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 I stand in the background so not to be noticed but close enough to hear the priest's hallow words drift like smoke above your grave. As I listen my eyes dart back and forth from mourner to mourner wondering if any of them feel any true grief or loss. Maybe this is you at your best, cold, dead, and in the ground, something to be pitied, something to be mourned. The clergyman goes quiet and an amorphous family member steps forward to say a few apathetic words, I don't stay. I pull my jacket closed turn around, and whisper. "Dead, gay, so what!"
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Aug 21, 2015 18:07
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The horniest manticore easily claims the first post.
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Aug 21, 2015 18:07
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Aug 21, 2015 18:08
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A lady at work's mom looks like Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie so we call her mom Tootsie whenever we see her.
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Aug 21, 2015 18:13
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I'm just glad to know somebody cares.
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Aug 21, 2015 18:35
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That'd be pretty cool to have you there, you're more than welcome to attend Mr. Dafoe. I'd prefer a cuck joke though.
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Aug 21, 2015 18:37
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wow im loving dead and the guy from plattoon is at my funeral. this is loving radical
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Aug 21, 2015 18:39
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While Dafoe turns and walks silently into the shadows, another mourner approaches the casket and presses X to pay respect.
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Aug 21, 2015 18:41
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l33t b4c0n posted:While Dafoe turns and walks silently into the shadows, another mourner approaches the casket and presses X to pay respect. *Presses X*
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Aug 21, 2015 18:42
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Bobby Peru: I gotta take a piss bad, can I use your head? Lula: Uh... yeah, I guess. Bobby Peru: I don't mean your head-head. I'm not gonna piss on your head, your hair and all, I'm just gonna piss in the toilet. Y'all take a listen, you'll hear the deep sound comin' down from Bobby Peru.
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Aug 21, 2015 18:44
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after my faked death, the real work can begin
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Aug 21, 2015 18:44
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William Dafoe not being the joker yet is the biggest crime in cinema, or so facebook tells me.
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Aug 21, 2015 18:48
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i'm just glad to be dead
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Aug 21, 2015 18:49
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Aug 21, 2015 18:53
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Can you dress like you dressed in Streets of Fire and then have a sledgehammer fight over my grave?
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Aug 21, 2015 18:55
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*drops to knees and throws hands up at sky as gooks slowly gain on me*
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Aug 21, 2015 18:55
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basement jihadist posted:*drops to knees and throws hands up at sky as gooks slowly gain on me* You missed.
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Aug 21, 2015 19:01
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Your held, seated in a uncomfortable chair, high above your family and friends. To your left your father is being raised up, to your right your put-upon mother. You think abut what your bat mitzvah really means, now you are a man. The last thought is interrupted as, do to your new elevation , you observe Willem Defoe nearing the door. He looks at you and gives a small twisted smile, this is when you notice the strong smell of methane. You wonder why you didn't notice it sooner. Willem turns and walks to the door, you see him produce something shiny from his pocket. No, you scream as you suss out that Dafoe is pulling out a silver Zippo. He turns once more, smiles, and whispers mockingly. "Mol o tov" The air turns bright orange. 
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Aug 21, 2015 19:44
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anyone who sees dafoe is gona think he's the devil there to take my soul
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Aug 21, 2015 19:45
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Sorry William Dafoe this funeral is a celebration of my life and your dour presence is not welcome.
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Aug 21, 2015 19:53
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remember his showercock from antichrist, or was that a stuntcock?
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Aug 21, 2015 20:08
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AKA Pseudonym posted:Sorry William Dafoe this funeral is a celebration of my life and your dour presence is not welcome. wtf is william dafoe?!
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Aug 21, 2015 20:33
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i always confuse him with that guy from the amityville horror that killed his family
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Aug 21, 2015 20:37
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Ramsus posted:remember his showercock from antichrist, or was that a stuntcock? That was a stuntcock because his real cock was too big and it was confusing people
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Aug 21, 2015 20:40
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Mierenneuker posted:wtf is william dafoe?! All the cool people call him William. That Willem stuff is just for the plebs. But I guess you wouldn't know that would you?
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Aug 21, 2015 20:40
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AbbadonOfHell posted:That'd be pretty cool to have you there, you're more than welcome to attend Mr. Dafoe. I'd prefer a cuck joke though. you should gently caress her
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Aug 21, 2015 20:42
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Aug 21, 2015 21:41
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Really channeling Klaus kinski here
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Aug 21, 2015 21:45
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is that from "mr. mom"?
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Aug 21, 2015 21:47
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dad gay. so what posted:is that from "mr. mom"? no its a picture of him ordering from in-n-out they almost kept pickles on his burger
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Aug 21, 2015 22:00
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Aug 21, 2015 22:32
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i am willem dafoe's blood ejaculate
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Aug 21, 2015 22:34
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Press F to announce there was a firefight.
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Aug 21, 2015 22:34
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*sprouts horns* "his soul is mine, he sold it to me for a lamborghini testarossa. A hard bargain if I say so myself AHAHAHAHAHA. Now who else wants to strike a bargain. Anything you've ever wanted for the low low price of your immortal soul"
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Aug 22, 2015 00:28
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Ugh
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Aug 22, 2015 00:30
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He's a good dancer. https://vimeo.com/49333930
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Aug 22, 2015 03:58
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Celery Face posted:He's a good dancer. That is one droopy dong.
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Aug 22, 2015 03:59
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Alan Smithee posted:*sprouts horns* In other words, chaos reigns.
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Aug 22, 2015 07:37
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He cant even spell his own name right
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Aug 22, 2015 07:43
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better stop talking poo poo dafoe i knock you upside the head
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Aug 22, 2015 08:09
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