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Crazyeyes
Nov 5, 2009

If I were human, I believe my response would be: 'go to hell'.
The only physical altercation I ever had in school happened in eighth grade. My school separates 7-8 from the high school as well as intermediate school below (4-6). I was, in typical goon fashion, an introverted semi-fat kid who did nerdy poo poo. During homeroom I would play chess with other kids or read. Mostly just kept to myself. I also wore a lot of tye-dye because I thought I liked it. So that didn't exactly help me "blend", but pretty much everyone already knew me and who I was so it never caused issues really.

Enter Peter. This kid transferred in from another school. He was that kid who always wore black military-style boots and camo pants. I guess he felt he had something to prove because he would constantly harass and make fun of me without provocation. The teacher noticed and told him repeatedly to stop but couldn't actually do much since he never outright struck me.

One day near the end of the year I was doing my usual and trying to ignore this guy (my parents always told me too ignore bullies and they'd go away...) but he ain't having none of it today. In retrospect he was almost certainly itching to fight me all year but I wouldn't respond enough to warrant him "defending his reputation" in front off the other kids. So this time I finally have enough, stand up (I'd recently hit a growth spurt so was 2+ inches taller than him) and just tell him no one is impressed by his jerk-assery and tell him to just leave me alone.

This doesn't sit well with him, me calling him out in front of the class so that's good enough for him and he takes a swing at me. I side step him and give him a shove. He trips and hits his face on the radiator, effectively ending his macho attempt at subjugating the portly nerd kid. For the remainder of my public education people thought I was some crazed lunatic and no one really bothered me.

On a different note my eighth grade language arts (not quite officially English class) teacher had my parents come in for an impromptu conference and told them it was time I learned "reading want supposed to be fun" because she didn't like the books I was reading (high fantasy genre). My parents were rather taken aback by that so I pretty much had the benefit of the doubt from then on out.

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Crazyeyes
Nov 5, 2009

If I were human, I believe my response would be: 'go to hell'.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

ok I guess that doesn't make any less sense than 'home economics'

why they can't just call it cooking I dunno

"Cooking" sounds simple and rudimentary. "home economics"/"food technology" sounds smart and sexy.

My high school had a class called "culinary basics". Literally first day the teacher walked in and announced that no where in the class curriculum was she actually required to let us cook. Used that as a threat all semester. It was more about nutrition than the skills of cooking itself. We made a few things but it was generally a waste of time as we spent more time watching the teacher crack eggs and talk about brussels sprouts than gaining any real works skills. Thank god I already knew how to cook beforehand.

Crazyeyes fucked around with this message at 19:42 on Aug 26, 2015

Crazyeyes
Nov 5, 2009

If I were human, I believe my response would be: 'go to hell'.

Baldbeard posted:

One of the math teachers at my middle school was this giant, 300+lb guy with diabetes. He was always panting and gasping for air from just getting up and moving around the classroom. Anyways, somehow a rumor got started that he stripped down completely naked when taking a dump. Most of us assumed it was just a joke that was started for the funny visuals....until one day my best friend found out for himself.

Apparently my buddy Mick was ditching class and smoking in the handicap stall in the student's bathroom. The handicap stall was around a small corner at the end of the bathroom. Mr. Math came in, and Mick immediately put out his cigarette and pulled his feet up. He sat there and listened to Mr. Math's footsteps get closer and closer until he could finally see his shadow right outside of the stall. The only stall Mr. Math could fit into -- the handicap stall. He listened to Mr. Math undress and then a t-shirt swung over the top of the door, then a pair of pants, then a pair of briefs. Mick said he was literally shaking on top of the toilet in fear and trying everything he could not to make a sound. When Mr. Math was completely naked save for his socks, he tried to open the stall door. Locked. Then he started shaking the door and trying to force his way in while coughing and muttering " oh no, oh no!" under his breath. Mick saw Mr. Math kneel at one point like he was trying to look under the stall, but then he stood up again. Mick said he almost fainted when he saw his knee on the floor, but luckily "the fat bastard couldn't bend down far enough."
Finally, Mr. Math dressed himself again and left "while making farting noises" and my friend snuck out a few minutes later.

I'm still friends with Mick, and he's been through some serious poo poo in his life. He says the time our 300lb naked math teacher tried to break the bathroom stall door in is still the most traumatic experience in his life.

I had an obese math teacher as well in 7th grade. She would always eat her lunch during class and without fail completed her meal with a pudding cup. The sounds she made while eating it were horrifying.

She also peed in her chair once. She was a very gross woman.


I just found out a little while ago that there was a fight club formed in my old middle school. Groups of boys would go into the bathroom and just wail on each other between classes. I also heard something about a group of girls providing sexual favors in the bathrooms but that story was much less substantiated. Wouldn't surprise me, though. Sex ed was a joke in my township.

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