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Shiksa post got me all warm and fuzz inside thinking about the days before internet porn, i've done some crazy things to get my hands on some printed poon. When I was 10 I walked into a highway rest stop and tried to buy a playboy, I remember telling the clerk (as my hands where shaking) that was 18. Watching plenty scrambled porn on the spice channel, I even paid a neighborhood kid $5 for a VHS recording of spice channel porn.  I used to sneak into the adult section of the video rental store to look at the VHS cases.
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Aug 4, 2015 14:13
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 07:09 |
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My dad collected (hoarded) playboy and penthouse for a while so he probably never would have noticed one went missing. Makes me feel really stupid in retrospect that I went through all the trouble of carefully arranging all the stacks to look exactly as I found them whenever I was through looking.
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Aug 4, 2015 14:17
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I found my dad's Playboys. They were all from the 80s and featured such spreads as Vanna White, and the Girls From Pac 10. The first porno I saw was one a kid down the street had stolen from his next door neighbor. The plot was about a guy that travels back in time and becomes his own grandfather.
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Aug 4, 2015 14:19
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Goldie The Mack posted:I found my dad's Playboys. They were all from the 80s and featured such spreads as Vanna White, and the Girls From Pac 10. That was Futurama, you nitwit!
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Aug 4, 2015 14:21
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me and my friends found glorious woods porn by my house when i was growin up sneakin out into the living room at like 2 or 3 in the mornin to try and catch a scrambled titty on the playboy channel on the big screen spent the night at a friends and his parents had some of the xxx channels or it was one of those free weekend things or something. so we watched hardcore porn with the sound off for a couple of min before getting freaked that his parents would wake up
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Aug 4, 2015 14:21
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Who the hell is leaving all these nudie mags in the woods? People are always talking about finding porn in the woods. The woods are not a good place to jerk off why would you bring porn there? The outdoors are also detrimental to paper so it's not a good place to store your porn, either.
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Aug 4, 2015 14:24
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the porn in the woods fairy its not like these people are making up stories to try and come to terms with the fact that they j/od with another boy(s) in the woods because they were curious
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Aug 4, 2015 14:26
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the woods around my place at the time were where high school kids would usually hang out and smoke weed and make out so that prob where they came from and then we found em
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Aug 4, 2015 14:27
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sure you did gaylord
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Aug 4, 2015 14:28
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Applewhite posted:Who the hell is leaving all these nudie mags in the woods? People are always talking about finding porn in the woods. The woods are not a good place to jerk off why would you bring porn there? I never ran across woods porn, being a suburban brat, but did frequently find torn-out pages from porn mags in supermarket or mall parking lots when I was younger.
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Aug 4, 2015 14:29
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Applewhite posted:Who the hell is leaving all these nudie mags in the woods? People are always talking about finding porn in the woods. The woods are not a good place to jerk off why would you bring porn there? I used to work for a city parks department mowing the lawns. Some days we'd get to a park early in the morning and find boxes full of porn hastily tossed by the dumpsters, in the parking lot, or by some trees. My guess is that it was people getting rid of their porn before their girlfriend moved in. I don't know why so many people just didn't use a dumpster though. Always out in the open, like they were in a huge hurry, or wanted it to be found.
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Aug 4, 2015 14:33
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Back before the internet you would hope to find a photo of a titty in a biker magazine or maybe you could find some vanilla boobs and bush pictures in woods porn, now you can just bring up your web browser and type in 'fisting scat midgets' and a horrifying tapestry of perversion is laid bare in front of you. How young dudes aren't literally wanking themselves to the point of dehydration is beyond me, maybe its all the xeno-estrogens in the food and water these days.
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Aug 4, 2015 14:40
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Applewhite posted:That was Futurama, you nitwit! I know Futurama had the same plotline, but it was definitely in the porno. I recall a scene in a drive-in where the guy stuck his dick through the side of the popcorn. When the girl grabbed his dick he said, "Lick the butter off." It was hilarious to a 12 year old.
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Aug 4, 2015 14:52
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Lunixnerd posted:young dudes literally wanking themselves to the point of dehydration please don't post my fetish
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Aug 4, 2015 14:55
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Another suburbanite here so woods porn was out of the question however trolling the retention pond out back sometimes yielded precious results. I found my first porno dvd and a pipe in that pond. It was like the giving tree of jerking off high. Sold the DVD to another highschooler because I thought wow that's a lot of assfucking!
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Aug 4, 2015 15:03
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my parents thought i was so responsible for leaving the house 40 minutes before school started but it was just so my gf and i could have sex b4 school at her empty house lol owned
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Aug 4, 2015 15:05
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I used to rewind my dad's porn tapes back to the exact same timestamp before I put them back. I put his mags in the same order too. Anyone have any interesting places they hid their porn? I hid mine in the drop ceiling in my parent's basement. That got tricky when you had more than one or two magazines because the whole thing could come crashing down. Before that I had scraps of woods porn hidden in my Trapper Keeper.
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Aug 4, 2015 15:05
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Boinks posted:I used to rewind my dad's porn tapes back to the exact same timestamp before I put them back. I put his mags in the same order too. that feel when your dad and you climax to the same porno scene
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Aug 4, 2015 15:08
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op's mom
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Aug 4, 2015 15:11
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Libelous Slander posted:that feel when your dad and you climax to the same porno scene That's true father and son bonding when you think about it. Maybe bonding to the carpet, but still.
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Aug 4, 2015 15:12
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Boinks posted:I used to rewind my dad's porn tapes back to the exact same timestamp before I put them back. I put his mags in the same order too. I drew a lot of my own porn. My favorite subject was an ORIGINAL CHARACTER DONUT STEAL based on Audrey from Disney's Atlantis. She used to get into all sorts of sexy space adventures. I hid each completed page behind my desk. By the time I went off to college, there was a pretty sizable collection back there. When I came back from my freshman year, the desk (and the drawings) were gone.  My parents never said anything about them, and I never asked. I bet they laughed their asses off, though. To this day I still cringe at the memory.
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Aug 4, 2015 15:14
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Bought a bunch of back issues of National Geographic. Checked out books about fine art from the library to look at the nudes.
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Aug 4, 2015 15:15
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I had to jerk off to my own dick
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Aug 4, 2015 15:19
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Applewhite posted:My dad collected (hoarded) playboy and penthouse for a while so he probably never would have noticed one went missing. Kids these days will never experience the kind of father son bond forged through masturbating over the same skin rags.
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Aug 4, 2015 15:26
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Applewhite posted:Who the hell is leaving all these nudie mags in the woods? People are always talking about finding porn in the woods. The woods are not a good place to jerk off why would you bring porn there? Porn elves.
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Aug 4, 2015 15:27
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Improbable Lobster posted:I had to jerk off to my own dick It helps to be gay I bet.
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Aug 4, 2015 15:27
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when i was 13 someone gave me a birthday card with a woman in a really skimpy bikini on it i wonder if they knew how much i would subsequently jerk off to their birthday greeting
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Aug 4, 2015 15:30
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I had to go five miles through the snow to a hill. It was next to another hill and they looked like boobs.
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Aug 4, 2015 15:32
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I found some in the woods, was in a garbage bag and they were all ruined from water, still saw some good stuff nonetheless. Was mostly skinemax type stuff, when I first saw full frontal it was like a revelation.
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Aug 4, 2015 15:37
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This is hilarious, so apparently there are a bunch of premature serial killers jerking off in the woods to magazine clippings and 80's porno's
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Aug 4, 2015 15:47
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bikesonyx posted:This is hilarious, so apparently there are a bunch of premature serial killers jerking off in the woods to magazine clippings and 80's porno's don't sign your posts
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Aug 4, 2015 15:47
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bikesonyx posted:This is hilarious, so apparently there are a bunch of premature serial killers jerking off in the woods to magazine clippings and 80's porno's Its good to be premature when jerking off in the woods. You never know when someone else is going to come along or you might get jumped by a bear or some poo poo.
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Aug 4, 2015 15:51
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honestly if everyone is jerking off in the woods id be more worried about the dudes who dont
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Aug 4, 2015 15:55
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I had so many wonderful and inventive hiding places for my porn, and my mother managed to find them all - she was a loving porn Columbo
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Aug 4, 2015 16:04
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jiharlequinade posted:I had so many wonderful and inventive hiding places for my porn, and my mother managed to find them all - she was a loving porn Columbo lol if you don't employ your mom as porn curator, constantly improving and updating your porn collection with the finest works on the market
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Aug 4, 2015 16:06
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Libelous Slander posted:lol if you don't employ your mom as porn curator, constantly improving and updating your porn collection with the finest works on the market Hey even as an adolescent, I loved the classics
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Aug 4, 2015 16:11
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Applewhite posted:Who the hell is leaving all these nudie mags in the woods? People are always talking about finding porn in the woods. The woods are not a good place to jerk off why would you bring porn there? I was on a road trip through Canada and we stopped at a hot springs, my brother found a couple of bundled STACKS of porn there. I guess some people accumulate massive amounts of porn then just drop them off randomly?
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Aug 4, 2015 16:19
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jiharlequinade posted:I had so many wonderful and inventive hiding places for my porn, and my mother managed to find them all - she was a loving porn Columbo She probably knew all the best hiding places from when she was growing up and hiding her porn from your grandparents.
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Aug 4, 2015 16:22
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I had a laptop when I was 12 and stumbled across newgrounds porn games
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Aug 4, 2015 16:35
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 07:09 |
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I guess that's not pre Internet but emd bichtch
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Aug 4, 2015 16:38
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