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You frantically check under the sink and see only a bottle of hairspray, assorted female items/hair dryer/makeup, and a box of contact lenses. There are two bath towels and a hand towel hanging near the shower. You have been in the bathroom for 14 minutes and you can hear your date walking up the stairs, probably to check on you.
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Jul 26, 2015 15:33
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 16:50 |
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>check pockets
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Jul 26, 2015 15:34
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This is a CYOA, right?
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Jul 26, 2015 15:34
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Use your fingers, wash your hands. If she asks just claim there was toilet paper in there when you went, you don't know what happened to it.
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Jul 26, 2015 15:36
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If the date checks on you just tell them theres no tp in their bathroom and you can both have an awkward laugh over it afterwards, jeez it aint hard
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Jul 26, 2015 15:37
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this is not a "one wipe" poo poo either
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Jul 26, 2015 15:37
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who shits during a date though
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Jul 26, 2015 15:39
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Lascivious Sloth posted:who shits on a date though you ate lo mein at a hole in the wall asian joint and washed it down with 4 sake bombers
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Jul 26, 2015 15:40
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Pre game with some immodium especially if you are going to be eating mexican
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Jul 26, 2015 15:41
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wipe you rear end with the hand towel, don't be gross and use your hand thats not sanitary.
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Jul 26, 2015 15:41
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fivethree posted:you ate lo mein at a hole in the wall asian joint and washed it down with 4 sake bombers Then I'm a dumbass whose date probably didn't enjoy themselves lol
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Jul 26, 2015 15:41
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>use the hair dryer to dry the poo poo on my rear end The poo poo on your rear end dries after a moment. >hold contact lens in front of bathroom light You notice the lens manages to focus a beam of light onto the floor. >focus light beam on dried poo poo on rear end In a minute's time the dried poo poo on your rear end develops a crust, much like a well-seared steak. Your date calls out from the other side of the door. >ignore him Remembering that you are actually a woman cursed by a gypsy with the inability to wipe from front to back today, you opt to pursue your quest to avoid a UTI and ignore your date as he continues to wait on you, no doubt reinforcing his long-held societal stereotypes about your gender's requirements for time in the bathroom.
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Jul 26, 2015 15:41
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If you just take six or seven Imodium a day you can wait a week to poo poo. On a date.
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Jul 26, 2015 15:42
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The real answer is to use one of your socks and throw it out the window into the neighbors yard. Also if you do use your hand you can smear a thin layer of poo poo on the underside of the doorknob, the bottom of the counter edges, the underside of the toilet tank, all them goblin spots.
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Jul 26, 2015 15:44
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Thankgod my years of yoga have given me the flexibility necessary to clean myself like a cat.
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Jul 26, 2015 15:45
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Ace of Baes posted:If the date checks on you just tell them theres no tp in their bathroom and you can both have an awkward laugh over it afterwards, jeez it aint hard Only do this if you're a beta who doesn't want to get laid.
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Jul 26, 2015 15:45
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Just pull up your pants and deal with it. If she asks about the smell just tell her your european. I dont think they wipe in europe
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Jul 26, 2015 15:45
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sink? soap? solved.
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Jul 26, 2015 15:47
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Oh no I'm in a room with soap and running water and I need to clean my rear end. What a loving conundrum, OP
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Jul 26, 2015 16:08
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Otto Von Jizzmark posted:Just pull up your pants and deal with it. If she asks about the smell just tell her your european. I dont think they wipe in europe um excuse me but we do use these here you uncultured american swine: 
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Jul 26, 2015 16:14
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Everyone in SE asia, central asia, middle east and Africa are laughing at OP and his conundrum well they would if they had the privileges we do 
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Jul 26, 2015 16:15
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Ace of Baes posted:If the date checks on you just tell them theres no tp in their bathroom and you can both have an awkward laugh over it afterwards, jeez it aint hard
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Jul 26, 2015 16:15
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Dive out the window. This whole thing was a setup. That's not her coming up the stairs, it's a SWAT team and they're stacking up on the bathroom door as we speak.
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Jul 26, 2015 16:22
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nah
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Jul 26, 2015 16:23
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Loden Taylor posted:Dive out the window. This whole thing was a setup. That's not her coming up the stairs, it's a SWAT team and they're stacking up on the bathroom door as we speak. "Breach, bang and clear" is my date-night strategy too.
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Jul 26, 2015 16:26
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Just yell out, "hey, there isn't any TP in here..." and if I sound annoyed and not embarassed then she will be the embarassed one. At this point, she pretty much owes me a blowjob.
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Jul 26, 2015 17:30
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Sever. What are they wiping their rear end with when you aren't around?
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Jul 26, 2015 17:34
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Murder date. No more embarrassment and you can still have sex
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Jul 26, 2015 17:37
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Jul 26, 2015 17:40
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You're already pooping on a date so it's not going well just use the shower curtain and eat her cat
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Jul 26, 2015 18:36
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splash the toilet waster o[m your butt, maybe wipe it with your hand and run the faucet?
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Jul 26, 2015 18:41
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Jul 26, 2015 18:42
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You already hosed up by making GBS threads in her bathroom.
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Jul 26, 2015 18:44
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Ask her "Hey do you have any toilet paper?" Preferably before it gets to panic mode? Jesus Christ.
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Jul 26, 2015 18:48
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poo poo in the bathtub and mash it down with your foot
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Jul 26, 2015 19:16
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crawl out of the bathroom and meow like a cat. cats dont have to wipe.
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Jul 26, 2015 19:29
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Loling at everyone whos done this. Its not hard to plan your shits ppl just poop before you leave the house hahahaha
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Jul 26, 2015 19:31
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Sheep-Goats posted:The real answer is to use one of your socks and throw it out the window into the neighbors yard. Goblin spots is now my favourite phrase
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Jul 26, 2015 19:36
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You can't just drop this and walk away
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Jul 26, 2015 19:45
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 16:50 |
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you hosed up, should have texted her and asked for her to leave a drop pod of tp at the door and walk away and leave me to my crab walk of shame as soon as you realized your situation
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Jul 26, 2015 19:46
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