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Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!
Grimey Drawer
*shower water temperature is a quantum uncertainty*

*you're sure crappy window unit AC is going to rattle itself out of frame and kill someone on the sidewalk*

*roaches and silverfish do not even pitch in on utility bills*

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Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry
I'm the guy that always plays the same techno song on repeat with my new sound system almost every day.

Turns out the guy with the best drat parking spot with shade had abandoned that car there months ago. Happy to see it towed.

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!
Grimey Drawer
No I can't quiet down, 2AM is the only time my lovely band can practice up here! Cmmon man what am I gonna do?!??

Extra Large Marge
Jan 21, 2004

Fun Shoe
My neighbor had a pretty smart scam going where instead of paying his power bill he would just run an extension cord from his apartment to an outlet in the hallway.

The Anime Liker
Aug 8, 2009

by VideoGames
*buys an awesome surround sound system but can't use it because the neighbors who are always screaming at each other filed a noise complaint when you watched Batman with the subwoofer barely on*

ThePeavstenator
Dec 18, 2012

:burger::burger::burger::burger::burger:

Establish the Buns

:burger::burger::burger::burger::burger:
*Moves in because of forgetting to type "Stay safe poverty ghost"*

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM™ #ad📢

Arian_Samurai posted:

My neighbor had a pretty smart scam going where instead of paying his power bill he would just run an extension cord from his apartment to an outlet in the hallway.

I feel like this scheme is not actually all that workable.

TheKennedys
Sep 23, 2006

By my hand, I will take you from this godforsaken internet
*complex has more 911 calls than any other complex in town*

*cops tell white people to go back inside, line up every black person in four buildings and interrogate them*

*black teenager next door calls you his "second mama" because you actually give a poo poo about whether he graduates*

*half the people in your side of the complex have been arrested over the course of a year*

*every single boy and man over 14 in complex sells weed*

*complex decides to do renovations mid-lease, replaces good dishwasher with lovely one and tries to get people to move all their furniture to replace carpets*

*can't tell if gunshots or fireworks*

*roving gang of chihuahuas prevents maintenance from doing anything for weeks until owners are evicted*

*you become really good with tools because the sun will burn out and kill us all before maintenance actually comes to fix anything*

Austin, ladies and gentlemen.

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

oldpainless posted:

I feel like this scheme is not actually all that workable.

It isn't. We in the industry discover it and basically rape your wallet over it. Had a guy who got redtagged that plugged into his neighbor's outlet on his porch. We found it and had to tell the neighbor because they're basically getting stolen from. It can get really nasty when you wade in them waters, people are really defensive about their utility bills.

E: I guess that's not really us doing the financial damage there, but I have seen a guy get kicked out because he got caught doing the above, and then did it to a different neighbor the next day. poo poo people just pay your bills and keep your drat power on.

Honky Dong Country fucked around with this message at 23:02 on Aug 25, 2015

90s Solo Cup
Feb 22, 2011

To understand the cup
He must become the cup



It's 3am and I'm the young black kid who screams "SWEAR TA GOD I'MA KILL SOMEONE TONIGHT" while kicking on his girlfriend's car door until security shows up and tells me to cut that poo poo out.

90s Solo Cup fucked around with this message at 02:16 on Aug 26, 2015

Drunk Tomato
Apr 23, 2010

If God wanted us sober,
He'd knock the glass over.
*shotguns beers in the stairwell nightly*

*designates a row of tall shrubs down the street as "pee bushes" to use during parties*

*guy gets set on fire and thrown out the third story of parking garage a block away*

*parked cars get bombed and set on fire on a near-weekly basis*

*roommate's dumbass friend gets hammered and stands in the middle of the street with a baseball bat, shattering mirrors and windows of cars that drive by*

*friendly neighbor named Pancho offers to help me move a couch in, then invites me over for carne asada. A week later cops knock on the door, ask if I know anything about him because he has been murdered*

gently caress living near universities

H.H
Oct 24, 2006

August is the Cruelest Month
*a (bad) graffiti of a dick is painted on the side of the building directly opposite my window*

*ventilation for the bathroom is actually a shaft running the length of the building, when in the shower I hear the neighbours showering with me*

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM™ #ad📢

Drunk Tomato posted:

*shotguns beers in the stairwell nightly*

*designates a row of tall shrubs down the street as "pee bushes" to use during parties*

*guy gets set on fire and thrown out the third story of parking garage a block away*

*parked cars get bombed and set on fire on a near-weekly basis*

*roommate's dumbass friend gets hammered and stands in the middle of the street with a baseball bat, shattering mirrors and windows of cars that drive by*

*friendly neighbor named Pancho offers to help me move a couch in, then invites me over for carne asada. A week later cops knock on the door, ask if I know anything about him because he has been murdered*

gently caress living near universities
Was the carne asada that bad?

EmperorFritoBandito
Aug 7, 2010

by exmarx

Drunk Tomato posted:

*friendly neighbor named Pancho offers to help me move a couch in, then invites me over for carne asada. A week later cops knock on the door, ask if I know anything about him because he has been murdered*

:stare:

Sudden Loud Noise
Feb 18, 2007

Drunk Tomato posted:

*shotguns beers in the stairwell nightly*

*designates a row of tall shrubs down the street as "pee bushes" to use during parties*

*guy gets set on fire and thrown out the third story of parking garage a block away*

*parked cars get bombed and set on fire on a near-weekly basis*

*roommate's dumbass friend gets hammered and stands in the middle of the street with a baseball bat, shattering mirrors and windows of cars that drive by*

*friendly neighbor named Pancho offers to help me move a couch in, then invites me over for carne asada. A week later cops knock on the door, ask if I know anything about him because he has been murdered*

gently caress living near universities

I mean, murdering your neighbor probably deserves its own thread, don't be shy.

hawowanlawow
Jul 27, 2009

I once said something to my lovely apartment neighbor about not picking up her big dog's poo poo, but afterword I think she just kept it on her tiny balcony in piles of its own poo poo. It still smelled like poo poo at my door and the dog had it worse off too. :smith:

hawowanlawow fucked around with this message at 05:43 on Aug 26, 2015

SmokaDustbowl
Feb 12, 2001

by vyelkin
Fun Shoe
a guy outside is going to get punched in the face for being a loving dick

Shumagorath
Jun 6, 2001

radiatinglines posted:

I once said something to my lovely apartment neighbor about not picking up her big dog's poo poo, but afterword I think she just kept it on her tiny balcony in piles of its own poo poo. It still smelled like poo poo at my door and the dog had it worse off too. :smith:
Did you think to phone the ASPCA? Unlike the landlord or local police they might actually do something in a bad neighbourhood.

Freakbox
Dec 22, 2009

"And Tomorrow I can get Scared Another Day..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_I1zIhVICwA

:siren: :parrot: :jiggled: :yosbutt: :refurb: :siren:

((I always wanted to be 'that neighbor', for just one night//day.))

Freakbox fucked around with this message at 06:17 on Aug 26, 2015

zooted heh
Oct 16, 2005

str8 mercin burgers my nigga
im the guy that works for landscapeing weed wacking at 7 am sharp.

A SWEATY FATBEARD
Oct 6, 2012

:buddy: GAY 4 ORGANS :buddy:

H.H posted:

*ventilation for the bathroom is actually a shaft running the length of the building, when in the shower I hear the neighbours showering with me*

Yes, this is what happens in my building as well, we have no less than two bathroom ventilation shafts spanning through 18 floors of the apartment tower. The bathrooms act as mechanical amplifiers (not unlike a sound horn) and if you're lucky, you can hear a chorus of people pooping noisily in there.

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


*morning after thanksgiving, kitchen sink has overflowed with upstairs neighbor's table scraps*

A SWEATY FATBEARD
Oct 6, 2012

:buddy: GAY 4 ORGANS :buddy:
*the garbage chute has been clogged since 1972 when some enterprising moron jammed the whole thing with a christmas tree*

*someone keeps stealing lightbulbs from hallway fixtures*

*neighbors senile dog keeps peeing in a zigzag pattern all over the hall*

*the upstairs guy likes to toss marbles (or metal ball bearings) in the bathroom at 2AM*

*woof. woof. AROOOOO! woof. woof. AROOOOO!*

Punk da Bundo
Dec 29, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
im the constant 90 degree temp in the hallway

Fur20
Nov 14, 2007

すご▞い!
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね!
*neighbor's strung-out guest shits in the hallway because the toilet was saying mean things to him*

Jedi Knight Luigi
Jul 13, 2009
Marble sounds are actually more like belt buckles hitting the hardwood floor. Hth

SmokaDustbowl
Feb 12, 2001

by vyelkin
Fun Shoe
BRAAAAAAAPPPPPP someone didn't pull the shower knob hard enough

A SWEATY FATBEARD
Oct 6, 2012

:buddy: GAY 4 ORGANS :buddy:
the next door tenant throws noisy crack parties every night and keeps an unsocialized BYB pitbull in his studio apartment, until one fateful night one of the patrons OD's on lord knows what and dies in the apartment, his crackhead buddies are like wtf and they just stuff the body in the dumpster and continue partying as if nothing important happened. this happened 22 years ago and I wish I was making this poo poo up.

TacticalUrbanHomo
Aug 17, 2011

by Lowtax

Hobohemian posted:

Holy gently caress no. I would live on the street before dealing with that poo poo.

are you under the impression that brown recluses are agoraphobic or what

Steak
Dec 9, 2005

Pillbug
oh, my upstairs neighbor is pissing again.

Fur20
Nov 14, 2007

すご▞い!
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね!

Steak posted:

oh, my upstairs neighbor is pissing again.

i hope your landlord fixes that leak in your ceiling soon bruh

Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

The White Dragon posted:

i hope your landlord fixes that leak in your ceiling soon bruh

*places repair order*
*two and a half years pass*
*turd residue begins leaking as well*

The Anime Liker
Aug 8, 2009

by VideoGames

Pon de Bundy posted:

im the constant 90 degree temp in the hallway

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

zooted heh posted:

im the guy that works for landscapeing weed wacking at 7 am sharp.

Well gently caress you then, rear end in a top hat. I hate you.

Toadvine
Mar 16, 2009
Please disregard my advice w/r/t history.
When I was in high school, my dad and I lived in a complex with several prolific dealers.

One evening I went into the hallway, where I saw numerous police officers in POLICE body armor, guns drawn making their way up the landings. One of them jerked his head at me, motioning me back inside.

I was :yikes: incarnate

Toadvine
Mar 16, 2009
Please disregard my advice w/r/t history.
Car alarm at 6:55 am on a Saturday. Too early to want to start the day, too late to fall back asleep.

Worn down brown carpeting looks like a dogs mangy rump.

Tiny white Honda with a huge muffler, every interior item removed down to the metal, save for a stereo faceplate, phone charger cradle, and a 5 point racing harness. Nicest car in the lot.

Kids toys on every balcony.

Cigarette butts everywhere.

tater_salad
Sep 15, 2007


50 units, 30 cars in parking lot, only 5 leave for 8 hours a day.

CuddleCryptid
Jan 11, 2013

Things could be going better

I'm the paper thin drywall that turns complex into Penthouse Forums every night

hawowanlawow
Jul 27, 2009

I'm the four inches of spackle coating every wall

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phasmid
Jan 16, 2015

Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY
"It's not a leak. It's just condensation."

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