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Stephen9001 posted:Yeah, that that was just my response to some guy saying "I may have to spring for a PS4", I was essentially thinking "you don't need a PS4 if you can get it on PC". Did you not see the part where I mentioned another game too? As in, I'm not buying a console for one game, but if there are other games on that console that I'd buy then it makes it more worth it.
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Dec 11, 2015 14:13
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Thing I do believe you didn't mention: whenever you enter a bathroom, you can poop in the toilet. You can then pick up the poop and that's an item called the poo poo Nugget. Throwing a poo poo Nugget grosses out an opponent, and it's pretty convenient that it constitutes an item use as you can attack afterwards.
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Dec 11, 2015 15:12
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Neige posted:Thing I do believe you didn't mention: whenever you enter a bathroom, you can poop in the toilet. You can then pick up the poop and that's an item called the poo poo Nugget. Throwing a poo poo Nugget grosses out an opponent, and it's pretty convenient that it constitutes an item use as you can attack afterwards. I believe that was in like the very first update.
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Dec 11, 2015 15:50
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Neige posted:Thing I do believe you didn't mention: whenever you enter a bathroom, you can poop in the toilet. You can then pick up the poop and that's an item called the poo poo Nugget. Throwing a poo poo Nugget grosses out an opponent, and it's pretty convenient that it constitutes an item use as you can attack afterwards. From the first update...  We can also interact with the toilet.  
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Dec 11, 2015 16:27
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Hello everyone. This is the real last update for South Park: The Stick of Truth. I know you're all torn up about this turn of events. Anyway, this is just going to be a bunch of dialogue and recycled images. So shall we get started? These first sets are just generic townie dialogue. If you're familiar with the concept of "barking" in terms of video games, that's just what this is. (Barking, if you're unfamiliar, is just something a NPC says when you get close to them. The most infamous example being from Skyrim and "I used to be an adventurer like you until I took an arrow to the knee.") Some of the dialogue all through this update is going to be repeats of stuff I showed off in the course of the main LP. Just bear with me past all of that.  : Goddamn kids.: Is that your nose?: What's wrong with your nose?: You will never get laid looking like that, kid.: I used to be sad, but then I found Jesus at the church.: Hey, Big Nose. You should consider having some work done.: For the life of me I can't explain how I keep losing all my underpants!: Some mornings I wake up with a sore rear end in a top hat. I must be sleeping on it funny.: Stay out of the Lost Forest. Sure it's got treasure, but they say there's no way out.: Have you accepted Christ into your heart? The South Park church is two blocks that way...: I saw two rats running around last time I was at Skeeter's Bar. I'll probably still eat there.: (DAY 2) A Taco Bell! Can you believe it?!: (DAY 2) All I did was ask the guard about gorditas and he put me in a chokehold, jeez!: (DAY 2) Biggest drat Taco Bell I've ever seen. Makes the Applebee's look like a pile of dog poo poo.: (AFTER RAT QUEST) Skeeter really cleaned up that bar of his. Next thing you know there'll be soap in the bathroom.: (DAY 3) Hello, New Kid.: (DAY 3) Send 'em back to Germany, I say.: (DAY 3) I like a kid who lets his actions speak for him.: (DAY 3) I wish MY kid was as friendly as you. : Lovely weather.: Excuse me.: Where are your parents?: Ugh, will this snow ever melt?: The best way to get to Canada is North.: I heard City Wok is serving Mongolian food now.: I always see these strange emo children smoking next to the school.: If you ever want some work done on your nose, see Dr. Tom. He's the best.: If you're every traveling, Photo Dojo has a great deal on passport photos.: I swear I heard a voice coming up from the sewers. It said something like "Ho-dee how.": I LOVE my Wolf Security System. I refuse to be the victim of a white burglar. Or a white serial killer.: I know you aren't supposed to give money to panhandlers, but this vice president kept accosting me and I felt so bad for him.: (after RHINOPLASTY) Nice nose.: (DAY 2) I can't decide what taco I should order first. Maybe I'll get em all!: (AFTER CLINIC QUEST) Looks like Unplanned Parenthood got bombed again. You believe that?!: (DAY 3) Go get 'em, New Kid.: (DAY 3) You're the New Kid I've been hearing about.: (DAY 3) Are you the kid who's making all those friends? : You're weird.: Don't talk to me.: Can you keep a secret? Neither can I.: Craig's so hot. Like he just doesn't give a gently caress.: I hope you're not playing that dumb game with everyone.: (DAY 2) I heard some kids trashed the school last night.: (after goth quest) Is it true you made an alliance with the goth kids?: (DAY 3) Text me sometime.: (DAY 3) We should hang out!: (DAY 3) My friend has a crush on you.: (DAY 3) Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod, you are SO cute! : Who the gently caress are you?: Sorry, I've already got friends.: You're kinda creeping me out, dude.: There's some weirdo hanging out at the public storage. I'm not going back there.: There's a rumor the girls have a secret base, but I've never seen it.: (DAY 2) School's cancelled. Taco Bell rules!: (DAY 3) Hey, what's up?: (DAY 3) Stay gold, New Kid.: (DAY 3) Hey, you're that popular kid.: (DAY 3) Hey man, I'm having a thing later if you wanna come.The rest of the update is going to show an image from the LP of a location. All the dialogue reflects things said in and around that location.   : There's this cool old dude who sells clothes on the other side of town.: Enjoy your popularity and one point nine children and your 401k, conformist.: Find your own pit of despair. God! : I see only death and decay. You are a rotting corpse to me.: We are all dying from the moment we are born. : Oh please. What goth kid walks around in THOSE clothes? : We don't hang with conformists, go get the stuff to look like we do.: Go conform somewhere else, kid.When you start goth quest. : You're not goth! Where are your cigarettes?! gently caress off!: If you're looking for smokes, the sixth graders are always hanging up near Jimbo's Guns.After you have both cigarettes and goth clothes. : You think that's all it means to be goth?! You don't even have coffee!After you recruit the goths. : Isn't it great to finally know how much everything sucks?: I'll show you how to eat people's souls if you want.: Make yourself at home. You're safe here.: We're gonna go to the graveyard later and dwell on our own mortality if you wanna come.  : Butters got a horrible snuggie over there. : This is where the fifth graders gave Butters a brutal snuggie. : This is where the fifth graders gave Butters that brutal snuggie. : One time I got the worst snuggie behind that building over there, it sucked.  : You can't expect me to pat you on the back just because you've made a few friends. As soon as you have a LOT of friends, then I'll be proud.: You're really gonna go outside with that hair?: So you realize that your hair looks like that?: C'mon, son. Get out there. Make friends.: Hmm. You're not as ugly as I remember.: Son, I'll give you twenty dollars if you talk right now.: Go play with your new friends today. (DAD friends you)The script claims that Dad won't friend you on Facebook until after the main quest. It actually takes somewhere between 40 and 50 friends. I don't remember if I ever showed that off or not, so here it is.  : Oh, look, you've made friends! I'll be your friend too, sweetie. It'll make you look popular. (MOM friends you): Go look around the neighborhood.: Go on outside, sweetie.: Watch out for strangers.: I hope your new friends are well behaved. : I love how you have customized your room experience.: Nice goldfish. I had to get rid of mine after it killed a bunch of people. : Wow, these decorations really reflect your personality.: Man, this room is like as big as Kenny's whole house. So, pretty small.  : (Day 2) Never cared for tacos. I prefer snails. Do you prefer tacos, or snails? : Welcome to MY room!: (passing his hamsters) Those are my minions. They help me punish society.: So this is where Butters hangs out all those weeks and weeks he's grounded.: Usually, we can't come in here because Butters is grounded.: I used to have a room like this. Back in kindergarten.: So this is where Butters spends all his groundings. : That goo helps you stay hydrated.  : You kids be careful, now!: I've had my problems raising Eric, but somehow he always forgives me.: My Eric certainly has a lot of little playmates. He's such a friendly boy.: I made some powdered donut pancake surprise if you boys get hungry later! : Dude, how jealous are you right now?: (passing his bed) I see the Grand Wizard still employs the services of Chancellor Prissypants. : (This is the King's bedroom. Hehe, l-listen, watch this (giggling) HNNNGH... (laughing)): Uhh, this is the King's room. I don't think we're supposed to be in here. What exactly are you looking for? : (if you aren't with Cartman) ... : Look but don't touch, brah.: It's like all of Cartman's bullshit, all in one place.: It's like all of Cartman's bullshit, all in one place.: Wow, Eric has a lot of cool stuff!: Wow, it's like all of Cartman's bullshit, all in one place. : I don't know what made me think of it, but I'd love a bucket of chicken right now.: This is where Cartman does magic. Smells like the wizard is brewing some potion in here. Some wizard's stew. Huh, looks like he forgot to flush that stew. : That's my mom's stash. Pretty weak.: Cartman's mom has a crack problem.: I-I don't know if you know, but Cartman's mom smokes crack.: (Cartman's mom smokes crack.): This is where the magic happens. Last week Cartman's mom was here with a few men having a whole lot of magic. She was doin' hand magic and butt magic...: Cartman's mom has a- has a bit of a c-crack problem.  : At first I didn't want to join the KKK at all, but the Grand Wizard made some really good points. : Can't talk! Need to practice! AAAAGH!After Kyle's power point presentation...  : I'm staying back here to guard the base.: How may I be of service?: (store opens) Here's what we're selling today.After the main quest is over... : I feel so relieved now that yesterday's over. AGH! WHAT IF TODAY IS WORSE?!: That's cool you're a king now. Not a WIZARD King like me. But it's still cool.: (if you hit his chicken) Don't touch my chicken!: Princess Kenny said it was all just PMS, but I'm not so sure.: You need my services, Sir Douchebag?: What, you-- you want me to fight with you?! OKAY! This paladin is ready to kick some rear end!: Everything's back the way it was. Almost like it never happened. : So, this is my room.: (taking his underwear) Okaaay...: (taking Stan's underwear) Not gonna ask. Don't wanna know.: (taking Stan's underwear) Thaaaaat's not creepy.: (taking Stan's underwear) I'm sure he'd GIVE you his underwear if you just asked. : I'm never coming out! : (taking RANDY'S underwear) Dude.: (taking RANDY'S underwear) Dude.: (taking RANDY'S underwear) Dude.: (taking RANDY'S underwear) Dude.: (taking RANDY'S underwear) Dude. : This is our bathroom. My dad set a world record on that toilet.: Stan's dad takes big shits.: Stan's dad takes really big shits.: (Stan's dad takes big shits.): Stan's dad takes- t-takes big shits.: Stan's dad takes really big shits.  : Welcome to the neighborhood!: Hey, if you ever wanna sue anybody, you can come to me first okay?: You ever wonder what it'd be like to be a dolphin? Just... doing flips, eating fish, not a care in the world?: (DAY 2) Have you seen the new Taco Bell yet? Incredible! : This is the royal bed and computer chamber.: (passing his desk) That's Wilzyx. He's back on the moon with his family now.: (taking his underwear) Uh, I guess that's cool.: (taking KYLE'S underwear) Uh, I guess that's cool?: (taking KYLE'S underwear) Uh, not cool, dude.: (taking KYLE'S underwear) Uh okay, I guess that's cool.: (taking KYLE'S underwear) Um, okay. : Booo-ring. : That's Kyle's mom. She's a fairly large bitch. : They painted the kitchen this color because Kyle's family really likes gold for some reason.  : The Well of Insight says your future is cloudy. Oh wait, that's bird crap. : We elves craft the finest poo poo in the land. (Shop opens)After Kyle's power point presentation... : (if you side with the KKK) Oh goodie, it's Cartman's little Nazi buddy! How are you and your fat BFF getting along?: You still got more friends to make. Good luck.: Did you get the girls to agree? Speak with one of the Kings.: Need my help with anything?: Perhaps you would like the services of a level 10 bard? There w-was a f-fair maiden from S-S-Stonebury Ha-holloww...: Perhaps you would like the services of a level 10 bard? I am a m-master in the art of songs and jokes. There w-was a f-fair maiden from S-S-Stonebury Ha-holloww... I'm your hu-huckleberry. : I guess this means we're friends for now but I still don't like you, New Kid.: You need my services, Commander Douchebag?: (if you joined the elves) Don't talk to me, talk to Kyle, he's your BFF remember?: You've got to find the girls Commander D... you can do this!: Man this place is super crappy.: It's like a goddamn hippie commune around here...: Kyle's castle is so ghetto.: (I am the fairest princess on this EARTH!): (I think that I could REALLY use your service!) : (if you sided with the humans) You've got a lot of nerve playing in this tree house, traitor.After the main quest is over... : You did well, King Douchebag. That was definitely in the top ten worst things we've ever faced.: The war may be over for now, but I know Wizard loving Fatass is plotting something. : As you can see, Princess Kenny's father seems to have spent the royal fortune on light beer and unfiltered cigarettes. : Oh hey, you're the new kid! My sister the Princess texted me about you. She thinks you're cute.: My sister Kenny doesn't need protecting, but watch out for her anyway.  : Sorry to hear about the renters. Usually they're real fun and energetic.: If you see Kenny tell him to pick up some dinner on his way home. Not them fancy Toaster Strudels though, just regular Pop Tarts.: (if you're with Kenny) You be careful with that dress, Kenny. That's real cheesecloth. : And this is the royal stables. : Jesus, poor people bum me out.: Wow, the Princess reads a LOT of porn! : I got beat up one time over there by that tree. : This is where Jimmy gave me that noogie one time.: I remember once I gave Butters a noogie over there. : You know you can die from a titty twister?: I saw Butters get the worst titty twister here once.: I saw Butters get the worst titty twister around here. : Kind of smells.: We should visit Mr. Hankey while we're here.: Something stinks like poo poo.: Mphhph mph, mhphphpphm.: Something smells like strong magic down here.: A sewer level! Now we're really in a roleplaying game. This dialogue is only for when you're looking for the Hankey children. : Great, I'm dressed up in a sewer looking for poo.: Uh, hey you - I think you stepped in some poo.: Smells like farts around here.: Mph, mphphphm.: I'm getting hungry down here...: Smells like farts. : We have to find those poor, defenseless little poo poo nuggets!: Cool, I'm dressed up down in a sewer looking for pieces of poo poo.: (I hope we can find those little poo poo nuggets!): Hope we can find those little poo poo nuggets!: Hope we can find those n-nuggets! : Douchebag, you are a good man for helping the Hankeys.: This is like finding a dingleberry in a sewer system.: (This is like finding a dingleberry in a sewer system.: This is like finding a dingleberry in a sewer system. : What's all this green goo?: This green stuff looks a bit threatening. : To be honest, I really hadn't even noticed you had a nose.: To be honest I hadn't really even noticed you had a nose.: Mphphphhmphmhpmhpmphphm.: I don't know, I think you have a NICE nose. I would worry more about your hair if I was you.: I'm thinking about getting some work done myself. When you're in the biz, you pretty much have to. : Oh hello, are you interested in some rhinoplasty? Here's a brochure with all of Dr. Tom's rates.: Back again, I see. Let me show you our brochure.: (after you buy something) I'll add you to our email list. Sometimes we do two-for-one specials.: (when you buy a procedure) Oh, yes, that would look great on you! Alright, go on through. Door to your right!: Oh go on through the door to the right. Doctor Tom will get you all fixed up.: Hi, I'm Doctor Tom. Understand you're wanting some work done. Just have a seat right here. Alright, just relax this won't hurt a bit. Until I start, at which point it will hurt immensely. Here we go! (cracking, drilling, sawing noises): (when you exit) Oh, that looks nice. Big improvement. Come back if you ever need any more work done.: Did you have some work done?: Nice nose, dude.: Did you get a haircut or something? You look different.: Gee, I wish I could get some rhinoplasty too.: If you don't mind me saying, your nose is d-d-delightful. : I gave Butters a sweet swirlie one time in that bathroom.: Cartman gave me a swirlie in that public bathroom over there one time. : My pirating days are behind me now, thankfully.: Playing pirate is better than BEING a pirate. Who wants to live in stinky old Somalia anyway?: Ahoy, Maplebeard!: Ahoy, Maplebeard!: A-ahoy, Maplebeard! : Avast there, matey! None shall pass! : I am a pirate king! : Some kids gave me the worst pink belly over there one time. There is a whole list of what the Mongolian kids will say, but the script just has best guesses at it. Just imagine a picture of a Mongolian kid and 18 separate instances of (Speaking Mongolian.)  : Ohh, nice, a door puzzle.: Oh boy, a door puzzle!: (unenthused) Oh, cool, a door puzzle.: (Oh cool, a door puzzle.): Oh boy, a door puzzle!: Oh boy, a nifty door puzzle! : I gave Butters the best wet willie over there one time.: Stan, one time, gave me the grossest wet willie right here. : Oh man, I remember getting beat up right over there! : Hey I just got a text from Jimmy. He says he'd love to check this place out.: Something about this place reminds me of Jimmy.: Mphphm mphphm!: You should bring Jimmy here. I think he'd like it! : I'm following YOU here. I hope you weren't following me.: I think we should go that way.: Haven't we been here before?: I think we should go that way.: Maybe we should just stay put and wait for someone to rescue us.: I-I think we should probably go that way.: I think we should go that way.: (Haven't we already been here before?): (I think we should go that way.): I think we should go that way.: I know exactly where we are. We're at the-the-the-th-- we're at the-th-- no actually I don't have any idea where we are.  : Uh, lemme call you back, Larry. What in the name of Oh Henry is an American doing in my office? Who let this kid in?!Next up we have the various lines that the companions will shout during battle.  STARTING FIGHT : Hey fellas.: Holy frijoles!: Can't you take a joke?: Looks like we're being heckled.: Your pain will be music to my ears.: You're messin' with a Crip now, fool.: We really know how to draw a crowd.: This will be my g-greatest performance!: How's everybody doing tonight? Good?: I am just a humble bard. Surely my music is no match for a hero like you.IDLE : Don't forget to tip your serving wench.: Do you like the taste of salted pork rump in your m-mouth?: All the world's a stage and it's time you got the h-hook.: I just took a galley from across the sea and boy are my arms tired.: So apparently the plague is going around. Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? Yeah, I hear it's spread by rats and the Wizard King's m-m-mom.INJURED : [Labored breathing]: This could be my swan song.: I may die, but my jokes will be immortal.: Don't let another great artist die young.: Soon I'll be writing harp jingles for the a-angels.POWER CHORD : And now for my next trick. (plays his lute): Watch and be amazed. (plays his lute)ATTACKING (BROWN NOTE) : Behold, the relaxing power of music.: And now a sour note for a sour stomach.: This next piece really resonates with people.: You seem uptight. I've got just the thing. : Here's a little ditty that'll make your pants lovely.: (after attack) Set em up and kn-knock 'em down.: (after attack) Wow, what a terrific target.BLOCKING : Phew!: Surely you jest.: I mean come on...: Got any NEW material?: Gotta have a thick skin in my line of work.: It's all in the ti-t-timing.: It's all in the t--t-time... It's all in the ti-ti... It's all in the timin... Time... Timing!BEING HIT : Knave!: Yowza!: Oh yeah?: That smarts!: Swine shagger!: That all you got?: That all you g-got?: You s-swine shagger!: Oh you dirty w-wench!: A pox on your nuts!: You want a p-piece of this?: A p- a p- a p-p-pox on thee!DYING : You've... been... terrific...: Everyone's a... c-critic...: Oh... y-y-wow... Y-you've been... t-terrific!VICTORY : Hu-Huzzah!: Another feather in my cap.: Thanks for coming out tonight!: Did somebody say "Encore"?: Thank you! I'll be here all fortnight!: The lute is mightier than the sword.: This'll make a great verse in my heroic poem. STARTING FIGHT : To victory!: Oh HELL no.: Battle stations!: Come at me, brah.: loving weak, dude.: You shall not pass m'hya!: Respect my kingly authoritah.: You want to throw down, dawg? I'll throw down.: You come to try and stop me? It isn't gonna work.: Screw you guys I'm beating the poo poo out of you.: Dude, seriously, I think we've fought enough guys already.: This looks like a job for the Grand Wizard and his trusty sidekick.IDLE : Skip.: Not cool, dude.: Dude, what are you doing?: Dude, do you have any snacks?: Just pick something already.: I'll make you eat your parents.: You know what they call a Jewish woman's boobs? Jewbs.: Never send a Jew elf to do a Wizard King's job.: I could go for some fried chicken skins right now.: If only Polly Prissy Pants could see me now.: Douchebag, the whole world doesn't revolve around you, all right? Try to be more considerate.:...and that's when I realized what I thought was a three-headed harpy gorgon was really Kyle's mom.: Seriously, how sweet would it be if I had a spell that would make Kyle suck my balls? Could you imagine?: This one time, when I didn't like a kid... I ground his parents up into chili and fed it to him.INJURED : Protect your king!: [labored breathing]: Help me, Douchebag.: Protect me, noob!: Need... Cheesy... Poofs...: Seriously, I might die.: This is killing me. The human body was not meant to move quickly like this.MAGIC MISSILE : Magic missile!: Lightning bolt!ATTACKING : rear end in a top hat!: Who wants some?: Going down, brah.: Oh it's on, bitch!: I will kick your rear end!: Kiss my balls rear end in a top hat!: Take that you little bitch!: I will kill you where you stand.: Standing right here, let's go, bitch!: Well now you're gonna get it motherfucker!: Looks like you're about to get pwned.: You're loving with the wrong wizard, rear end in a top hat!: You want some of this? (cackles after attacking): (laughs after attacking): I'm gonna do something super killer.WHEN YOU KNOCK SOMEONE OUT : (chortling): So loving awesome.: Ah-ha! No, dude! No loving way!BLOCKING : Weak.: What?!: Uh huh.: Ho-hoo!: You got pwned!: GODDAMMIT NO!: That's right, bitch!: Psh, whatever, dude.: Have to do better than that.BEING HIT : (whining) Nyeeehh: Bitch!: Ow, ow!: ABRUBRU: Mooom!: rear end in a top hat!: Quit it!: Goddammit!: I HATE YOU!: Didn't hurt!: Lucky shot.: Hey, no fair!: Motherfucker!: Oh no you didn't!: Oh I'll get you back.: You think that's loving funny?: You think this is funny, you son of a bitch?: That's how you want it, bitch? Fine!WHEN YOU DIE : Ah, ahhh!: Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!: Ah, son of a bitch!: Oh god dammit, you better be kidding.: What can I do?! How-how can I reverse this?!DYING : Seriously?: Weeeeaaak....: Screw... you... guys...: Remember my... compassion...: Not... cool, you guys...: Tell Kyle... to.. suck my balls...VICTORY : Kick rear end.: Awesome!: gently caress yeah!: I. Am. GOD!: Get the FUDGE out!: All in a day's work.: See New Kid, that's how it's done.: And so the party journeyed onward!: This shall be a day for all to remember!: Perhaps a reward is in order. Gold? Frankenstein-cents?: Nyeah-nyeah-nyeah-nyeah-nyeah-nyeah. Heh heh heh heh heh heh.This is the end of part 1.
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Dec 13, 2015 22:24
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The whole update was way too long by something like 30,000 characters over the limit, so I had to split it in two. This is the start of part 2. STARTING FIGHT : Aw, poo poo.: Oh boy, bad guys!: Well, here we go again.: Y-you're sure about this?: Oh Christ, what a pickle!: Please don't ice me, homie.: Aww, are you gonna rape us?: Fellas! We can work this out!: Why can't you just leave us alone?: I don't LIKE being pushed around!: Well what are we waitin' for!!: We will kill them with compassion!: We're gonna send you straight to heck!: W-what if we just make friends instead?: I hope we don't get in trouble for this.: Ah shucks, when are we gonna catch a break?: It's a good day to die! Uh, for you, that is.: Surrender, or -- or-or bad stuff will happen.: I've killed way bigger guys than you. Well, the new kid has.: Now I-I hope you fellas don't get angry, but I have to smite you.: What the heck, I'm gonna get grounded anyway, might as well!: I'm Butters the Merciful, of the-- well of t-the Knights of Kindheartedness.: The Hammer of Justice shall strike the Nail of Evil into the Board of Being Sorry!: Yo, dawg. Uh, can't I just go right back home after the fight so I don't get grounded?IDLE : I'm tired of being picked on.: You think you're better than me?: Surrender and I will show you mercy!: Aw, the New Kid's screwing around again.: I could use some goddamn poon tang right now.: We don't have to play this game if you're getting bored.: Wait you guys, I have to sneeze... nope, false alarm.: Come on, New Kid! Let's show them what we can do!: Sometimes my dad goes on road trips just to check out all the rest stops.INJURED : HELP!: I don't feel so good.: I don't wanna die!: I feel kind of woozy.: I'm hurt pretty bad!: I don't like this game anymore!: Gosh, I think I might be dying!: If I die my dad's gonna ground me for sure.HEALING TOUCH : Just a buddy.: Walk it off, buddy.: Yeah, there's a buddy.: There you go, pal.: I got your back, yo.: Yeah, that's it, little buddy.: There there, buddy. You're gonna be okay.WHEN YOU DO LIGHTNING VOLT : gently caress 'EM UP!HAMMER OF JUSTICE : By the hammer of Butters!ATTACKING : Ahh!: Eat mercy!: Take that!: En garde!: To battle!: Hey, bad guy!: Sorry about this.: Taste my justice!: Leave us alone!: Justice be done!: You should be nice!: I shall smite thee!: Nobody stops a paladin!BLOCKING : Whew!: Keep tryin'!: That was close!: Eye for an eye!: No, no, no no no!: Hey, I blocked it!: That wasn't so bad.: I'm rubber, you're glue!: You're straight trippin' son.BEING HIT : Ow!: Hey!: Geez!: Meanie!: No, no, no, no, no!: God dammit!: Jesus Christ!: Oh hamburgers!: Hey, that hurt!: What was that for?: Son of a biscuit!: Well, that's not nice.WHEN YOU DIE : Oh hamburgers!: Oh Jesus, no!: Oh sweet Jesus...: Uh, what's the matter?: Oh no! No. Oh, no, no! Oh, no, no!DYING : I'm sorry.: They got me.: (wibbling) Nobody likes me!: (crying): Forgive me... Douchebag...VICTORY : Oh boy!: Whoopie!: We usually win.: Oh boy, we won!: Oh boy! Oh boy!: Boy, this is neat-o, huh?: That serves em right.: That was pretty good!: I really feel sad for em.: Aw, I wanted to show mercy.: You're good at adventuring!: I hope they're just sleeping.: I'm a lot more experienced now!: You think we were too hard on em?: Well gee whiz, I hope I level up!: Another victory for the good guys!: I hope we didn't hurt you too bad!: Maybe now you'll turn your life around.: I think I just found my new bottom bitch.: Well that's what you get for being mean to people!: You gave it your best shot, and that's all Jesus asks of you.: I know violence doesn't solve anything, but I kinda like it. STARTING FIGHT : Let's do it.: You're gonna regret this.: You and what army, dude?: I'll do everything I can.: Oh god, here we go again.: Nature, I heed your call!: You just don't get it, do you?: We stand together against the darkness!: You do NOT want to get on my bad side.: Time for a little rumble in the jungle.: Don't you know who you're dealing with?: Get out of my way or I'll kick your rear end!: Let us restore the balance of nature by kicking rear end.: You gently caress with me, you gently caress with Mother Nature!: We elves may be skinny, but we compensate by being dicks.: By the moon and the stars in the skies, I swear we will destroy you!: You think you're tough? I grew up in the forest. It made me a total badass.IDLE : Are we going again? No?: Hey, let's keep going, huh?: Hey! What the hell are you doing?: So... what do you do for fun?: Oh, are we taking a break now?: No that's cool, I'll just chill here for a minute.: This staff's great for walking and for beating people's brains in.: I still don't get how Cartman got you to think he was cool.ATTACKING : R-tard.RALLY : No quarter!: Come on, we've got this!: Let's gently caress em up!WINDSTORM : I summon the winds!: You're about to get blown!SUMMON ELEMENTAL : Ready Ike? Kick the baby!: Don't kick the goddamn baby.: Kick the baby!BLOCKING : That's it?: Terrible.: Nice try rear end in a top hat!: Stop being an rear end in a top hat!: I barely felt that.: Get the gently caress out of here.: What the hell are you doing?: You have to do better than that.BEING HIT : Ow.: Dude!: Hey!: Oh God!: Ah poo poo!: Stop it!: You suck!: I hate you.: Oh it hurts!: God dammit.: Ah, dammit!: What are you doing?: Oh, god, it burns!: You son of a bitch!: (shrieking) Oh god!: Jesus Christ dude!: Just leave me alone!: Now I'm pissed off!: What are you doing?: What the hell, man?: Why are you doing this?: What's the matter with YOU?: What the hell are you doing?: This is all a bunch of crap.: (frustrated) All right, all right!WHEN YOU KNOCK AN ENEMY OUT : That's awesome!WHEN YOU DIE : No... NO!: Goddammit!: That's retarded.: (deadpan) What?: What the hell just happened?: You son of a bitch!DYING : (sigh) Goddammit.: AAAAAAAH!: GRRRRGGGHHH!: What the hell?: Big mistake!: Forgive me...: (sobbing): (sobbing) Oh it hurts!: (sobbing) Oh, god!: Look after... Ike.: I believe in you!: Bury me... at my base.: This is the worst day of my life.VICTORY : Yes!: That was TEXTBOOK.: That wasn't so bad.: We make a good team.: I am REALLY impressed.: I don't really give a gently caress.: Who says elves are pussies?: We're like a force of nature.: I hope this alliance can last.: Can we get going now, please?: I don't think ANYONE can stop us.: In time, our kingdoms shall be restored.: Space and time are no boundaries for US.: That's why you don't gently caress with the Dragonborn. STARTING FIGHT : Oh boy.: Weak, dude.: I'm over it.: Come on guys!: Let's go dude!: We've got this.: Ah Jesus, not again.: Come on, let's do this!: You'd think they'd know better.: This is gonna be so awesome!: This is getting out of hand!: Rangers do not fear death.: Let's just do this, alright?: Don't be starting poo poo with us!: My ranger sense saw this coming.: This is NOT what we need right now.: Uh excuse me, is this really a good idea?: I am Stan Marshwalker, brother of wolves and badgers.IDLE : Hello?: Can I just take my turn?: You got somewhere you'd rather be?: Dude, what is the hold up?: Are we playing or what?: You mind if I update my status while we're waiting here?: I think my mom did a pretty sweet job with my costume.INJURED : This is not my fight.: I don't feel so good.: My health hath gotten low.: You got a health potion on you?: Kinda, like, dying right now.: Little help over here.: [Labored breathing]: Dude, my injuries are super grievous right now.ATTACKING : You're done!: Taste steel!: Fear my blade! (after hitting) Got 'em!: Check THIS out!: You asked for it.: Kya, kya!: You're going down!MARKED FOR DEATH : Go get em boy!: Go boy!: Attack!: Kill!WHIRLWIND BLADE : Enough!: Let's finish this!: Let's see you stop this!BLOCKING : No way, dude!: Oh no you don't!: You hit like my grandpa.BEING HIT : Stop!: Aw, spit!: Aw, come on!: God damnit.: That does it!: Ya loving dumbass!: What the hell, dude?: Dude, what's your problem?WHEN YOU DIE : Aw, crap!: This can't get any worse.: Oh, no. No, no no!: No... this can't happen!DYING : No!: Ugh.: Oh, god...: Aw, crap.: Goddammit.: What...?: Avenge me!: Son of a bitch!VICTORY : Next!: Total pwnage.: I expected better.: loving nice, dude.: All right, who's next?: That's what you get!: That's enough of that.: I could do this all day.: Man, we ripped poo poo UP.: Dude, we're pretty badass.: Like they even stood a chance.: Oh my God, we killed the enemy!: That coulda sucked a lot worse.: Mess with the beast, you get the claws.: Dude I'm just happy this whole stupid thing is over with. IDLE : (You can take your turn.): (I am the fairest maiden in ALL the land.)INJURED : (Mmph... I feel bad...): (Don't let your poor princess die.): (Mm mph mmmphph save me.): (Seriously, mphph.)WHEN HIT : [gasps] Mrm mm mrm?!: [gasps] Mrm mm mmmrmm!: [gasps] Mrm mmrm mm mrm!: Mrm mm mmm mrmrmmphmm.: (You shouldn't hit girls!)VICTORY : (Woohoo!)This is a list of dialogue you get if you smack someone with your weapon. Presumably there is more, but the script only has these folks listed. : Ow!: Ouch!: That's enough!: Knock it off!: All right, that does it!: Stop it!: Oh my! (She likes it. A lot.) : Cut it out!: Hey!: No! No.: That isn't nice sweetie.: You are THIS close to a time out. : Ow! : Hey! : Mkay!: Hey!: God!: Dick!: Die already, gently caress! : Hey! : Aaah! : Ow!: Hey!: Jeez!: What's the big idea? : Oh, goddammit! : Ohoho, oh it hurts! (Mr. Slave also likes being hit.)Finally we have the only proper way to end a South Park LP: a gigantic list of fart jokes. This is what various characters will say if you fart on them.  : Excuse you. : ManBearPig! He's here! : I wouldn't do that in front of the girls! : Must be happy hour already. : EEEEWWWWW! : You smellied! : Take cover!: Stinky mo-minky.: Sound off, Sergeant!: Whoo, that was stinky!: You draw mud on that one?: [laughing] Tha-tuh funny...: Gee whiz whistle britches!: That one sounded like it hurt.: Maybe you should see a doctor.: [laughs] You should check for mud.: I'd check my drawers if I was you.: [laughs] Somebody's baking brownies.: How did your rear end learn such incredible magic so easily?: EW! [coughs]: Dude, did you poo poo your pants? : Whoa!: Wow.: Sweet.: Nice, brah.: (laughing): Jesus, you smell.: Those ones hurt, huh?: That all you got, brah?: Your insides are rotten, brah.: That's good. Someday I will teach you to do better.: Sometimes air can get pushed up there. : Nice.: Great.: Good point.: Whaddya want, a medal? : Gross.: Whatever.: Ew.: Hey!: Augh.: Stinky.: Enough!: Ah, come on!: Ah, thanks.: Groooss.: What was that?: Put a cork in it!: Can't you just be normal?: Are you... are you trying to communicate?!: You won't make many friends doing that. : Brimstone. : You're good at that! : Oh, no!: I accept your salute.: Eww! (coughs): A windwaker!: That's cheating!: Dude, did you poo poo your pants? : Get me out of here! : I can do that, too!: This is not the good kind of torture. : Why?: Not bad. : A powerful doomsday device!: EW!: Gross!: Ugh! I can taste it!: Get your gross rear end outta here! : That's horrible!: Conformist!HOBO: Some people... : Dude, so weak. : You should get that checked out. : Using the gifts I have given you, I see. : Canadian Barking Spider! Look out!: Yipes.: Oh yeah?: (laughing): That's n-nasty.: Stinky bo-binky.: Oh yeah? Try this one on for size.: Is that the setup or the punchline?: Did you fa-far- Did you fa-fa- poo poo your pants?: I thought you were different... : Oh my god! : You think that's funny?: [laughing]: Mrm mrmph!: Mrm, mrmphphm!: Mrm mrm mrrrmmphm!: (Sick, dude!): (Tee hee hee!): (That was loving disgusting.) : Toxic atmosphere detected.: Wow.: [laughing]: Impressive.: Dude, you stink.: Dude, you okay?: You better check your pants.: That is some sick magic you got there. : You're giving away my position.: Oh my!: Is that Spanish? : Maybe you can talk to Butters about not holding his in all the time. He gets the worst cramps.: So GROSS! : That's no way to get popular.: Uh, don't do that. : Why here? Why now? : Un toot de joyeux.: Ew!: Whoa!: Gross.: Ugh, nice.: Stop it.: Oh my god!: Excuse you!: Was that you?: Do that outside.: Say "excuse me".: That's rude, pumpkin.: Do that in the bathroom!: Is that supposed to be funny?: I need to change your diet.: Sweetie, we talked about that.: Ugh... you take after your father.MONGOLIAN KID: (speaking Mongolian) MONGOLIAN KID: (speaking Mongolian)  : You're gross!: Hey! Quit screwin' around! : Boys will be boys!: Your mommy must be feeding you very well!: Pretty gross, New Kid. : Smells like a Mongolian woman.: You think that's funny?: That's disrespectful, New Kid, mkay?: I've had just about enough of your little butt bubbles, mkay?: Well I hope that's a fart and not some brown grease snake you pinched off in your underoos. : Hey, nice.: Kenny teach you that?: Jesus Christ. Have you been sticking stuff up there? : Could you do that... outside?: Some coffee might clear that up.: Hmm. That's like our dark roast. : Smells more of a dark roast. : Who cut the cheese? : Oh no you didn't.: I just threw up a little.: Do you smell cinnamon?: That's not very goth. : So I'm not the only one!: I know EXACTLY what you're going through.: Dear God.: If the Lord didn't wish us to fart, he wouldn't have given us anuses. : That's something I'd expect from the kindergarteners, young man.: Can you burp good, too?RANCHER BILL: Hooey! RANCHER BILL: Tarnation! : That's JV.: I like it.: Good, but not great.: You've been practicing.: You need more training. : That's not cute at all! : Brought me something, huh? : That was VERY naughty.: Sick!: Gross!: PLEASE stop.: Maybe you have diabetes. : God have mercy on us all.: Kids your age. : Young man, you have to find better ways to express yourself. : You even smell like a turd. : We don't take kindly to those kinds of butt noises round here.: Yuck.: Sweet.: Sheesh.: Sick, dude.: Whoa, dude.: (laughing): Dude, what'd you eat? : Ah, god! There's no ventilation in here!: Huh?: Hello to you, too.: Whoa!: Oh nice ...: Was that you?: Excuse you!: Oh my God!: You hear that?And with that, this LP is finally over. I hope you all enjoyed reading it. Take it easy, y'all. 
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Dec 13, 2015 22:25
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And just for the hell of it...
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Dec 13, 2015 22:27
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Goodnight thread. You've been good.
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Dec 13, 2015 22:52
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Thanks for showing off the game!
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Dec 13, 2015 23:03
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Thanks for the LP, and for introducing us all to such a fun game.
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Dec 13, 2015 23:30
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Wonderful LP.
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Dec 14, 2015 01:33
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Thanks for the LP! I am very glad I didn't buy this when it was on sale. It looks to be a pretty good game but I cannot stand 70% of Southpark's humor. 'Foretold by Coldwell Banker' still makes me grin though.
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Dec 14, 2015 03:16
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Well done, man. This turned out really well, and I wish there was more of it to show off, but you've earned a break.
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Dec 14, 2015 03:19
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This LP could go all the way to Myrrh.
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Dec 14, 2015 04:12
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