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Homo Simpson
Oct 21, 2014

by Smythe
Lipstick Apathy
I'm looking to attract the ladies. Normally I just fart really loud and then smile. But that hasn't been working wonders for me lately. Do you think bragging about how I get on an internet forum will bring all the girls to my doorstep? How do I become a chick magnet?

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City of Tampa
May 6, 2007

by zen death robot
bend at the knees, not the back

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum
with a crane becasue they fat

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
Just look at backpage call a number and they show up and do whatever. gently caress this isn't rocket science. Ugh

FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams
Quick whit

Dr Cheeto
Mar 2, 2013
Wretched Harp
Have you tried taking to girls about your favorite animes, OP?

Hexel
Nov 18, 2011




I would always pile on cheap, terrible-smelling colgne and wear a gold chain to show my status as a baller.

autoaim.cfg
Aug 6, 2005
:qq: WHINY SHITHEAD :qq:
*drops mic*
Have you tried taking to girls about your favorite enemas, OP?

CISMALES DID 9-11
Jun 5, 2002

chaotic good STEM major; INTJ
flip em

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
Being this handsome does a lot of the work for me

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
wait for them to beach themselves

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

Rinse, Lather, Repeat.

Diesel Fucker
Aug 14, 2003

I spent my rent money on tentacle porn.
YOU GOTTA FAKE IT TILL U MAKE IT, DAWG

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
buying a girl a hamburger is the oldest trick in the book

SnotGrumble
Jun 4, 2003

All men live in fear of him and his Moxie.
By the neck.

ArtIsResistance
May 19, 2007

QUEEN OF FRANCE, SAVIOR OF LOWTAX
a little move I like to call the Cosby Spiral

not an endorsement
Mar 14, 2008


Personally, I think it's problematic that a sitting Senator has a racial slur for a last name.



with chalk + a belt

Coolie Ghost
Jan 16, 2013

sensible dissent dispenser
According To The Kids I Work With, Spit On Them And Pull There Hair...Haha Just Kidding, That Was Just A Little Summer Day Camp Humor From Little Old Me To Brighten Up Your Day :)

Homo Simpson
Oct 21, 2014

by Smythe
Lipstick Apathy
Okay. So I think I've got it. To bring all the girls to the yard I need to tell them about my favorite animes, wear cheap cologne and a gold chain, buy them a hamburger, and perform the Cosby spiral. Let me know if there's anything I missed.

Goldie The Mack
Nov 25, 2005

Go on and stick yo' seff
Just ask if they want some gently caress.

Tenacious J
Nov 20, 2002

When I identify a potential mate, I take my time observing her patterns before moving in. The most important thing is to not shower too often and wash away all your natural pheromones. The pheromones you emit trigger the sexual arousal system of the female brain and they basically can't help themselves.

So for example if you detect a potential mate at the grocery store, follow her around bit to pique her interest. Wait until she goes for a product on a lower shelf and then move in. Come over and reach up for something above her. The armpit pheromones are the strongest. The best thing that could happen is if she doesn't notice at first and actually stands up into your arm. Their animal brains will take over and all they will think about is mating.

You have to follow them around a little after because likely although their brains are telling them to have sex now, they don't understand this attraction to you and won't act on it right away. I've usually had to follow them all the way to their cars, and they always give me that "bang me" look before getting in the car. So yeah basically I just hang around the grocery store for my pheromone intoxicated females to come back - they can't help it!

Amarcarts
Feb 21, 2007

This looks a lot like suffering.
I usually texas rig a 7 inch power worm on a 4/0 offset hook with a 1/16 oz bullet weight. Either green pumpkin or black works but I don't have a firm sense of how important the color choice is.

Nuclearmonkee
Jun 10, 2009


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oN-kOeRnOOg

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



Back seat Windows up is the way I like to gently caress

Amarcarts
Feb 21, 2007

This looks a lot like suffering.

vyst posted:

Back seat Windows up is the way I like to gently caress

Almost died this way due to heat exhaustion + unhealthy lifestyle

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Amarcarts posted:

I usually texas rig a 7 inch power worm on a 4/0 offset hook with a 1/16 oz bullet weight. Either green pumpkin or black works but I don't have a firm sense of how important the color choice is.

I know this is a fishing joke but it's funnier if you assume it's about sex toys.

tie-dye my titties
Jun 14, 2014

by WE B Boo-ourgeois
rohypnol

Nelson Mandingo
Mar 27, 2005



Wear cowboy boots and a coonskin hat then go to the salon pretending to be a wildman.

Pitdragon
Jan 20, 2004
Just another lurker
just go to the same bar a bunch of times in a row
law of averages man

ROFLburger
Jan 12, 2006
I thought gbs posters were all gay :confused:

Mooktastical
Jan 8, 2008
Chloroform

Cosmik Slop
Oct 9, 2007

What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?


EYY GIRL

U WANT SUM FUK

Rickycat
Nov 26, 2007

by Lowtax
i have a mom yes

Stoic Commie
Aug 29, 2005

by XyloJW
i lift with my back more than i should but yeah

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005
Contrary to popular internet belief, women like it when you meow and purr and make hissy sounds at them, aka "catcalling"

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005
I maintain a constant wide eyed look, stare into there eyes and ask them if they would like to go for a walk in the woods.

Sometimes I rub my crotch as I do this.

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.
just allow them to see you selling dope to some cute junkies, then they'll know daddy gots the medicine and that a. you got money b. you get hot junkie slizz on the reg and c. you'll always take care of them and love them very much

a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)
vodka and cocaine

Uziduke
Jul 2, 2015

A storm over Europe unleashed
Dawn of war a trail of destruction
The power of Rome won't prevail
See the Catholics shiver and shake
Go to plenty of fish errrr whales. Act like you aren't there just to gently caress.

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Jesus Christ
Jun 1, 2000

mods if you can make this my avatar I will gladly pay 10bux to the coffers
decent looks, good banter, sheer luck

then I lose them after a few months

c'est la vie :(

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