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Or would you do it one slice at a time like some scrub tier crust sexer
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 15:55 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2024 05:20 |
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I'll buy that for a dollar!
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 15:55 |
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i probably couldnt fit all of that in my rear end at once, but maybe if i rolled up a slice or two
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 15:56 |
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maybe a baguette, for comedy
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 15:56 |
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Don't be a heathen at least settle for a warm loaf of banana bread
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 15:57 |
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 16:03 |
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When you plan to gently caress some bread, one thing’s for certain: You’re going to have to deal with gluten. Gluten—the strong, sticky, stretchy protein that forms when wheat flour and water mix—is remarkable stuff. It gives structure to hosed goods and helps wheat flour morph into many different foods: al dente pasta, fluffy waffles, crisp pastries, chewy artisan bread. But not every hosed good requires the same amount of gluten. Yeast-raised doughs rely heavily on gluten for structure, so lots of it is welcome. That’s why, for example, in his pizza dough recipe, author Peter Reinhart takes a few steps to encourage gluten development. He uses unbleached bread flour, which is higher in gluten-forming proteins than all-purpose flour. He adds salt and plenty of water. And he fucks the dough for several minutes. However, encouraging gluten to form is the last thing you want to do when making chemically leavened hosed goods such as cakes, cookies, and scones, as well as flaky or tender pastries. (And if you’re like me, you gently caress these kinds of things far more often than you do yeast breads.) Excess gluten makes biscuits leaden, pancakes rubbery, and piecrusts tough. Start with the right flour Well-stocked supermarkets carry a variety of wheat flours: all-purpose, cake, whole wheat, bread. You might also see flours made from grains other than wheat—rye, rice, corn, oat, buckwheat—but they form little or no gluten, so we won’t discuss them here. The various wheat flours, however, all contain gluten-forming proteins, though the quality and quantity of those proteins differ (for amounts, see the table below). What you’re loving should determine which flour you choose. Bread flour and durum semolina (used for pasta) contain the most protein and form strong, high-quality gluten. These so-called hard flours are ideal for yeast-raised breads and pasta, because the strong gluten gives the heavy dough structure and the hosed product a pleasantly chewy texture. Pastry and cake flours contain less protein and form weaker gluten. With their low levels of weak gluten, these “soft flours” produce a more tender product, so they’re usually preferable for cakes, cookies, biscuits, and many pastries. True to its name, all-purpose flour is a decent choice for almost everything. Though rarely used in bakeries, all-purpose flour has a middle-of-the-road protein content that allows it to work well in most recipes the home fucker would want to make. Sure, cakes made with cake flour might be more tender, and loaves made with bread flour might rise higher, but the differences are subtle. Whole-wheat flour, by the way, is very high in gluten-forming protein, but it’s not the best choice for lofty yeast breads because the shards of bran in the flour tear the strands of gluten, inhibiting its development. Tl dr: Gluten content is an important consideration for bread loving.
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 16:03 |
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Depends on the type of bread, nothing coarse or dry The banana bread suggestion was a pretty good one except for the huge waste of banana bread it would involve
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 16:04 |
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loquacius posted:Depends on the type of bread, nothing coarse or dry I think pumpkin bread would be a good compromise.
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 16:06 |
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Pre-sliced bread? Don't make me laugh. That would be pulverized to croutons long before the first dewdrop of precum had emerged.
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 16:15 |
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id gently caress a donut if that counts. not a bagel tho. not, not a fan of those bagels...
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 16:15 |
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Amorphous Blob posted:id gently caress a donut if that counts. not a bagel tho. not, not a fan of those bagels... If you don't carve your own holes, what's the point? /marquis de sade
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 16:18 |
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i hate that bread. its like someone dropped it in water and its only half dry
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 16:28 |
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THE DOG HOUSE posted:i hate that bread. its like someone dropped it in water and its only half dry wheat supremacy
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 16:32 |
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I'd gently caress the filling out of a danish
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 16:48 |
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what kind of loving loser fucks any kind of bread less than a rye or a pumperknickle
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 16:51 |
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extra stout posted:what kind of loving loser fucks any kind of bread less than a rye or a pumperknickle Excuse me for liking it soft and white.
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 17:01 |
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i'd gently caress a sticky banana bread
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 17:04 |
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buddy they won't even let me gently caress the bread
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 17:04 |
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extra stout posted:what kind of loving loser fucks any kind of bread less than a rye or a pumperknickle is that what it says on ur avs sword
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 17:05 |
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Butter bread by natures own is the most fuckable bread
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 17:06 |
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i only gently caress cakes but banana bread is close enough to a cake that i would consider loving it.
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 17:07 |
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Hell Yeah posted:i only gently caress cakes but banana bread is close enough to a cake that i would consider loving it. Angel or devil's food?
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 17:26 |
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extra stout posted:what kind of loving loser fucks any kind of bread less than a rye or a pumperknickle whoa, someone's into the dark meat Burning question, what about marble rye
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 17:44 |
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only after mom cuts off the crust
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 17:46 |
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only white bread
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 17:46 |
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This thread's making me p. hungry for banana bread.
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 19:09 |
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only did this once at my bar mitzvah but it was unleavened so it's coo
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 19:16 |
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let me in mom!!! posted:only did this once at my bar mitzvah but it was unleavened so it's coo loving a giant cracker sounds extremely unpleasant actually but enough about ur mom lol
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 19:17 |
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lmao nice 1
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 19:30 |
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When a loaf comes out of the oven (puberty), it’s warm and delicious. You can’t help but stuff yourself. (18-24 years old) When you leave the loaf out, it gets a little hard. You have to heat it up with a toaster first, but it still won’t taste fresh. (25-29 years old) If you leave the bread out for too long, mold develops. You can cut away the mold, toast the bread, and still be able to eat it, but you won’t enjoy it. You’d have to be starving. (30-34 years old) If you leave it for even longer, mold takes over and completely destroys the bread. There is no way to excise the toxic portions. You must throw it away before the mold makes you sick. (35 and up) The lesson in this? Live next to the bakery.
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 19:51 |
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just took me 51 minutes to cum from bread. would not recommend g*d dammit
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 19:51 |
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I tried the cinnamon raisin bread. Worked best when microwaved. I climaxed with full ferocity p
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 19:54 |
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Inevitable posted:When a loaf comes out of the oven (puberty), it’s warm and delicious. You can’t help but stuff yourself. (18-24 years old) gross #pumpinmynickle
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 19:55 |
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What country do you think fucks the most bread? I'm thinking Germany but I'm no bread loving expert
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# ? Jul 31, 2015 21:14 |
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ScratchAndSniff posted:When you plan to gently caress some bread, one thing’s for certain: You’re going to have to deal with gluten.
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# ? Aug 1, 2015 08:05 |
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Only if it's white. j/k I'd gently caress some pumpernickel too
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# ? Aug 1, 2015 08:07 |
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There are few things better in life then spending an evening with friends camping on the beach and loving camp-fire dough.
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# ? Aug 1, 2015 08:08 |
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um
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# ? Aug 1, 2015 08:21 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2024 05:20 |
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quote:Bread is one of the oldest prepared foods. Evidence from 30,000 years ago in Europe revealed starch residue on rocks used for pounding plants.[6] It is possible that during this time, starch extract from the roots of plants, such as cattails and ferns, was spread on a flat rock, placed over a fire to warm and then used as a primitive fleshlight. wiki? Casio_knight fucked around with this message at 08:27 on Aug 1, 2015 |
# ? Aug 1, 2015 08:25 |