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signalnoise posted:Do tell
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Jul 31, 2015 17:07
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How much time have you spent painting since I last posted?
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Jul 31, 2015 17:44
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Veskit posted:How much time have you spent painting since I last posted? None because it's all in disarray from packing and I spent the last week in another state
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Jul 31, 2015 17:50
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signalnoise posted:None because it's all in disarray from packing and I spent the last week in another state Sounds like you have a no money fun activity planned for the weekend then right? 
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Jul 31, 2015 18:12
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Have you actually moved into the new house yet? Have you unpacked? I had zero free time for any leisure-related activities for a solid three months after I moved into the house I bought. Of course I bought a foreclosure that needed a lot of work, so your mileage may vary. I think one of the issues you may have (and I recognize it because it's something I've dealt with) is the lack of long-term goals. You had the short-term goal of getting your degree, landing a good job, your marriage and relationship to your family, and then buying this house and moving into it. But when you have no big things you're trying to accomplish in the next 5 years, it's easy to just focus all your attention on immediate leisure-time activities. Especially when, as you say, you don't take any vacation time. On the other hand, if you don't have a goal - not just a goal that you have to achieve, like "don't go broke and lose my house" but a goal that you genuinely want, like "see Paris" or "get a big promotion to management" or "move to Alaska and become a gold miner" or whatever, then your life just becomes "about" whatever the latest passing entertainment option happens to be. This is probably something to discuss with your wife and your therapist, and probably not something you can just decide on or fix immediately. But it'd be a good idea to think seriously about what you want out of your life. When you're on your deathbed, will you look back fondly at all those countless hours you spent collecting x-wing minis, making wargaming terrain, and playing computer games? Is that what you want your life's work to be? I bet it isn't. When you have a priority for your future it'll be a lot easier to stop spending money on frivolous pastimes now. When your plan for your future is achievable and you can think about it every day, you can look at every nonessential purchase you make as not only money but also time invested in something that directly detracts from achieving your goals. Like I said, this isn't easy. It's not really something I've got figured out fully yet, and I'm 40. But I can look back at the last ten years and see that I've wasted a lot of my time consuming ephemeral entertainment options, and a lot of that time I honestly don't even remember any more. If you asked me to detail the games I played in 2007 I couldn't do it. I have some minis I painted from back then, but not many. I have a lot that I bought back then, that I still haven't painted and if I'm honest, I never will. I have computer games on the shelf I never played and never will, I have an original XBOX with games I never played and they're too old to even bother trying to sell anymore. The money and time I spend on that wasn't just erased from the limited time I have on earth, it was directly subtracting from achieving things that would actually have been significant and important to the sum of my life. I could have been doing something more meaningful with myself. Nowadays I look at gaming as important only in the aspect that it lets me spend quality time with people I value; otherwise, it's time-filling entertainment for those times of my days when I haven't got the energy or the attention to spend doing something more valuable. I still buy games and toys and poo poo, I'm not perfect at this yet, but lately I've been doing things like: supporting a family member who is really struggling, paying attention to making my home a better place to live, planning for and fully funding my retirement savings needs, improving my performance at work, and re-focusing on my marriage. I've also started getting some exercise. All of that stuff pays dividends. It feels way more rewarding than accumulating expansion packs for the Lord of the Rings LCG, adding to the bins of unpainted Bones in the hobby room, or adding line items to the list of Steam games I'll never install and play. Makes me a lot less eager to buy buy buy.
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Jul 31, 2015 20:33
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Yeah I have no idea what I want out of life other than enjoy it day to day, and I rarely manage that. I have never had space for big projects, physical or otherwise.
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Jul 31, 2015 20:40
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signalnoise posted:Yeah I have no idea what I want out of life other than enjoy it day to day, and I rarely manage that. I have never had space for big projects, physical or otherwise. You won't figure everything out instantly but moving from what is just straight up consumerism to doing other things with your time will lead you to a better life. I've even pulled out old war game stuff that I haven't had a chance to play since I was at high school. I spent a whole $24 to get the latest rulebook for Car Wars and bought Ogre for $2.95. I could have spent more but there's no point as I can get enjoyment out of these old games. Other games purchases are now down to picking up a couple of games when the steam sales are on. Even then I don't spend that much and I still use my old PS3 as I see no point in upgrading.
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Jul 31, 2015 21:31
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signalnoise posted:Yeah I have no idea what I want out of life other than enjoy it day to day, and I rarely manage that. I have never had space for big projects, physical or otherwise. One of the ways I've approached my own problem with this is trying new things. I love gaming but I'm open to pretty much any activity or interest. Whether that's backpacking, or making beer, or keeping dart frogs. That sounds like hobby proliferation (and it can be: I have spent too much money on a lot of unfinished projects, ugh) but it's led me to interesting places: volunteering with a local feral cat rescue group, becoming interested in maybe one day through-hiking the pacific crest trail, briefly considering a career in microbrewing cider. I realized I don't have to become some big famous person, or get rich, or do grand things, in order to have a fulfilling life. I just have to recognize that I've spent too much time inhabiting a very small and insular slice of the total possibility-space, and that the way to become inspired to do something meaningful is to discover more possibilities. If that sounds a bit grandiose, well, fair enough. And like I said, you don't have to figure it all out right away. But I had to come to the realization that playing computer games was, in part, a way of avoiding thinking about my own mortality and the degree to which I've wasted big chunks of my precious life on consuming forgettable entertainment.
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Jul 31, 2015 21:59
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I don't know about all that honestly. And I mean that in a "I don't know" not "I disagree with you." My goal as a person has generally been to be a good and loyal friend and enjoy life. Crosspost from goals thread: Goal For 2015: Reduce my total CC debt by 5000 dollars Goal for August: Do not transfer any money for my spending account
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Aug 1, 2015 14:54
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dude how the gently caress are you spending like 500-700 a month on games? sorry I know that sounds judgmental, but I game like a motherfucking boss (PC) and spend maybe 50 bucks every two months, tops. maybe throw in a $300 gfx card once a year or something. find some (ahem) alternative ways of finding new games, stop and enjoy the games you already have, or christ if you're microtransactioning a MMORPG or something, just stop! also echoing what other people have said, long term projects are a lot more fulfilling and time consuming than clicking a mouse at a computer. I've taken up woodworking, invested a little bit of money into a small shop, and now I'm making small pieces of furniture and poo poo. making a desk takes me a week of 3-4 hour nights, and not very much upfront money in wood and stain and poo poo. you can even sell your poo poo if you're good enough, and make money at it. cooking is a legit hobby, gardening, tons of other poo poo that takes very little money, and a lot of learning and time.
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Aug 3, 2015 06:22
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mindphlux posted:dude how the gently caress are you spending like 500-700 a month on games? Miniatures gaming is a hell of a drug
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Aug 3, 2015 06:36
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Unintended upside to this budget: I no longer have enough spending money to smoke
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Aug 3, 2015 16:33
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Cool, when are you going to start painting?
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Aug 3, 2015 16:37
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Veskit posted:Cool, when are you going to start painting? When I move into the new house and have my desk set up. Before that I'll be painting wall though, so that's something.
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Aug 3, 2015 16:42
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signalnoise posted:Miniatures gaming is a hell of a drug yeah just basically don't do that anymore
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Aug 4, 2015 05:54
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signalnoise posted:Unintended upside to this budget: I no longer have enough spending money to smoke That's good to hear. Smoking is expensive as hell. Best wishes as you try to quit.
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Aug 4, 2015 06:14
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mindphlux posted:yeah just basically don't do that anymore Yea I've got plans on the table for what I'm gonna do as far as hobbies.. Minis gaming isn't going away, I'm just not going to buy any more for a long time. I'll make my own terrain out of scrap foam, I'll paint what I've got, and I've got a piano and guitar that have been long-neglected.
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Aug 4, 2015 13:19
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Stories like this get me tempted to start my own business selling miniatures and figuring out what advertising and psychological tactics will most effectively squeeze money out of my customer base. How often do you have to have a huge sale to make sure your customers don't fall out of the habit of checking your website and opening their wallets? How do you design the lore and composition of your minis to make sure that no matter how many your customers buy, they always feel like something's missing and need to buy more? How high can you price your minis before the customers stop calling it the grognard tax and start calling it boldfaced extortion? Do you even need to make an effort to sell paints and related supplies, or is it more profitable to just keep pressuring your customers to buy minis faster than they can paint them?
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Aug 6, 2015 05:19
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Pittsburgh Lambic posted:Stories like this get me tempted to start my own business selling miniatures and figuring out what advertising and psychological tactics will most effectively squeeze money out of my customer base. You'd do well at Games Workshop
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Aug 6, 2015 06:01
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Just to put things in perspective here, dude... you were spending the equivalent of an entire one of my paychecks on minis each month. Two weeks of my hard work, half my monthly income, being thrown at minifigures you haven't even painted. Shameful. Actually, I'm really glad you're trying to look at things from a fresh perspective here because that kind of spending could be ruinous even at your tidy income level. Your therapist had some good suggestions for curbing your nickel-and-dime spending habits. I work at a home improvement store and I understand the urge, especially with a brand-new house, to go out and buy ALL THE SHINY TOOLS so that you are prepared for whatever big adult home-improvement projects you may want or need to tackle. As somebody who also bought a fixer-upper home 5 years ago and also has a tendency to pick up projects (like minis and games) and get bored halfway through them... let me warn you. 1) After working all day most human beings do not want to come home and face a war zone of half-finished home improvement projects. This will become depressing and you will start looking for things to buy that will "help me finish the project!". Don't start more than one thing at a time, do it right the first time, and limit your spending to what you NEED for that project. Home Depot rents miter saws if you must have one for putting up that shelving in the corner... 2) It's really, really easy (as you've noticed already) to nickel-and-dime your budget to death if you're making a ton of little purchases for your projects. I see this all the time at my store. People show up to buy tile for their bathroom, but don't buy the tools or the grout "because I'm not ready to do it yet." They show up again the next week for their tools, have a hard time picking their grout color because they don't know what tile they picked out, can't remember if they bought sponges last time, buy more, realize they had some at home and spend another trip back to return the unused stuff. Don't be those people. Save your gas and your sanity. Make a list (or ask an associate to help you make one) and buy it all at once. This will also help you realize the total cost of a project up front instead of having to sort through receipts to figure it out. Good luck, man.
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Aug 6, 2015 19:08
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How the hell do I determine what's a legit expense vs what's a "spending" expense? I'm sitting here like thinking "I want to build a desk" and sure, it's not that expensive if I buy the materials and build it myself, but at the same time, am I responsible for the lumber out of that last 100 bucks I got to last me months? This is very, very frustrating. I mean, ok my wife doesn't want to split the cost of a reciprocating saw because she says she'll never use it, but I don't watch TV yet I split the cost of Netflix.
signalnoise fucked around with this message at 03:19 on Aug 7, 2015 |
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Aug 7, 2015 03:17
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signalnoise posted:I mean, ok my wife doesn't want to split the cost of a reciprocating saw because she says she'll never use it, but I don't watch TV yet I split the cost of Netflix. Splitting finances leads to resentment? nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.......
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Aug 7, 2015 03:23
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Droo posted:Splitting finances leads to resentment? nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....... This is why I'm trying to head this off at the pass and get a solid understanding. Frustration and resentment are NOT something I want. What's a good set of rules here?
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Aug 7, 2015 03:24
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signalnoise posted:This is why I'm trying to head this off at the pass and get a solid understanding. Frustration and resentment are NOT something I want. What's a good set of rules here? Well, in your situation I would buy the cheapest desk I could find on Craigslist because you are about to be in a lot of financial pain and there are better ways to spend time than building a desk. I imagine you could get something for $20. As far as finances in general, I always advocate combining finances and giving each person an equal spending allowance. I would consider Netflix a joint expense, and in your case I wouldn't buy a saw right now. As a married guy with a couple houses and lots of tools, I would probably attribute at least 70% of the times I've used my reciprocating saw to poo poo that my wife wanted, so I also don't really think it's fair to call it "your" saw.
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Aug 7, 2015 03:38
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signalnoise posted:How the hell do I determine what's a legit expense vs what's a "spending" expense? I'm sitting here like thinking "I want to build a desk" and sure, it's not that expensive if I buy the materials and build it myself, but at the same time, am I responsible for the lumber out of that last 100 bucks I got to last me months? This is very, very frustrating. I mean, ok my wife doesn't want to split the cost of a reciprocating saw because she says she'll never use it, but I don't watch TV yet I split the cost of Netflix. You want to buy a saw and you want to buy lumber for a bench that you want to build. It's your expense, so it comes out of your expense money. What happened to the bench that you already have that you bought stuff for to clean it up and use it?
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Aug 7, 2015 03:48
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COOL CORN posted:You want to buy a saw and you want to buy lumber for a bench that you want to build. It's your expense, so it comes out of your expense money. That is a garage item Well gently caress it I'll see if I can fit it through the back door I guess signalnoise fucked around with this message at 04:15 on Aug 7, 2015 |
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Aug 7, 2015 03:58
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Talked that poo poo out with my wife and it's all good because we're chill people Also we went over our YNAB poo poo budgeting for next month instead of this month and goddamn this is gonna be some austerity poo poo
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Aug 7, 2015 04:33
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signalnoise posted:Talked that poo poo out with my wife and it's all good because we're chill people Can we see the budget?
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Aug 7, 2015 06:53
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signalnoise posted:How the hell do I determine what's a legit expense vs what's a "spending" expense? I'm sitting here like thinking "I want to build a desk" and sure, it's not that expensive if I buy the materials and build it myself, but at the same time, am I responsible for the lumber out of that last 100 bucks I got to last me months? This is very, very frustrating. I mean, ok my wife doesn't want to split the cost of a reciprocating saw because she says she'll never use it, but I don't watch TV yet I split the cost of Netflix. legit expenses : lunch, gas, catfood, orange juice, car tag renewal, batteries, telephone, gas, utilities, toiletries, socks spending expenses : bars, movies, games, fancy clothes, coffee, electronics, jewelry, books, magazines, hobbies (tools, minis), furniture (to clarify, it's a spending expense regardless of if you DIY or buy) my wife and I don't "split the cost" - we just have a joint checking account and credit cards - and I'll be honest, I'm guilty of buying tools and poo poo and taking up hobbies that don't always get finished as quickly as they should - but both of us drat well know it's a spending expense, and when my gal is like 'I'm going to go spend $100 on a dress I really want' I can't say poo poo because I know I spent $77 at home depot last week to work on some shelving projects in our house, and went out to a bar with some friends for $30. neither of us use it to our advantage or have any resentment - the goal is always to save as much money as humanly possible - but sometimes you need to build a goddamn shelf, and sometimes you need a really cute dress. if you have budgeting problems, clarify the parameters of your spending expenses, and work out an arrangement that rings true for both of you.
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Aug 7, 2015 07:47
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pig slut lisa posted:Can we see the budget? It's incomplete, but here's what is staring at me: 
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Aug 7, 2015 13:02
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ONE HUNDRED FORTY THREE DOLLARS FOR INTERNET?!?!?! Did you skip like 5 bills or something?
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Aug 7, 2015 19:26
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Includes phone
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Aug 7, 2015 19:27
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signalnoise posted:Includes phone Even with phone, internet and cable TV that would seem high. Edit: Do you actually need a land line? I assume you both have cells. My wife and I have owned a home for 5 years without one. And if you really need one, threaten to switch providers and milk a promotional deal out of them for 6 months.
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Aug 7, 2015 19:37
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Probly cause it's a business line. We made the decision that internet speed is more important to us than whatever else we'll have to sacrifice for that money.
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Aug 7, 2015 19:38
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signalnoise posted:Probly cause it's a business line. We made the decision that internet speed is more important to us than whatever else we'll have to sacrifice for that money. If it's a business line then why is it in your budget? Aren't your business finances separate from your personal ones? Also you really need to price out those internet speeds you're in way excess on your plan if it's that much. Veskit fucked around with this message at 19:47 on Aug 7, 2015 |
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Aug 7, 2015 19:44
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Veskit posted:If it's a business line then why is it in your budget? Aren't your business finances separate from your personal ones? I'm not up on his business situation, but business finances need to be completely separate from personal finances or else bad things will happen if the IRS audits you or a lawsuit ever comes up. If you're just sloshing money around between accounts, you may end up losing your personal money if your business gets sued or owes taxes.
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Aug 7, 2015 19:53
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It'd be news to me if there's something illegal about paying for a business line for a residence. I mean what I'm concerned about is higher speeds + no data cap.
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Aug 7, 2015 20:00
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It's not a business expense, it's just "business class" level internet.
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Aug 7, 2015 20:13
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Correct
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Aug 7, 2015 20:18
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signalnoise posted:Correct That's extremely confusing. You should be spending 60-100 dollars a month less on internet you're going overboard with it for the sake of going overboard. You could easily be spending an extra 80 dollars for 10 mbps depending on the pricing plans, plus you don't even need the phone.
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Aug 7, 2015 20:26
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