Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?
Someone told me the other day that someone was a nice guy and I feel like the term has been irreversibly tainted by ugly weirdos which he was not. What do you call guys that are actually nice but also fuckable?

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Bowlcutbarricade
Dec 27, 2014

Me

ROFLburger
Jan 12, 2006
im gay

nullEntityRNG
Jun 23, 2010

Mostly pseudo-random.
no

logical phalluses
Mar 18, 2009

The living look upon the corpse with their eyesight,
But without eyesight lingers a different living and looks
curiously on the corpse.
gay

Nitrox
Jul 5, 2002

Slur, your fighting style is extremely problematic!

I'm sorry nobody wants to have sex with you, Three Olives

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?

Urban Dictionary posted:

TOP DEFINITION

nice guy

A young male who will give up countless hours of his time listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends because they need someone to talk to about their apathetic, Baywatch jock of a boyfriend because no one else will listen or genuinely care. Although always surrounded by beautiful girls the nice guy can’t get a girlfriend or even facilitate the alleviation of certain “drives” because his “ordinary” physical appearance will forever be compared to the Baywatch beach bum’s. The nice guy would never capitalize on a vulnerable girl, objectify or cheat on a girl, he will go out of his way and bend over backwards to help his “friends” and will never ask for anything in return but no matter how intelligent, understanding, humorous, compassionate, trusting or loyal the nice guy is the female cohort will always pass him up and endure any length of abuse, objectification, apathy and cold-heartedness from a man if he has physical attractiveness, fashion, big muscles and chiseled facial features.

The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all one-sided. This coupled with years of watching girls go for tanned, muscular jerk-offs with nice cars while he desperately hopes someone will realize that how viable he actually is will spawn and incubate the nice guy’s insecurities and he will eventually abandon his views, dumb-down his speech, take-up weight-lifting and switch majors from cancer research with a minor in theoretical physics to playground management so he can devote his time to emulating Baywatch characters and football players so that he will one day be viewed as more than a “nice guy.”

The nice guy will eventually work up the courage to ask out his attractive female friend but will invariably be turned down because she’s so self-centered that she’d never actually had a smidgeon of compassion for the nice guy’s feelings or even realized that he’s interested in girls. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will downplay the supposed friendship to the point where they never speak again, which in turn will make the nice guy depressed (ironically, he won’t have anyone to talk to) because he’s devoted so much time and energy and has become so warped from being exposed to these kinds of people that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like poo poo.

The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that people primarily care about physical appearances and that shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty.”

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry
Me.

babies havin rabies
Feb 24, 2006

psychotherapy patients

tie-dye my titties
Jun 14, 2014

by WE B Boo-ourgeois
your dad, op

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
maybe

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?

Nitrox posted:

I'm sorry nobody wants to have sex with you, Three Olives

Lots of people do sex with me, that has nothing to do with no one wanting to have a romantic relationship with me.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
i spin the dependability and empathy thing to manipulate people and it works really loving well lol

Hobohemian
Sep 30, 2005

by XyloJW
Sensitive or artistic is maybe what you're looking for.

Big McHuge
Feb 5, 2014

You wait for the war to happen like vultures.
If you want to help, prevent the war.
Don't save the remnants.

Save them all.
I'm a pretty nice dude, but I'm also not horribly fat or ugly. As a result I have had sex with many more partners than the average goon.

Indubitable Leg
Aug 9, 2013
Normal human being. Or a decent person if that tickles your fancy.

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



Three Olives posted:

Lots of people do sex with me, that has nothing to do with no one wanting to have a romantic relationship with me.

Hmmm nobody wants to spend time with you what a shocker

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



Guys people just want to jizz in me but they don't want to actually spend time with me

*takes angst to Internet and writes thread full of poorly cloaked self praise*

Sancho
Jul 18, 2003

I run a dick sucking shop

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?

Business Gorillas posted:

Hmmm nobody wants to spend time with you what a shocker

Nah, they just stopped entertaining the idea there was anything under the onion that is Three Olives but more layers of selfishness and narcissism.

Brute Hole Force
Dec 25, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Good guy, chill dude, solid motherfucker (fatherfucker?) etc.

Nice is an inoffensive adjective to make someone seem pleasant when they're obviously somewhat hosed up or incredibly loving boring.

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot
im gay

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.
i'm a very nice chill gentle dude and people do sex things to me on the reg. i think its a shame that "nice guy" sounds so dumb and lame these days so i just call myself a chillzilla and it gets the point across i think

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

I think there's like three main categories that "nice guys" fall into.

1. Genuinely nice guys that are just being themselves. They're not putting on an act and expecting to get laid for it so they're not building up all this weird resentment about it. They may not be swimming in the pussy/rear end but they usually seem pretty happy and find fulfilling relationships.

2. "Nice guys" that put on the act and feel like they're owed sex because of it. They climb up on their martyr's cross of self-righteousness more to prove a point than anything. People can sense their desperation and weird energy which leads to no sex. This reinforces the "nice guy's" idea that the world is unfair to nice guys so they get even more weird and desperate.

3. "Nice guys" that put on the act but haven't bought into some weird idealization of what being a nice guy means. It's just the niche they've found for getting laid. This can range from decent guys who just want to get laid and aren't trying to lead anyone on to sociopaths who put on the act to just use and abuse people.

Well, that's what I got.

I think #2 is the one that people are usually talking about when they refer to "nice guys", whether they realize it or not.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
i just don't give a gently caress about petty bullshit and try to be nice to people and that works pretty well in general



\/\/\/ yeah that's probably the worst part about it

Moridin920 fucked around with this message at 04:33 on Aug 3, 2015

Loden Taylor
Aug 11, 2003

I guess it's a shame that you can't hear "nice guy" without thinking creepy MRA whatever, but really, if nice is the best adjective you can come up with to describe someone, what you're really saying is that they're boring or don't have anything else going for them.

King Kaiser
Aug 3, 2015

by Ralp
You can be a "nice guy" and still be confident, masculine, sexually hostile, and driven. Most guys who call themselves nice guys are beta males, who don't realize that women want to be yelled at, slapped, and spit on..

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
generally i've found that while women don't respond well to open sexual invitations as an initial hello they do respond well to direct and confident behavior. i feel like surely there is a middle ground between 'hey i wanna gently caress your butt' and being a dildo who never makes their intentions/feelings clear

Shithouse Dave
Aug 5, 2007

each post manufactured to the highest specifications


Three Olives posted:

or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like poo poo.

Debbie is a nice girl and he should stick by her.

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.
a cool thing about having any sort of decent personality is you can just talk to other people, just like you and a person having a conversation, and it can easily turn into a nice romantic time. you don't have to come at people with a weird strategy like for trying to beat a videogame or how to plant flowers in your backyard. you just talk to a human. about all sorts of stuff. this is how relationships happen. its neat.

Ronwayne
Nov 20, 2007

That warm and fuzzy feeling.
Counterpoint: Weird robot people who no long have the social outlet of a socially assigned peasant slave wife and actually have to compete with normal people.

Cursed Lumberjack
Nov 14, 2006
A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

Three Olives posted:

TOP DEFINITION

nice guy

A young male who will give up countless hours of his time listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends because they need someone to talk to about their apathetic, Baywatch jock of a boyfriend because no one else will listen or genuinely care. Although always surrounded by beautiful girls the nice guy can’t get a girlfriend or even facilitate the alleviation of certain “drives” because his “ordinary” physical appearance will forever be compared to the Baywatch beach bum’s. The nice guy would never capitalize on a vulnerable girl, objectify or cheat on a girl, he will go out of his way and bend over backwards to help his “friends” and will never ask for anything in return but no matter how intelligent, understanding, humorous, compassionate, trusting or loyal the nice guy is the female cohort will always pass him up and endure any length of abuse, objectification, apathy and cold-heartedness from a man if he has physical attractiveness, fashion, big muscles and chiseled facial features.

The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all one-sided. This coupled with years of watching girls go for tanned, muscular jerk-offs with nice cars while he desperately hopes someone will realize that how viable he actually is will spawn and incubate the nice guy’s insecurities and he will eventually abandon his views, dumb-down his speech, take-up weight-lifting and switch majors from cancer research with a minor in theoretical physics to playground management so he can devote his time to emulating Baywatch characters and football players so that he will one day be viewed as more than a “nice guy.”

The nice guy will eventually work up the courage to ask out his attractive female friend but will invariably be turned down because she’s so self-centered that she’d never actually had a smidgeon of compassion for the nice guy’s feelings or even realized that he’s interested in girls. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will downplay the supposed friendship to the point where they never speak again, which in turn will make the nice guy depressed (ironically, he won’t have anyone to talk to) because he’s devoted so much time and energy and has become so warped from being exposed to these kinds of people that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like poo poo.

The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that people primarily care about physical appearances and that shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty.”

freakin lol

honestly cant tell if it was written by someone who is a nice guy or someone making fun of them

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?

Gatekeeper posted:

a cool thing about having any sort of decent personality is you can just talk to other people, just like you and a person having a conversation

Fine but for the love of Satan please stop asking people what they do for work. No one on earth has a job that is interesting enough to describe at a bar, even people that literally save lives for a living have to deal with a bunch of bullshit paperwork and that bitch co-worker most of the day.

basement jihadist
Oct 3, 2002

babies havin rabies posted:

psychotherapy patients

drat was gonna post this

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

:butt:

Chad Thundercock
Aug 1, 2015
hell no, girls only gently caress chad

Idiot Kicker
Jun 13, 2007
Baywatch? What loving year is this

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

Three Olives posted:

Fine but for the love of Satan please stop asking people what they do for work. No one on earth has a job that is interesting enough to describe at a bar, even people that literally save lives for a living have to deal with a bunch of bullshit paperwork and that bitch co-worker most of the day.

its cool that i said "its great to have conversations with people" and your first thought is of being in a bar and asking someone where they work

Meowbot
Oct 12, 2005

I havent had a plrecription for my eyes in years so the other day I went and got a new one and it hasnt changed. The doctor was like why havent you seen us in 4 years? I told them im scared of op tomietris when the air shoots into your eyes and dilation. They told me my eyes cold get worse....

Idiot Kicker posted:

Baywatch? What loving year is this

more like "Gaywatch"

ehehehe

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Nitrox posted:

I'm very happy nobody wants to have sex with you, Three Olives

  • Locked thread