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T-Bone
Sep 14, 2004

jakes did this?

mennoknight posted:

Tanner Crocknuts, Yancy Gloober, Mike Mikkelson, Garrett Cumswap, Horton Knuf, Prince

Yes! We're now in our third iteration of the somehow annual SAS Fantasy Draft wherein we redraft the entire league and make specious arguments about whose team is better and gleefully slot rapists into our top six.

But now! with the power of technology and Sports Interactive's "new" (it's basically 07 with tweaks) Eastside Hockey Manager http://store.steampowered.com/app/301120/ we can truly see who would have the best team in an unrealistic goalie/first line centric world. I have sadly edited my EHM roster so that each of our pathetic and poorly constructed teams are fully assembled, and I will be simulating an entire season (or more!) with these Goon made monstrosities battling it out.

This simulation is based on our 2nd draft, which took place in the morass that was the 2014 offseason:



Rosters are viewable here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1a80PmyvcOnXidTbKzsd0mkxjVKIP1LoiHcXtMuUMKjU/edit#gid=671811590

I'm not really sure how I'm going to structure the sim yet. I'm thinking NHL/AHL/Canadian Hockey League with full detail (since a bunch of prospects were taken in this version of our draft) and monthly updates. I'll probably actually let the computers control all the teams because it would be a nightmare to set lines through injuries and I don't know what horrible combinations you Don Waddell juniors envisioned.

Anyway, embarrassing updates coming soon!

T-Bone fucked around with this message at 19:36 on Aug 22, 2015

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fits
Jan 1, 2008

Love Always,
The Captain
:munch: I didn't have time to do the fantasy draft this year so basing it off last year is a good idea, in my opinion

T-Bone
Sep 14, 2004

jakes did this?

fits posted:

:munch: I didn't have time to do the fantasy draft this year so basing it off last year is a good idea, in my opinion

Jordan is going to do this year's when we finish!

Jordan7hm
Feb 17, 2011




Lipstick Apathy

T-Bone posted:

Jordan is going to do this year's when we finish!

yep

Cocaine Bear
Nov 4, 2011

ACAB

God's work.

ThinkTank
Oct 23, 2007

You are a saint T-Bone.

Slappy Pappy
Oct 15, 2003

Mighty, mighty eagle soaring free
Defender of our homes and liberty
Bravery, humility, and honesty...
Mighty, mighty eagle, rescue me!
Dinosaur Gum
If the Bruins are any good I'm going to take credit. If not, it's all Jamwad.

They won't be good.

T-Bone
Sep 14, 2004

jakes did this?

Spamtron7000 posted:

If the Bruins are any good I'm going to take credit. If not, it's all Jamwad.

They won't be good.

Rask is a magic man in EHM I wouldn't be surprised if they make the playoffs.

Stickarts
Dec 21, 2003

literally

Hell yes. Team Saskatchewan is ready for a red hot 24th place finish.

T-Bone
Sep 14, 2004

jakes did this?
I forgot to mention too that undrafted players will just remain on their original teams unless they cause cap problems (hello Sheldon Souray).

e: Actually I think I'm gonna remove any undrafted significant (1.5m+) contract, seems like the fairest way.

T-Bone fucked around with this message at 21:56 on Aug 22, 2015

Paulocaust
Jan 29, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
I hate the team I drafted but this is cool

T-Bone
Sep 14, 2004

jakes did this?
Preseason underway, mockery incoming. Running with NHL/AHL/CHL/International on full detail so I'll even have box requests upon some insane person's request.

T-Bone fucked around with this message at 00:34 on Aug 23, 2015

T-Bone
Sep 14, 2004

jakes did this?
argh the stupid loving put all the preseason injuries back on when I reloaded this is so irritating. Ok, have to reset one more time guys. This load will hopefully not be retarded.

T-Bone fucked around with this message at 01:38 on Aug 23, 2015

Starsfan
Sep 29, 2007

This is what happens when you disrespect Cam Neely
Well I was Buffalo's GM so the bar is pretty low for me to hop over, anything better than 23 wins and 54 points and I'll be happy.

Precambrian Video Games
Aug 19, 2002



McEichel here I come!

Can you post my players ratings? I imagine that my forwards are all garbage.

T-Bone
Sep 14, 2004

jakes did this?

eXXon posted:

McEichel here I come!

Can you post my players ratings? I imagine that my forwards are all garbage.

These are just the offense ratings:



Anyway, update soon. Everything looks good.

T-Bone
Sep 14, 2004

jakes did this?
OK hopefully everything is set properly because I'm done doing edits I have at least a minimal life.

Preseason has finished! Here is the salary cap situation on October 2nd, going into the regular season. Note that the Sharks have not hit the floor but I don't even think the penalties are programmed in so not to worry:




Let's take a look at the trade block too. For some reason the Detroit GM always wants to trade Glendening in every sim I do, but he's actually pretty decent!




No trades to report yet but we do have some amusing/horrible signings:










And here is what the Computer GMs think of your terrible teams:








There were also two major preseason injuries that you can blame your respective failures on:


T-Bone
Sep 14, 2004

jakes did this?
Opening night line combos oh my god:

Atlantic Division


Is Randy still coaching? What is a Lindstrom and why is it on the 2nd line?


There's no McDavid to save you now Taylor. The 3rd line is better than the 2nd line. Maatta is still hurt so the D will be better thank god.


Good news: Trouba is a day away from returning so the D will escape the dumpster fire that is currently consuming it. Bad news: Tyler Johnson tore his MCL in his first game and is out three months.


David Desharnaising all over the first line. The free Pastrnak is nice though.


Sharp is out for a few days so he's not pictured here. Prust-Briere-Heatley folks.


For some reason Tyson Barrie got sat in the first game.


Babs going with the vets.


Neal being suspended still does not in anyway excuse David Jones on the first line.

T-Bone fucked around with this message at 07:23 on Aug 23, 2015

T-Bone
Sep 14, 2004

jakes did this?
Metropolitan Division


I like the D but what is up with the loving Thorburn obsession.


Gallagher is out a few weeks so the free Dano helps.


I'm not sure if playing Chris Phillips in all situations is the most prudent move.


LD Depth Chart: Hillen, Allen, McDonagh


This roster respects the Voynov suspension so yeah.


Is it suspicious or embarrassing that the computer has hosed up my lines less than anyone else's?


Ginette's bottom four D are also the first four bosses in Double Dragon.


Sutter finds his purpose.


West lines coming soon. Keep in mind that the lines in computer hands are very fluid in EHM so these combinations will change often.

T-Bone fucked around with this message at 06:43 on Aug 23, 2015

Precambrian Video Games
Aug 19, 2002



What the gently caress is the AI sitting Wiercioch and Dillon to play Allen and Hillen?

Even worse what the gently caress is that first line? Nate Thompson Jay McClement and Zach Boychuk?? Can you please fire my coach ASAP

T-Bone
Sep 14, 2004

jakes did this?

eXXon posted:

What the gently caress is the AI sitting Wiercioch and Dillon to play Allen and Hillen?

Even worse what the gently caress is that first line? Nate Thompson Jay McClement and Zach Boychuk?? Can you please fire my coach ASAP

I think that's actually a preseason lineup -- your team hasn't played its first game yet.

the talent deficit
Dec 20, 2003

self-deprecation is a very british trait, and problems can arise when the british attempt to do so with a foreign culture





I don't even remember taking Brandon Sutter. Is Brooks Laich hurt or does EHM just think he sucks more than Tyler Kennedy?

T-Bone
Sep 14, 2004

jakes did this?
Central Division


The free Klingberg is pretty nice. I don't have anything mean to say about this team sadly.


The free Dubnyk will be nice when Ma$on inevitably falters. Losing Niskanen really hurts this D.


I think the comp scrambling to sign Andrew Ference adequately describes this defense (Krug is hurt for a couple of days).


I know, the forwards don't look great -- but Bozak is out for 10 days.


Did I mention goalies were really important in EHM? This is another team where the comp is doing reasonable lines though.


Top 6 or bust.


From Sobotka with love.

T-Bone fucked around with this message at 07:25 on Aug 23, 2015

T-Bone
Sep 14, 2004

jakes did this?

the talent deficit posted:

I don't even remember taking Brandon Sutter. Is Brooks Laich hurt or does EHM just think he sucks more than Tyler Kennedy?

The comp is trying to trade Laich lol

T-Bone
Sep 14, 2004

jakes did this?
Pacific Division


Not pictured: One Vinny Lecavalier.


Gormley still hasn't been picked in our current draft.


Bizarro Oilers.


I kind of like this team if Mike Smith doesn't blow it.


Joe Cannata is what happens when you don't draft a backup goalie.


This team signed Horcoff and Weiss. Inspiring start.


I like this team in reality but those goalies are trouble in EHM.


OK that's it for tonight. Tomorrow I'll sim a month or two. I'll post ratings requests/whatever too -- let me know.


e: Simmed a day to get eXXon's actual opening night lines:



de:

T-Bone fucked around with this message at 07:16 on Aug 23, 2015

Precambrian Video Games
Aug 19, 2002



Jordan drafted a great top 6 for the Hawks but evidently forgot about defense after Chara.

e: ok that lineup is much better, whoever did the ratings must be a big Mantha fanboy though.

Verviticus
Mar 13, 2006

I'm just a total piece of shit and I'm not sure why I keep posting on this site. Christ, I have spent years with idiots giving me bad advice about online dating and haven't noticed that the thread I'm in selects for people that can't talk to people worth a damn.
thankfully in EHM every player can handle 60 mins and every goalie can play 82 games

but holy poo poo... canucks would've been a good real life team but are going to be a very bad EHM team unless the computer just plays zetterberg/ovie 45 mins a game which uh, might happen. and then i'll win every game. hopefully andersen has a good rating in these rosters

legit concerned about that PP though. santorelli probably has like a 4 for creativity and passing

anyways i think the blackhawks, jets, caps, canucks, devils jets and islanders are probably all going to turn out pretty well all in all

Verviticus fucked around with this message at 08:32 on Aug 23, 2015

Starsfan
Sep 29, 2007

This is what happens when you disrespect Cam Neely
Well based on the program's assessments of our teams, it seems that it is tipping Dallas and Boston to meet in the SC finals - the only "needs" these teams are identified as having as they could add a 2nd pairing defenseman and "prospective" forward depth whatever that means. Every other team has a major piece left to add to it's roster - a first line player, top pairing defenceman, or #1 goaltender.

Winnipeg is the only team to have 3 major pieces missing - 2 first line wingers + the kiss of death (need a #1 goaltender). Could be your likely contenders for McDavid in this alternate universe :)

Paulocaust
Jan 29, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
My team gets worse every time I look at it. Carlyle still haunts me and is playing a guy that washed out of the league irl on my second line.

Twin Cinema
Jun 1, 2006



Playoffs are no big deal,
don't have a crap attack.
I'm glad I got a free Klingberg (is he any good in this game?) because he fills out my defense. Hopefully Semin doesn't suck as bad in this game as he did this past season. Also, Paajarvi on the second line while Ryan Strome and Huberdeau on the fourth? Uh, okay.

T-Bone
Sep 14, 2004

jakes did this?
Klingberg is really good.

Paulocaust posted:

My team gets worse every time I look at it. Carlyle still haunts me and is playing a guy that washed out of the league irl on my second line.

Quick dominates though, bet you still do well.

T-Bone fucked around with this message at 18:55 on Aug 23, 2015

T-Bone
Sep 14, 2004

jakes did this?
November 1st Update


Tampa is off to a hot start in the East although the +2 G/D isn't great. Detroit and Ottawa appear to have the best underlying numbers while Paulo's leafs really need to score more. My poor little Devils :(


I knew there was a reason I liked the Sharks. Meanwhile the Avalanche have been truly dreadful and are leading the hard charge for McJesus.


Tomas Plekanec is tearing it the gently caress up and The Semin has returned.


You can see why San Jose is doing so well. Ekblad's hot start doesn't bode well when factored into Calgary's poor start.


Quick is doing his best to drag the Leafs into contention. Rask looks like the Vezina favorite so far.


loving San Jose man.

We have one sad little trade:

Major injuries of note:



McDavid/Eichel update:







If anyone wants a team specific update let me know, I'll wait a bit before the next month's sim to accommodate requests

the talent deficit
Dec 20, 2003

self-deprecation is a very british trait, and problems can arise when the british attempt to do so with a foreign culture





who is gonna replace faulk in the caps lineup? i think they're pretty doomed without him. they were already playing two rookie d

T-Bone
Sep 14, 2004

jakes did this?

the talent deficit posted:

who is gonna replace faulk in the caps lineup? i think they're pretty doomed without him. they were already playing two rookie d

Current lines (Turris is out 2 weeks)




the talent deficit
Dec 20, 2003

self-deprecation is a very british trait, and problems can arise when the british attempt to do so with a foreign culture





awww yisss, look at all those career AHLers. tim kennedy! chris connor! kris newbury! i can't believe EHM thinks laich is worse than all of them

oleksy is less terrible than i imagined would be replacing faulk. connor murphy on the top pairing is terrifying though

Boomer The Cannon
Oct 27, 2011

Gotta see it live!


Holy crap.

Starsfan
Sep 29, 2007

This is what happens when you disrespect Cam Neely
god drat it Niemi and Enroth. You're sinking the team!

**still ahead of the pace of the real life Sabres so I can hold on to that :(

Cocaine Bear
Nov 4, 2011

ACAB

wow, really though the Ottawa Young Guns would have a much harder time in the EHM sim. Though it's only been a month, so I'm cautiously optimistic.

Also, this thread T-Bowns.

fits
Jan 1, 2008

Love Always,
The Captain
:rip: cats

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T-Bone
Sep 14, 2004

jakes did this?

Your D isn't great but I like your forwards and Bishop is quite good. I think you'll get out of the basement at least.

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