LF is back

twerking on the railroad
Jun 23, 2007

Get on my level

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

you can do it in two weighings guaranteed and the solution was already posted

You caught me. Found me out. That cuts deep.

Balls deep.

babypolis
Nov 4, 2009

anyone remember that puzzle about the brown eyed and blue eyed inslanders? that was a cool one

staberind
Feb 20, 2008

but i dont wanna be a spaceship
Fun Shoe

SaltLick posted:

You have a potential client on the line that is worth a lot of money. At the same time the hot blonde down the office is offering you some real prime rear end coke to do in the bathroom. How do you manage to secure the client and also do blow? You have a 30 minute lunch window to meet with the client.

1.snort coke off her rear end with client,
2........
3.........
4 Profit.

George H.W. Cunt
Oct 6, 2010





staberind posted:

1.snort coke off her rear end with client,
2........
3.........
4 Profit.

Close enough. Have the client take her from behind while she does blow off your raging hard on and high fiving the client. All in a fancy restaurants bathroom

Tricky D
Apr 1, 2005

I love um!
Plan B: I would use federal grants to set up a research lab to determine accurate weight of balls, use the provided scales instead of purchasing lab equipment, and pay myself a six figure salary from the funds.

Nuclearmonkee
Jun 10, 2009


Securitize all of the balls and sell the security to a person for a billion dollars. When the ball security value crashes to reflect its actual value and the person you sold it to is no longer able to make payments on the loan they took out from you to buy the ball, sell the loan to the government at face value and get all the money anyways.

George H.W. Cunt
Oct 6, 2010





The next question is a 2-parter.


1) Please recite the opening monologue of American Psycho.
2) What is the best way to get Dorsia on a Friday night?

Tricky D
Apr 1, 2005

I love um!

SaltLick posted:

The next question is a 2-parter.


1) Please recite the opening monologue of American Psycho.
2) What is the best way to get Dorsia on a Friday night?

The answer to both is: "Ask my assistant. It's lunch time and I should be getting drunk at the yacht club."

George H.W. Cunt
Oct 6, 2010





You do not currently own a yacht yet and thus cannot join a yacht club. Rejected

Tricky D
Apr 1, 2005

I love um!

SaltLick posted:

You do not currently own a yacht yet and thus cannot join a yacht club. Rejected

My father does and I assumed the reason I was considered in the first place was nepotism.

cams
Mar 28, 2003


not reading thread, 4 balls on each side, split the heavier side and weigh those, split the heavier side and weigh those, bam 3 steps

Schweinhund
Oct 23, 2004

:derp:   :kayak:                                     

cams posted:

not reading thread, 4 balls on each side, split the heavier side and weigh those, split the heavier side and weigh those, bam 3 steps

shouldve read the thread dummy

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

rakovsky maybe posted:

What happens if you take a slice with an empty neighbor? Can the next person only pick the one directly adjacent, or does it wrap around the empty space. If I take a slice with no neighbors can I then choose freely?

You can't do that - the pizza is a circle and you only get a free choice on the first slice. After that, there are always two edges, and both pizza eaters always have two choices until the last slice remaining.

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rakovsky maybe
Nov 4, 2008
Realtalk I first heard this question when I asked a finance bro what his interviews were like. Later I was interviewing for a startup and they asked me but I was so drunk I forgot the answer hahaha

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