Baldbeard posted:

One of the math teachers at my middle school was this giant, 300+lb guy with diabetes. He was always panting and gasping for air from just getting up and moving around the classroom. Anyways, somehow a rumor got started that he stripped down completely naked when taking a dump. Most of us assumed it was just a joke that was started for the funny visuals....until one day my best friend found out for himself.

Apparently my buddy Mick was ditching class and smoking in the handicap stall in the student's bathroom. The handicap stall was around a small corner at the end of the bathroom. Mr. Math came in, and Mick immediately put out his cigarette and pulled his feet up. He sat there and listened to Mr. Math's footsteps get closer and closer until he could finally see his shadow right outside of the stall. The only stall Mr. Math could fit into -- the handicap stall. He listened to Mr. Math undress and then a t-shirt swung over the top of the door, then a pair of pants, then a pair of briefs. Mick said he was literally shaking on top of the toilet in fear and trying everything he could not to make a sound. When Mr. Math was completely naked save for his socks, he tried to open the stall door. Locked. Then he started shaking the door and trying to force his way in while coughing and muttering " oh no, oh no!" under his breath. Mick saw Mr. Math kneel at one point like he was trying to look under the stall, but then he stood up again. Mick said he almost fainted when he saw his knee on the floor, but luckily "the fat bastard couldn't bend down far enough."
Finally, Mr. Math dressed himself again and left "while making farting noises" and my friend snuck out a few minutes later.

I'm still friends with Mick, and he's been through some serious poo poo in his life. He says the time our 300lb naked math teacher tried to break the bathroom stall door in is still the most traumatic experience in his life.