|
nah, I don't really feel like pizza. you go ahead though. I'll just have the side salad. what, no? this place is fine. I'm just not too hungry. I just want the side salad. listen, it's not a big deal. people have side salads all of the time. I don't want bruschetta. it is not basically a side salad, no matter how you try and rationalize it. it's too heavy. I just want a side salad. with a raspberry vinaigrette on the si- stop interrupting me, I'm talking to the waitress- that's right, raspberry vinaigrette. thank you. stop sulking, it's just a side salad. oh no you are not getting me to eat some of your pizza. I don't want pizza. I'm going to a brazilian place for dinner tonight and I don't want to get too full. ok, we'll just stop talking then. we'll eat in silence. I'll have my side salad and you'll have your pizza in silence. what a fun lunch. I'm glad we left the office for this. my side salad came first, but I won't eat it. no, I won't eat it. we'll eat at the same time. I said we'll eat at the same time. stop being a jerk. I can wait. put down the knife! jesus christ, what's wrong with you? ok, whatever you say. I'm eating the side salad. just don't do anything rash. imf eebing the sibf sawaf ok, I'm finished... listen, bud, is everything ok? what you did is insane. everyone is looking; i think they're calling the cops. uh, they did. the cops are here; don't do anything crazy... no don't run, put down the knife! oh god, they shot him. whose going to pay for this lunch now? listen, waitress, my buddy said he was going to get lunch & I left my wallet in the car. could you just fish his wallet out of his back pocket and... no? well I think you're a ghoul too, how does it feel? great, now I'm washing dishes to pay off my debt. this is nonsense. it wasn't even a very good side salad.
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 19:27
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 12, 2024 04:19 |
|
|
mysterious frankie posted:nah, I don't really feel like pizza. you go ahead though. I'll just have the side salad. i'll have what she's having 
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 19:30
|
|
|
so op are you saying side salad ordering is passive aggressive hmmmm could be *strokes chin*
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 19:31
|
|
|
i read the op
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 19:32
|
|
|
CISMALES DID 9-11 posted:so op are you saying side salad ordering is passive aggressive my side salad story is a window into your own tortured psyche
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 19:35
|
|
|
Well done Frankie, I enjoyed it.
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 19:36
|
|
|
you paid for the whole salad but only needed the side
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 20:16
|
|
|
thanks for the lunchtime transcript between a fat person and an anorexic
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 20:25
|
|
|
Did you eat your croutons? Can I have them?
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 20:29
|
|
|
Watch me carefully squish the bag of saltines in my hand then tear the plastic in different directions so it flies all over the table and in your drink. Oh sorry, I should have held it over my salad.
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 20:31
|
|
|
It happens op. Or was this a parable? If it was I don't t get it.
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 20:39
|
|
|
Mad Monk posted:Did you eat your croutons? Can I have them? interesting you focused on the possibility of there being croutons. I'm writing it down right here. on my psychologist's pad... hmm, yes, hmmmmm... sorry I just passed wind.
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 20:39
|
|
|
good op
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 20:40
|
|
- hi
|
Oh man they have those baby corn and everything.. ranch, thousand island AND blue cheese? Oh, I'll just take a little of this and the macaroni salad and the potato salad.. Mind if I nibble on a slice of your pepperoni?
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 20:40
|
|
|
In all fairness you were being a pretty lovely lunch companion in that story.
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 20:57
|
|
|
mysterious frankie posted:interesting you focused on the possibility of there being croutons. I'm writing it down right here. on my psychologist's pad... hmm, yes, hmmmmm... sorry I just passed wind. Croutons are my life. All croutons all the time.
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 20:58
|
|
|
TwoFire posted:Oh man they have those baby corn and everything.. ranch, thousand island AND blue cheese? Oh, I'll just take a little of this and the macaroni salad and the potato salad.. Mind if I nibble on a slice of your pepperoni? the modern american salad bar has really done a lot to pave the way to even the most diety person eating 2700 calories in one sweaty sitting.
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 21:45
|
|
|
I left my buddy with the bill at Waffle House because he was being an rear end in a top hat. He walked back to the hotel all pissy because they made him put on an apron and wash dishes but he realized by that point that he had been wrong. And I always get bitched at when I just want to nurse a coffee or eat a something small. What I'm saying is this thread touches me.
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 22:11
|
|
|
mysterious frankie posted:the modern american salad bar has really done a lot to pave the way to even the most diety person eating 2700 calories in one sweaty sitting. If you are talking about the ones in a pizza joint, yeah. It's just uncooked toppings and dippings (and prepackaged Reyers macaroni/potato). There was this strange restaurant I went to on accident once in like 2001 somewhere near Fremont. It was just setup like a huge buffet with two lines and everything- but the only stuff there was vegetables. It also wasn't a buffet. They looked at your plate and decided how much your salad cost. The salad was pretty good as I recall but it was also the only time I spent more than $10 on a salad that didn't have some form of meat with it. Then there was this little pizza place in San Mateo that had the best tabbouleh. drat I could go for some of that right now.
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 22:35
|
|
|
FALSE Nobody eats lunch before going to a Brazilian steakhouse for dinner.
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2015 22:51
|
|
|
TwoFire posted:If you are talking about the ones in a pizza joint, yeah. It's just uncooked toppings and dippings (and prepackaged Reyers macaroni/potato). Nah, a lot of salad bars are just build your own middle age health crisis bars, especially at chains like Ruby Tuesdays. "Ok, let's get this salad going. Gotta have some iceberg lettuce... there we go. And cheese. And cheese. And croutons. And cheese. Ok. Ooh, little ham chunks. And egg. Better put some avocado on there (it's a super food). Mmm, chicken strips. And a different kind of cheese. Alfalfa, for that unforgettable crispness. drat, didn't see the rye croutons, gotta get those. And bacon bits. Gotta get my coooorn on. Oooh, tortilla strips! Finally, a healthy squirt of what is essentially slurpee mix + cornstarch on top and there we go; one eight inch high vertical pile of... something." Sometimes the salad bar also has puddings too? I dunno, I'm not knocking it, because a treacherous liar salad is tasty as any other indulgence, but I've been to a lot of business lunches where people handcraft those teetering monstrosities because they want to be healthy... I mean it's not deep fried, but if that's where you make the distinction your bar is set pretty low, man, and you aint ever limboing under it. Tabbouleh is insane, but I never see it on menus and only feel like making it sometimes, since it needs to marry for so long before you serve it, and usually after work I prefer to cook on the stove top, all in one go.
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 15:20
|
|
|
mysterious frankie posted:the modern american salad bar has really done a lot to pave the way to even the most diety person eating 2700 calories in one sweaty sitting. This is a great line, I'm going to steal it and use it in real life, thanks frankie!
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 15:46
|
|
|
mysterious frankie posted:Nah, a lot of salad bars are just build your own middle age health crisis bars, especially at chains like Ruby Tuesdays. "Ok, let's get this salad going. Gotta have some iceberg lettuce... there we go. And cheese. And cheese. And croutons. And cheese. Ok. Ooh, little ham chunks. And egg. Better put some avocado on there (it's a super food). Mmm, chicken strips. And a different kind of cheese. Alfalfa, for that unforgettable crispness. drat, didn't see the rye croutons, gotta get those. And bacon bits. Gotta get my coooorn on. Oooh, tortilla strips! Finally, a healthy squirt of what is essentially slurpee mix + cornstarch on top and there we go; one eight inch high vertical pile of... something." Sometimes the salad bar also has puddings too? I dunno, I'm not knocking it, because a treacherous liar salad is tasty as any other indulgence, but I've been to a lot of business lunches where people handcraft those teetering monstrosities because they want to be healthy... I mean it's not deep fried, but if that's where you make the distinction your bar is set pretty low, man, and you aint ever limboing under it. I'm watching my weight eating a salad teehee *eats an iceberg lettuce cheese and bacon ranch-slathered abortion that has more calories than a Big Mac* Also any chain restaurant buffet bar is gross and Ruby Tuesday's salad bar is just a classier Golden Corral what with old/fat slobs coughing and hovering all over the food anyway
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 15:48
|
|
|
eating out while dieting is utterly soul crushing because you're the rear end in a top hat having a mixed green while everyone else is pigging out and you're making them look like loving pigs while you're all pious with your radicchio and red lettuce with vinaigrette meanwhile your loving stomach is screaming for some carbs, just some loving carbs man a mouthful of bread ain't gonna kill nobody let's just have a small appetizer get some fried calamari oh god it's been forever since you've had fried calamari hey ask jean if you can have a fry, just one fry god drat it over half her plate is loving fries she's not gonna miss one fry ARRRRRRRRGH *sucks all the dopamine out of your brain and sends you into mega-depression* "How's the diet going?" "It's going fine. Now I'm going to sit here and watch you eat a burrito the size a loving infant and force you to have a long, protracted conversations between bites. I will be sure to ask you a question just as soon as you've taken a bit to ensure that you cannot actually enjoy your food and force you to swallow it as soon as possible so you can answer me so as not to look like an rear end in a top hat yourself." "How was your salad?" "Bitter and tart, and now gone, and I cannot have any more to eat. I hate myself and long to die." so much fun
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 15:55
|
|
|
Cool lifehack: if you want to eat light with friends but youre too much of a pussy to justify your low calorie meal, get a high calorie meal and - wait for it - don't eat all of it
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 16:06
|
|
|
Naerasa posted:Cool lifehack: if you want to eat light with friends but youre too much of a pussy to justify your low calorie meal, get a high calorie meal and - wait for it - don't eat all of it nah, gently caress that - pants're coming off. i'm here to eat, not make everybody ELSE happy
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 16:16
|
|
|
voted 1
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 16:44
|
|
|
vegetables give me nice poos imo
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 16:52
|
|
|
Jerry Mumphrey posted:vegetables give me nice poos imo 
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 16:57
|
|
|
I'm working on a number of side projects, and a side salad is a perfect accompaniment.
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 17:05
|
|
|
don't mind me, fellow diners; just gonna crouch in the corner here & suckle some nutritive soylent out of my 8-bit gaming themed protein shake bottle. joie de vivre? heh, no... my weltanschauung is far more... digital. -sir, please leave the presentation but I want to learn about Windows Containers! -well too bad, sir, because you're making everyone uncomfortable but the Containers! -please stop waving that prop from a dystopian film at me
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 17:08
|
|
|
I think I'll just hit the salad bar.
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 18:19
|
|
|
Champenema posted:I think I'll just hit the salad bar. oh my god is that FOUR of everything?!
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 18:51
|
|
|
basement jihadist posted:oh my god is that FOUR of everything?! Welcome to the wonderful world of mirrors, bitch
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 19:10
|
|
|
Its not like salad bars prevent you from grabbing only healthy stuff and using appropriate amounts of the less healthy things. Just grab the fresh fruits and veggies options, use minimal or no cheese, and go with a light dressing. I wish we had a sweet tomato in Wa cause id go there all the time.
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 19:11
|
|
|
minimal cheese IS no cheese 
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 19:13
|
|
|
ArbitraryC posted:Its not like salad bars prevent you from grabbing only healthy stuff and using appropriate amounts of the less healthy things. Just grab the fresh fruits and veggies options, use minimal or no cheese, and go with a light dressing. I wish we had a sweet tomato in Wa cause id go there all the time. this is literally the same argument that fast food places make when they deflect blame since they're making everyone fat and destroying our healthcare system
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 19:16
|
|
|
Germstore posted:minimal cheese IS no cheese
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 19:17
|
|
|
Business Gorillas posted:this is literally the same argument that fast food places make when they deflect blame since they're making everyone fat and destroying our healthcare system I also don't think theres anyone in 2015 that doesn't know that salads can be calorically dense with the wrong ingredients, its an incredibly common smalltalk conversation when people discuss healthy eating.
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 19:22
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 12, 2024 04:19 |
|
|
please stop ruining this bad thread by lecturing each other about proper salad construction, my god.
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2015 21:08
|
|