Hahahaha, Dominos is trying to be an authentic, back to the basics chain

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Hahahaha, Dominos is trying to be an authentic, back to the basics chain

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I said come in!: Jun 22, 2004

Wanamingo posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTkPwJL6op8

LMFAO nobody goes there because they think they're getting good food. What the hell are they thinking, "we used to have some gimmicks too"

This is what they need to do with their advertising. It's called knowing your consumer, hth Dominos.

What kind of deal with the devil needed to be made in order to create this?

# ? Aug 1, 2015 07:51

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 20:29

El Duderino: Mar 28, 2003; If you're not into that whole brevity thing..

Ahhh Dominos, authentic I-talian gourmet nosh. Actually just ordered a pie yesterday. Was hung over as balls and at 10 in the morning they were the only pizza place open already. Mmm just the way mama used to make it back in the ol' country. And what a deal too!

# ? Aug 1, 2015 07:53

Gazpacho: Jun 18, 2004; by Fluffdaddy; Slippery Tilde

it took a whole hour for your thread to get to page 2 OP, I want a refund

# ? Aug 1, 2015 07:53

Wanamingo: Feb 22, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

Wait.

I thought Dominos was the place that was trying to get away from being Domino's Pizza. Now they're just Dominos, they're not just a pizza place, they have other stuff. They were flat out destroying old Domino's Pizza signs because that's outdated, that's not them anymore.

Now they're the saviors of Pizza here to save us from the hot-dog crust?

No no no, they're totally authentic

Didn't you see that they're teaching those other chains how to make real pizza again?

# ? Aug 1, 2015 08:00

Node: May 20, 2001; KICKED IN THE COOTER; Taco Defender

i'd rather eat Long John Silver's Deep Fried Abomination from the Deep that i saw on the Onion, than that abomination in the OP

# ? Aug 1, 2015 08:31

Sic Semper Goon: Mar 1, 2015; Eu tu?; Switchblade Switcharoo

I said come in! posted:

What kind of deal with the devil needed to be made in order to create this?

Being Australian. :australia:

# ? Aug 1, 2015 08:44

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

authentically what

# ? Aug 1, 2015 09:09

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

is it, like, a fake pizza

# ? Aug 1, 2015 09:10

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

like you irder a pizza and tey just bring you a cardboard diorama of a pizza

# ? Aug 1, 2015 09:10

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

or a photograph of a pizza

# ? Aug 1, 2015 09:11

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

im trying to picture what sort of object would be inauthentically pizza

# ? Aug 1, 2015 09:12

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

maybe its just a pizza box full of sand, so it looks and weighs like a pizza but you open it and its just sand and you're like "blast, this is not authentic"

# ? Aug 1, 2015 09:13

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

I'll stuff ur crust u gat drat ho

# ? Aug 1, 2015 09:14

Gazpacho: Jun 18, 2004; by Fluffdaddy; Slippery Tilde

OMGVBFLOL posted:

im trying to picture what sort of object would be inauthentically pizza

inquire at taco bell

# ? Aug 1, 2015 10:09

Wanamingo: Feb 22, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

OMGVBFLOL posted:

im trying to picture what sort of object would be inauthentically pizza

# ? Aug 1, 2015 10:27

Ork of Fiction: Jul 22, 2013

They need to bring back The Noid now that the crazy dude who kept trying to kill president domino is dead.

The loving Noid moved pie.

# ? Aug 1, 2015 10:39

Wanamingo: Feb 22, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Ork of Fiction posted:

They need to bring back The Noid now that the crazy dude who kept trying to kill president domino is dead.

The loving Noid moved pie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n48dlHOq1Hc

Nobody better lay a finger on my Dominos pizza

# ? Aug 1, 2015 10:46

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

The only good overhaul that a major pizza chain has done recently is Pizza Hut, imo.

Spinach, cherry peppers, and meatballs are all good toppings. Better than babby manchild gimmick pizzas with bacon, cheeze whiz, and hot dogs injected into your butthole or whatever.

# ? Aug 1, 2015 10:49

circ dick soleil: Sep 27, 2012; by zen death robot

Wanamingo posted:

This just leaves so many unanswered questions.

# ? Aug 1, 2015 10:53

circ dick soleil: Sep 27, 2012; by zen death robot

Four'n Twenty is a great name for a pizza place though.

# ? Aug 1, 2015 10:53

a dog from hell: Oct 18, 2009; by zen death robot

Pizza is too expensive for what you get.

# ? Aug 1, 2015 10:54

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

Wanamingo posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTkPwJL6op8

LMFAO nobody goes there because they think they're getting good food. What the hell are they thinking, "we used to have some gimmicks too"

This is what they need to do with their advertising. It's called knowing your consumer, hth Dominos.

Meat Fortress

# ? Aug 1, 2015 11:02

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

# ? Aug 1, 2015 11:03

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

As a hipseter, i only eat AUTHENTIC pizza: hand tossed dough, fresh tomato sauce, artisanal mozzarella, and fresh basil leaves cooked in a wood fire oven.

# ? Aug 1, 2015 11:04

Wanamingo: Feb 22, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

circ dick soleil posted:

This just leaves so many unanswered questions.

It's okay, here's what they mean by tomato sauce squeezie.

# ? Aug 1, 2015 11:05

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

MEAT on pizza? Uh, that isn't AUTHENTIC

# ? Aug 1, 2015 11:05

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

isn't authentic pizza just inauthentic foccacia

# ? Aug 1, 2015 11:07

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

i wish i could poo poo in ops mouth

# ? Aug 1, 2015 11:09

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

any bread with cheese and tomato put in an oven is a pizza deal with it

Im european and europeans invented the pizza so I know what im talking about

# ? Aug 1, 2015 11:11

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

Zzulu posted:

any bread with cheese and tomato put in an oven is a pizza deal with it

Im european and europeans invented the pizza so I know what im talking about

there's parts of the US where they don't even do the tomato, it's just a big fat wheel of cheesebread

missouri i think

if you ask where the sauce is they will get confused and frustrated

# ? Aug 1, 2015 11:13

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

Pretty sure it was the Native Americans/ First Nations that invented pizza there, Zzulu

# ? Aug 1, 2015 11:14

Bob James: Nov 15, 2005; by Lowtax; Ultra Carp

Wanamingo posted:

It's okay, here's what they mean by tomato sauce squeezie.

Does this count as a vegetable?

# ? Aug 1, 2015 11:15

root of all eval: Dec 28, 2002

# ? Aug 1, 2015 11:26

fuck the ROW: Aug 29, 2008; by zen death robot

How many dog su think they got in that crust? Asking for a friend.

# ? Aug 1, 2015 11:35

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Professor Shark posted:

As a hipseter, i only eat AUTHENTIC pizza: hand tossed dough, fresh tomato sauce, artisanal mozzarella, and fresh basil leaves cooked in a wood fire oven.

margherita pizza is pretty good, tbh

# ? Aug 1, 2015 11:46

corpuscollossus: Apr 19, 2007

You can tell that 420 pizza place is powered by innovation

# ? Aug 1, 2015 12:22

jarjarbinksfan621: Mar 4, 2012

Dominos is pretty solid. The Dominos where I used to live had $5 large pizzas from 1-5pm. It rocked, much better than Little Caesars for $5 (not that Little Caesars is bad or anything).

# ? Aug 1, 2015 13:22