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Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
most of us are going to die hooked up to a bunch of robots with a tube in our dick and our harpy of a sister by our side, constantly glancing at her watch. but as they say, you only live once... and we can make the assumption that we only die once unless we are the second coming of jesus. but lets say you had a choice, and instead of baking to death trapped in a pepperidge farm industrial sized oven, you could choose how the last minutes of your existence on this big gay world played out. post with confidence my brave goons, and remember not to sign your posts like a retard idiot

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IronClaymore
Jun 30, 2010

by Athanatos
Stupid question, I'd die of an overdose of nembutal in my favourite park at sunset. I doubt that anyone, in true honesty, would say anything else. Except for a death in battle fighting some genuinely evil guys and you die instantaneously after some heroic last stand, that'd be ok, but realistically I'd go with the park at sunset and the nembutal.

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
Here lies nooner

He drowned in pussy

CISMALES DID 9-11
Jun 5, 2002

chaotic good STEM major; INTJ
takin a dope poop

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
I want to die when an asteroid crashes into the planet. Just a wave of lava washing over my hideous robot spider body, melting me to slag as I desperately overclock and overdrug my shriveled brain to replay as many videogames as possible in the seconds I have left.

Gasbraai
Oct 25, 2010

Lictor my Dictor

CISMALES DID 9-11 posted:

takin a dope poop

The Elvis way to go.

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

I want to die when an asteroid crashes into the planet. Just a wave of lava washing over my hideous robot spider body, melting me to slag as I desperately overclock and overdrug my shriveled brain to replay as many videogames as possible in the seconds I have left.

good answer

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

I want to die when an asteroid crashes into the planet. Just a wave of lava washing over my hideous robot spider body, melting me to slag as I desperately overclock and overdrug my shriveled brain to replay as many videogames as possible in the seconds I have left.

goatse.cx haver
Oct 17, 2010

precious metals
speedballin and getting my dick sucked

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
as for me id die slowly bleeding out of hideous knife wounds inflicted by a frenzied nancy

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

ironically suicide bombing isis

IronClaymore
Jun 30, 2010

by Athanatos

Nooner posted:

Here lies nooner

He drowned in pussy

I forgot drowning in pussy. And death by snu-snu. Actually they both kinda suck, drowning in pussy you literally suffocate within the sweaty folds, death by snu-snu they stick a pencil in your urethra to keep you up. Ever seen how narrow your urethra is, and how comparatively wide a pencil is? OD on heroin (other opiates are available) is still a better way out.

Bowlcutbarricade
Dec 27, 2014

I want to be suffocated to death by a dozen naked Japanese women trying to bang me.

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
alternitively id like to die dancing like i was 22

Cake Smashing Boob
Nov 5, 2008

I support black genocide
In my sleep, without pain

Blazing Zero
Sep 7, 2012

*sigh* sure. it's a weed joke
im not going to die because ill be cryogenically stored until the singularity, op

CoolCat
Jun 29, 2015

I don't want to die.

goatse.cx haver
Oct 17, 2010

precious metals

IronClaymore posted:

I forgot drowning in pussy. And death by snu-snu. Actually they both kinda suck, drowning in pussy you literally suffocate within the sweaty folds, death by snu-snu they stick a pencil in your urethra to keep you up. Ever seen how narrow your urethra is, and how comparatively wide a pencil is? OD on heroin (other opiates are available) is still a better way out.

you forgot the dick sucking and cocaine

God Damn Dam God
Dec 24, 2004

I push buttons. I turn dials. I read numbers. Sometimes I make up little stories in my head about what the numbers mean.
Grimey Drawer
I would attach a 50' length of piano wire around my neck and then to the side of a building. Then I'd tie a 60' length of rope around my feet. Once that was done I'd superglue my hands to my head. Once that was all done I'd jump off the building, decapitate myself and hang there holding my own head.

CoolCat
Jun 29, 2015

Ugh, crude.

!Klams
Dec 25, 2005

Squid Squad

Randy Mythbuster posted:

I would attach a 50' length of piano wire around my neck and then to the side of a building. Then I'd tie a 60' length of rope around my feet. Once that was done I'd superglue my hands to my head. Once that was all done I'd jump off the building, decapitate myself and hang there holding my own head.

I'd do that, but with the penis instead of the head.

Someone else's penis.

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

im going to kill myself when game of thrones ends

IronClaymore
Jun 30, 2010

by Athanatos

goatse.cx haver posted:

you forgot the dick sucking and cocaine

Yeah, dick sucking with cocaine would be good too. But you can't do that sort of thing intentionally, people will usually revive you. Accidentally sure, it's the best death. "Died of concurrent asphyxiation while committing fellatio with cardiac arrest resulting from excessive cocaine consumption"...yep anyone could be proud dying with that.

The Aardvark
Aug 19, 2013


Randy Mythbuster posted:

I would attach a 50' length of piano wire around my neck and then to the side of a building. Then I'd tie a 60' length of rope around my feet. Once that was done I'd superglue my hands to my head. Once that was all done I'd jump off the building, decapitate myself and hang there holding my own head.

Hatebag
Jun 17, 2008


Go into the woods and blow my head off at the base of a cool tree while covered in mushroom spores. Then I get decomposed and become tree.

RadioactiveKid
Aug 12, 2005

Gato Rebelde
I dont plan on ever dying, I aint a bitch

gottabefrank
Sep 19, 2014

Skull demolished by a xenomorph attack-tongue

IronClaymore
Jun 30, 2010

by Athanatos

RadioactiveKid posted:

I dont plan on ever dying, I aint a bitch

I like you. I imagine you in an Intensive Care Unit. You have a nurse assigned to you full time to wipe the poo poo from what remains of your arsehole. It ain't a nice job, but she gets enough to live on. There's a doc who bombards you with the latest antibacterials, the best antibiotics, because your infinitely rupturing anus is erupting with poo poo, clostoridium infected poo poo, and there are a million open wounds on what red open sore of your taint remains for bacteria to tunnel right inside. The anesthetist has you pumped so full of morphine you need a tube to breathe, as you well since passed the point at which your brain can communicated the command to you lungs to breathe.

Every cell in your body is under attack by bacteria and everyone else. And now it simply isn't infection bacteria, it's the regular poo poo. When your body dies, that's a lot of energy and fixed nitrogen and nutrients in there for the taking. There's bacteria guys who do that. Middlemen who trade all that gooey stuff to the other bacteria. They've already moved in. They own you now, they've repossessed your body and are simply taking it apart cell by cell. You're done, they know it, the doctors know it, you know it, the nurses know it merely by the smell, you smell of death. Besides, you as yourself don't even exist anymore, just a slowing pattern of impulses between neurons that are ever more slowly deprived of oxygen.

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

prbably fly a plane into a symbol of western decadence

basement jihadist
Oct 3, 2002

TEAYCHES posted:

im going to kill myself when game of thrones ends

toxx this mods

e: sorry mod

RadioactiveKid
Aug 12, 2005

Gato Rebelde

IronClaymore posted:

I like you. I imagine you in an Intensive Care Unit. You have a nurse assigned to you full time to wipe the poo poo from what remains of your arsehole. It ain't a nice job, but she gets enough to live on. There's a doc who bombards you with the latest antibacterials, the best antibiotics, because your infinitely rupturing anus is erupting with poo poo, clostoridium infected poo poo, and there are a million open wounds on what red open sore of your taint remains for bacteria to tunnel right inside. The anesthetist has you pumped so full of morphine you need a tube to breathe, as you well since passed the point at which your brain can communicated the command to you lungs to breathe.


a few years ago I was in a car accident, broke my neck and was hospitalized pretty much like you described. I had a breathing tube and a diaper, plus a gnarly thing around my neck nd yorso called a halo vest.I woke up like a week after the accident totaly confused. I had no idea what happened till someone told me

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
Alcohol related incident

Amorphous Blob
Jun 26, 2009

by Lowtax

(and can't post for 2 years!)

death by chocolate

basement jihadist
Oct 3, 2002

probably like fall asleep driving rip

i don't know but i just want everybody else and myself to die

Pulvis Sumus
Jul 27, 2011
spontaneous combustion at my own birthday party surrounded by family and friends.

basement jihadist
Oct 3, 2002

i don't know i'd probably be really scared and be unable to scream when i most wanted to while people told me it was okay to die

IronClaymore
Jun 30, 2010

by Athanatos

Amorphous Blob posted:

death by chocolate

Chocolate is more viscous than water. You would have had a hell of a time aspirating that into your lungs instead of water. Hurt a lot more.

Amorphous Blob
Jun 26, 2009

by Lowtax

(and can't post for 2 years!)

tastes better tho

Hatebag
Jun 17, 2008


IronClaymore posted:

Chocolate is more viscous than water. You would have had a hell of a time aspirating that into your lungs instead of water. Hurt a lot more.

Probably want to inject it.

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goatse.cx haver
Oct 17, 2010

precious metals
inject krokodil straight into my brain, also my eyes

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