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Pulvis Sumus
Jul 27, 2011
Here's a breakdown of mine



+

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FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams
You're going to get your shriveled up old penis hard then shoot it?


Well, at least you have a plan.

Pulvis Sumus
Jul 27, 2011

Mad Monk posted:

You're going to get your shriveled up old penis hard then shoot it?


Well, at least you have a plan.

my employer just axed pension plans so I thought I'd pursue radical alternatives

Nelson Mandingo
Mar 27, 2005



Yeah something like that but instead of leaving a corpse for some kid to find I'm gonna jump off a bridge and have it filmed.

im pooping!
Nov 17, 2006


this isn't a very creative way to bitch about your job op

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Live in a tent on some land, spend 3+ years with council trying to evict me, live off milking farmers cows when he isn't looking.

symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

mooch off the system and get my well-deserved medicare and medicaid. :911:

Pulvis Sumus
Jul 27, 2011

im pooping! posted:

this isn't a very creative way to bitch about your job op

actually my job is p. sweet and offers great benefits. i just have no intentions of vacating this world without a raging stiffy and a gaping hole in the side of my head. you know, the way god intended it.

Car Hater
May 7, 2007

wolf. bike.
Wolf. Bike.
Wolf! Bike!
WolfBike!
WolfBike!
ARROOOOOO!
Steal some bougie New England gently caress's sailboat with some friends and sail off to be pirates in the sunny Caribbean.

Joust
Dec 7, 2007

No Ledges.
I imagine the state will allow me to stay in a tiny single-room apartment in exchange for a couple of organs. Then I'll kill myself.

ghlbtsk
Apr 19, 2005

these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS
walk into the ocean

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

die young from heart disease / diabetes complications

Vorik
Mar 27, 2014

it seems we got a real live edgelord over here

ChairmanMeow
Mar 1, 2008

Fire up the grill everyone eats tonight!
Lipstick Apathy

ghlbtsk posted:

walk into the ocean

My mom tried this, apparently it's harder than you think. It kinda spits you back.

Unless you mean frolic, that's super easy and a great way to spend retirement.

Joust
Dec 7, 2007

No Ledges.
At my retirement party I make a big speech and then press a button. I explode and my blood and bits of my body cover everyone in attendance. One of them will probably ingest a part of me and then I possess them and start over. Easy.

RadioactiveKid
Aug 12, 2005

Gato Rebelde
gently caress retirement, I'm going to work till I die

ChairmanMeow
Mar 1, 2008

Fire up the grill everyone eats tonight!
Lipstick Apathy

RadioactiveKid posted:

gently caress retirement, I'm going o work till I die

we all will, we just haven't accepted it

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3
Nov 15, 2003
im on a BXR Plan

ElGroucho
Nov 1, 2005

We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane
Fun Shoe
Do some sort of horrible thing in Norway

Get sent to jail for the next 20 years to "rehabilitate"

Play Nintendo and read books til dead

ManDingo
Jun 1, 2001
You know just save 30% of my income until I get labeled privileged then go for the viagra and gun.

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins
http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Arkansas

Flynn Taggart
Jun 14, 2006

I'm gonna do a mass shooting

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
im going to live in a garbage can

ANAmal.net
Mar 2, 2002


100% digital native web developer

same

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005
I will conquer the mongols

Dead Boy
Jul 30, 2015

by Cowcaster
Don't really have one. I will just live with my parents until they die. Inherit their money, possessions and than live a frugal life until death. Also I will not donate any money to charity. I will burn it when I am near death.

City of Tampa
May 6, 2007

by zen death robot
i'm going to spend my first social security check on a one-way ticket to Norway, then rob a bank and turn myself in to the police.

living in a Norwegian prison is a better life than being a retired working class American.

CISMALES DID 9-11
Jun 5, 2002

chaotic good STEM major; INTJ
OP plannin on being cool while lookin cool

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
gonna become a farmer

ghlbtsk
Apr 19, 2005

these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS

ghlbtsk posted:

walk into the ocean

ChairmanMeow posted:

My mom tried this, apparently it's harder than you think. It kinda spits you back.

Unless you mean frolic, that's super easy and a great way to spend retirement.

wearing 500lb. shoes

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
I have worked for a company that makes billions of dollars for almost 17 years and im pretty sure my retirement will involve sleeping under a bridge and collecting cans because this company is cheap as gently caress and our benefits suck truckloads of horsedick. yeah i know "get another job"

Hatebag
Jun 17, 2008


Take out a bunch of credit cards, buy tangible goods to last til death, and flee to the hinterlands.

City of Tampa
May 6, 2007

by zen death robot
I thought that I had a pretty fat 401k, but then someone pointed out that even $100k in a 401k account is only going to be like $400 a month in income when you retire.

so basically unless you have like a million dollars saved in a 401k, you're probably going to be eating catfood or prostituting yourself in your old age.

and that's assuming that your 401k money isn't stolen by a bank or lost in another stock market collapse (it will be).

ROFLburger
Jan 12, 2006
I plan to spend my "golden years" sailing. Sailing owns and I'm gonna do that when I retire. Sail all over the loving place.

Hopefully I'll have the techbology to be able to poo poo post from the middle of the pacific.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Obviously we'll be living in a post scarcity paradise by that point so who needs a plan?

GAYS FOR DAYS
Dec 22, 2005

by exmarx

City of Tampa posted:

I thought that I had a pretty fat 401k, but then someone pointed out that even $100k in a 401k account is only going to be like $400 a month in income when you retire.

so basically unless you have like a million dollars saved in a 401k, you're probably going to be eating catfood or prostituting yourself in your old age.

and that's assuming that your 401k money isn't stolen by a bank or lost in another stock market collapse (it will be).

Well, yeah, if you retire with only 100k you're kinda hosed. My mom showed me her 403b and it had like 24,000 bucks in it, and she seemed happy that she had "that extra money"

Honestly, if you start saving a little bit when you're young and continue to contribute, a million bucks shouldn't be that hard to accomplish.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

GAYS FOR DAYS posted:

Honestly, if you start saving a little bit when you're young and continue to contribute, a million bucks shouldn't be that hard to accomplish.

lol

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007
Grimey Drawer

City of Tampa posted:

I thought that I had a pretty fat 401k, but then someone pointed out that even $100k in a 401k account is only going to be like $400 a month in income when you retire.

so basically unless you have like a million dollars saved in a 401k, you're probably going to be eating catfood or prostituting yourself in your old age.

and that's assuming that your 401k money isn't stolen by a bank or lost in another stock market collapse (it will be).

If you have a properly diversified portfolio your investments get less risky as time goes on, so most of it should be in bonds by the time you retire, which are much less affected by market swings.

Edit: I'm hosed though I only have like 3k in investments and still got 20k in student loan debt and I'm almost 30.

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Lucy Heartfilia
May 31, 2012


66% MSCI World and 33% MSCI Emerging Markets

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