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Will Stitch be back in to work the UFC? This poll is closed. |
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| Yes |
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5 | 8.93% |
| No |
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19 | 33.93% |
| If he does I hope he brings my dad back from buying cigarettes |
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32 | 57.14% |
| Total: | 56 votes | ||
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I took it all for granted But how was I to know That you'd be letting go Now it cuts like a knife https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VZhSkREYBc Welcome to the UFC on FOX 16 GDT! The main card is 8 p.m. ET July 25 on, as the name implies, FOX. Well gang, this is a brave new era. An era where everyone wears identical pants, and the best cutman in the business isn't there to patch things up and make the agony of defeat a little less painful.  Stitch was so goddamn good, the Klitschko brothers schedule fights based on his availability. And he's gone, all because of the worst jerseys of all time. But maybe it's not so bad. Hell, just a few months ago in The Year Of Our Lord 2015, we watched Kimbo Slice vs. Ken Shamrock in the main event of a fairly major promotion. I think this means we've returned to the JUST BLEED ERA!  Here's hoping none of these gushy ladies and gentlemen find themselves on the wrong end of a doctor's stoppage, because their odds of doing so have improved. FOR THE UFC BANTAMWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP  TJ Dillashaw (c) vs.  Renan “Outrageously Hi-Res” Barao Last time these guys fought, TUF 14 runner-up TJ Dillashaw surprised the world by coming out of nowhere and kicking the everloving poo poo out of Renan Barao before the champ finally went down in the fifth, relinquishing his crown. TJ benefited in a huge way from the tutelage of Dwayne “Bang” Ludwig as he really pulled it all together and became one of the division's most formidable strikers in short order after Ludwig came to Team Alpha Male. That said, despite being a relative unknown before his seemingly overnight success, Dillashaw was never a guy to sleep on. His only losses in his MMA career are to John Dodson and Raphael Assuncao (the latter of which was a split decision that earned Fight of the Night.) Although his bout against very-short-notice-replacement Joe Soto was less dominant, he still secured a round 5 KO in almost the exact same way. Look for cutting sharp angles, insanely quick movement and setting up a big head kick after wearing down his opponent. The last time these two were scheduled to fight, Renan Barao shocked the world by dropping a TKO to a bathtub. I'd say look for Barao to show some real urgency to finish the fight and regain the belt but his last outing against Mitch Gagnon was an outrageously tepid affair until he pulled out an arm-triangle choke, and the bulk of the fight leadup for this weekend's bout was Barao claiming the man who beat him so badly he probably forgot significant portions of his childhood has “Barbie hands,” so he is probably gonna lose real bad. Just as well, tbqh. Women's Bantamweight  Miesha Tate vs.  Jessica Eye Miesha Tate is good at nothing but competent at most things, which makes her a force to be reckoned with in the shallow waters of W135. She's dating Bryan Caraway, who is a fucknuckle. She was nicknamed “Takedown” before switching to “Cupcake” because the latter does not imply she knows how to perform a takedown. As a psychological self-preservation mechanism, is impossible for the human brain to remember her “fight” with Rin Nakai. Despite all of this, she is the only woman to last longer than 5 minutes against champ Ronda Rousey. This fight is a No. 1 contender bout to determine who gets the next crack at Jessica Eye, who is 1-1, 1 NC in the UFC, stands to earn a title shot. That's the shape in which Ronda has left her division. Despite her struggles in the big show however, Eye does have a formidable 10-1 record outside of the UFC, only losing to an (admittedly undersized) Aisling Daly. She is also the person on this bloodbath of a card to be more notable for drawing blood from someone else — she drat near punched Leslie Smith's ear right off her head.  http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/11/17/1416219628947_wps_32_UFC_fighter_Leslie_Smith_.jpg Lightweight  Edson Barboza vs.  Paul Felder OP's note: neither of these people are Anthony Pettis or Myles Jury. (In the case of the latter, that's a good thing.) Barboza has Jose Aldo's legs and Brendan Schaub's chin and idea of grappling defense. This leads to objectively great or funny performances every time (unless you're Bobby Green.) He has three leg-kick TKOs on his record. He was also put away by Stupid Unimportant Person Jamie Varner. If this doesn't get Fight of the Night it's almost a lock for a Performance award one way or the other. Paul Felder is an undefeated fighter who's relatively new to the UFC. He'd probably be called a prospect, but he's 31. His UFC debut wasn't particularly noteworthy, earning a split decision over Jason Saggo. After that he decided to be the last good thing on UFC 182 and knock Danny Castillo into the previous month, earning himself a $50,000 bonus. Lightweight  Joe Lauzon vs.  Takanori Gomi Lauzon for Performance of the Night. Gomi for most Japanese rice lagers consumed shortly before and immediately after the fight. OTHER PEOPLE TO WATCH JUST BLEED FOX Prelims, 6 p.m. Light Heavyweight Gian Villante vs. Tom Lawlor Lightweight Jim Miller vs. Danny Castillo Welterweight Kenny Robertson vs. Ben Saunders Bantamweight Eddie Wineland vs. Bryan Caraway Early Fight Pass Prelims (Which You Should Cancel and Not See In Solidarity With Reddit Dot Com), 4:15 p.m. Lightweight Daron Cruickshank vs. James Krause Lightweight Ramsey Nijem vs. Andrew Holbrook Women's Bantamweight Jessamyn Duke (who is somehow still in the UFC) vs. Elizabeth Phillips Welterweight Zak Cummings vs. Dominique Steele Official Weigh-Ins, 5 p.m. ET July 24 http://www.ufc.com/media/fight-night-chicago-official-weigh-in-2015 OFFICIAL MMA SNACK RATING: Black pudding  INGREDIENTS 4 cups fresh pig's blood 2 1/2 teaspoons salt 1 1/2 cups steel-cut (pinhead) oatmeal 2 cups finely diced pork fat (or beef suet), finely chopped 1 large yellow onion, finely chopped 1 cup milk 1 1/2 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper 1 teaspoon ground allspice PREPARATION 1 Preheat the oven to 325°F and grease 2 glass loaf pans. (If you don't have glass loaf pans, line metal loaf pans with parchment to keep the blood sausage from reacting with the metal and creating an off-flavor.) Stir 1 teaspoon of salt into the blood. 2 Bring 2 1/2 cups water to a boil and stir in the oats. Simmer, stirring occasionally, for 15 minutes, until just tender, not mushy. 3 Pour the blood through a fine sieve into a large bowl to remove any lumps. Stir in the fat, onion, milk, pepper, allspice and remaining 1 1/2 teaspoons salt. Add the oatmeal and mix to combine. Divide the mixture between the loaf pans, cover with foil, and bake for 1 hour, until firm. Cool completely. Seal in plastic wrap and wither freeze for extended use or store in the refrigerator for up to a week. 4 To serve, cut a slice about 1/2-inch thick off the loaf. Fry in butter or oil until the edges are slightly crisped and browned.
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Jul 24, 2015 06:02
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This card is pretty drat good
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Jul 24, 2015 06:25
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Lloyd Boner posted:This card is pretty drat good Yeah I'm pretty bummed I couldn't make it to this one live 
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Jul 24, 2015 06:29
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I really hope Danny Castillo loses. And I guess it would be nice if the other guy won.
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Jul 24, 2015 07:19
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Jim Miller is another guy who has been getting worn down a lot in recent fights. A few years ago he would have no problem with Danny Castillo but these days he might lose.
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Jul 24, 2015 07:30
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Black Pudding is the most revolting thing I've ever tasted.
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Jul 24, 2015 07:58
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Bubba Smith posted:Jim Miller is another guy who has been getting worn down a lot in recent fights. A few years ago he would have no problem with Danny Castillo but these days he might lose. I know, and Danny Castillo is the kind of guy who you just dislike instinctively.
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Jul 24, 2015 08:02
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quote:She was nicknamed “Takedown” before switching to “Cupcake” because the latter does not imply she knows how to perform a takedown. quote:INGREDIENTS 
Kekekela fucked around with this message at 10:28 on Jul 24, 2015 |
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Jul 24, 2015 10:25
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Black Pudding is made out of blood, Kekela. That recipe is legit. Here's hoping Miesha Tate loses and then Bryan Caraway somehow feels all of the pain she does during at the same time. Josuke Higashikata fucked around with this message at 12:56 on Jul 24, 2015 |
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Jul 24, 2015 12:53
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Just re-watched Dillashaw vs Barao. Such a good fight. Dillashaw is a god drat wizard and I don't see Barao doing any better than last time. And it warms my heart to see all the tiny Alpha Males celebrating. Keen for this here card!
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Jul 24, 2015 13:04
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Aurain posted:Black Pudding is made out of blood, Kekela. That recipe is legit.
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Jul 24, 2015 13:26
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Any old butcher will sell it, no doubt, but they'll just sell you Black Pudding anyway, in all likelihood. Not even my dog likes that stuff though.
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Jul 24, 2015 13:57
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i'm actually gonna miss the gomi fight (and hte other less important fights) so i will be praying very hard from a distance
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Jul 24, 2015 14:02
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Kekekela posted:I love when the op is both entertaining and educational None of y'all eaten blood sausage before?
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Jul 24, 2015 14:16
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Black pudding is one of the most delicious things known to man. I'd eat it every day if I had the chance.
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Jul 24, 2015 14:22
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Eww I couldn't possibly eat the blood of an animal. Muscle, fat and skin? Yummy. Bunch of slack-jawed hypocrites in here! Anyway, to fully enjoy black pudding, you must serve it correctly: Take a freshly baked bread roll, preferably white and soft with a brown crusty exterior such as a Scotch Morning Roll. Spread generously with butter, then lay a couple of thick, fried black pudding slices on it. Finish with a large dollop of tangy brown sauce. HP sauce in the UK, some sort of weird steak sauce in America. Tastes best if you have a raging hangover.
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Jul 24, 2015 15:13
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48hRG3k9PWo&t=510s Blood sausage deliciousness.
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Jul 24, 2015 15:21
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The entire first fight is up on YT by the way. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6vzRDv5PdI That punch TJ lands at 1:03 of the first is just  . When they show the replay it actually looks like Barao was out for a sec.
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Jul 24, 2015 16:36
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I hope Jessica Evil Eye wins. She won me over when she Evil Eared Leslie Smith
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Jul 24, 2015 17:08
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God bless FOX cards. They're the most consistently good cards the UFC runs.
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Jul 24, 2015 17:20
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Cuckoo posted:I hope Jessica Evil Eye wins. She won me over when she Evil Eared Leslie Smith Also really want Eye to win because I'm tired of Tate and don't want Tate/Rousey 3 to happen.
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Jul 24, 2015 17:27
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I'm on the Eye train for tomorrow but female strikers typically are not good unless you are Cyborg or Joanna so she will probably lose.
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Jul 24, 2015 17:30
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Le Saboteur posted:Also really want Eye to win because I'm tired of Tate and don't want Tate/Rousey 3 to happen.  Though Tate might avoid tying up with Ronda more in a third fight since pretty much every time she tried it in this one she got mercilessly countered (though she did land one takedown which is better than most can say).
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Jul 24, 2015 17:52
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colonel_korn posted:The second fight had lots of cool throws at least. I love how she lets her right leg shoot up so her entire weight is just coming down on Tate's chest. Thats some good technique.
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Jul 24, 2015 17:55
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I watch FightPass probably 2 hours a week at least and for some reason I've never re-watched Ronda/Tate II. I'm going to have to get to that this weekend considering it was probably Ronda's most exciting fight (that or the Carmouche fight).
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Jul 24, 2015 17:58
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The Jessica Eye vs. Leslie Smith ear punch is one of my favourite gross injuries of all time so I''m just gonna make a post celebrating it here.   
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Jul 24, 2015 18:56
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wow that had to be a stoppage yeah?
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Jul 24, 2015 18:59
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Jst0rm posted:wow that had to be a stoppage yeah? It was, but Leslie Smith was still trying to protest with her ear hanging half off.
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Jul 24, 2015 19:02
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Dr. Abysmal posted:It was, but Leslie Smith was still trying to protest with her ear hanging half off. That was awesome. She busted out some Spanish and got a chant going from the Mexican fans.
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Jul 24, 2015 20:17
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I hope Jessica blows up both of Miesha's ears as punishment for her performance in the Rin Nakai fight.
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Jul 24, 2015 21:00
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Le Saboteur posted:Also really want Eye to win because I'm tired of Tate and don't want Tate/Rousey 3 to happen.
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Jul 24, 2015 21:14
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the weigh-ins are currently reminding me that the greatest tragedy of the reebok deal is tom lawlor can't do any cosplay
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Jul 24, 2015 22:21
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Are there any particular prelim fights I should be looking for? I'm going to be doing some work, but I can tune in for a few. edit: i type good E4C85D38 fucked around with this message at 22:35 on Jul 24, 2015 |
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Jul 24, 2015 22:28
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E4C85D38 posted:Are there any particular prelim fights I should be looking for? I'm going to be doing some work, but I can tune in for a few. Actually all the FOX prelims look pretty good.
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Jul 24, 2015 22:38
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E4C85D38 posted:Are there any particular prelim fights I should be looking for? I'm going to be doing some work, but I can tune in for a few. Wineland Caraway stands out, as does Miller Castillo. But I agree with fatherdog, you can't go wrong on the televised portion.
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Jul 24, 2015 22:43
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Oh my god, this CM Punk interview, hahaha.
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Jul 24, 2015 22:49
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For those who weren't watching, everyone made weight. Barao had to take off his shorts, but made it on his 2nd try with the towel
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Jul 24, 2015 22:52
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Northjayhawk posted:For those who weren't watching, everyone made weight. Barao had to take off his shorts, but made it on his 2nd try with the towel And Tom Lawlor took off about ten Reebok items.
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Jul 24, 2015 22:56
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reeg posted:the weigh-ins are currently reminding me that the greatest tragedy of the reebok deal is tom lawlor can't do any cosplay Man, I had no idea he was still around. Looks like he's been out for two years. Hope he can still be decent, he ain't that old. At least Villante is bad. Or maybe he isn't, his record's been pretty good lately. Villante will forever be "that dude who got smoked by Chad Griggs" in my head.
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Jul 24, 2015 22:59
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Some nerd tried to get a cheer for Fedor and was met with stony silence.
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Jul 24, 2015 22:59
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