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stick one into your rear end and it eliminates rear end odor. genius! anybody want to get a startup going with me?
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Jul 19, 2015 20:25
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| # ? Apr 16, 2024 19:02 |
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good thread idea, i like it. i don't understand how we have not evolved beyond making GBS threads in a hole and using something to wipe the remnants our of our butts. seems like science should be working on a way of eliminating the need to poop altogether imo. idk what the heck these nerdlingers are doing as far as that issue goes. should be the #1 legislative priority come election time i would think
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Jul 19, 2015 20:27
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I am not sure what I ate but suppositories won't help.
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Jul 19, 2015 20:27
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I haven't had to wash or starch my clothes in years thank to fabreeze. Are you saying I could also give up farting and making GBS threads in private?
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Jul 19, 2015 20:28
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Horniest Manticore posted:stick one into your rear end and it eliminates rear end odor. genius! anybody want to get a startup going with me? have you tried washing
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Jul 19, 2015 20:34
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Funky See Funky Do posted:I haven't had to wash or starch my clothes in years thank to fabreeze. Are you saying I could also give up farting and making GBS threads in private? i mean, if it's something you enjoy then by all means. if it causes a problem -- pants odor, anyone? -- then i think i've got the solution for you
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Jul 19, 2015 20:34
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Overwrought single mum: I have a really important business meeting but my shirt stinks! Me: *kicks down the door* Not a problem ma'am. *farts on the shirt* Suspicious but coming over to my side single mother: Wow, it smells so clean and fresh! Me: Go get that promotion, tiger!
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Jul 19, 2015 20:40
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[man spraying can after can of axe body spray up his unwashed and unwiped anus] voiceover: there *has* to be a better way
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Jul 19, 2015 20:53
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I think theres a dryer sheet like thing that you can put in your underwear that filters out the rear end gas
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Jul 19, 2015 20:59
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If there isn't, then I am going to invent one
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Jul 19, 2015 20:59
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I sometimes put a dryer sheet in my back pocket for the day and often get complimented on smelling nice.
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Jul 19, 2015 21:02
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i used to fart a lot but it was silent and not stinky, and i was a boring silent and not stinky person now im a man who farts a lot and it stinks way bad and is like i stuck a trumpet up there. what im trying to say is bad farts feel good man
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Jul 19, 2015 21:03
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youtube commenter posted:[man spraying can after can of axe body spray up his unwashed and unwiped anus] [Wife comes from out of frame and has an exasperated look on her face] Wife: Oh Paul, again? Husband: What do you want me to do Sally? I love Chipotle and I'm not just going to quit cold turkey. Wife: Well, why don't you try this? [Turns toward camera and flashes a huge smile and hold up package] rear end-B-Gone. The first Fart Freshening suppository. Husband: [Stands up straight and can of Axe falls from between rear end cheeks.} rear end-B-Gone? How does it work? Wife: Just remove the suppository from the sealed package and gently massage it into your rear end in a top hat with the handy, helpful applicator. [Holds up a plunger handle] Husband: How convenient! Wife: Yes and what's better, rear end-B-Gone works for hours and hours. Preventing unseemly smells and swamp rear end. Husband: There has to be a catch. Wife: [shakes head in mock frustration] No silly. Just hours and hours of fresh rear end smells. It even comes in different scents! Husband: Wow!
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Jul 19, 2015 21:06
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its a buttplug on a plunger
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Jul 19, 2015 21:09
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Jul 19, 2015 21:10
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GENTLEMEN, I have perused your late mathematical Prize Question, proposed in lieu of one in Natural Philosophy, for the ensuing year, viz. “Une figure quelconque donnee, on demande d’y inscrire le plus grand nombre de fois possible une autre figure plus-petite quelconque, qui est aussi donnee”. I was glad to find by these following Words, “l’Acadeemie a jugee que cette deecouverte, en eetendant les bornes de nos connoissances, ne seroit pas sans UTILITE”, that you esteem Utility an essential Point in your Enquiries, which has not always been the case with all Academies; and I conclude therefore that you have given this Question instead of a philosophical, or as the Learned express it, a physical one, because you could not at the time think of a physical one that promis’d greater Utility. Permit me then humbly to propose one of that sort for your consideration, and through you, if you approve it, for the serious Enquiry of learned Physicians, Chemists, &c. of this enlightened Age. It is universally well known, That in digesting our common Food, there is created or produced in the Bowels of human Creatures, a great Quantity of Wind. That the permitting this Air to escape and mix with the Atmosphere, is usually offensive to the Company, from the fetid Smell that accompanies it. That all well-bred People therefore, to avoid giving such Offence, forcibly restrain the Efforts of Nature to discharge that Wind. That so retain’d contrary to Nature, it not only gives frequently great present Pain, but occasions future Diseases, such as habitual Cholics, Ruptures, Tympanies, &c. often destructive of the Constitution, & sometimes of Life itself. Were it not for the odiously offensive Smell accompanying such Escapes, polite People would probably be under no more Restraint in discharging such Wind in Company, than they are in spitting, or in blowing their Noses. My Prize Question therefore should be, To discover some Drug wholesome & not disagreable, to be mix’d with our common Food, or Sauces, that shall render the natural Discharges of Wind from our Bodies, not only inoffensive, but agreable as Perfumes. That this is not a chimerical Project, and altogether impossible, may appear from these Considerations. That we already have some Knowledge of Means capable of Varying that Smell. He that dines on stale Flesh, especially with much Addition of Onions, shall be able to afford a Stink that no Company can tolerate; while he that has lived for some Time on Vegetables only, shall have that Breath so pure as to be insensible to the most delicate Noses; and if he can manage so as to avoid the Report, he may any where give Vent to his Griefs, unnoticed. But as there are many to whom an entire Vegetable Diet would be inconvenient, and as a little Quick-Lime thrown into a Jakes will correct the amazing Quantity of fetid Air arising from the vast Mass of putrid Matter contain’d in such Places, and render it rather pleasing to the Smell, who knows but that a little Powder of Lime (or some other thing equivalent) taken in our Food, or perhaps a Glass of Limewater drank at Dinner, may have the same Effect on the Air produc’d in and issuing from our Bowels? This is worth the Experiment. Certain it is also that we have the Power of changing by slight Means the Smell of another Discharge, that of our Water. A few Stems of Asparagus eaten, shall give our Urine a disagreable Odour; and a Pill of Turpentine no bigger than a Pea, shall bestow on it the pleasing Smell of Violets. And why should it be thought more impossible in Nature, to find Means of making a Perfume of our Wind than of our Water? For the Encouragement of this Enquiry, (from the immortal Honour to be reasonably expected by the Inventor) let it be considered of how small Importance to Mankind, or to how small a Part of Mankind have been useful those Discoveries in Science that have heretofore made Philosophers famous. Are there twenty Men in Europe at this Day, the happier, or even the easier, for any Knowledge they have pick’d out of Aristotle? What Comfort can the Vortices of Descartes give to a Man who has Whirlwinds in his Bowels! The Knowledge of Newton’s mutual Attraction of the Particles of Matter, can it afford Ease to him who is rack’d by their mutual Repulsion, and the cruel Distensions it occasions? The Pleasure arising to a few Philosophers, from seeing, a few Times in their Life, the Threads of Light untwisted, and separated by the Newtonian Prism into seven Colours, can it be compared with the Ease and Comfort every Man living might feel seven times a Day, by discharging freely the Wind from his Bowels? Especially if it be converted into a Perfume: For the Pleasures of one Sense being little inferior to those of another, instead of pleasing the Sight he might delight the Smell of those about him, & make Numbers happy, which to a benevolent Mind must afford infinite Satisfaction. The generous Soul, who now endeavours to find out whether the Friends he entertains like best Claret or Burgundy, Champagne or Madeira, would then enquire also whether they chose Musk or Lilly, Rose or Bergamot, and provide accordingly. And surely such a Liberty of Expressing one’s Scent-iments, and pleasing one another, is of infinitely more Importance to human Happiness than that Liberty of the Press, or of abusing one another, which the English are so ready to fight & die for. — In short, this Invention, if compleated, would be, as Bacon expresses it, bringing Philosophy home to Mens Business and Bosoms. And I cannot but conclude, that in Comparison therewith, for universal and continual UTILITY, the Science of the Philosophers above-mentioned, even with the Addition, Gentlemen, of your “Figure quelconque” and the Figures inscrib’d in it, are, all together, scarcely worth a FART-HING.
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Jul 19, 2015 21:19
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Rutibex posted:GENTLEMEN, Well that explains why the alley behind the mens shelter smells like country garden.
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Jul 19, 2015 21:28
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How soon can I buy these?
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Jul 19, 2015 22:39
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