ITT we consider Chipotle a healthy meal

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Hometown Slime Queen: Oct 26, 2004; the GOAT

Boohoohoo I'm a goon and my rear end explodes when I eat bland food like Chipotle

Oh noooo sorry guys we can't eat at Chipotle, it gives me baaaaaad diahhreeaa

Noooo you guys we gotta go eat somewhere else, please consider my IBS

# ? Aug 1, 2015 19:05

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# ? Apr 18, 2024 08:56

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

chipotle is fine

as suburban fast food goes it is loving stellar

# ? Aug 1, 2015 19:13

prostidude: Jul 23, 2015

I get a double wrapped, double brown rice, double chicken, double guac, double lettuce, double cheese, double sour cream, and double mild salsa burrito twice a week. Totally worth every bite. Chipotle is the greatest invention ever

# ? Aug 1, 2015 19:51

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

Bababooie

# ? Aug 1, 2015 19:52

Gorman Thomas: Jul 24, 2007

Chipotle is old hat. It's all about ShopHouse now.

# ? Aug 1, 2015 20:02

Acres of Quakers: May 6, 2006

prostidude posted:

I get a double wrapped, double brown rice, double chicken, double guac, double lettuce, double cheese, double sour cream, and double mild salsa burrito twice a week. Totally worth every bite. Chipotle is the greatest invention ever

Double chins, double rolls, double bypass.

# ? Aug 1, 2015 20:04

Infidel Castro: Jun 8, 2010; Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice

OMGVBFLOL posted:

chipotle is fine

as suburban fast food goes it is loving stellar

No kidding, especially when compared to Qdoba.

Qdoba loving sucks.

# ? Aug 1, 2015 20:11

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Infidel Castro posted:

No kidding, especially when compared to Qdoba.

Qdoba loving sucks.

I lolled how during the last government shutdown congress fight the GOP ordered Qdoba during their little huddle meetings.

# ? Aug 1, 2015 20:14

Velvet Elvis: Jul 1, 2007

notZaar posted:

Here's a lifehack for you: ax the chipotle slave to chop your 'ritto in twain so you can eat half for lunch and half for dinner. It's actually a pretty decent meal as far as carbs/prots/fats ratios are (just skip the cheese and get whole wheat tortilla).

op is a tiny bird

# ? Aug 1, 2015 20:51

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

I like chipotle when I want to eat delicious crunchy salad with no gay poo poo like sour cream and guac and poo poo. burrito bowl, brown rice, black beans, double chicken.

# ? Aug 1, 2015 21:22

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

slay all those who avoid guac in their burrito

# ? Aug 1, 2015 21:24

The Taint Reaper: Sep 4, 2012; by Shine

etalian posted:

slay all those who avoid guac in their burrito

I'm not paying extra....

# ? Aug 1, 2015 21:29

Iseeyouseemeseeyou: Jan 3, 2011

yeah ill take a burrito lemme get white rice, chicken, black beans, shredded cheese, sour cream, thanks later

# ? Aug 1, 2015 21:31

cams: Mar 28, 2003

i'd rather have el pollo loco than chipotle ten times out of ten

# ? Aug 1, 2015 21:31

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

cams posted:

i'd rather have el polo loco than chipotle ten times out of ten

# ? Aug 1, 2015 21:32

cams: Mar 28, 2003

LeoMarr posted:

don't let people know that i mispelled pollo plz i live in southern california they'll kill me

# ? Aug 1, 2015 21:33

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

cams posted:

don't let people know that i mispelled pollo plz i live in southern california they'll kill me

Dont worry just chop it up to being white and uncultured

# ? Aug 1, 2015 21:47

stump collector: May 28, 2007

CISMALES DID 9-11 posted:

this, just this

# ? Aug 1, 2015 21:53

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

*gets off 30 minute eliptical workout*

chugs protein shake

gets burrito quesadilla wrapped with double guac double cheese

# ? Aug 1, 2015 22:03

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

LeoMarr posted:

*gets off 30 minute eliptical workout*

chugs protein shake

gets burrito quesadilla wrapped with double guac double cheese

Sounds good but replace elliptical with good 1 hour 30 min weight lifting session preferable back day after deadliftsfeels good

# ? Aug 1, 2015 22:04

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

JebanyPedal posted:

Sounds good but replace elliptical with good 1 hour 30 min weight lifting session preferable back day after deadliftsfeels good

All I need is a 30 minute elip workout I burned 700 calories see the machine said so!

# ? Aug 1, 2015 22:05

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

If I eat horrible food but with lots of meat after my deadlifts I can feel it going straight into my glutes and back muscles it feels amazing

# ? Aug 1, 2015 22:06

ItBurns: Jul 24, 2007

Squat 3x a month, spend the rest of the time getting fat and talking about protein.

# ? Aug 1, 2015 22:06

naem: May 29, 2011

I eat food

# ? Aug 1, 2015 22:16

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

Gets double everything burrito

wheat tortilla

# ? Aug 1, 2015 22:17

yoyodyne: May 7, 2007

when you get the quesarito, do they melt the cheese or is it just cold shredded cheese? I'm asking for a friend.

# ? Aug 1, 2015 22:37

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

yoyodyne posted:

when you get the quesarito, do they melt the cheese or is it just cold shredded cheese? I'm asking for a friend.

nice alibi

# ? Aug 1, 2015 22:38

yoyodyne: May 7, 2007

Seriously though, I may get one, but not with any sour cream, cheese inside or rice(not a fan of rice in a burrito). I usually go to Freebirds for stuff like this anyway. I only really ever go to Chipotle out of convenience.

# ? Aug 1, 2015 23:03

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

yoyodyne posted:

when you get the quesarito, do they melt the cheese or is it just cold shredded cheese? I'm asking for a friend.

unlike doob they melt the cheese

# ? Aug 1, 2015 23:06

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

yoyodyne posted:

Seriously though, I may get one, but not with any sour cream, cheese inside or rice(not a fan of rice in a burrito). I usually go to Freebirds for stuff like this anyway. I only really ever go to Chipotle out of convenience.

freebirds is the loving poo poo. theres never any reason when freebirds is near. i hope they keep expanding and not losing quality

# ? Aug 1, 2015 23:16

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Xaris posted:

freebirds is the loving poo poo. theres never any reason when freebirds is near. i hope they keep expanding and not losing quality

They also have a 1700 calorie super monster burrito

# ? Aug 1, 2015 23:33

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

etalian posted:

They also have a 1700 calorie super monster burrito

to be fair, that is like 3 meals a pop right there

# ? Aug 1, 2015 23:45

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

I bought a 6 lb burrito for 10 dollars once and ate it for 2 days straight. it was good but my poops were a little odd. Like larger than normal and metallic smelling

# ? Aug 2, 2015 00:04

Iseeyouseemeseeyou: Jan 3, 2011

yoyodyne posted:

when you get the quesarito, do they melt the cheese or is it just cold shredded cheese? I'm asking for a friend.

chipotle makes lovely quesaritos; way too much tortilla

# ? Aug 2, 2015 00:36

interwhat: Jul 23, 2005; it's kickin in dude

lovely, bland, over Americanized, tough steak, dry chicken. Garbage. gently caress you Chipotle. Also their guacamole will stay green for at least 5 days and it doesn't take a retard with half a brain to know that ain't fuckin right

# ? Aug 2, 2015 00:43

gottabefrank: Sep 19, 2014

LeoMarr posted:

I bought a 6 lb burrito for 10 dollars once and ate it for 2 days straight. it was good but my poops were a little odd. Like larger than normal and metallic smelling

You're supposed to take the foil off before you eat it

# ? Aug 2, 2015 01:57

FedEx Mercury: Jan 7, 2004; Me bad posting? That's unpossible!; Lipstick Apathy

interwhat posted:

lovely, bland, over Americanized, tough steak, dry chicken. Garbage. gently caress you Chipotle. Also their guacamole will stay green for at least 5 days and it doesn't take a retard with half a brain to know that ain't fuckin right

Actually, it's good.

# ? Aug 2, 2015 18:47

The Saurus: Dec 3, 2006; by Smythe

I'm too poor to eat at chipotle. I literally cannot afford a meal there without not being able to pay rent or bills at the end of the month. Your move, overprivileged goons.

I sometimes make rice and black bean burritos at home because those things are dirt loving cheap.

# ? Aug 2, 2015 19:11